


Unique in All the World

by EryiScrye (SomberSecrets)



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Archive Warnings Will Eventually Apply, Falling In Love, Fluff, Hollywood Style Fudging with an Attempt to De-Fudge Somewhat, I am so sorry, Light Smut, Literary References Everywhere, Loosely Based on a Book/Movie, Major Illness, Multi, Post Completion Tags:, Redemption Arcs, Romance, Short Lived Incest, Slow Burn, So Many More Characters But They More Minor, Trigger warnings at the beginning of chapters, a walk to remember au, coming to terms, indulgent writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-06-26 17:15:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 35
Words: 102,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19772815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomberSecrets/pseuds/EryiScrye
Summary: After an accident during initiations, Jaime Lannister finds himself the target of Catelyn Stark’s allayed fury and ends up needing the help of a girl he’s known since his childhood, Brienne Tarth. What he doesn’t know is that the more he learns about Brienne, the more he learns about himself and the choices he has to make to be who he has always wanted to be.“Don’t go falling in love with me now Jaime Lannister.”“No offense wench, but that’s not going to be a problem.”





	1. Highest High to Lowest Low

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first true multi-chapter work in this fandom, yay! It's been a long time since I've written and posted a multi-chapter. I came up with the idea and basically went into a fugue state for one week where I spent all of my free time mashing this bad boy out. Hopefully it's at least somewhat good. I personally like it even thought I had a hard time ending it. 
> 
> Thank you so much to Victoriel for the story banner! It's perfect and I love it.
> 
> Good news! It is already complete and I will be doing the final edits of each chapter right before I post them. There is no beta, but if you would like to do so, shoot me a message! That means that there will be a chapter out every two to three days and the whole entire thing should be out in a little over two months. As a general note, when I post completed multi-chaps I am very self referential so there are easter eggs peppered all over the place. Just a fun thing to look for, but inconsequential if you don't find them. I'm also Canadian, so Canadian terms are probably used everywhere without my knowledge.
> 
> This fic is based loosely on a book/movie, but I'm not going to say which because some of the major beats are the same and I don't want to spoil it for you guys. I'll reveal it after the story is complete, but personally, I think it's really obvious from the start and will be glaringly obvious at the end of chapter 18 for those who know the story. But I'm also the one who wrote this, so that's me. I will be curious though to know if you can guess which book/movie!
> 
>  **WARNING** : This fic will deal with some heavy content. Triggers and heavy content warnings will be given at the beginning of relevant chapters. I will do my best to deal with these situations with due care, but I am far from being a professional. If you'd like to know specifically what tags are associated with these triggers ahead of time, please roll your mouse over the following SPOILER-Y TAGS WARNING text. These will give you insight on what will happen in the fic, but won't spoil you too bad. Please check them out if certain types of angst are simply not your thing.
> 
>   
>  !  
>    
>  **SPOILER-Y TAGS WITHIN!**   
>   
>  !  
> 
> 
> With that, let's get this show on the road. See you again in future notes! Please kudos and comment!

_High on life_. That was how Jaime Lannister would describe his university years. A thrilling, fast paced frenzy where he was just hazy enough all of the way through to convince himself that he was truly happy. At least, that was how he would describe _most_ of his university experience. He hadn’t known it would all change in his fourth year.

Jaime had managed to get good enough marks in high school to get into the same university as Cersei, his _soulmate_ , and had a pack of friends that just _got_ him never mind that one of them was sodding Robert Baratheon, who his lovely, beautiful, twin sister insisted on fucking dating. But that was neither here nor there. She didn’t _love_ the drunken bastard. Cersei was just using shitty Robert as a cover so _they_ could be together and no one would be none the wiser. When university was over, Jaime could finally whisk Cersei away to a place no one needed to know they were brother and sister and they could just _be_. Be like it was always meant to be. Nobody else mattered.

Eat, drink, fuck his sister, sleep, play basketball, maybe study, and then do it all again. That was Jaime’s life and it had worked well for him so far.

So at the beginning of fourth year, when the new recruits for the basketball team were chosen and they stuffed them all into a couple cars and vans to cart them to the initiation location with a gaggle of girls from the cheer squad like they had done every other year, like Jaime had done in his first year, he had just thought it would be another _again_.

“We call it fight or flight!” Addam shouted over the gathered crowd of new players and old. The girls piled on the hoods of the parked cars tittered and Jaime shot Cersei a smirk with a cigarette billowing smoke from between his lips. She covertly returned the smirk with a flip of her hair and a brush of her nails down his arm as he took a long, slow drag before taking the cigarette between his middle and pointer fingers and flicking the ash onto Robert’s van. She plucked the smoke from his hold and took a puff of her own, Jaime couldn’t stop staring at her lips, before she held it back out for him to take. Cersei’s touch was a promise of what they would be doing later that night and Jaime was already excited at the prospect. “You can either choose to jump into the lake from the tower—“

“But it’s cold…” one of the new kids protested weakly.

“Suck it up you little bitch or choose fight,” Euron snapped with pupils so blown, it was a wonder how he had managed to drive himself and a group of the teens to the lake. Euron testily waved for Gregor Clegane to come over from where the man had been re-securing the gate with the huge metal “No Trespassers” sign half falling off of it. Even Jaime still shifted uncomfortably at Gregor’s hulking presence as the large man shoved his way through the crowd to get to where Euron was standing. Gregor usually wasn’t around for the rest of the year, but _always_ showed up for initiations. The only thing the man cared about was letting some blood. “If you choose fight, all you gotta do is take one or two hits from the famous Mountain himself.”

The new kids immediately burst into worried chatter as they wondered what the hell they had gotten themselves into when Oberyn slithered out of the back seat of one of the cars where he had been fucking one… no, two, of the cheer girls with a gleaming grin and his cock practically still half out, “You can always try to hit the Mountain first. I did when I chose fight.” Jaime watched as Ellaria and Asha climbed over each other to peer out of the back seat with mounting interest, not caring that half their clothes were still on the floor.

And then it was Jaime’s turn as he sauntered up from behind the crowd tossing the remains of his cigarette on the ground and putting it out with a grind of his shoe, “And I’ll jump with the pussies that would rather fly.”

The initiates still fussed, but they sounded a bit less worried now and one even stepped forward, “I’ll fight.”

“That’s right you will Gendry,” Robert roared eagerly as he slammed his palm into his cousin’s back, “Baratheon men always fight.” Robert’s other hand held a half drained mickey, which he was now shoving into his cousin’s mouth. Gendry did not look pleased. Jaime gritted his teeth as Robert couldn’t give less of a shit about how his cousin was letting the cheap whiskey spill down his front and made eyes at a group of girls perched on Jaime’s red convertible, none of which were Cersei.

As always, there were a larger number of people who chose to fight, lured into the pit of vipers by Oberyn’s stupid story where he failed to mention that he had brought a knife to stab the Mountain with and no one cared enough to add that fact in. A fight was better to watch than a flight after all. The more sensible kids chose flight despite being called cowards for doing so and Jaime divested his shirt, flexing obnoxiously for Cersei’s benefit, but the other girls admired him too if the increase in high-pitched noise was anything to go by. Jaime grinned; he worked for his body and was proud of it. He knew Cersei loved it too.

Jaime marched up the old steps of the tower with three new recruits. The kid who was worried about the cold, Podrick, was among the trio, along with a boy named Bran and another named Jojen.

When they got to the top, Jaime instructed the boys to stretch and then run on the spot to increase their body temperature, because the water _was_ cold. While the kids psyched themselves up, Jaime peered over the side of the platform to make sure there were no new obstructions in the lake from when he had checked on his own the day before, the reason why he was _always_ was the one who flew with the kids even though that meant that he would miss most of the fun, and grunted when he saw there was none.

Down below, Jaime could hear the cheerleaders as they all sighed, cried, cooed, and gasped as the stupider of the new kids took a deserved beating from the Mountain. A great deal of the initiates looked black and blue even from where Jaime stood; a lot of them wouldn’t be back he knew. “We’ll jump in pairs,” Jaime said, bored to shit, “One kid goes right, and the other one goes left. That way you won’t bloody crash into each other on the way down. Don’t fucking belly flop unless you want to knock yourself out and drown.”

Jaime had planned to go first with the most nervous kid, show them that anyone could do it and make it out alive. It was what he had done in the previous two years and the other initiates had come out more than fine, plus when Cersei watched him make that initial leap she always dug her nails in deeper so there was mainly that. But before Jaime was able to detail out his plan, both Jojen and Podrick ran screaming off the side of the platform and had splashed into the water down below. Jaime watched annoyed as the two boys swam to shore and then pulled themselves up and out of the frigid lake to be wrapped in towels Bronn had at the ready. Jaime frowned as he realized the guys on the team were now laughing at him. That really wouldn’t do.

Bran, a great deal smaller than both of the other two, quivered as he looked over the side of the tower. “I don’t know why I’m afraid,” he said under his breath in explanation as he looked at Jaime from the corner of his eye, “I love rock climbing, heights don’t usually bother me.”

Jaime shrugged as he approached the platform edge and tried to discern what his team was fucking saying about him, “Fear of heights is different than the fear of fucking falling kid. When you rock climb you’re either just a few feet from a crash pad or knotted a million times over into a pulley system. You’re never actually falling when you let go.”

Bran seemed to take his words to heart and nodded resolute. But he still hesitated at the edge. Jaime looked over to the shore again to see a bunch of his teammates jeering at him and Robert pushing Cersei up against Jaime’s red convertible with his hand firmly hooked onto her thigh and her leg firmly latched around his hip. _Was the fucking heathen trying to fuck his twin in front of a whole crowd of people?_

Jaime growled low in his throat and noticed his other teammates motioning their arms, trying to indicate what he should do. Jaime rolled his eyes, decided that he needed to stop wasting time, and smirked. Moving back just an inch, Jaime pushed Bran the last measure, and planned to shout “don’t belly flop!” as the kid went down. But the kid was small, and a lot lighter than Jaime had expected. He over extended his reach and fell down with the kid too. Fell right on top of him.

“Shit!” Jaime shouted as he careened with Bran in the air, who screamed in pain and fright. The collision sent them noth somewhat off course, but at least it had split them apart. Before Jaime hit the water, he twisted his body so that his chest wouldn’t take the full hit of the fall. He registered red and blue flashing lights in the distance and the sound of sirens beginning to echo before the water engulfed him.

Jaime surfaced with an odd sensation running up his right arm. Addam frantically waved at him from shore and gestured frantically to Jaime’s left. Behind him Robert was throwing Cersei and some of the other girls into his van and the rest were piling into the cars with Oberyn and Bronn at the wheels. Jaime treaded quickly to turn, the adrenaline keeping what ever was going on with his arm at bay, and saw what Addam was trying to tell him. Bran had belly flopped and was lying still on the water surface.

Snarling in desperation, Jaime made a few quick strokes to get to the kid’s side, flipped him so that his face was out of the water, and then hulled him to shore with his left arm because his right was definitely not alright.

By the time he got to land, Bronn had already ripped out of the lot and through the gate and everyone else, including Addam, had been packed up back into the vans and they were all speeding off without him and Bran. Jaime’s convertible was still there though.

But it was too late. The police had already arrived and were crossing the mangled fence that the vans had driven right through to make their escape.

And with Bran unconscious by his side, his arm obviously broken, and his friends deserted, there wasn’t anything else Jaime could have done but waited for the cops to come get him anyways.


	2. Brienne the Beauty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jaime gets his punishment and thinks he's noticing Brienne for the first time in years despite the fact that he internally monologues about how much he remembers about her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a fun fact, this story went through about three title changes until I finally settled on this one. First it was called "Like a Comet", and then "Light Carries on Endlessly", and finally "If Truth is North, Then I am True South". All of them still have meaning, but the current title just means so much more. But as you can also probably guess, the Jaime/Brienne dynamic and fandom introduced me to Sleeping at Last. No regrets.
> 
> Let's get on with the show!
> 
> P.S. I got too excited about posting this, so my 2-3 day posting range is now 1-3 days haha.

Jaime was pretty sure that if the Starks’ had been able, they would have hung him from the nearest tree. Catelyn Stark, beautiful and fierce, was certainly two steps away from ripping him apart limb by limb with her teeth in front of his whole family if she so got the chance.

He couldn’t decide if it was deserved or unfair. He hadn’t been the only one involved and hadn’t even been the one to come up with the stupid idea in the first place. The circumstances of the situation didn’t matter though, it had been his hand that had sent the kid over the edge, it had been him they had found beside Bran’s broken body, and it was a miracle that the boy had come out of the fall with only two broken legs. Jaime hadn’t even tried to make excuses other than the ones his lawyers had told him to make to keep him out of jail. There was no point in throwing his team under the bus and he definitely wasn’t going to accidentally somehow incriminate Cersei.

However, it was obvious to everyone and their giant wolf-dogs that it hadn’t just been him alone that had caused this mess. For one, he hadn’t had a drop of alcohol in his blood and there had been bottles and cans of booze littered everywhere around his car, and although Jaime had access to numerous vehicles on account of being a Lannister, he was hardly able to drive four at once, much less crash through a fence and then teleport himself back to the side of the lake. And so with those obvious observations, the lack of witnesses, Bran’s weird unwillingness to give an official statement, and a team of lawyers that could only be provided by Tywin Lannister’s money, Jaime had practically gotten away scot-free.

Almost.

Catelyn had managed to wrangle some punishment for him through the pipeline of the university administration and it almost seemed like she was enjoying this punishment more than she would have enjoyed having Jaime locked up in jail where his dad would surely buy him special treatment anyways.

He was banned from the basketball team, shit but not a big deal considering he couldn’t play with a broken arm for half the season anyways, but he also had to do at least four hours of community service every damn week, tutor first years for at least two, and involve himself in his department’s Winter Semester Fair. The Classics Department’s Winter Semester Fair. He would have to put on a fucking, shitty costume and act like one of those bloody idiotic heroes who were stupid enough to challenge a fucking _god_ in front of a whole entire audience of people who would definitely include his bastard friends whom would definitely mock him for the rest of his life. The look on Jaime’s face when the gavel had come down must have fed Catelyn’s need for some sort of retribution for days. She had probably bugged him just to hear the derision of his friends, never mind that she was a fully-grown and supposedly sensible woman.

Jaime groaned as he made his way to the gym. He was banned from the team, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t shoot the shit with his friends and shooting the shit was what he wanted to do at that very second in time.

When he arrived at the court during practice hours, Jaime saw that none of the new initiates remained. The team would suffer for it in years down the line, but for now the old players thought it was the best thing that had happened since crack cocaine.

The first to notice him was, of course, Addam. “Jaime!” his friend called as he made his way off the court.

“Watch the fucking cast Marbrand,” Jaime jested as his childhood friend swept him in to a bear hug. They hadn’t gone to school together, but their families were close and Jaime had spent a good part of his childhood in Addam’s basement shooting terrorists and hunting aliens.

“How much shit did the Starks give you?” Bronn asked as he wiped sweat from his face with an old, unwashed towel.

Jaime scowled, “Enough to fuck up my last year.”

A basketball zoomed past Jaime’s right ear, only a hair away from hitting him in the face and rebounded off the wall behind him. “You’re going to have to tell us and the girls all about it,” Robert grinned as he sauntered over and grabbed the basketball off the floor.

Jaime glowered at the dark haired man. Cersei had been staying over at his place since Jaime had broken his right arm. He hadn’t seen her more than in passing since that gods-forsaken night.

The bell whistled, calling the players back to practice and Jaime slipped his headphones into his ears and closed his eyes, listening to the low drone of voices screaming an intricate tale of anger and vengeance.

At the end of practice, a bunch of the cheer girls flooded into the sports hall with Cersei at the helm. Jaime breathed out a gentle sigh at the sight of her as she turned her beautiful emerald eyes to him. She swept over to his side and loudly asked, “Jaime, are you okay?” Her hands brushed down his neck, over his shoulders, down his biceps, and then they both stopped abruptly in the middle of his forearms where his cast was, even though only his right arm was broken. She coughed and backed away from him, still all alluring, cherry lipped smiles.

He reached out to her and took her hand with his left, “I’m good.”

Cersei nodded, her golden hair falling in front of her face, “Good.” She took back her hand as Robert marched up to them.

Jaime scowled darkly as Robert wrapped his arm around Cersei’s waist and practically ate Cersei’s face. The man was a grotesque bastard that knew nothing of the way his twin loved to be pleasured. It was always all about him with Robert.

Jaime found himself at Margaery Tyrell’s side, glowering at Robert’s back and the hand he had clasped onto Cersei’s ass, as they exited the basketball court and made their way through the halls in order to get outside and to the nearest pub. At the front of the group, there was suddenly a ruckus as a couple of the guys and girls began to laugh and jeer. “Well if it isn’t the maiden fair!” Robert called out to a figure seated alone at a table against the glass windows over looking the sports hall.

“Don’t you mean the bear?” Bronn groused.

Brienne simply shifted her eyes and ran her gaze down the line of them before she rolled them and went back to watching the athletes still practicing down below. “Too stupid to speak?” Ellaria asked with an innocent tilt of her head.

Brienne continued to ignore them.

Margaery giggled beside Jaime and pulled on his arm to get him to lean down so she could whisper in his ear, “She had a crush on Renly you know?”

“Your brother’s boyfriend? The one with rainbows shooting out of his ass? Aren’t they friends?” Jaime recalled seeing glimpses of Brienne and Renly laughing together in high school halls.

Margaery tittered, her eyes shining in delight, “Loras told me it’s because Renly said one nice thing to her _once_ and she was all his. If Renly was into bulky men, she might have even had a chance. But now she’s just in the friend-zone.”

Jaime laughed despite himself, because well… it was true. Brienne could and had easily been mistaken for a man at first glance. She had been mistaken for one all of their junior high and high school years when she had been on nearly every single one of the school and intramural woman’s sports teams and had even been mistaken for a boy when they were in elementary and she had still worn dresses. She had stopped participating in all of those teams though when she had started attending King’s Landing University and instead of taking Kinesiology like everyone had expected her to, she had taken Classics too.

If the talk from other Riverland High graduates could be believed the sudden and unexpected change was because she was trying to have a “University Debut”. She was trying to pretend, for those that didn’t already know her, that she was a lady who was into girly things so that someone would finally want to date her. It made some sense. She had lost some weight, therefore gaining more of a curve around the waist, her hair was now longer, past shoulder length and almost luscious rather than unevenly cropped, she wore a bit of make up, giving colour to her pale complexion, and her casual frumpy clothes, which had obviously been thrown together over time and team events had been swapped out for a cohesive wardrobe that actually seemed to flatter her the best clothing could possibly flatter a hulking woman. Her clothes were still not very feminine though; they were distinctly masculine and Jaime was pretty sure that some pieces were straight up from the men’s aisles.

However, the gossip didn’t _quite_ fit the bill. Because at Riverlands High, Brienne had talked to a lot more people, considering all the teams she had been on, and actually interacted with more guys, since they were always willing to get tips from her because they were often _made_ aware of her skill after she usually smashed one of them into the ground. None of them were into her per say, and no more of them were her friends, but talking to people usually helped with landing a date.

And as far as Jaime knew, in her three years at KLU, Brienne Tarth hadn’t landed a single date. Here, Jaime had only really ever seen her alone or with her close-knit group of friends that she had made before or in high school.

So as always, Brienne remained a conundrum of which Jaime paid little attention to even though he had a significant number of classes with her.

But, despite not drawing the attention she wanted to, she _did_ still draw attention. “Oi Brienne the Beauty! Flash those pearly whites at me,” Euron called to her as he gestured obscenely at his pelvis, “Those fat lips would probably look great around my cock if I could stomach having your face so close.”

“Your cock is so small that my lips would have to be sealed tight to even feel it,” Brienne shot back angrily as a scowl marred her features. That surprised Jaime somewhat. Brienne had always been outgoing when it came to sport, but off of the field/court/track/range/rink she had always been more quiet, shy, and unassuming. It was why she was just never on his radar. After a second Brienne's face fell and then flushed as she seemed to internally berate herself. That expression Jaime _did_ recognize from their childhood in school together.

“Oh the beast has fangs,” Oberyn said with a lick of his lips, “I like a feisty woman. It’s been a while since I’ve had a challenge.”

Brienne grimaced, obviously annoyed that she had risen to the bait and had gotten herself more involved than she had intended. Looking longingly through the glass and at the sports hall one last time she marched off into the gym, the opposite direction of where they were going.

“I wonder what poor boy she has her sights on,” Cersei laughed as she draped herself all over Robert, “I hope he’s prepared to be crushed by that great cow.”

“He’d have to agree to be under her first,” Robert sneered. Everyone laughed, including Jaime. Brienne _would_ be able to crush anyone with those long legs and muscled thighs.


	3. Cruel and Unusual Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Catelyn is trying to slowly burn Jaime at the stake and Brienne keeps swooping in to douse the fire.

The narrator. They wanted him, _Catelyn Stark had recommended for him_ , to be the fucking narrator in the Classics Department’s Winter Semester Fair showcase and they had given him a giant script to _read_ and memorize. The memorization part, easy. He could memorize like a champ, but reading the original screenplay in order to memorize it… well…

That was something he liked to keep under wraps. Because his father demanded he keep it under wraps. And he felt like he _had_ to keep it under wraps.

So he was fucked.

Catelyn Stark, wherever she was, was definitely cackling like an evil witch, because she had surely planned for this to happen. Jaime could strangle her for getting him in this situation. Did she even _know_ how badly she was screwing him over?

So Jaime sat in the meeting room until everyone else who was idiotic enough to _volunteer_ to participate in the Winter Semester Fair had left and then threw the damn script at the fucking wall because Catelyn Stark and everyone who was going to attend that damn showcase was going to think he was a fucking idiot. An imbecile. A moron. The _stupidest_ of the Lannisters.

That’s when he heard the sigh from outside the room and she popped her head back in. Quickly and without preamble, Brienne simply said, “If you want me to make a recording of the script for you to listen to, give me a shout,” and then she was gone.

And that was when Jaime remembered that it had been _Brienne_ who had first identified that he wasn’t stupid back in the fourth grade. His sister had called him a retard and his father was close to hitting him for perceived insolence, but Brienne had simply wrinkled her nose at him one day while she was paired with him during reading comprehension and had asked him if the letters jumbled up for him when he could barely get through a sentence without falling apart.

He told her they did and asked her if that wasn’t normal and she had shrugged saying, “What’s even normal? We’re all different in our own ways.” Maybe it was what she told herself every day when someone… everyone made fun of her appearance.

Everyone had their complexes. He thought he was stupid and she thought she was ugly.

His father had still refused to believe it, there was no way his son had a cognitive impairment, but Jaime, at least, finally understood what was going on and was able to do things to help himself even at the age of ten. He still wasn’t the smartest of the Lannisters, but he certainly wasn’t the stupidest.

Jaime dived out of his chair and grabbed the mangled script off of the floor and raced out of the room, “Oi wench!”

“Oh for Seven’s sake,” Brienne hissed as she turned around all bristling fire, “If you don’t want me to, there’s no need to insult—“

“I’m not insulting you.”

“So you just go around calling everyone wench?”

“I thought that you would have liked to have your womanhood acknowledged,” Jaime grinned.

Brienne’s eye twitched before she turned around on the balls of her feet and continued on her way. He heard her mutter under her breath, “He’s nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys,” all angry and spitty.

“Wait! Wait! Fuck, wait. _Brienne_.”

Brienne stopped mid-stride and cursed at herself for stopping. She turned her face to the ceiling and asked the gods to give her enough patience to not kill Jaime Lannister in the next five minutes and then turned back around.

Jaime grunted and ran his hand unattached to his broken arm through his golden locks, looking just as irritated as she. “I’m really shit at asking for help.”

Brienne rolled her eyes and extended an olive branch, “You don’t need to ask for help. You didn’t even ask for help. I’m just offering to do something that would just so happen to benefit you.”

Jaime snorted and gave her a small smirk, “Gods, you haven’t changed a bit, have you Tarth?”

“And you even had my first name there for one second,” Brienne bit back. It was a lie. She had changed. Jaime had never seen this witty, snarky side of her before. But then again, he had never really seen her before.

Jaime smirked, “Well you’re just doing something that would just so happen to incidentally benefit me, so I don’t see a reason to go groveling… wench.”

“You’re infuriating!”

“I’ve been told.”

“Normally people say thank you in this kind of situation,” Brienne chastised and then paused, “Even if they didn’t ask for help.”

Jaime pursed his lips and then grinned, “Alright,” he mulled over his next words, “I’m giving you a shout, wench.”

Brienne almost decked him in the face, but nodded instead, her fist clenched and stomped off.

* * *

This was a living nightmare and Brienne Tarth was definitely co-conspiring with that fucking bitch, Catelyn Stark, to mock Jaime as much as possible. He had never told anyone and it was arguably Tywin’s best-kept secret, but Catelyn _had_ to know. There was no way she didn’t know with what Jaime had just discovered was tucked into that little folder.

“No one’s out to get you, you paranoid weirdo,” Brienne huffed as they waited for their assigned first year students to arrive.

“Switch with me,” Jaime demanded as he glared at his student’s portfolio willing it to set on fire.

“Are you serious? You’d rather tutor biology than English?”

“I don’t know any of these novels. They change the fucking curriculum every damn year. If they had given these stupid things out sooner I might have had something to say, but right now I’ll just be a shit show. I’ll be of zero help to whoever the poor sod is who is paired up with me. Switch with me for the sake of the poor first year wench.”

“But biology?”

Jaime rolled his eyes, “It’s fucking first year biology. That shit is all memorization. Give me your kid.”

“Gods, you sound like an evil sorceress demanding my first born in return for a favour and yet I’m the one doing _you_ all the favours,” Brienne muttered.

Jaime snorted in amusement and then pulled a surprised face at himself because, had he just laughed at a joke made by Brienne Tarth? He was definitely losing his cool.

Was this what Catelyn Stark had planned all along? For him to have to prostrate himself before someone else to survive? Had the actual witch accounted for the fact that Brienne had so far asked for fuck all in return? Elaborate scenarios began to dance behind Jaime’s eyes of how Catelyn and Brienne were going to royally screw him over. But then he shook them loose, noting that maybe he should cool it with the fantasy genre.

Brienne traded his file for her file and he nodded at her in appreciation. She gave him a quick run down of his student so he wouldn’t have to struggle through the report in not enough time. Jaime thought that he recognized the name of the kid, but before he could parse out who it was, the first years rolled in like a wave.

When Jaime had finally found his first year, the kid had looked at Jaime like a deer caught in the headlights. “Podrick Payne?” Jaime asked. It was the kid that had been worried about the cold water. Somehow, Jaime had removed himself from a bad scenario to a worse one. The kid looked ready to bolt. “Are you ready to get started kid?” Jaime asked quickly before Podrick could run for the hills.

Podrick nodded reluctantly and sat down beside Jaime as though he was going to the gallows. But as Jaime had known, first year biology hadn’t changed in the three years since he had taken it and since he had memorized everything, he didn’t have to hopelessly scan through the notes in order to help Podrick with his. It made him seem like a genius god to the kid and Jaime played the part well. Podrick even seemed excited to work with him again by the end of the two hour session.

Brienne, meanwhile, was absolutely livid with him after the tutoring session. “Did you know that they’re studying Twlight in some first year English courses now? Twilight? This is what it has come down to to get students to register in English courses!”

Jaime grinned at her wolfishly, “Hey, don’t judge wench. People will enjoy what they enjoy. No need to get uppity just because you like Homer and Virgil.”

“I do not like _Virgil_.”

“Uppity.”

“I’m not trading with you next time Lannister.”

“Of course not wench.”

* * *

This was the final straw. Catelyn Stark had planned this. The she-wolf had fucking _planned_ this and she definitely _knew_.

Jaime gritted his teeth, “What do you mean the only bloody available community service this week is restacking the shelves at the new library?”

The receptionist at the help desk quivered under his gaze, “I’m sorry Mr. Lannister but all of the other volunteer positions have already been filled up and since Harrenhal library has just been finished up and the volumes need to be moved…”

“Don’t worry about his temper Gilly. He’s more housecat than the lion he pretends to be.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Jaime grunted and just went for it and slammed his head against the receptionist’s desk.

“I don’t see how you think that’s going to help you,” Brienne said with a raised eyebrow and then shook her head at the receptionist while gesturing at him like a kid throwing a tantrum, “How many more people do you need this weekend for the library Gilly?”

“Um… maybe just one or two more,” the girl murmured, “It’ll take us the whole semester, but if we have too many people, everyone will just get in everyone else’s way.”

“You’re in my way,” Jaime growled and Gilly flinched.

“There, there,” Brienne said making the motion of patting his head without actually touching him before she reached out and took the key card that Gilly was nervously holding out. It allowed them access to the still closed off building over the weekend, “Put down Sansa as well. She said she wants to do more volunteering this year. I’ll take her keycard…” Brienne paused, “And his too. He’ll find his independence soon enough.”

“Fucking gods have no fucking—“

“And maybe a dictionary.”

“I need a drink.”

“Don’t we all,” Brienne agreed, “Oh right. I’ll have your recording for you by Monday. Make yourself findable.”

Jaime turned his head so that his cheek was pressed up against the cool surface rather than his forehead, “Whatever.”

Brienne rolled her eyes, “Oh, don’t be so enthused.”

“I don’t want to have to listen to your stupid voice more than I already do,” Jaime growled petulantly as he glared at Brienne. Gilly gestured vaguely at a paper that was under Jaime’s cheek, slowly absorbing his face oils, and Brienne ceremoniously ripped it out from under his skin, “Oi! You could have given me a fucking paper cut.”

“And you could have bled out on the floor and it would have been tragic,” Brienne said as she handed Gilly the document. Jaime noted the small frown on Brienne’s lips, “And don’t worry, I wouldn’t subject you to the horrors of my voice over extended periods of time.”

Jaime raised an eyebrow. Ah. Finally. The Brienne of his teenage years instead of the one that was constantly sassing him.

“Baratheon.”

“Fucking what?” Jaime roared.

Brienne rolled her eyes, “Renly Baratheon. And Loras Tyrell. His sister’s a bitch and so is Loras, kind of, but Renly and Loras both have nice voices, and Loras is less of a bitch now than he used to be, I guess,” Brienne mused before her voice turned dark, “Fuck like I’d ask Robert. I’d sooner ask Stannis and gods, like I’d ever ask Stannis.”

“Did you just swear? Thrice? Wait do they know?”

Brienne softened as she shook her head, “That’s not something I would tell them. Something like that is only yours to tell.”

Jaime scrunched up his nose as he nodded at her. “Renly and Loras do have nice voices.”

Brienne nodded.

“Maybe it has to do with being gay.”

“Oh yes because you’re gay.”

Jaime grinned a mega-watt grin, “Oh wench! So you like my voice.”

Brienne threw Jaime’s key card at his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was super excited to get to this chapter because of the start of the Jaime/Brienne dynamic. It only goes up from here! Kind of.
> 
> Jaime's dyslexia is definitely where I'm doing some Hollywood-style fudging because there's only so much I can understand from research. Jaime's dyslexia is on the more extreme end of the scale, but what sets him apart is his ability to memorize. In my research, I learnt that those with dyslexia usually, but not always, have a hard time memorizing too. Hopefully, I give Jaime's experience and emotions regarding his dyslexia a fair portrayal despite the fudging.
> 
> See you next note!


	4. State of Being

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein the women in Jaime's life perplex him and Brienne asks him not to do something and Jaime thinks _of course_ he's not going to do _that_.

Cersei let out a breathy sigh. The one he lived and breathed for. He laved open mouthed kisses down her neck and slid the tips of his fingers down the curve of her spine. She shuddered at his touch and pressed into him, the soft smooth skin of her breasts pressed up against the hard, corded muscles of his chest.

Jaime groaned as her hands slid down his bare torso and began to wrangle at the belt of his jeans. He reached up to take a fist full of her hair and his cast bumped into her shoulder. Abruptly her long tapered fingers stopped. She backed away from him and pulled her bra back over her chest and shirt back down over her stomach, “I think I hear someone coming.”

Jaime blinked wearily trying to gather his bearings as Cersei began gathering up all of her stuff and fixing her hair. “What? No one’s coming Cersei.”

“Well, I need to go.”

Jaime sighed as he readjusted his erection and slid his fingers through his hair, “What’s going on Cersei?”

She sighed loudly and dropped her purse to the ground, turning to him with an irritated gleam in her eyes, “It’s the cast okay? It’s a really big turn off.”

Jaime gave her a flat look as he felt himself instantly wilt, “A turn off.”

Cersei rolled her eyes to the side, “Yeah. It just keeps getting in the way and it’s big and bulky and it just reminds me that you…”

Jaime’s nostrils flared, “That I’m what?”

“That you’ve been kicked off the basketball team and can’t even shower without a bag on your arm. I mean it’s gross Jaime,” Cersei hissed gesturing vaguely at his right arm.

“You have got to be kidding me.”

“Well I’m not,” Cersei huffed, “Maybe after you get that thing taken off. I’ll text you.”

“You can wait that long?” Jaime asked incredulously ignoring the fact that she, once again, forgot he preferred phone calls.

Cersei sighed and moved back closer to him, the tips of her fingers skittering over his jaw, “Jaime… I’d wait forever for you.”

* * *

“Thanks for the ride man,” Jaime said as he leaned back in his seat, “I wouldn’t trust any of the other fuckers behind the wheel.”

Addam nodded in agreement, “Pretty sure Euron was high as a kite that night and Robert was obviously deep in his cups. Couldn’t even get it up for your twin.”

“Fucking hell,” Jaime hissed.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t want to see someone rutting like a pig on top of my sister either,” Addam said solemnly.

Jaime snorted absently as he thought back to his morning with Cersei. How was it that him in a cast was worse than Robert as he normally was? Why did she need to even date Robert as a cover anyways? Jaime wasn’t dating anyone, didn’t _want_ to date anyone else, and that arrangement was working out fine. Good-looking people could be single. Single was a perfectly acceptable state of being.

Addam’s car pulled up in front of the new library where several large trucks of books were parked out front. Addam raised an eyebrow, “Is that Brienne the Beauty?”

Jaime looked over and saw that Brienne was chatting with a smaller version of Catelyn Stark. God, it was like that woman was a ghost that would haunt him forever for crippling her child. When he put it like that though… maybe he did deserve each and every single one of these cruel slights that were being inflicted upon him. “Yeah, that’s Brienne.”

“Fuck, she’s uglier in sunlight.”

Jaime snorted in amusement, “You got that right.”

Even the autumn sun made her pale complexion turn pink and with the added makeup she now wore, for whatever reason, it made her a ridiculous shade of crimson and brought her freckles out in full force. The dry weather made her large lips crack and the shadows the sun casted over the sharp planes of her face made the breaks on the bridge of her nose stand out. “I was gonna wish you luck in getting laid between the stacks, but there’s danger here,” Addam laughed, “Don’t get crushed.”

“Thanks man. Be back here in four hours.”

“Uh huh.”

Jaime climbed out of the car, “Four hours. On the fucking dot.”

“Uh huh.”

“You’re a cunt, you know that.”

Addam grinned, “I do my best.”

Jaime flipped him the bird and slammed his door shut. Addam chuckled and sped off nearly clipping the side of one of the trucks. Immediately Brienne and little Catelyn turned his way. Oh, little Catelyn obviously already hated his guts.

“Jaime,” Brienne greeted as he sauntered over. Little Catelyn’s nostrils flared as though Brienne had committed the ultimate sin by even acknowledging his existence, “Jaime. Sansa. Sansa. Jaime. Don’t be alone with her. She’ll garrote you.”

“I always have thread in my purse,” Sansa hissed with narrowed eyes.

“Oh scary,” Jaime said as he held up his hands and wiggled his fingers, “Wait you know?”

Brienne rolled her eyes, “Of course I know. Everybody who knows you knows. It wasn’t exactly a secret that you nearly got incarcerated.” Jaime continued to stare at her incredulously wondering why the hell she had been so nice to him all this time if she had known that he had fucking _pushed_ a kid off the top of a tower. Brienne seemed to read his mind and shrugged, “Good people can do shitty things when they’re around shitty people.”

Brienne considered him _good people_? “You need to take care of that potty mouth wench.”

“Excuse me?” Sansa looked offended for Brienne while Brienne just looked at him like the loser he was for using the term ‘potty mouth’.

“It’s seriously no use,” Brienne said as she patted Sansa on the shoulder, “He’ll be an asshole until his dying day.”

“I can arrange for it to be today.” Sansa made the motions of wrapping thread around her palms and pulling it taught between clenched fists.

“You’re sounding like Arya.”

Sansa jolted at that, “I think that’s the first time anyone has ever said that.”

“Guess Jaime Lannister brings murderers together,” Brienne snorted in amusement as her eyes flicked over to him.

Jaime rolled his eyes, “Thanks. That’s exactly what I want my fucking legacy to be. I’m sure my father would be proud. Jaime Lannister, inspires people to murder.”

“Perfect then,” Brienne snickered, “Come on, let’s get these books inside.”

Jaime gathered up an armful of about ten encyclopedic sized volumes balanced precariously on his cast, Sansa picked up two, and Brienne gathered up seven. They walked into the library together.

When the majority of the books were piled in the lobby of Harrenhal library, Brienne opted to move to sorting with a bunch of the other volunteers while Jaime stayed on hard labour. He wasn’t going to give Catelyn Stark the easy satisfaction of him trying and failing to discern a row of small type numerical digits from one another, especially with her daughter lurking as a spy.

To Jaime’s surprise, Sansa demanded one more round of book moving despite Brienne’s suggestion that Sansa help with cataloging. Brienne held onto Sansa’s purse for her. Sansa looked noticeably upset that she wouldn’t have her thread on hand.

“Brienne has a good opinion of you,” Sansa stated as they exited the library. She kept herself a healthy arms length away from him.

“Only the gods know why,” Jaime muttered.

Sansa pressed her lips together as she glared at nothing, but then she shook her head. “So you don’t even have a good opinion of yourself.”

Jaime shrugged, “I as good as broke your brother’s legs with my bare hands and am a chronic asshole.”

“So you admit it.”

“Well it’s not like I’m going to deny it,” Jaime said.

Sansa pursed her lips as she picked up two books and he hulled up ten more, “You haven’t slacked off even though you don’t want to be here.”

“Are you just going to keep pointing out the obvious? Because this is getting tiresome,” Jaime snorted. Sansa gave him a dead look and Jaime huffed as they climbed back up the stairs, “Well, I’m here aren’t I? What’s the point in wasting my time and half assing it?”

Sansa wrinkled her nose again, shifted her gaze forward and then frowned so hard her whole entire face seemed to be marred with the expression. She then turned and glared at him, “Shit,” she cursed ridiculously loudly.

Jaime eyed her warily as he juggled the books on his cast and scanned his card at the door, “What?”

“I might see why Brienne likes you. Maybe. But only a bit. The smallest tiniest bit.”

“Excuse me?” His eyebrow shot into his hairline.

“You can like someone, but still want to kill them,” Sansa sneered.

Jaime looked at her as though she was crazy, “Right…”

“Maybe that’s why my mom hasn’t hired a hit on you… yet.”

Jaime rolled his eyes to the sky, “By the Seven.”

“She’d do it,” Sansa stated simply.

“I can imagine it,” Jaime muttered, “But a hit would be too easy, too fast for your mother.”

“You could be less of an ass.” Sansa dropped her books on the pile in the lobby.

“Couldn’t even if I tried.”

“Well try!” Sansa snapped before she rushed the rest of the way into the building to join Brienne with cataloging.

* * *

There were still thirty minutes remaining when the trucks were emptied out and Jaime cursed the high heavens until Brienne found him and led him deep into the stacks. And there he cursed the heavens even more because what the hell even _was_ she. She certainly wasn't human. No human was that good, that fucking nice. Especially to a twat like him. Brienne had organized a whole section of books, but hadn’t actually put them on the shelves yet. Each of the sections were neatly stacked on a table, the numbers properly ordered, “Who the hell does it like this?” Jaime asked as he glared at the simple task that she had left him _not_ to struggle with.

“I do!” Brienne snapped not even looking up from her continuing endeavour.

And so once again Jaime wasn’t left flailing as he hoisted the books onto the shelves, his headphones in his ears, blatantly ignoring the woman who had just done something inexplicably kind for him, while Brienne listened to whatever she listened to while she continued to sort through a bunch of books on a table instead of on the shelves like a normal person would.

At the end of the day, while he waited outside of the library for Addam and Brienne sat on the stone steps by his side in a fairly comfortable silence although her jeep was right _there_ , he felt like he needed to say it. “Thank you.”

Brienne snorted with laughter as she looked at him with amused, blue eyes, “Don’t go falling in love with me now Jaime Lannister.”

“No offense wench, but that’s not going to be a problem.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's what you think Jaime.


	5. Oceans are Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jaime is already epically failing in doing the thing Brienne told him not to do, but he doesn't even know it yet.

“Give me your email so I can send you the recording,” Brienne said after the second Winter Semester Fair meeting. Jaime scribbled his address for her on her notebook haphazardly with his left hand and although she had to squint, tilt her book a little, and confirm with him what he had written, she had managed to read it correctly on the first go. Or rather, he had managed to write it properly on his first go.

“So what are you doing now?” Jaime asked as he pulled on his jacket and wrestled with the sleeve over his cast.

Brienne shrugged, “Probably just going to read until some of my friends get out of their classes.”

“Gods, you’re boring.”

“To each their own.”

He wanted to ask her why she didn’t play any sports anymore, but he felt that she would have the same answer for him. He asked anyways, “Why don’t you play soccer, volley ball, lacrosse, hockey, anything anymore?”

Brienne looked at him right in the eye and then shrugged after a moment, an unrecognizable glint in her eye, “Things changed after we finished high school, I had to reorganize my priorities and sports happened to not be on top anymore. Maybe they will be again… someday.”

It was as good of an answer as he was going to get. It made sense. It was a good in between concerning the talk that surrounded her. So he accepted it. He ended up following her outside to a secluded courtyard with a couple benches and sat beside her as she pulled out a book, The Epic of Gilgamesh. If she was surprised that he was joining her, she wasn’t letting it on.

The look that Brienne gave him when he pulled out his pack of cigarettes from the pocket of his overly large bomber jacket was utterly flat. “Gods, you still smoke in this day and age?”

Jaime grinned at her as he shifted one of the rolls out of the packet with the tip of his thumb, “Going to tell me I should quit wench?”

Brienne rolled her eyes as she turned back to her book, “I’m not going to tell you to do anything. It’s your choice to coat your lungs in tar. They even have a picture on the pack for your reference if you want to know what you’re doing to yourself.”

Jaime quirked an eyebrow, as he stuffed the butt between his teeth and dug around in his pockets for his lighter, “You’re seriously not going to stop me?” He stood up and dug in the back pocket of his jeans where his fingers finally slid against cool metal.

Brienne shook her head, “No.”

“Brienne Tarth, full of surprises,” Jaime grinned before he transferred the hold of his cigarette from his teeth to his lips and held his lighter up to the end of his smoke. His thumb curled over the flint wheel, the metal scraped loudly as he tried to block the autumn wind with his cast. He grunted in frustration. The wick wouldn’t catch long enough for the tobacco and paper to burn.

Suddenly, there were two hands in front of his face and Brienne was ridiculously close. Her book laid face down and open on the bench. “Of course you would have a fancy gold zippo,” she snorted as she nodded her head at him to try again. Her eyes narrowed as she noticed the etchings on the gold casing, _To the Best Lannister from the Smartest Lannister. Congratulations on Graduating._ “By the Seven, of course it’s even engraved.” Jaime couldn’t help but chomp his teeth down on the filter as her astonishing blue eyes, _had they always been that blue?_ , shifted between him and his still unlit lighter, “Well, get on with it. I’m not going to stand here all day.”

Jaime nodded absently as he flicked the wheel again. The orange flame burst to life, her pupils narrowed to pin pricks, and light reflected as sparks in the oceans of her eyes. Jaime realized he was holding his breath as his cigarette caught. The moment smoke started to billow out from the tip, Brienne backed away and went back to sitting on the bench with her book as though she hadn’t just rocked his world to the very core. Jaime let out a light cough to pull himself back together. _Was that how it felt to drown and be happy while doing it?_ He felt like he needed to say something, even the blaringly obvious, “You’re not even going to chase me away.”

Brienne shrugged, “I don’t care.”

“Seriously?”

Brienne huffed as she slammed her book shut realizing that he wasn’t going to stop annoying her, “I’m not here to change you Jaime. No one can make you quit unless you want to quit.” Jaime blinked at her slowly as she stared at him with irritation. All the gears in his head started whirring again all at once as he removed the cigarette from his mouth and stubbed it on the old, oak bench. “What the hell are you doing? That’s public property!” Brienne hissed.

“Oh whatever,” Jaime muttered as he stuffed his barely used cigarette back into the half empty pack.

“What are you doing now?” Brienne asked incredulously as he sat down and stuffed both his zippo and the pack back into his jacket pockets.

“I’m quitting.”

Her eyes swivelled up to look at his face, “What?”

“I’m quitting and you’re going to help me wench.” She gaped up at him, obviously speechless. Jaime grinned as her as he twisted himself on the bench so that his feet came up onto the seat, his knees bent and his head fell gracelessly onto her lap. “And what I need to fucking quit is for someone to distract me.”

“Excuse me?” Brienne hissed as she whapped him softly on the nose with her book.

Jaime grinned up at her. The sun was shining down from behind her, high in the sky, making her pale, straw locks light up like a halo and casting him in her large shadow. “So distract me.”

“I just told you I’m not making you quit!”

“You’re not _making_ me quit wench. I want to quit, and I’m asking for your help to quit. So help me.”

“Is this how you ask everyone for favours? Is _this_ why you never ask for help?”

“I don’t _know_ how to ask for help, but it seems to be working pretty damn well on you.”

Brienne’s face twisted and Jaime laughed as a string of expletives quietly spilled from her lips. “Language Tarth.”

“Fuck you Lannister.”

“I’m scandalized,” Jaime drawled.

Brienne seemed to grit her teeth for a moment more before she leaned back on the bench resigned, “Alright, what could I do to distract you?”

“Ah, what a good soul.”

“I could dump you on the ground right now.”

“But you won’t, because I’m asking you for your help,” Jaime chuckled as Brienne made the motions of wanting to rip out all her hair, “All right. Just… I don’t know… read your lame ass book to me.”

Brienne looked down at him again, “What?”

Jaime shifted his head on her thighs to get more comfortable, “Read to me.”

“I thought you hated reading,” Brienne mumbled.

Jaime rolled his eyes, “I don’t hate reading. I’m just shit at it. There’s a difference. Who doesn’t like stories? No one reads them to you as an adult anymore.”

Brienne pressed her lips together in a thin line as though in deep thought. “You know, another thing that’s available in this day and age are audiobooks.”

Jaime shrugged, “My phone’s full of them, and I have a couple subscriptions, but it’s not the same. You can’t interact with an audiobook and it’s hard to re-listen to lines and passages that you like sporadically.” Brienne’s eyebrows nearly shot into her hairline. “What did you think I was listening to all the time during all of high school and university? At the library?” Brienne gave him a blank stare. “The audio tracks of hard core porn?”

“NO!” Brienne shouted before she covered her mouth and looked around to see if anyone was staring. Luckily they had secluded themselves in a practically abandoned section of campus and there weren’t that many people around. Some people had turned, and one person was staring, but more at the fact that Jaime, a practical god amongst men, was lying on her, a giantess’s, lap rather than at her outburst. Jaime thanked his lucky stars that none of the people around knew who he was. “Gods,” Brienne muttered as a flush rushed up from below her collar to cover her neck and then her cheeks. “Just… I don’t know. Music. I wasn’t thinking anything bad, just not… audiobooks.”

Jaime grinned, “So read your book to me and indulge me when I tell you to go and re-read some lines or paragraphs.”

Brienne seemed to have gone back to thinking, “Is this why you’re in the Classics Department?”

“Yes and no. Classics has more reading and less writing, both of which appeal to me. Classics professors tend to like to read out loud too, so that’s a bonus. But those aren't the only reasons.”

“Huh,” Brienne muttered under her breath as though she had just discovered something unbelievably precious.

“Out with it wench, why did you think I chose Classics?”

Brienne shifted uneasily under and over him as she looked away a bit embarrassed now. Under her breath, but still loud enough for him to hear she murmured, “I thought you just liked swords and stuff.”

Jaime snorted at that, “That’s like joining a sports team because you like rules and regulations.”

“Guess we’re surprising each other today,” Brienne muttered as she re-opened her book and smoothed out the pages she was on.

“I’m only surprising you because you think I’m a hack.”

“Well, I only surprised you because you think I like to go around changing people.”

Jaime chuckled, “Touché.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the constant changes to the summary. I'm just unhappy with it and need to keep playing around until I'm happy haha. Hopefully this will be the last change, we'll see.
> 
> The scene here with Brienne helping Jaime light his cigarette was one of the first scenes that I wrote in its entirety for this fic. It is probably still one of my favourite scenes in the story.
> 
> The Epic of Gilgamesh is a very, very old and famous Mesopotamian poem about Gilgamesh, a king who is not a very good person, who meets a man name Enkidu who is sent to challenge Gilgamesh but instead becomes his friend. Together, they go on an adventure where Gilgamesh becomes a better person through his friendship with Enkidu. However, the first half of the poem ends with the death of Enkidu, sending Gilgamesh into a spiral where he tries and fails to reclaim Enkidu from the Underworld, questions his mortality, and then goes to seek the secret of eternal life. He eventually learns to accept that he will someday die after many trials and tribulations. A much more comprehensive and better summary of the epic can be found [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWppk7-Mti4). Take from it what you will (especially part one lol).


	6. Things We Leave Unsaid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jaime wants to hang out with Brienne, finds out why she lets him, and subsequently fucks up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have edited my opening notes in Chapter 1, but I also want to thank Victoriel for the lovely banner that will now be opening each chapter! I am absolutely delighted by it.

Jaime transferred the file in his email to his phone that night and immediately began listening to it. The script was definitely simplified, made for an audience in and out of the Classics Department, but it wasn’t overly romanticized and covered a great deal more content than Jaime originally thought could be covered in a one hour showcase. He never would have been able to pick his way through the paper script and learn the lines by himself, but Renly and Loras were slowly but steadily getting him there line by line with animated readings that they had turned more into a conversation than what was supposed to be Jaime’s monologue.

The next week, after the meeting, he met up with Brienne in the courtyard again, where he put away his phone and put his head in her lap and didn’t smoke for another day as she read to him The Princess Bride.

About ten minutes in, she began to run her hand through his hair and he wondered if she even realized she was doing it. But it was nice so he didn’t say a word and he almost fell asleep in her lap.

After an hour of listening to the sound of her voice and demanding a re-read of a passage here and there, Jaime sat up again and stretched like a cat. Brienne quirked an eyebrow, “Enjoyed yourself there?”

Jaime hummed, “Quite.”

Brienne snorted, “Alright, shoot. What the hell are you doing here? Isn’t this a bore?”

Jaime chuckled, “Maybe I just like spending time with you wench.”

“That’s hard to believe.”

“Really? It’s hard to believe that I might like spending time with a person who freely helps people all the damn time out of the goodness of their heart?”

Brienne shrugged, “Yeah.”

“Alright, shoot. Why do you fucking let me? Hang out with you that is.”

Brienne laughed and leaned back in her seat, “It’s just one of the things I told myself I would try to do.”

“You’re going to need to clarify wench.”

Brienne rolled her eyes, “When I reorganized my priorities I made a list of things I wanted to try to do to… I don’t know… to be better, to have fun? I guess? Or just things I would have liked to do no matter how stupid and impossible.”

Jaime snorted as he stuffed his hands into his empty jacket pockets, “Be better? You’re already pretty good.”

Brienne seemed like she wanted to laugh, but held it in, “Thanks. But everyone can be better and better doesn't necessarily mean good.”

“Alright. So you wanted to be better. What does that have to do with letting me spend time with you?”

Brienne gave him a wry smile and sighed, “You’re just going to laugh at me.”

“I’ll be honest,” he flashed her his pearly whites, “I probably will.”

“Thanks for your honesty.”

“No problem wench.”

“Alright,” Brienne mustered as she took in a deep breath, “You were really nice to me when we were kids. You might not remember it, but I do and I’ve always wanted to get to know you better because of it. Never got the chance in junior high school… high school… most of university so I guess when I got the chance after that first meeting for the Winter Fair… well, I just took it.”

Jaime blinked as he stared at her. He searched his memory, and although Brienne Tarth had been around for practically all of his life, she was always just a vague concept in the background, “You’re right. I don’t remember it.”

“Kids can be shitty. You were a bit of a shit too, but not in the way they were. You jumped in front of me once, to stop a verbal assault with some choice words of your own. You ended up getting in more trouble than they did because a kid in grade four shouldn’t have known cuss words like that. I never forgot it.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Gods, I _am_ a hero.”

Brienne’s eyes rolled to the sky, “I shouldn’t have told you.”

Jaime’s laughter echoed in the courtyard, “Probably not.”

* * *

Brienne had to wake him up the week after, because he had fallen asleep with his head cushioned on her lap. She had been reading to him The Odyssey of all things. Everyone in the fucking Classics department knew The Odyssey, why Brienne read it in her free time was beyond him and so he had fallen asleep. It _was_ because he already knew The Odyssey and thought it was boring, not a cool adventure where he wished the protagonist hadn't been such a scumbag. His falling asleep had nothing to do with how comfortable he had been with his head pillowed on her lap with her hand in his hair.

Immediately after he woke, the question came to him. “What else did you tell yourself you wanted to try to do wench? To somehow be better… and for fun.”

Brienne raised an eyebrow as she processed what he was asking, “You want to hear this?”

“Call me curious.”

Brienne’s lips twisted as she ruminated over her thoughts, probably picking and choosing between the ones she was okay with telling him and the ones she wanted to keep to herself. He knew about keeping some things to yourself. “I have always wanted to go to Tarth, the island where my ancestors hail from. While I’m there, I would like to swim in the oceans, find a sea cave, maybe a mermaid,” Brienne laughed before going back to reality, “I also want to hold a Valyrian steel sword. There’s not many left.”

“And you made fun of me for liking swords.”

“You can like swords, you just need to like the stories and the history too.”

Jaime chuckled, “Well we have that in common wench.”

Brienne nodded with a smile and then her eyes glittered as though she were far away, “I’ve always wanted to bring the stars down from the sky, just for a night. But that’s more of a child’s wild imaginings than something that is actually on my list.”

“Fucking poetic though,” Jaime mused.

Brienne snorted obviously surprised he hadn’t outright laughed at her, “I suppose.”

“Are those the things at the top of your list?”

Brienne shook her head, “No, but those things are mine to keep.”

Jaime nodded, “Alright.”

* * *

He was listening to the recording while waiting for his friends to finish practice when someone ripped out one of his ear buds. Jaime snarled as he watched Robert stuff the bud into his ear with a raised eyebrow, “Is that my fag brother and his fag boyfriend?” Jaime gritted his teeth as the other guys immediately started to circle like sharks, “The fuck you listening to my brother telling love stories for Lannister? You gay too?”

“Would explain why he hasn’t fucked all those girls making eyes at him,” Bronn said, “Make it public why don’t you? Spare us some of the ladies.”

“Give that back Robert you bastard,” Jaime growled and ripped his ear bud out of Robert’s grip. He would have to sanitize that later. “It’s for the stupid Fair thing, I need to memorize a bunch of fucking lines and I don’t want to be bothered reading it all off of a script.”

“So you went to my little brother and asked him to read it for you?” Robert asked with a raised eyebrow, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you talk to Renly in my life.”

“Fuck off, it’s none of your business.”

“It’s my family.”

“When have you ever cared about your shit family?”

“Since I found out you wanted to shag my little brother.”

“I don’t want to shag your little brother!” Jaime roared. _I want your girlfriend_ , he wanted to shout, _I want my soulmate, my twin. I want you to get your dirty, fat hands off of her and give her back._ Cersei hadn’t returned back to his apartment since their tryst and incident with the cast. She hadn’t called. She hadn’t even texted him once. Jaime had spent nights imagining Robert rutting over his sister with Addam’s voice narrating the whole scenario.

A light seemed to go off in Addam’s head, “Brienne. Brienne the Beauty is friends with Renly and you’ve had to spend time with her recently. It’s been what… three weeks at Harrenhal?”

“Gods, you’ve been wanting to shag Brienne the Beauty?” Euron asked absolutely delighted to take Jaime Lannister down a peg, “Renly is hell of a lot prettier.”

Jaime’s nostrils flared, “I do not want to shag that fucking wench.”

“Wench?” Oberyn grinned as he rubbed his hand over the fabric of his shorts, “Role play now? Doesn’t seem like she has the tits for that though.”

“Fuck sakes you assholes, I’d rather die than shag Brienne the Beauty,” Jaime snarled.

“Oh.” Six heads turned towards the gym doors as Brienne stood there with an unreadable expression on her face. At the silence Brienne rolled her eyes. “Like that’s something I haven’t heard before. See you.” And with that she was gone.

“Shit!” Jaime swore. Because she had done something, many things, that were really nice for him and had asked for nothing in return and he had just been a class act in assholery. “I’m going to be right back. I hope you rot in hell Robert.”

He ignored the jeers his friends threw his way as he chased after Brienne, his sneakers squeaking against the tiles as he rounded a corner, and found her already half way out of the gym, “Oi wench.” He grabbed her arm and swung around her to stop her progress out.

“My name is Brienne, but if you put ‘the Beauty’ after it then just call me Tarth,” she growled shaking her arm free of him and tried to push past him.

“I’m sorry alright?”

Brienne stopped suddenly and glared at him, “For what?”

Jaime paused and stared at her wide eyed, “What?”

“What are you sorry for Jaime? Saying you’d rather die than fuck me? I can imagine that being true. So what are you sorry for?”

“Just because it might be true doesn’t mean I had to say it.”

“Whatever.”

“Hey, it was just… I was just shooting the shit with the boys.”

“Oh. So you think I’d be cool with you making fun of me behind my back instead of to my face?”

Jaime winced, “That’s not…”

“As I said, whatever Jaime. I’ll see you at tutoring,” and with that Brienne swept past him and didn’t look back.

Jaime punched the wall with his good hand, “Fuck!”

* * *

He needed some comfort. He didn’t know what his relationship with Brienne was, but he knew he couldn’t talk to his fucking teammates about it, couldn’t talk to anyone about it really, but he could still get some comfort. Sure, Cersei wasn’t up for sex, but a cuddle and maybe a grope with his left hand was more than enough for now so he made his way to Cersei’s apartment.

That night Jaime walked in on Euron and Cersei fucking.

It had never been about a cover.

Not for him.

Not for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, when I say short lived incest, I really do mean short lived incest haha.
> 
> What is there to say about The Princess Bride other than... I don't really get it? I feel like I probably watched it too late in my life and the whole way through I was like... wtf? But it is cute... in a way? Or at least that's what my friends who love it tell me? And really, why not? It is totally something Brienne would be in to either way. I think? Maybe? Jaime definitely thinks it's fucking absurd (but also is a huge fan cause unending devotion and whatnot, but shall never admit) and he likes Brienne reading to him so...
> 
> And then of course there is  The Odyssey . For those who don't know, it is a poem by Homer (who Brienne does like!) about the trials and tribulations of the hero Odysseus as he tries to get home to his wife, Penelope, and kid but the God Poseidon just keeps fucking with him for ten years so he's just kinda floating around the sea and chilling on islands with pretty women. Odysseus, however, does not remain faithful to his wife in these ten years for several reasons (with several women too) while Penelope remains utterly faithful to him. Jaime fucking thinks Odysseus is a rat for this (despite Jaime's knowledge of the conventions of the times and yadda yadda, he does not give a shit). Cause this is how Jaime do. If you would like a quick and sarcastic summary of the epic, I refer you to [Overly Sarcastic Productions](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-3rHQ70Pag). Red does have more faith in Odysseus' fidelity than Jaime does though.
> 
> Also Jaime... tsk tsk.


	7. It’s Supposed to Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jaime can't bring himself to care about what used to be important anymore.

Jaime kept his phone on silent. He dismissed all texts and then even calls when they eventually came through. He was still using the device every single day though. He still had his lines to memorize after all.

Brienne stopped talking to him completely. The olive branch was broken. She had tried to get to know him and had seen him for what he really was. An asshole with no redeeming qualities who didn’t deserve the good will she bestowed on him because of something he had forgotten he had done when he was ten.

She hadn’t approached him at tutoring later that week. If anything, she had kept herself as far away from him as possible and Jaime _understood_ that. It sucked. But he understood it.

But because she was no longer talking to him, Pod, as Jaime now called him, was once again back under her care. Jaime saw the boy had looked confused at first, but he had settled in with Brienne quickly enough and was already enraptured with her. Jaime understood that too.

So as not to ruin some poor new kid’s tutoring session, because Brienne had kept Jaime’s original kid too, Jaime told the organizer of the tutoring sessions that he was dyslexic. She had asked him a couple questions about what he was comfortable teaching and then had accommodated him on the spot. That was that. It was the first time he had admitted it to anyone and it should have seemed like a grand event, but he just didn’t care anymore.

* * *

Cersei was still trying to get a hold of him when the weekend rolled around. He was told that she had even tried to ambush him at his apartment, but luckily Addam had let Jaime crash at his place indefinitely with no questions asked. They had hung out in Addam’s house playing video games, like the good old days, until Jaime had to go to the library.

“Why don’t you ask if there’s something else you can do if you don’t want to see Brienne the Beauty right now?” Addam asked as he turned a corner and slowly skittered to a stop.

Jaime worked his jaw as he considered his answer. He had considered going back to the community service help desk and harassing the receptionist, Gilly was her name, until she gave or made him a new position somewhere else. But a part of him felt like that would have been craven. “They need the help,” Jaime shrugged as he pulled on the door handle and clamoured out of the car.

Addam simply shrugged back and scanned the horizon, “Oh, looks like you’re in luck. I don’t see her today, just her friend with the sweet tits.”

Jaime’s brows pulled together as he regarded the volunteers gathered and noted that Sansa was indeed alone this time. She was waiting for the trucks to reveal their treasures so they could start carting in the next load of books. “Maybe she’s avoiding me,” Jaime said with bravado. His stomach roiled, making him feel nauseous that it could be the case.

Addam believed him though and laughed so hard the car shook, “Gods, did she really think you’d ever consider fucking her?”

Jaime scoffed out of his nose and said with a strained voice, “Fat chance.”

“Four hours?”

“On the fucking dot,” Jaime replied and slammed the door closed.

Addam once again careened down the street with the smell of burning rubber left in his wake. Jaime sighed and stared at his shoes as he rubbed his face with his left hand. When he looked up, Sansa was glaring at him with the kind of fury that could set mere mortals on fire. Jaime sauntered up to her and the corner of his lip quirked up, “You look a lot like your mom when you glare at me like that.”

“I wish I could order a hit on you like her too,” Sansa hissed, “I would rather you be dead than torture you.”

“So Brienne told you?” Jaime asked as he stuffed his hands into his jean pockets, his cast getting in the way of the motion of his right, and tried not to break eye contact.

Sansa’s nostrils flared, “She didn’t at first, but I eventually got it out of her.”

“Maybe she wanted you to mind your own fucking business.”

“Maybe I’m not the one with the fucking problem,” Sansa near screeched as she swung her purse at him and hit him squarely at the edge of his cast. The metal buckles were definitely going to leave marks on the exposed skin there.

Jaime grunted angrily and took two deep breaths in, “What if I told you I immediately got my comeuppance?”

“What?”

“It seems like even the fucking universe is on Brienne Tarth’s side.”

“Something terrible happened to you?” Sansa asked with narrowed eyes that flickered over him, probably searching for more bodily harm.

Jaime scowled as he finally pulled his left hand out of his pocket and ran it through his hair again, “The worst thing I could imagine, yeah.”

“Good. I hope it hurt. I hope it still hurts,” Sansa snarled.

“Rest assured little Cat, it does.” The look on Jaime’s face seemed to calm Sansa enough to not physically assault him again and so they started to unload the pile of books together, “Where is the wench today anyways?”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but she had something else to attend to,” Sansa muttered as she marched beside him, “Because unlike you, she doesn’t _have_ to be here. She chose to be, because she’s a good person. The best person.”

Jaime took in a deep breath, relief flooding him in spite of himself, and let it out in a loud sigh, “That, you and I can agree on.” Startled Sansa looked at him with wide eyes. “What little Cat? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Sansa pursed her lips into a thin line and turned her gaze back forward as she dropped her two books in the pile that was slowly forming through the effort of the other volunteers. “I fucking hate this.”

Jaime rolled his eyes, “You’re going to have to clarify.”

“I still hate you.”

“I don't care.”

* * *

Brienne looked exhausted at the Winter Semester Fair meeting. She hadn’t put on make up that day and somehow managed to look paler than usual, making her freckles stand out dark against the pallor of her skin. Even from across the room Jaime could see the sweat that was beading on her temples even though the autumn had started to get cold.

When the meeting was dismissed, handsome Renly Baratheon was suddenly at the door and Brienne had nearly fallen into his arms. They quickly exited the room together and by the time Jaime was out in the hall, he could see the two of them were already pushing open the doors to the building to the parking lot where Renly’s car sat idling by the curb.

Jaime rushed after the two of them and watched as Renly turned and helped Brienne climb into the front passenger seat. By the rise and fall of her chest, it was obvious that she was breathing harder than usual. Jaime wondered if she had caught the flu, which he had heard had swept through most members of the Baratheon family, somehow skipped Robert and which had finally stopped Cersei from persistently calling on him. Jaime still hadn’t returned to his apartment though. It was too risky. Renly spotted Jaime coming out of the Classics building, seemed to nod at Brienne and then closed her door.

Jaime leaned against one of the old marble columns beside the entrance and watched as Renly made his way back to him. “Hey Jaime,” Renly said with a rub of the back of his head, “I heard that my brother gave you some shit last week.”

“I would call your brother the worst, fucking bastard at KLU, but that would be too kind.”

Renly chuckled at that, “I get that. He _is_ the worst.” Jaime stared at Renly, expecting him to say more and after an uncomfortable moment of silence Renly grunted and flicked his eyes towards Brienne, “I heard what happened with Brienne too.”

“I imagine since your brother being an ass and me being a cunt kind of happened all at once.”

“Glad to know you’re owning it.”

Jaime rolled his eyes and his hands clenched into fists, “Why do people keep thinking I’m going to deny things I so obviously did.”

Renly eyed him, “It’s what most cunts do.”

“Why are you talking to me Renly?”

Renly sighed and a fond smile pulled at his lips as his gaze flickered back to Brienne who seemed like she had fallen asleep in the passenger seat, “Has the recording been useful? Loras and I had great fun doing it. Good practice for voice acting.”

“What’s it to you?”

“Personally, I don’t give a damn,” Renly said, “But she does.”

Jaime looked at him flatly, “Does she?”

“She’s mad at you. She should be mad at you. I for one hope she stays mad at you. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care,” Renly snorted in amusement, “Even if she won’t admit it.” Jaime’s mouth gaped and Renly openly laughed at him. “So… the recording?”

Jaime shook his head to clear his thoughts and then nodded, “It’s been a life saver. I owe you.”

Renly’s eyes sparkled, “No, you owe her.”

* * *

Jaime found himself alone in the courtyard after Renly had climbed back in his car and had driven off. Jaime was sitting on the oak bench that he and Brienne usually occupied after the meetings, and he noted that it was actually pretty big… and pretty lonely when she wasn’t there.

Jaime stuffed his hands into the pockets of his bomber jacket and pulled out the pack of cigarettes he hadn’t touched since Brienne had read him The Epic of Gilgamesh. He had been craving a smoke all weekend, but hadn’t relented. He had thought that seeing her at the meeting would probably break him.

Thumbing out the roll that had an ever so slightly charred and bent tip, Jaime flicked open his golden zippo lighter and flicked at the flint wheel. The wick immediately caught.

Jaime stuffed the cigarette between his teeth and brought the flame up to the tip. The tobacco and paper immediately caught. He closed his lighter, dropped it back into his pocket, pulled the cigarette out from between his teeth and mashed it on the picture of the lung full of tar. With a flick of his left wrist, the whole pack was in the bin, buried in between the garbage.

Leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, Jaime ran the palm and fingers of his left hand, and the fingers and edge of his cast of his right hand through his hair. The dirt beneath his shoes was slightly damp, and inanely Jaime realized that at this time after meetings he was usually staring at the sky, the front and back cover of whatever book Brienne was reading, and the knuckles of her thick, strong fingers. The same fingers that would usually be in his hair right about now instead of his own.

Jaime let out a loud bellow that caused everyone to stop and stare at him, but he didn’t care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The balance of the tragedy of losing Cersei vs. the tragedy of losing Brienne in Jaime's thoughts is really quite telling isn't it?
> 
> Going to one hundred percent admit. When I found out that NCW talks a bit like a frat boy in Danish I was tempted to completely change all of Jaime's dialogue to match cause I thought that was so cute and funny. Love it.


	8. Setting Things Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jaime makes an important apology.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Addam asked as he leaned forward to look past Jaime, “You don’t have to do this you know.”

Jaime shook his head as he stared out the window, “No. It’s something I got to do.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to wait for you man?”

Jaime sighed and leaned back in his seat. He considered Addam’s offer again, “I’m sure. I’m probably going to need the walk back to your place after.”

“Hey, um…” Addam muttered brokenly. Jaime turned his gaze from the house the were parked in front of to his friend. Addam was clutching his steering wheel so hard that his knuckles were turning white and he was staring at the dash as though his life depended on it. Jaime gave him a moment. Eventually Addam managed to grind out, “The guys miss you. I know they were… we were being dicks, but… you should come hang out with us again soon.”

Jaime snorted and the corner of his lips pulled up ever so slightly, “Sorry, I’ll drop by again this week... probably. Some shit just happened. I needed to back away for a while and…” Jaime searched for the right words, “Reorganize my priorities.”

“Robert gave Euron a beat down if that helps,” Addam provided. It didn’t, but Jaime gave his friend a reassuring smile he was sure looked more like a grimace anyways. “And uh… Cersei’s been asking us about you.”

“Did you tell her I was staying at your place?”

Addam shook his head vehemently, “No. But I think she knows anyways.”

Jaime nodded, “Figures.”

Addam sighed and his grip on his steering wheel finally loosened, “I don’t know what’s going on with you man. You’re at my house and we’re hanging out every day, but you’re not giving me anything.”

“Did you want to know?” Jaime asked incredulously with a raised eyebrow.

Addam looked offended, “Of course I do. We’re best mates. I want to help you best I can.”

Jaime snorted in fondness, a genuine smile finally crossing his lips, “Honestly man, _I_ barely know what’s going on with me right now. Once I figure even just some of my shit out… I’ll talk.”

Addam nodded as his grip loosened, “I’ll be there with a six pack and a liter of cheap vodka if that’s what’s needed.”

Jaime roared with laughter, “Might be.” Addam joined in with Jaime’s laughter.

Slowly it died, “Hey… Good luck in there man.”

“Thanks.”

“Call me if you decide you don’t want to walk back.”

“I will.”

“Good.”

Jaime climbed out of Addam’s car and closed the door. For once Addam respectfully pulled away from the curb, not wanting to make the whole situation any worse than it surely would be.

Jaime took in a deep breath and then turned around to face the Stark residence.

* * *

It was Sansa who opened the door. And he was pretty sure she had never looked more surprised in her life. “By the Seven…” she muttered her eyes wide in what could only be described as awe.

“Hey…” Jaime said and then winced because that was pretty weak, “Is your mom home? Or your dad if she isn’t.”

Sansa nodded, still in a daze and stepped aside to let him in. Jaime walked into the house and took off his shoes. Immediately, one of the Stark’s giant wolf-dogs appeared and began chewing on his sneakers. Jaime glared at the dog as it slobbered all over the laces. Already, this was starting out great. Then he heard it. It was under her breath, and he was sure that Sansa was talking to herself, but he heard it none-the-less, “I can’t believe she was right…”

Jaime coughed awkwardly as he stood there in his socks and Sansa seemed to jolt as though realizing that he was still there, “Um yeah sorry. Come sit in the kitchen and I’ll go get my mom.”

Jaime nodded and followed Sansa into the airy kitchen with its stone work and beautiful light gray walls. She pulled out a chair for him to sit down in and then rushed off into a different part of the house.

Jaime pulled at his collar feeling like a noose was about to tighten around his neck.

Sansa didn’t reappear, and it took the longest couple of minutes in Jaime's life for Catelyn Stark to sweep into the room, regal and still looking like she was ready to stone him. She sat down across from him silently and regarded him with cold, blue eyes that were like shards of ice, a completely different shade than that of Brienne’s.

She simply sat there staring at him for what felt like an hour and Jaime fidgeted like a schoolboy in trouble. He supposed that was what he was.

Finally she spoke, “I’ll be honest Jaime Lannister, I never expected to see your face here.”

Jaime grimaced, “To be fair, I originally had planned on keeping a kilometer radius from you and the Stark residence for the rest of my life.”

Catelyn continued to regard him cooly, “Then why are you here?”

Jaime fidgeted again and took in a shallow breath, “Because… because I realized that it was something I should do.”

Catelyn hummed deeply as she stared into his soul. “Sansa’s been telling me about your work at the library.”

“I’m sure she’s told you in great detail about how long it took me to catalog all those books last weekend,” Jaime said.

Catelyn nodded, “That,” and then a sardonic smile pulled at Catelyn’s face, “And the events of other weekends too.”

“Oh. Well, I do make a fine pack mule.”

“So I’ve heard.” Catelyn started drumming her fingers on the glass table, her nails clinking on the surface as she tilted her head as though to puzzle him out, “What are you doing here Jaime?”

Jaime swallowed and licked his lips. His gaze fell to the floor as his nostrils flared and he took in a deep breath. He looked back up again and made himself stare at her dead in the eye, “I’m here to apologize… to Bran, if you’d let me.”

There was a beat of silence.

And then loud, uproarious laughter.

Bewildered Jaime simply stared until Catelyn reined herself in with a hand over her eyes, the tips of her fingers and thumb pressed to opposite temples. Her whole entire body shook with her effort to control herself.

Jaime grimaced as he slowly tried to find the words to soldier on, “I know what I did was irreprehensible, but I’d—“

“I guess at my age people can still surprise you,” Catelyn interrupted with a derisive gasp, “And you can continue to learn that age doesn’t equal wisdom.”

Jaime jolted and the first thought that came to his mind spilled out of his mouth, “You’re hardly old.”

Catelyn regarded him between her fingers and seemed to shake with more repressed laughter before she shook her head. “I’ll show you to his room.”

“Really?” Jaime squawked as his eyes widened and he nearly toppled out of his chair.

Catelyn snorted as she crossed her arms and looked away from him. She seemed to be staring out at nothing, but Jaime imagined she was thinking of someone or something, “I was warned you might someday come. I dismissed it at the time as an impossible occurrence. A Lannister coming to my home to apologize. Inconceivable. I guess being foolish enough to be ill prepared has made me lose all of my sensibilities.” And with that she swept up to her feet and exited the kitchen. Jaime shot out of his chair and stumbled after her. In none of his imagining had he thought he would succeed, much less that it would be this easy.

Catelyn walked up the stairs and eventually stopped in front of a room, “He’s inside. And I’m warning you Jaime Lannister, if you cause any of my children any further harm, you will wish you were dead and they will never find your body," Catelyn's ice blue eyes flashed in promise, " _Any_ of whom I consider my children Jaime.”

Jaime nodded wide eyed and definitely terrified as Catelyn swept away again. Jaime shook out his hands to steel his nerves. He knocked on the door.

“Come in.”

Jaime slowly turned the door knob and stuck his head in first, “Um… hi.”

Bran was sitting in a wheel chair with an Xbox controller in his hands and Halo paused on his TV. On his bed sat another of the wolf-dogs, eying Jaime as though appraising his threat level. The dog seemed to deem him harmless for it went back to sleep. Bran blinked a couple times in shock before he set the controller down on his lap and smoothed out the blanket covering his legs, “Hello,” he said, voice low and quiet.

“Can I uh… Can I come in?”

Bran chewed on his top lip and then wiggled on the spot, “Yeah, I guess.”

Jaime nodded and opened the door all the way and stepped into the room. He debated closing the door behind him but then thought better of it and left the door wide open so that Catelyn could see that he wasn’t trying to murder her son. “How are you doing?”

“As good as one can do with two broken legs,” Bran said.

Jaime nodded and waved his cast around, “I can’t hope to understand what that’s like, but I can see what you’re getting at from an arm’s length.”

Bran looked at him like he was an idiot and then burst out laughing. He laughed so hard that he curled forward and shook, the Xbox controller dropping to the floor. Jaime stepped forward and knelt down to retrieve the controller and held it back out to Bran for when he was ready to take it. Using one finger to dislodge a tear from the corner of his eye, Bran took the controller back from him. “So you can be funny and a shit person.”

Jaime gave him a reluctant smile, “You just described all my personality traits.”

Bran huffed and gestured at Jaime’s arm with his chin, “Did that hurt?”

“Yeah, there was bone. It was a bit gruesome.”

Bran nodded and stared down at his lap while running his fingers along the sides of the controller, “You know, a moment _before_ , I thought you were pretty cool.”

“That was definitely a mistake.”

“It was.”

“Hey,” Jaime sighed as he flopped over onto his butt with both of his legs bent, one facing to the side and one up. He rested the elbow of his right arm on his knee and his chin on his cast, “I’m sorry,” Jaime said sincerely.

Bran didn’t say anything in return. Didn’t even move. The two of them just sat in silence as Jaime felt like quaking and Bran began to fiddle with his controller.

Catelyn walked by the door with Rickon in her arms and stole a glance in. She continued on her way, supposedly appeased by what was happening.

Eventually Bran broke the silence as he gestured at the TV. “Do you play?”

Jaime nodded, “Yeah.”

“There’s another controller over there.”

“Cool.”

* * *

Brienne seemed like she had mostly recovered from her cold by the time the next tutoring session rolled around. She was still ignoring him though, but she didn’t move away when he moved to a table that was a bit closer to hers. He couldn’t help but sneak a couple glances at her every so often as his student was scribbling away. Brienne always looked so calm and collected while explaining things to her kids, determined to help them pass the semester.

He wished he could've heard her voice from where he was sitting.

* * *

During the week, Jaime finally made his way back to the basket ball court. Addam had once again tackled him into a bear hug even though they had only parted that morning. The guys had toned down their douche baggery for the time being, but only just a little. Euron had yellow welts all over him from where he was obviously still recovering from a few hits. However, he looked completely unrepentant, was glad to see Jaime, and didn’t say shit about Cersei. Oberyn’s personality still consisted of just a knife, his cock, and his slithery tongue, but Jaime kind of missed that. Bronn was still the biggest shit on campus, but he apparently had another bet brewing on the books, so he was as happy as a clam. Robert was still fucking Robert.

“Fucking Jaime Lannister, finally back eh?” Robert bellowed as he stood in front of Jaime, trying to pretend that he was the bigger man, “Done trying to bugger my little brother? Don’t want to catch you two fucking at the Baratheon Halloween Bash!”

Jaime just rolled his eyes as he immediately snuffed his temper. He said shitty things when he was angry. He agreed to shitty things when he feigned indifference. Things that people deserved to be mad at him for. He needed to stop letting Robert, _anyone_ , turn him into a fucking cunt. Jaime recalled Renly's sparkling eyes as he spoke about Brienne. Jaime straightened to his full height, towering half a head over Robert, “You know what Robert? Renly _is_ fucking hot. If he wanted me to, I _would_ bugger him if Loras wasn’t already.”

That more or less seemed to render Robert speechless. It was beyond Jaime how Robert still thought calling a dude gay was the biggest insult to man when both of his brothers were gay and in some of the healthiest relationships Jaime had ever seen. Then again, both Renly and Stannis hated Robert, so that would explain that.

When practice started, Jaime listened to the recording again, mouthing the words he had memorized along with Renly and Loras’s voices. He watched the guys practice, pleased that Addam was still, by far, the best man on the team. Jaime missed the game. It made him wonder how it was that sports had suddenly dropped so low on Brienne’s list of priorities. He remembered the way that she had been staring out at the sports hall that time the team and the cheer squad had found her. There was no way that she didn’t miss it too.

When practice ended, Jaime saw Cersei again for the first time since he had seen her spread wide open with Euron’s cock in her. Her eyes had widened upon seeing him and she had immediately rushed to his side and had thrown herself at him. “Jaime!” she cried her arms curling around his shoulders and her nails biting into his back.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her back. He resisted the urge to bury his face in her hair and take in her soft floral scent. “Hey you.”

She didn’t let go of him but she pulled back. Her emerald eyes were hard and gleaming, her cherry red lips were pulled into an enticing pout, “I thought you hated me Jaime.”

Jaime shook his head and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “No. I could never hate you Cersei.”

Cersei smiled, the secret smile they always shared that lured him to her between the sheets where their bodies could meet and they could slide into each other and become one. “That’s good.”

Jaime’s lips quirked as he stepped back, out of her arms, and away from her, “You’re my sister after all.”

* * *

When Addam pulled up to the library that weekend, he made his customary observation, “Gods her thighs are huge. A girl like that really shouldn’t wear leggings.”

Jaime looked up from deleting the furious capital letters that were texts from his sister and the screamy voice messages that had come after. His eyes nearly fell out of his head and he felt his whole body reacting, “Shit.”

“Right?”

“They’re like a mile long.”

Addam turned to him, slowly and robotically. His jaw hung open in shock, “What?”

Jaime jolted as he looked at Addam like a deer caught in the headlights, “I mean um…”

“You don’t compliment a girl’s legs unless you want them to—“

“Don’t finish that fucking sentence Marbrand!” Jaime shouted as he nearly tumbled out of the car and slammed the door before Addam could say anything more. Jaime took in a couple deep breaths and thought of anything to calm his raging hard on. He awkwardly made his way to Sansa and Brienne, noting with increasing anxiety that Addam had not driven away yet.

When Brienne saw him coming, she immediately turned on her heel and stormed inside. Jaime’s eyes followed her, gaze glued to her ass. Brienne didn’t play sports anymore, but it was obvious she still kept up with her squats at the gym. Jaime imagined gripping those toned muscles, her long legs over his shoulders, as he thrust deeply into her.

The loud sound of a car horn blaring knocked Jaime back into reality as Addam slowly drove past him with an open mouthed look of astonishment on his face. And then Jaime turned to Sansa, who simply snorted at him and then hid her mouth behind her hand before she started to guffaw.

Brienne immediately went to cataloging which meant that he was able to spend the whole four hours just moving books, but hadn't seen her again. For some reason, Sansa had graced him with her presence for the first hour before she joined Brienne. She hadn’t even threatened to kill him. She had even almost seemed cheery as she unabashedly had struck up conversations with him. Jaime had spent the last three hours paranoid that a length of thread was going to suddenly whip around his neck and simply end him right there, right then on the steps of Harrenhal library. Well, he had spent the time thinking about that and Brienne’s long legs and really well rounded ass.

* * *

At the Winter Semester Fair meeting, the organizer told them they were going to start doing dry runs of the different acts starting the following week. It was the first time he had met Brienne’s eyes since the incident at the basketball court. He nodded at her and she nodded back then she went straight back to ignoring him.

After the meeting he followed her out to the courtyard where she sat at their bench. He scoffed his shoes over the dirt with his hands in his jacket pockets, standing in front of her like a fool.

After a good five minutes of this awkwardness, Brienne sighed and closed her book and eyed him, “What? What the hell do you want?”

“Um…” Jaime said with a wince, because he hadn’t spent the last five minutes thinking of things to say like maybe he should have. He was just missing her. So he said that, “I miss you.”

She stared at him deadpanned, “What?”

“Arg,” Jaime sighed as he collapsed onto the bench next to her with both of his legs straight out and the base of his skull wedged up against the back rest and his butt nearly sliding off the seat, “Give me a break wench. I’m trying here.”

“I have no idea what you’re trying to do,” Brienne replied curtly as she purposefully put distance between them.

“I still haven’t had a single drag,” Jaime muttered as he looked at her from the corner of his eye, “Even though you haven’t been here to distract me.”

“Good for you.”

“Fucking hell,” Jaime growled as he flickered his eyes back up to the sky, “I’m not great, but I want to be better.”

“Good for you,” Brienne repeated.

“I miss... I miss hearing your voice and... and having you sass me and shit,” Jaime wanted to pull at his hair, because why the hell was this so damn hard, "What I’m trying to say is that I want to hang out with you again." 

Brienne turned to him, “Why? So you can find out more about me and then go make fun of me behind my back?”

“No wench!” Jaime snarled as he shuffled his feet on the ground so that he could push himself to an upright position. He rubbed his face and fussed with his hair and accidentally scraped his cast over his cheek. He recalled what she had said about wanting to get to know him, “You were really nice to me when I fucked myself over—“

“Are you mocking me?”

“Shut up!” Jaime roared as he turned to her, his emerald eyes lit, but not with fury, “You were really nice to me and I was really shit to you and I want to get to know you better. I want to know what makes Brienne Tarth tick and I want to know how the hell someone can be so good. I just… I just want to get to know you.” 

Brienne stared at him bewildered, “Oh.”

Jaime cringed, “Yeah.”

Brienne leaned back on the bench. He watched as she seemed to internally struggle with herself. She wrung her hands and bit her lip. A couple time she even sighed as thoughts seemed to race through her mind. Her face was so honest, it was like an open book; he only wished he knew how to read it. “Alright,” she eventually said.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah,” Brienne muttered, “But…” Brienne hesitated, “But no more talking about me behind my back.”

He willed himself not to fall apart in relief. Jaime shook his head emphatically, “Can’t do that.”

“Excuse me?” Brienne growled as her head snapped up to glare at him.

“Of course I’m gonna fucking talk about you when you’re not there. People say good things about you when you're not there all the time,” Jaime huffed as he clenched his fists in his pockets and thought of Sansa and Renly and how much they obviously loved Brienne. “I swear. Cause well… you’re made of only good things.”

“You can’t promise something and then just blatantly lie right afterwards. It defeats the whole purpose,” Brienne snarled as she stood up. Jaime's mouth gaped open as his relief shattered. She grabbed her things, and practically sprinted away, distancing herself from him as far and fast as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally two chapters. The first chapter was supposed to end after the whole Bran thing, but then I looked at the length of both of those chapters and they were both very short so I thought... why not combine them? It does make it seem like a much shorter period of time until Jaime and Brienne confront each other again but... well it's still the same amount of time story wise haha. Hopefully this doesn't throw anyone off too badly!
> 
> The Stark children ages are a bit all over the place. Don't think about it too hard haha. Robb is four years older than JB, Sansa is one year younger, Arya and Bran are twins with Arya being the older one and are three years younger, and Rickon... Rickon is a toddler. A surprise... but a welcome one.
> 
> Jaime is really shit at apologizing haha.


	9. Little Jaime Lannister

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jaime learns that all of the Tarth's are rudely nice.

Jaime gritted his teeth as he stood in front of her front door. It was painted a beautiful azure that didn’t quite match the colour of her eyes and Jaime was frustrated that he somehow knew this. He had walked all the way here from Addam's place, not willing to deal with his friend's teasing. Jaime was also sure that Addam wasn't going to pull away from the Tarth residence with the same kind of diffidence as he had left the Stark residence and that was not something he wanted to have to explain in any way shape or form right now. Jaime shifted his weight back and forth, the tickets in his hand crinkled as he hesitated before he rapped on the wood. After a moment, the hinge creaked open as Selwyn Tarth appeared. “Well if it isn’t little Jaime Lannister.”

Normally Jaime would take offence to being called little, but the Tarth’s had the genes of giants and Selwyn was somehow several inches taller than Brienne who was already almost an inch taller than Jaime was. Selwyn was also built like an American footballer. Brienne had learned how to body slam from someone and it was definitely this man. “Hello sir," Jaime said, dialling his politeness up to maximum, "Is Brienne home?”

“No. She had a prior engagement,” Selwyn said eying him up and down mirthfully. Jaime really wished that he could understand what was going through Selwyn's mind at that very moment. Because if he was about to get crushed, Jaime wanted at least to be prepared. “What do you want with her Jaime?”

Jaime sighed, of course it wouldn’t be easy, but at least this way the tickets would definitely get to her. She was hardly going to chuck them back into her father's face. “Can you give these to her?” He held out the tickets in his hand to Selwyn and the large man carefully took them from Jaime’s fingers and smoothed them out carefully in the palm of his large hands. Large hands that were big enough to collapse Jaime's skull in.

He looked at them curiously and then stared at Jaime with a raised eyebrow, “Would you like to come in for a cup of coffee?”

“Are all Tarth’s just rudely nice?”

Selwyn chuckled as he stepped to the side, “I also have tea.”

Jaime sighed and nodded as he stepped over the threshold. Selwyn was physically terrifying, but the man had also been nicknamed the "Gentle Giant" in Jaime's childhood. Gentle that was... until someone hurt Brienne. All Jaime's fearful impressions of Selwyn Tarth had been born from a day the man had marched into their junior high school corridor and had made Sandor Clegane piss himself from fright after Sandor had broken Brienne's nose the day before. The only thing that had stopped Selwyn from violence was that Brienne had already gotten to Sandor first, something she had failed to tell her father, and had left the kid with a dislocated jaw. Jaime toed off his shoes and followed Selwyn into the house noting the multitudes of photographs that were hanging on all of the walls. Some of them were new, some of them were old, and some of them looked like they had come from the age before time itself.

He recognized Selwyn in many of the photographs, some as a young man and others as he was now, and recognized Brienne in many more of them. Jaime could practically track her life history from the age of five to now. It was easy recognizing her between those ages, he had known her since then after all. Then there were many photos of whom must’ve been Brienne’s mom and a couple group photos of Selwyn, Brienne’s mother, Brienne looking oddly more boy-like than usual, and a very small toddler that also looked like a gap toothed Brienne.

When Jaime was situated on the living room couch with a cup of hot coffee in his hands and Selwyn in an armchair beside an old stone fireplace, Selwyn finally asked, “Why the tickets?”

“An apology.”

“Didn’t know that Lannister’s had the ability to apologize.”

Jaime grunted, “It’s been a steep learning curve and I don't think I've actually succeeded even once.”

Selwyn hummed in amusement letting Jaime know that he knew all, well hopefully not _all_. Jaime cringed at the thought of giant Selwyn Tarth crushing him under his thumb because Jaime had called his daughter unfuckable. Gods, he really hoped Brienne hadn’t told her father the details. “You were always a good kid Jaime.”

Jaime wilted, understanding the moniker ‘kill them with kindness’ a little too well. “Ugg, people keep saying that.”

“Maybe because it’s true.”

Jaime leaned back on the cushions and thumbed the edge of the coffee mug, “Well then, somewhere between wanting to be a hero and becoming a villain that must have changed.”

“I don’t think you’ve ever been a villain. Terribly misguided, yes. Done bad things, undeniably. But surely still capable of a redemption either way.”

Jaime gave a snort of laughter and sipped at the overly sweet and milky coffee, “A redemption huh?”

“If you believe you need redeeming.”

Jaime sighed and ruffled his hair, “Guess that’s going to have to start with properly apologizing to your daughter.”

Selwyn smiled at Jaime's easy acknowledgement of his flawed character, “It’s certainly a good place to start, if any. I suggest the old, never too overly used, ‘I’m sorry’.”

Jaime felt himself flush ever so slightly. He hadn’t managed to say those two words to Brienne had he? But he _had_ tried it the first time when he had chased her down and she had called him out on it. He didn’t think it would work if he tried again, even if Selwyn was trying to give him the best advice he could. Yes, his answer to her rebuttal would be different now, something Addam was not letting him forget, but that was probably an even worse way to go about it. 'I'm sorry alright? I lied between my teeth. Actually, I'd die for the _chance_ to shag you.' Yeah, no. Brienne would murder him. Selwyn would murder him. Sansa would cackle her lungs out. “There are two tickets. You should go with her,” Jaime said.

“I don’t care much for weaponry and a personal apology moves a redemption arc along faster anyways.”

“Those are VIP hidden collection access passes. She’ll gut me with one of the swords before I even manage to get out one 'sorry'.”

“And if she does, you’ll have probably deserved it. Brienne will listen... if you aren't being incorrigible.”

Jaime grunted as he drank another mouthful of his coffee. He was pretty sure he was always incorrigible, “Yeah. She's going to eviscerate me.”

Suddenly the front door clicked and swung open, “Dad I’m home! The results came back and everything looks great!” Brienne called as she kicked off her shoes and they smacked against the wall. Jaime saw socks flying from where he was sitting, “Is it alright if Sansa comes in for a bit too?”

Jaime stared at Selwyn with wide, fearful eyes as Selwyn gave him the biggest, scheming smiling Jaime had ever seen. “In here my shooting star!”

“Da-ad! I told you not to call me that when—“ Brienne stepped into the living room and immediately halted when she saw him, “What the hell is _he_ doing here?” Sansa popped out from behind Brienne’s back. The moment she saw him her eyes began to twinkle in delight. Jaime was terrified and he wasn’t sure why.

Selwyn waved the two tickets in the air, “Jaime has brought over two VIP access passes to the historical weaponry exhibit going through town. He’s wondering if you’d like to go with him.”

Jaime opened his mouth to try and correct Selwyn's statement. Maybe the man wanted his daughter to gut him. Was Selwyn Tarth just playing the long game?

Brienne head snapped towards her father as her eyes widened, “VIP?”

“Yep,” Selwyn said, the P popping on his lips.

“As in like…” Brienne prodded.

Jaime avoided Sansa’s gaze and observed Brienne instead. He realized belatedly that doing so probably wasn’t helping the situation with Sansa, but it was better than challenging a little Catelyn in unfamiliar territory. Brienne was wearing a loose blue sweater that complimented her eyes and well worn skinny jeans that left more to the imagination than the leggings had, but definitely still highlighted how long her legs were and how firm her ass was. Jaime nearly spilled his coffee in his lap when Sansa plopped down on the couch beside him with a devil’s grin on her face. Jaime shifted as far away from her as he could, but her grin stuck to him like glue.

“As in private tour where you can touch things,” Selwyn finished.

“Holy shit,” Brienne said as she nearly swooned into the other armchair by the fireplace, “Ho-ly shit. That exhibit has almost everything, the only thing they’re missing is a Valyrian steel—“

“Actually,” Jaime coughed as he tried to pretend that Sansa wasn't nearly vibrating in glee beside him. Brienne’s eyes swivelled to him, “Actually they just recently came into a Valyrian steel sword.”

Brienne’s jaw dropped and her eyes nearly bugged out of her head as she seemed to forget that she was furious at him, “Which one?”

Jaime coughed again as he resisted the urge to pull at his collar as both Sansa and Selwyn stared at him like he was prey for the hunt, “Oathkeeper.”

Brienne actually did swoon this time as she slid onto the floor from her spot on the armchair with her hand over her heart. “Very dramatic Brienne, I give it an eight out of ten,” Sansa chirped, “Your other hand needs to go on your forehead the next time and…” Sansa shot him a devious look, “Maybe moan a little bit too.” A sense of horror swept through Jaime as he quickly appraised both Selwyn and Brienne. Both had certainly understood what Sansa was trying to do. There was no way that they didn't understand. They just simply weren't reacting, ignoring Sansa's antics in favour of sanity. Neither of them even twitched. Thank the gods. He was going to kill Sansa. Catelyn murdering him be damned. But for now he shifted on the couch so that it was a whole hell of a lot less obvious that he really, really liked the image of Brienne moaning. Sansa tittered behind her hand.

“Oathkeeper is my favourite of the Valyrian swords! It has been since—“

“Since grade four,” Jaime echoed with her. Brienne straightened up on the rug and leaned her back up against the armchair giving him a contemplative look.

From the corner of his eye he saw Sansa mouth at Selwyn, “Who has a favourite sword?”

Selwyn mouthed back, “My daughter does.”

“You remember,” Brienne stated as an emotion crossed over her face that Jaime was once again frustrated that he couldn't read. Selwyn and Sansa shot each other a look. It was clear they were able to interpret it.

Jaime cringed again and wondered why he couldn’t stop cringing, so he cringed at the fact that he was wondering why he cringed and then cringed again for the hell of it, “Yeah. I remember cause Oathkeeper’s my favourite too.”

“I remember,” Brienne near whispered.

“Right,” Jaime murmured as he felt her eyes capture his. He was drowning again.

“Okay,” Selwyn cut in and snapped Jaime back to reality, “Obviously it’s going to be you two taking these tickets to the exhibit because this is all over my head and Sansa looks like she has no idea why you would ever name a sword Oathkeeper, so that’s that.”

“I mean,” Jaime said as he faced Brienne, “If there’s someone else you’d rather go with… like Renly...”

Brienne frowned at him and then sighed, “I’ll go with you. No one else even knows why Valyrian steel is so special much less has a favourite blade. Especially Renly.”

Sansa clapped and then chirped merrily, “Oh! It’s a date.”

Jaime had never seen Brienne turn so red. He only wondered what the state of his face was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After posting the last chapter as a "double feature" because I thought that it was too short... I realized that the next two chapters are also kind of short as well? I was considering doing another double feature but these two don't combine nearly as well so... I'm just going to let it be. Chapter lengths are going to be very all over the place from here on out. None of them are going to be massive or too piddly but... all over the place haha.


	10. When Fairy Tales End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where in Jaime tells Brienne he doesn't believe in fairy tales anymore.

“I know this is a weird question, but did little Cat pick your clothes?” Jaime asked when Brienne picked him up from Addam’s house. He could feel Addam’s gaze on the back of his head as his friend stared at him from between the drawn curtains as he climbed into Brienne’s jeep.

“Yeah, and she told me that if you asked that question that I should tell you to keep your eyes up,” Brienne snorted. Jaime immediately stopped staring at Brienne’s thighs and met Brienne’s blue eyes. They were filled with laughter. “Scared that they’re going to crush you Jaime?”

Jaime tried to keep his thoughts at bay, but her words immediately conjured images of her on top of him with her legs wrapped around his hips, her hands in his hair, his hands squeezing her ass, and his name spilling off of her lips in low dulcet moans. He really hoped that Brienne wouldn’t notice the boner he was now sporting. He was going to kill Sansa. Eventually. He _would_ get there.

Jaime took two deep breaths in. “No, I’m not scared that they’re going to crush me wench,” Jaime replied honestly as Brienne put her jeep into drive and began making her way to the museum, “Your legs just look really fucking good in leggings and I never noticed before…” he held up the fingers of his left hand and counted them off, “A couple weeks ago.”

Brienne snorted. “Right.”

“I’m serious,” Jaime said as he got comfortable, both in her jeep and with his sudden attraction to her. Denial was obviously not working. Maybe leaning into it would work more in his favour. Maybe she would appreciate that he was attracted to her. He would damn well appreciate her in _all_ the right ways if she showed any signs of being attracted to him. The jeep had a pretty spacious back compartment. “Your legs are stupid long and your ass is the fittest one on campus. Believe me.”

Brienne rolled her eyes, “Uh huh.”

“You don’t believe me.”

“Of course I don’t believe you.”

“I thought we were getting back on good terms again wench,” Jaime whined petulantly.

Because they had been.

After that day where Selwyn and Sansa had basically thrown them at each other and they had been reminded of their shared love of Oathkeeper, the rift between them had begun to mend.

During tutoring they were back to sitting at tables right beside each other and throwing quips at each other before the first years arrived. Pod now spent half his tutoring time with Brienne and the other half with Jaime stating that they had different styles that benefitted him in different ways. Jaime, meanwhile, was performing not as great as a tutor, due to his constant penchant of being distracted by Brienne's voice. Pod had even been forced to snap his fingers in front of Jaime's face to regain his attention. 

After the Winter Semester Festival meeting, where Jaime rocked everyone’s world with his perfect narration of the script, Brienne had read to him again with his head on her lap. It had been a little bit of a process to get there. First, he had sat like a good boy beside her on their bench. Then he had rested his head on her shoulder blaming exhaustion after having impressed everyone so. And then he had totally stealthily, without any suspicion what so ever, plopped his head into her lap. She hadn’t run her hands through his hair though. But he could live with that… for now. Jaime didn’t even care that some of the girls on the cheer squad had seen them in the courtyard, a thing that seemed to imprint greatly on Brienne when she had turned her worried eyes to him and he had simply shrugged and asked her to carry on. She had almost run her fingers through his hair then. But to no avail. _Next time_.

Jaime was even able to continue to take his team’s taunts in stride, especially since Addam was helping him divert the conversation every time it tried to turn towards insulting Brienne. Jaime had finally told Addam everything, minus a couple more personal details on both his and Brienne’s parts. Although Addam didn’t fully understand and still thought that Brienne was “ugly as fuck”, Addam respected the fact that Jaime thought “Brienne’s eyes are astonishing” and “she’s probably the best person I’ve ever known, no offence”. Addam was _even_ able to read the bolded, capitalized lines that screamed to the heavens how much Jaime liked the girl.

The previous day, at the library, it even seemed like Sansa was using her thread to yank the last pieces of their torn up relationship together just a little bit quicker. Jaime had thought this kind of non-sense was reserved for children, but Sansa seem to have zero qualms about acting like a young teenager. She had hip checked Jaime into Brienne several times, left them alone in the stacks for in ordinate periods, and had even _complimented_ him. That one even Brienne had pegged as being overly strange and the two had disappeared for a couple minutes as Jaime had continued to shelve the books that Brienne had sorted for him. When they had reappeared, Brienne had been as red as a tomato and Sansa was still as happy as a clam. Above all else, Sansa had continually asked Brienne to reach for things in high places when Sansa was around. This meant that Jaime had constantly been subjected to the scene of Brienne on the tips of her toes, fully extended, tongue between her teeth and lips, as her lithe body stretched out to impossible heights. Sansa hadn't even tried to hide the conniving looks she was throwing him every time Jaime's eyes had ended up roaming Brienne's form. At the end of the four hours, Sansa had even told him that Bran was up for another game of Halo, if he wanted. Bran, Addam, and Jaime had played an online match together that evening.

“We _are_ on good terms.”

“Then why don’t you believe me?”

Brienne sighed, “Please don’t freak out, okay?”

Jaime’s eyes narrowed, “Why?”

“Because I know I’m not physically your type.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Because I look nothing like Cersei and she must be your type if you’ve been shagging her for years.”

Jaime’s boner promptly wilted and he _freaked_ out.

Brienne rolled her eyes, “I’m pulling over before you do something stupid like grab the steering wheel or throw yourself out of the car.”

Jaime’s pupils were blown and both of his hands were braced on the dash. He was breathing like he had just run a marathon, “What?” he demanded as he swivelled his gaze to her.

“By the Seven,” Brienne muttered as she pulled to a stop at the side of the road and put the jeep into park, hitting the emergency lights, before turning off the ignition, “I know about you and Cersei.”

“Who the fuck else knows wench?”

“No one that I’m aware,” Brienne shrugged. Jaime gaped at her. “What? Did you think I was just going to go around broadcasting the fact that you sleep with your sister to the entire student population?”

“Slept,” Jaime protested weakly as he ground his teeth and then sunk in his seat, “I haven’t slept with her since before…” he waved his cast in the air.

“But when you get that off…” Brienne provided.

“No,” Jaime rejected violently as he turned to look at her, “No.”

Brienne tilted her head, confused, “No?”

“It’s over between me and her.”

For a moment, as she regarded him Brienne looked completely wretched, “Seriously?” The word slipped out of her mouth in a low whisper as though she hadn’t meant to say it.

“How is this…? What the fuck is…? Shouldn’t you be fucking appalled right now?”

“I mean I’ve had five years to make peace with it. It’s not ideal, obviously and yes, a bit appalling but… I mean…” Brienne muttered as she seemed to consider herself, “Why am I trying to explain this to you when you aren’t even explaining that to me!”

“That?”

“How it is that you and Cersei are over? You’ve been fucking since you two were sixteen. You’ve been doing other stuff since you were thirteen, since your mom..." Brienne paused and seemed to reconsider her trajectory, "You were obsessed with each other for years before that at least.”

“You’re making it sound like we were being really obvious wench,” Jaime said warily. It had been a long time since he had thought about his mom.

“You weren’t, seriously. No one else knows,” Brienne paused and took in a deep breath as though choosing her words carefully, “Being the odd one out gives you lots of time to observe the people around you.”

“Do you really want to know?” Jaime sighed.

Brienne gave him an amused smile, “Call me curious.”

Jaime snorted, “Alright wench,” Jaime ground his teeth again, “She cheated on me.”

“She’s been dating Robert for years though,” Brienne pointed out.

“Yeah, I know,” Jaime said deadpanned, “But that was ‘a cover’, so that we could keep ourselves secret. It was shit, but it was just one guy and Robert, that fucking bastard, was usually so deep in his cups anyways that he couldn’t get it up… even for her.”

Brienne cringed at that but nodded at him to continue.

“But otherwise, I was supposed to be the only one. And she _had_ been the only one.”

“You’ve _never_ slept with anyone else?” Brienne squawked.

Jaime scoffed in amusement, “Surprised wench?” Brienne nodded reluctantly but didn’t say anything else, allowing him to continue. “I’m a one woman kind of man and I thought we were destined to be together, you know? Like soulmates or something. Golden twins fated to be together from the beginning to the end. Our love was destiny. Like some dumb fairy tale.”

“But she slept with someone else.”

“I caught her sleeping with someone else though I think…” Jaime took in a deep breath as his fingers tapped on the dash, “I think there have been others.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Cersei wanting her own apartment in second year. It’s not weird for siblings to live together, you know? Save on rent, already have a history of yelling at each other over chores. All the good stuff. And then there were things I kept finding at her place that weren’t mine and definitely weren’t her kind of thing or Robert’s style of choice either. I ignored it all though, for the sake of the fantasy. Couldn’t ignore Euron’s cock in her cunt though.”

“Ooh, too graphic.”

“Sorry.”

Brienne’s hand grasped his forearm, “I’m sorry too. That must have sucked… walking in on that.”

Jaime rolled his head against the seat, “Yeah, it did,” Jaime said as he looked out his window and frowned, “Do you know what the worst part is?”

“What?”

“After I ended it, life didn’t change all that much. It made me realize that all we had become was something physical, that this all-encompassing thing had become just a small part of my life. We used to talk, you know? Late nights chatting and chilling and just being together. She wasn’t ever sweet, but she was caring and her personality has always been big. But that just wasn’t us anymore. It hasn’t been us for a long time. And yet… I sometimes still _want_ to take her back. Find that ideal again. Try to force that fantasy again. But I know none of that is real anymore.”

“She wants you too?”

Jaime laughed, “Hey I’m not that bad of a prize wench.”

Brienne rolled her eyes, “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jaime said as he shifted in his seat and stared at his lap, “She wants me. And she wants Robert. And she wants Euron. She wants what she wants and doesn’t care what any one else does. That’s not the same Cersei I fell in love with as a teenager.”

Brienne nodded, “Cersei has changed a lot.”

“Yeah, and I used to love every part of her.”

“Used to?”

“Yeah. Not anymore. I don’t want to be willfully blind anymore.”

“Oh. Good. You can do better than her anyways.”

Jaime chuckled, “You think?”

Brienne smiled kindly at him and reached out to take his hand with her other. She thought better of it though and retracted her hand before he could grab it, “I know.” She let go of his forearm and turned the ignition back on. “My point still stands though.”

“What?” Jaime asked.

“I'm not attractive. No part of me is attractive.”

Jaime’s eyes softened as he looked at her, at all of her, “You can't possibly believe that.”

Brienne rolled her eyes and pulled back onto the road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some of you guys were looking forward to the date at the museum but... next chapter? It'll be cute. I swear. Probably. 
> 
> And well to also make up for it... next week not only will there be the museum... but some other pretty big chapters. Big good? Big bad? Big long? Big short? Just big? Well you'll just have to find out... and then there is the week that after too ;) D: D: ;).
> 
> Also Overly Sarcastic Productions just came out with a Trope Talk on [Plot Twists](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afuwh0GXwbQ), which was written due to the ending of Game of Thrones. I love these guys, they are fantastic (They are also a great way to learn about myths and the Classics and Tropes). This video just speaks volumes about how and why S8 fucked up, even when they aren't referencing GoT directly. Take their spoiler warning at the beginning seriously though lol.


	11. Oathkeeper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jaime and Brienne go on their not-a-date and Jaime is a smart ass, but with class.

“You know,” Brienne said as she looked up from the description she was reading and regarded Jaime who was once again approaching her, “You can just ask me to read some of these out loud to you instead of circling every exhibit four or five times.”

Jaime rolled his eyes as he went to stand beside her with his arms awkwardly crossed due to his cast. He stared at what he assumed was some boring background information about the era from which the weaponry from this exhibit heralded from, the Iron Throne Era. “You’re just slow.”

Brienne scoffed as her eyes shone at him amused, “I just do museums the right way,” she shot back.

“Like an old lady,” Jaime teased, crossing his arms harder so that he wouldn't do something stupid like put one of his arms around her shoulder or her waist. Despite Sansa's voice cackling in his head, this wasn't a real date and the last thing he needed was for Brienne to distance herself from him again. That would actually be very, very counter to what he wanted.

“Better than like a kid on a sugar high.”

“Our hidden collection time slot is in three hours. You’re going to miss all of the interesting stuff if you keep going at your pace,” Jaime pointed out as he gestured at this exhibit and all of the other ones they had yet to see.

“You _are_ missing all of the interesting stuff,” Brienne countered as she tapped the placard that she had been reading, “Like, did you know that there’s this famous tale from the Age of Thrones which tells the story of an idiot who tried to tilt at a dragon?”

Jaime’s eyebrows furrowed, “That shit must be fabricated.”

Brienne gestured with her hands at the display associated with the description, “And that’s what most of the experts thought too until more and more evidence surrounding the tale proved itself to be true. You see that spear? They think that’s the one that was used.”

Jaime’s eyebrows furrowed as his eyes scanned the damaged weapon set innocuously behind the glass, “It’s so plain.”

“Yeah, you walked right past it three times,” Brienne smirked.

Jaime turned to watch Brienne gloat in her self-righteousness. He couldn't help but growl lightheartedly, “Just because the circumstances surrounding an event are true doesn’t mean that the event itself is.”

“Well _I_ think that’s brave,” Brienne said as she gave him a challenging look from the corner of her eye, “Tilting at a dragon.”

If only there were still dragons to tilt at, Jaime thought before the absurd delusion was swept away. He would be eaten before Brienne could call him an idiot.

Although Jaime knew that she was just goading him on, he took her on it anyways and protested, “Come on wench! That’s fucking idiotic! It would make more sense if he was tilting at the rider, but even then…” Brienne laughed, musically even, as he pouted at her. “Fine, fucking read the thing to me. I will decide if this imbecile deserves _the_ Brienne Tarth calling him brave.”

Brienne rolled her eyes, but read the placard out to him anyways.

Jaime definitely thought whoever this “brave” knight was, was a fucking moron.

* * *

Jaime wished he had brought a camera, because if he could have captured the moment that Brienne had first laid eyes on Oathkeeper, it would have been a treasure he would have kept forever. Now, all he had was the memory to cherish, and hold, and polish so that it continued to shine in his mind forever.

She had looked at him in such delight, delight that he was sure he reflected. Her eyes had shone so blue, her lower lip pulled between her teeth in excitement. When the curator, a patient middle aged man by the name of Arthur Dayne, had asked if she wanted to hold the magnificent blade, she had nearly quaked out of her socks in nerves.

Valyrian steel didn’t have to be handled with gloves, but they were warned that the blade was still sharp, so they would have to be mindful if they want to touch more than the hilt and pommel. And they both desperately wanted to touch more than the hilt and pommel.

“You know,” Brienne murmured as the tips of her fingers caressed the golden hilt and inlaid rubies, “My family records say that Oathkeeper was forged for House Tarth.”

“Bullshit,” Jaime replied as the fingers of his right hand delicately traced the details of the lion’s head. If his hand touched her hand while they were both examining Oathkeeper, that was definitely not on purpose. “This obviously means it was forged for House Lannister.”

"Not everything lion is Lannister!"

"It's a _golden_ lion wench. Why the hell would Tarth associate themselves with golden lions?" Jaime argued, ignoring the voice in his brain that really wanted a Tarth to associate herself with a particular golden lion.

Arthur stopped the argument before it could begin and one of them would get stabbed by the other. Neither was willing to listen to Arthur as he tried to convince them that the blade, technically, was of House Stark. If anything, that little interjection had only gotten Arthur even more grief as both Jaime and Brienne had teamed up to dismiss that particular idea. Eventually, after a stalemate in the discussion between all three parties, Jaime and Brienne both went back to simply marvelling at the sword.

After finishing their examination of the details of the hilt, Brienne went to test the balance of the blade. Her fingers rested against the black and red metal, instinctively knowing where the centre of balance would be. As they both had suspected, it sat perfectly balanced and they both gave a sigh. Arthur chuckled at both of them. “You two seem to know a lot about Throne era weaponry.”

“Not just Throne era weaponry,” Jaime espoused as he watched Brienne so easily handle the heavy sword, “Dragon, Ancient, Medieval, Raven, Renaissance, Early-Modern…”

Brienne grinned at him and mouthed the words, “You chose Classics for the swords.”

Jaime resisted the urge to stick his tongue out at her and instead took Oathkeeper to check the balance for himself. When the Valyrian blade rested on his fingers, he could feel that the steel was still warm from her touch.

* * *

Jaime insisted on getting their early dinner for both of them since Brienne drove. Although Brienne argued tooth and nail against the idea, Jaime had won with his charm and good looks. The girl behind the café counter rung both of their meals up on one bill and charged it all on Jaime’s credit card.

“You got the damn tickets!” Brienne continued to try and argue as they sat down at an empty table by a large bay window that faced the museum. The sun was only just setting, throwing the sky in high relief of pinks and oranges.

“That was an apology gift,” Jaime said as he placed their number on the table, “Do you know what a gift is wench?”

Brienne’s nose wrinkled as Jaime chuckled. “Fine. Thank you. It was a great apology gift.”

“Then the apology is accepted?” Jaime asked, not able to quite hide the nervousness in his voice.

Brienne rolled her eyes, “Yes, the apology is accepted Jaime.”

“Good. You can’t take that back now. Not on your good honour,” Jaime grinned as a delighted shiver ran down his spine.

Brienne snorted as their drinks were delivered to their table. Brienne thanked their server as she took a sip of her bright purple, blueberry Italian soda. “Seriously though Jaime. Today was great. I never thought I’d be able to see a Valyrian steel sword. It’s something I can check off on my list.”

Jaime grinned around the rim of his glass of beer, “I know.”

Brienne blinked, a strand of hair fell loose from behind her ear. He could see on her face that she was back in time, to before he had messed everything up. Her eyes shone with astonishment, “You remembered.”

He reached out with his free hand and gently tucked the strand of her long flaxen hair back behind her ear, touching the shell gently with the tips of his fingers. His cast brushed her cheek ever so slightly and he cursed himself for that, but was stunned when, instead of recoiling, she turned her cheek ever so slightly into his plastered hand. “It was the whole point wench,” Jaime managed to choke out as he retracted his arm.

“Oh!” Brienne said surprised as the flush remained on her cheeks. He could see in her eyes that she was reexamining the events of the day, of the last week under a different lens.

“Went right over your fucking head, didn’t it?”

Brienne laughed as her eyes softened and she regarded him reverently, “Right over.”

“Okay, okay,” Jaime declared as he set down his pint glass, “I got another one.”

“No more gifts Jaime! I told you, you’re forgiven!”

“It’s not a gift, it’s me being a smart ass. Give me your hand.” Jaime began to dig around in the pockets of his jacket and finally found what he was looking for in an inner layer. He pulled it out with a dramatic flourish. It was a feather tip marker.

Brienne slowly held out her hand, “Should I ask?”

“You’ll understand in a moment,” Jaime smirked as he bit off the cap, “If my right arm wasn’t mangled this would probably look a whole lot nicer, but it’s going to have to do,” he continued with the cap still in his mouth making his words tumble awkwardly together. Brienne understood the gist of what he was trying to say though and raised one eyebrow as Jaime took her right hand and placed it on the surface of his cast. Then, he began to connect the dots of her dark freckles with the tip of the pen with his left hand. “Ah, it’s a touch darker than I was aiming for,” Jaime frowned around the cap, but he kept on drawing. The colour of the marker was lighter than her freckles by a shade or two and had a little bit of a golden glint to it.

Brienne continued to stare perplexed as Jaime connected more and more of her freckles with a frenzy of lines down the back of her hand and up her forearm. “What are you—?“

“Shh,” Jaime hissed, “Let the master work.” He suddenly moved his cast arm out from under her hand and grabbed her palm. He used his hold on her to twist her forearm so that more of her freckles were exposed and continued drawing lines between them. Brienne's fingers curled in his grasp.

Brienne watched in utter confusion as Jaime continued to deface her skin. Soon after covering her inner arm with the same frenzy of lines, he started to erratically turn her forearm back and forth, drawing random lines where there hadn’t been any before. His eyebrows were drawn together in intense concentration as he seemed to speed through this part of the process, not letting her absorb what he was doing, and then just as suddenly, he slowed back down.

Brienne looked up at Jaime and saw that he was looking at her, his emerald eyes gleaming. Their gazes met and he gestured with his chin to look back down at her arm as he drew one last line. Brienne slowly brought her gaze down to the markings on her arms and took them in. It suddenly clicked. Tears immediately sprung to her eyes. “Jaime…”

“Took me for fucking ever to memorize,” Jaime said as he continued to look up at her with a grin on his face and the marker cap still wedged in between his teeth. His emerald eyes sparkled. It was a spectrum of freckled constellations that canvased over her skin. “It’s not quite night time yet, but I hope this will do.”

Brienne retracted her arm, as Jaime capped his marker and stuck it back in the pocket that he had retrieved it from. Brienne ran the fingers of her right hand over the constellations on her left arm, tracing the patterns that Jaime had made. It was obvious that she was mesmerized by the way that she traced every single one of the marks that he had drawn. Her bottom lip quivered as her sapphire eyes shone. Holding her arm between them, Brienne brought her other hand in front of her mouth as she tried not to cry. “Jaime…”

“You wanted to bring the stars down from the sky right? Well, I just thought I’d show you it wasn’t such a fanciful notion.” Jaime leaned forward in his chair like an excited kid as his eyes flickered between her arm and her face, “What do you think wench?”

Brienne’s sapphire blue eyes vacillated from Jaime’s face to her arm and then back again, an expression on her face he had never seen before. Or maybe he had. It was one of the expressions she had worn before that he hadn't been able to, still couldn't, read. “Jaime… I think you’re amazing.”

And then she grabbed his casted hand with the hand that he had drawn on and used it to propel herself forward. She kissed him softly on the lips.

Jaime’s eyes widened.

Brienne pulled back looking just as surprised.

And Cersei knocked on the glass window.

* * *

“Switch with me wench.”

Brienne looked up at him in confusion, “What?”

“You obviously don’t like whatever shit that is, so switch with me. I can also get you something else, but you won’t say yes to that,” Jaime said gesturing between his partially eaten meal and Brienne’s nearly untouched one, “You’re picking at that like a bird.”

Brienne laughed awkwardly and gave him a small, but genuine smile, “It tastes great Jaime. I’m just not very hungry right now.”

Jaime grimaced as he looked out the window at the nearly darkened sky, “Cersei does have that kind of an effect on people.”

“Your sister is a little bit much,” Brienne agreed and looked back down at her plate.

Jaime awkwardly shifted in his seat as he recalled the fact that they had only just had _that_ conversation that morning. “You don’t have to go to the stupid party you know.”

“Renly already invited me. Unlike what Cersei seems to think, it’s not just Robert’s shindig. I’m not dressing up though.”

Jaime grinned stupidly and tried to catch the gaze Brienne was avoiding him with, “Shindig.”

“Oh shut up,” Brienne flushed. She looked up at him through her lashes and then stabbed a piece of pasta. Jaime watched as she popped the morsel between her lips and began to chew slowly. He couldn’t believe that he knew that her lips were dry, gentle, and unbelievably soft.

Jaime coughed as he broke his gaze with her lips, “I’ll be there too.”

Brienne scoffed with laughter, “I gathered that, but thanks for pointing out the obvious anyways. Are you going to dress up?”

“Absolutely not. Some guys on the team might though," Jaime said as he continued to eat his meal, noting that Brienne was putting in a concerted effort to stab and eat another piece of pasta while glaring at the plate, "We should hang out… at the party… that is.”

Brienne looked up at him startled, “What?”

“I mean, not the whole time wench," Jaime said hurriedly, "You have Renly and Sansa and I’m going to guess Loras fucking Tyrell and I’ll have my annoying as shit team that you probably don't want to be around, but I’d like to hang out with you for some of the party, If you want to that is.”

Brienne gave him a small smile, “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Cool.”

“Cool.”

* * *

Brienne didn’t bring up the fact that she had kissed him throughout the whole entire week.

Maybe Cersei charging into the café after her untimely interruption and accosting them both had made Brienne forget the fact that she had even done it in the first place. Cersei had practically thrown herself into Jaime’s lap and had strangled him in what he supposed was supposed to look like an affectionate, sisterly hug, but was in no doubt a territorial claim. Brienne had looked, for all the world, like a person who had been slapped across the face when she saw the scene. Jaime was pretty sure that if they hadn’t been in a busy café he would have had to stop Cersei from doing exactly that. Jaime had basically thrown Cersei off of him to get that look off of Brienne's face as fast as possible. After that was when Cersei had invited Brienne to “Robert’s” Baratheon Bash. Cersei had refused to leave them back alone until Brienne had verbally confirmed that she was going to go to the party.

But Cersei being Cersei hadn’t succeeded in making Jaime forget about Brienne’s kiss. If anything, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. He had stared at her, her lips, the whole entire time as they made a dry run through several acts of the showcase during the next showcase meeting.

Somehow, Brienne had gotten only one small part, the role of Atalanta. It did not go over Jaime’s head that the role suited her well. Atalanta was an athlete, a woman of power, intelligence, and independence, all traits he could ascribe to Brienne. Most of all though, even if this segment of Atalanta’s tale wasn’t in the showcase, Jaime couldn’t help but think of the part of the myth where Atalanta had been turned into a lioness. She had been cursed to spend eternity with her husband, also turned lion, because they had fucked in Zeus’ temple. With modern knowledge, that ending seemed in no way like a curse at all. As a lion and a lioness, Atalanta and her husband could have kept fucking until the end of their days.

Jaime’s mind was deep in the gutter and he didn’t particularly want out.

After Brienne had performed her part early in the first half, she had sat in the audience along with a bunch of the other actors and stage crew. Jaime’s brows pulled together as she sank into her seat looking unreasonably tired and sweaty. She didn’t fall asleep though. Instead, Jaime watched with fascination as she seemed to sway with the beat of his voice and every time one of his monologues ended she met his gaze with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah, I know a lot of people were looking forward to this chapter, so I hope that it didn't disappoint! I really like it, if that sways opinions haha.
> 
> Don't get me wrong. I think that Jaime tilting at Drogon and Dany in Spoils of War was fucking amazing and very in character for him. But of course, I am looking at it through the lens of Aerys PTSD and him trying to save his army, not him wanting to do it for Cersei (which is what some people interpret it as?). Most of all, I don't think it was moronic, though definitely impulsive. But let's consider people trying to retell this story several millennia down the line. It would definitely get twisted in the game of historical telephone and would sound completely silly by our modern age.
> 
> And yes... I did combine our history with parts of GoT show-canon written as history. GoT history is just the history of the country of Westeros, eh? If Wales can have dragons, so can Westeros.
> 
> The lion, lioness thing was considered a curse because it was thought that lions could only mate with leopards. So by turning both Atalanta and her husband into lions, the goal was to keep them apart. Joke's on Zeus I guess. We all know the joke is actually on Jaime though.


	12. Purple Soda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jaime goes to the Baratheon Halloween Bash and gets Brienne an Italian soda.

Addam honked twice in encouragement before he pulled away from the library as Jaime sauntered casually, _casually_ up to Brienne and Sansa. He had been strategizing. Strategizing over the entirety of the week. Strategizing since his and Brienne's not-a-date on Sunday. Strategizing since _she_ had _kissed_ him. Strategizing since she had done nothing further since, hadn't _said_ anything further since and he had been flailing helplessly between not wanting to push it too hard and wanting to push it as hard as he could. Jaime had a strategy. A good strategy. A well formulated strategy. One that would surely, definitely work. She had kissed him after all. Brienne had kissed him! Addam had been feasting on popcorn every night over the past week.

As Jaime approached, he realized that the two girls were talking to each other in hushed tones with their eyebrows pulled together in confusion and mild frustration. Sansa was gesturing vaguely in the direction of a bunch of volunteers that Jaime had never seen at Harrenhal before, obviously agitated. Meanwhile, Brienne looked somewhat pained as she looked like she was trying calm Sansa down. “What’s going on wench?” Jaime asked quietly when he got within earshot, understanding that maybe they were talking about something that needed some subtlety. The situation was sensitive, but it was also perfect for his plan. So he implemented it. He slipped his left arm behind Brienne and rested his open palm on the small of her back, leaning in close to the two as though he had to touch her to join their huddle. _Had to_. Brienne jumped a little and looked at him oddly while flushing bright red, but didn’t shove him away. Contact established. Roaring success! Jaime was so damn proud of himself. It had taken him a whole week to come up with this plan. Congratulations were in order! Addam could eat his fucking socks. Addam would regret all that laughter now.

Sansa turned to him with pursed lips. She was so annoyed at the group of new volunteers, four men who also seemed to be interested in her, that she didn’t even notice the casual intimacy Jaime had established with Brienne, “We got a giant influx of volunteers this week who have no idea what they’re doing and seem like they’re already ready to slack off. It’s going to be annoying and we’re probably going to get less done because of this,” she huffed and glowered at the noisy bunch again.

Jaime looked over to the group of four guys in the distance and recognized one of them, “Ronnet Connington. He went to Riverlands with us, didn't he wench?”

“Yeah. The other three are Hyle Hunt, Edmund Ambrose and Ben Bushy,” Brienne sighed. Jaime looked at her with a raised eyebrow and then back at the four men in the distance. He had been wrong. They hadn't been looking at Sansa. They were looking at Brienne. “I’ve run into them a couple times the past couple of weeks. Some of them offered to get my coffees for me and Hyle has offered me a ride home three or four times.”

Jaime growled low in his throat oddly irritated at the idea that any guy, other than Renly, had tried to give Brienne a ride home. If his arm wasn’t broken, he would be monopolizing all of Brienne’s rides home. Slowly his hand slid along her back until it rested on her far hip, “Did you know them before this week?”

Brienne eyed him, “Yeah I knew them, but in the capacity that I know the rest of the basketball team.”

Jaime scowled as his fingers curled, “Brienne the Beauty?”

Brienne shuddered and her voice seemed to pitch a bit higher for some reason, “They really liked to sing The Bear and the Maiden Fair when they saw me on nights out. But so did a lot of people.”

“But a lot of people aren’t just suddenly nice to you out of no where,” Jaime replied.

“You were though,” Sansa pointed out. Jaime jerked his gaze away from the leering men and looked at her. She shrugged as she continued to glare at the group of four, “It’s the truth. Maybe they’re just like you and are seeing Brienne for who she truly is. Maybe they just want to get to know her better like you did. They should do it away from the library though. I can tolerate only one of you.”

Jaime grunted indignantly as his mind conjured up the thought of any of those four guys getting to know Brienne the way he wanted to get to know Brienne. Jaime stomped down those horrid images of Brienne wrapped around any of those four men, any other man, and too easily overlaid them with the thought of Brienne’s soft lips pressed against the crook of his shoulder and neck, her moaning _his_ name as she wrapped herself around _him_. He tugged Brienne close to his side and when the warmth of her body lined up fully with his, he finally realized what he had done. His eyes widened. None of this had been part of the _plan_. The plan had only been to touch her _back_. That was all. That was it! But then, before Jaime could retract, Brienne responded and she wrapped her arm around his waist too, anchoring him to her as he had anchored her to him. She was so flushed that she looked like a freckled tomato, but it was so fucking adorable that Jaime nearly melted into a puddle right there, right then. They were hugging, they were practically _hugging_. He was hugging her and she was hugging him. 

But thank god that they weren't actually hugging, because he was pretty sure that his boner to her thigh was not a great way to cap this moment off. Finally, Sansa seemed to notice all the touching they were doing and gasped as her blue eyes lit up in uninhibited glee. The boner did not get past her. “You know what little Cat?" Jaime hissed through his teeth, avoiding Sansa's gaze, as he tried to get through the situation without dying from both happiness and embarrassment, "I smell bullshit. There are no men like me, only me.”

He spent the whole entire four hours cataloging with Brienne just so the four assholes wouldn’t be able to approach her. She seemed to be relieved. However, they didn't get within an arms length of each other again. Sansa thought it was the funniest thing she had ever witnessed in her life.

* * *

Jaime and Addam rolled up to the Baratheon mansion in a MoBaelish well into the evening the following weekend. “So, am I going to see you at all tonight or are you going to be spending the entire evening trying to hold Brienne's hand?”

Jaime rolled his eyes as they pushed open the doors. Light and sound poured out of the building as people in and out of costumes pushed against each other in the foyer. “You’ll see me.”

Addam smirked and raised an eyebrow, “Uh huh," he tilted his head to look over Jaime's shoulder, "I see Brienne.”

Jaime immediately turned to where Addam was looking and spotted Brienne chatting happily with Renly and Loras through an archway into another room. Jaime was about to take a step in her direction before he stopped and turned back to Addam. Addam gave him a knowing grin. “Shut the fuck up,” Jaime cursed as he resisted the urge to look back to where she was.

“Oh just fucking go to her man,” Addam whooped, “Oberyn’s probably already in an orgy somewhere, Bronn’s definitely collecting some of his winnings dressed as a stupid shark, and Euron’s doubtlessly dressed as a pirate so bloody high seas that he won’t even recognize you.”

“What about you?” Jaime asked sincerely as he eyed his best friend.

Addam chuckled and patted Jaime on the shoulder, “It might come as a surprise to you, but I would also not mind spending my night with a girl on my arm. The difference is that I will try to find a good looking one in a slutty costume instead of a giantess in jeans.” Jaime glared at him. Addam laughed again and shook his head, “Fuck me Jaime.”

Jaime snorted as he let the corner of his lip pull up in a smirk, “Don’t let Robert hear you. He’ll think we’ve been making a black light Jackson Pollock of your sheets the past month.”

“You’re too pretty for me Lannister,” Addam shot back with a wink and then disappeared into the crowd.

Jaime shook his head fondly and turned on his heel. He easily found Brienne again in the crowd and pushed his way through the throng of people to get to her. Renly saw him behind her first and gestured in Jaime’s direction with a large Cheshire grin. Brienne turned around slowly as though unsure and when she saw him approaching she hesitantly raised a hand and waved her fingers at him in greeting. “What’s with that sorry excuse for a hello wench?” Jaime grinned as he nodded at both Renly and Loras.

Loras gave Renly a disconcerted look. Renly wiggled his eyebrows at Loras with a smirk on his face. Loras snorted and then began to cackle. Renly joined in. Brienne whacked both of them on the arms until they stopped and then both of them turned to Jaime and nodded back in greeting. Brienne looked between the three of them with a wary look on her face and then shook her head, “Boys,” she spat.

“Men,” Loras corrected.

“I don’t see any,” Brienne shot back with an amused sneer and Loras chuckled.

Jaime playfully punched Brienne in the shoulder with his left fist, “Oi wench. Pay attention to me. I abandoned my brethren to come say hi to you.”

Renly’s hand snapped out and grabbed Jaime’s fist in a vice grip. Jaime snatched his hand back and glared at Renly. Renly shook his head and barked, “You should know not to do that!”

“What the hell man?” Jaime snarled, “She’s not a fucking delicate flower.”

Renly scowled and was about to reply when Brienne stepped between them rubbing her shoulder, “Renly stop. It’s fine.”

“But he—“ Renly started, but Brienne shook her head. Renly’s mouth snapped closed and Loras frowned.

Brienne sighed and turned around to face Jaime, “Sorry about that. Renly gets over protective sometimes.”

“You hardly need to be treated delicately," Jaime growled as he continued to glare at Renly. Suddenly, Jaime remembered Margaery telling him that Brienne had liked Renly at one time. Had the feelings been reciprocated in some way? Had Renly and Brienne been together in high school for some time before Renly had come out in university? Jaime couldn't remember. "Has he never seen you body check someone?”

Loras chuckled almost nervously as Renly's nostrils flared, “I’ve been told by Renly that Brienne did have a monster body slam,” he explained as Renly simmered down. Loras wrapped his hand around Renly’s hip and dragged him to his side and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Jaime watched as Loras seemed to whisper into Renly's ear. Renly’s locked jaw relaxed, he turned to give Loras a quick peck on the lips, and then he let out a long, steady breath.

“Sorry, you’re right,” Renly muttered and looked away from everyone. However, he still ran a hand through Loras’s hair, “I over reacted.”

“No shit,” Jaime said. He turned back to Brienne. She looked worried still so he tempered his own scowl and asked kindly, “Do you have a drink wench?”

Brienne shook her head as she gave him a small smile, “I just got here like twenty minutes ago and have just been chatting with Renly and Loras since.”

“What do you want? I’ll go get it for you,” Jaime said and resolutely ignored the twin sets of eyes that were suddenly twinkling at him with amusement again.

"Are you sure? I can just go get it myself."

"I'm going to go grab a beer anyways." Jaime ignored the pointed looks Renly and Loras gave each other. The way they were looking at each other in glee reminded him eerily of Sansa.

Brienne barely contemplated, “An Italian soda then?”

Jaime scoffed as he couldn't help but grin, “Seriously? The Baratheon Halloween Bash and you want an Italian soda?”

“With extra syrup then,” Brienne pouted.

Jaime chuckled, “Alright then wench. An Italian soda, extra syrup.” Jaime took his left hand and touched Brienne’s cheek gently with the back of his fingers before he turned around and went hunting for the drinks table. The look of surprise and pleasure on Brienne’s face when he had touched her imprinted on his mind.

Before he was out of ear shot, Jaime could hear Renly begin to interrogate Brienne about the casual touch.

While he was in the kitchen draining half of his can of beer and mixing Brienne’s soda with an unholy amount of blueberry syrup, Cersei found him. “Jaime, I didn’t know you were here,” she murmured as she wrapped her arms around him from behind, “You weren’t with Robert and the rest of the basketball team.”

Jaime sighed as he pried her hands off of him and dropped them back to her sides mindful of all the people that were moving in, out, and around the kitchen getting and making drinks, “I only just got here a short while ago and wasn’t hanging out with the basketball team.”

Cersei frowned prettily and crossed her arms, “Who were you with then?” Her eyes tracked down to the purple, bubbling drink and her nose wrinkled, “What the hell is that?”

Jaime smirked fondly as he fingered the rim of the glass, “An Italian soda.”

“At a Baratheon Bash?”

“Right?” Jaime chuckled, “But it’s what she wants.”

“She?” Cersei hissed as her eyes flashed up to him. Bottles clinked and plastic rings snapped around them.

“Brienne,” Jaime said, “Brienne Tarth. You know, the very tall woman you very nearly accosted at the café?”

Cersei seemed to freeze as her lips pressed into a thin line and her eyes lit up in fury. Her perfectly tapered fingers curled up into fists and just when Jaime thought that she was going to hit him, all at once, Cersei relaxed. “Oh. Of course. Brienne Tarth. It's quite hard to forget a woman with such a... striking figure like her."

Jaime's eyes narrowed, "It is." He knew that he meant those words in a completely different way than his sister meant them.

"We grew up with her, didn't we?"

"We did."

"Fascinating," Cersei murmured. Someone stepped on a plastic glass, another person crushed a can.

Jaime frowned, "I suppose." This whole conversation was weird.

"Do you mind getting me a glass of—"

"Red wine?"

"You remember."

"Of course I remember," Jaime muttered, utterly perplexed, "It's not like I'm suddenly going to forget."

Cersei gave him a smile, "You seem to be forgetting other things Jaime."

"Like what Cersei?" he asked as he maneuvered around the drinks' table and the people to pour her a glass of red. 

"Like what's important."

Jaime sighed as he slid the full glass of wine towards her, "I think you need to figure out what's important."

"Are you planning on spending the whole entire night with her?”

Jaime eyed her warily, “No. She has other friends and I was planning on finding some guys on the team… eventually.”

Cersei swayed on the spot a little bit and nodded, “Okay.”

“Okay?” Jaime wondered.

Cersei smiled at him prettily, “Have a fun night brother.”

Jaime paused for a second to stare at her suspiciously, “Yeah… uh… you too.”

Cersei beamed at him as she took a sip of her ruby liquid, “Oh don’t worry. I will.”

* * *

When Jaime made it back to where he had last seen Brienne, Renly and Loras were still there, but were joined by Sansa instead and Brienne was no where to be seen. “Where’s Brienne?” Jaime asked looking around and taking a sip from his second beer. The condensation on the glass of the blueberry Italian soda balanced precariously in his cast hand was running down inside of the plaster and the cold made him want to shiver.

Renly looked at the drink perplexed. “Blueberry,” he stated.

Jaime stared back, “Uh, yeah. What of it?”

“That’s Brienne’s favourite,” Renly said, his voice sounding robotic.

“I figured. It’s what she ordered the other day at the café.”

Loras looked at him alarmed, “But didn’t you make her a rose Italian soda?”

Jaime’s nose wrinkled, “That sounds horrible, who wants to drink a flower?”

Sansa’s eyes flickered between the three of them, “Renly, Loras, what’s going on?”

Renly seemed to snap out of his stupor and flickered his eyes from the drink to Jaime’s face, “Um, a guy came over earlier saying that you got pulled away and that you told him to deliver Brienne her Italian soda,” Renly explained.

“He then came back a couple minutes later and said that you were caught up with something and needed Brienne’s help. He said that he could show her where you were. Brienne agreed so easily we thought that he must have been one of your friends or something,” Loras continued as he looked around them for a tall blonde, “They literally just left before Sansa got here.”

Jaime swallowed as a cold dread began to slither down his spine. “Did she drink from the drink?" Renly and Loras both nodded. "Did she seem tired?” he asked hoarsely.

Renly and Loras looked at each other before Renly murmured, “Yeah but… she’s always tired these days and…”

Sansa grabbed both Loras’ and Renly’s hands and urgently asked, “Did you know who the guy was? Can you describe him?”

Both Loras and Renly shook their heads, “No. I mean, I didn’t take note,” Renly seemed to be panicking and turned to Loras desperately, “Please tell me you took note.”

Loras shook his head violently, “He was just a guy. He had a shitty unkempt beard, looked plain, nothing distinguishing.”

Jaime felt his throat close up as the glass in his hand slipped out of his grip and shattered on the floor, spilling sweet, purple soda over the floor and all of their shoes.

That was when Addam barrelled onto the scene with Bronn in tow. Both of them breathing like they had just run a marathon and Addam looking like he had just witnessed a murder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it got super serious... but I am so pleased with how much of a dork Jaime is in the first part... He just so wants an adorable and romantic relationship along with a really sexual one haha. But also at the same time, I am never able to write any of my romances completely seriously and sometimes (though rarely) it bugs me cause I feel it gets cracky. Love drives you crazy though I guess? Hopefully, it's not too cracky for anyone!
> 
> This might be the death of dork Jaime though :(.
> 
> Next chapter is going to be a long one guys.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS AND THEREFORE 'SPOILERS' AHEAD FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER
> 
> No acts of sexual violence are described particularly explicitly (though I understand everyone had their own limits when it comes to this). Trigger Warnings: Sexual Assault, Attempted Rape, Discussion of Aftermath (Legal and Psychological). This will be reiterated before the start of the next chapter.


	13. Hear Me Roar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jaime breaks down some doors and is presented with a fundamental truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS:
> 
> No acts of sexual violence are described explicitly (though I understand everyone had their own limits when it comes to this). Trigger Warnings: Sexual Assault, Attempted Rape, Discussion of Aftermath (Legal and Psychological).

“Jaime! Thank the Seven we finally found you,” Addam wheezed as he tried to catch his breath. He grabbed Bronn's shoulder and shook it harshly while pointing at Jaime, who was still shell shocked from the news that Brienne was _missing_ , “Bronn, explain. Now.”

“Shit. Fuck.” Bronn huffed as he tried to catch his breath. He shoved Addam away from him and brought a hand to his chest. The shark fin on the top of his head clonked onto the floor as Bronn heaved, “It was just a stupid bet. It was supposed to be fucking harmless. You have to believe me Jaime.”

Jaime stared at his two friends, “What? What the fuck are you talking about Bronn?”

Bronn swallowed air as he tried to meet Jaime's eyes, but couldn't, “You know how I told you I had a really good bet brewing on the books?” Jaime nodded slowly, a roiling fury burgeoning in his gut. The dread twisting around his spine coalesced into shards of ice. There would only be one reason, one person, that Addam would seek him out after finding out about one of Bronn's bets. And she was _missing_. “It was a stupid bet, but with a high reward. It was proposed two weeks into the start of the semester... before you... Lots of money was put in the—“

“Fucking get on with it!” Jaime bellowed as he surged forward, grabbed Bronn’s collar, and hulled him so that they were face to face. Jaime made Bronn meet his eye, "Spit it out Blackwater!"

“First one to kiss Brienne the Beauty was gonna get like fifty dragons and then the pot just kept fucking growing!” Bronn cowered as Jaime's eyes flashed and he reared back his right arm. A joke. His friend and a bunch of idiots had turned kissing Brienne into a fucking _joke_.

Addam grabbed Jaime’s arm before he could do any damage, “Jaime! I know you want to knock him out, but you have to let him finish!” Jaime's eyes snapped up to stare at Addam. Addam winced and gestured his head at Bronn.

“Let him finish?” Sansa asked, sounding horrified, "Please don't tell me..." She started to hyperventilate as Renly’s eyes widened and Loras gnashed his teeth together.

“I don’t know when exactly it happened. I never would have booked this, you have to believe me Jaime. I only found out tonight from one of the guys involved, Owen Inchfield, but the terms of the bet changed and the stakes, the pot, got exponentially higher. I think it was sometime last week, something about someone already getting a kiss from her, and—“

“What did I say about getting on with it?” Jaime roared. He didn't care that people around them were starting to stare. Bronn was wasting _time_. Time where Brienne could be anywhere, with anyone. _Because of him_ , his mind whispered. The bet had escalated because she had kissed _him_.

“First one to fuck Brienne the Beauty before the end of the Baratheon Bash gets _at least_ five thousand dragons. No terms were put in place, no conditions... no restrictions...” Bronn muttered quickly knowing, just knowing, that all hell was about to break loose.

Addam nearly wasn’t able to stop Jaime from beating Bronn bloody, but Renly jumped in to help hold Jaime back, “Who did it?” Renly demanded urgently as his grip tightened around Jaime's cast, “Who put five thousand dragons into the pot?”

Bronn clenched his teeth as he looked Jaime right in the eye, “Your sister.”

* * *

Jaime, Renly, Loras, Addam, and even Bronn immediately began to tear through the mansion looking for Brienne. Her phone, if it was still on her, but Jaime couldn't fathom the thought that it wasn't, told them that she was still on Baratheon property. Sansa, instead, rushed off to find her older brother, her cousin, their friend, and anyone else they could trust to help.

Jaime hadn’t asked for permission, but he was sure Renly would forgive him for breaking down doors that were locked if no one opened them within five seconds of his continuous knocking. Jaime had found several groups doing lines, discovered where Oberyn was holding his pit of vipers themed orgy, and broken six latches when he ran back into Cersei on the second floor.

"Jaime, you look quite flustered," Cersei smiled at him again, that same too innocent, too sweet smile she had given him in the kitchen.

With sudden clarity Jaime realized that Cersei hadn't just put money into the pot, but that she knew where Brienne was. With near tunnel vision, Jaime marched up to his sister and rammed her against the nearest wall using all of his will power not to just choke her out right then and there in his fury. “Where the fuck is she Cersei?” Jaime hissed his left hand closing down on her upper arm hard enough to bruise while his right hand clutched at her opposite shoulder, pressing the plaster of his cast into her.

“I don't know what you’re talking about Jaime,” Cersei said with a sneer twisting her face and for the first time, Jaime saw just how ugly she had become. This Cersei was nothing like the one that he had loved. The lovely, caring, broken hearted girl who had just lost her mother, effectively lost her father, and hated, for some reason blamed her imperfect little brother.

“You know who exactly I'm talking about. Tell me where she is!” Jaime demanded as he resisted the urge to slam her whole entire body up against the wall until she broke, “You can’t let this kind of shit happen Cersei. This is going way too far.”

Cersei’s eyes hardened as she hissed at him, “You never should have left me Jaime. Not for her, not for anyone. It was us. It was us against the world after mom died. You and me! I never would have done it if you hadn't tried to end it!” Although her eyes never wavered, her voice had broken by the end. She sounded so close to tears even though her lashes were dry. It was how Cersei had always expressed her emotions. She couldn't cry, but that didn't mean that she wasn't sad and Jaime _knew_ that. He knew that.

Jaime growled as he closed his eyes tight and then opened them again with resolve. Cersei wasn't the be all and end all anymore. Jaime thought of his conversation with Brienne in her jeep. Cersei hadn't been for a long time. “You can’t have everything Cersei. You can’t have everything and expect to give nothing. You can't say it's been just you and me when there's been Robert and Euron and whoever the fuck else there was. We can't be willfully blind anymore like when we were kids and even say it was just us after mom. There was Tyrion. And even if he was the worst, there was dad. You have your friends. I have my friends. But even so, fuck, I loved you," Jaime's heart beat erratically in his chest, "I loved you with all my heart. I would have given you everything if all you had done was love me back.”

Cersei eyes wavered and her voice rose higher in pitch, although the volume kept their conversation between them, “I do love you Jaime! You're everything! Everyone else just passes by. But you and me. We're forever.”

“No you don’t!” Jaime wanted to shout as he held up his cast, “If you had loved me, you would have texted me, or for the love of the Seven _called_! You certainly wouldn’t be doing this right now. Gods, even if you wanted to hurt me, then hurt _me_. Why the fuck did you have to drag Brienne into this?”

“Because you were leaving me for her!” Cersei cried as she fisted her hands into his shirt, “Because you were leaving me for her and now I'm alone!”

Jaime shook his head vehemently, “No Cersei. By the time she had me, I had already left you. No, that's not even right. You were independent. I was independent. We didn't _need_ each other anymore. So we drifted. There was no destiny, no soulmates, no nothing. I couldn't leave you for her because I wasn't _with_ you any longer. Not that way. Not the way I want to be with Brienne.” Cersei lurched as she looked up into Jaime’s eyes, searching him, searching herself. Emerald met emerald. But they were different cuts of gems. They were not mirrors. Jaime was close to crying, but Cersei’s eyes were dry even now, even as he saw her understand. “I told you that I’d always love you because you’re my sister, my twin Cersei. Mom's death hit us hard and we found each other and we carried each other when we needed each other the most. And I promised myself I would never forget that. How much we needed each other then. But if you let this happen… I won’t be able to do even that anymore.”

Only now did her eyes begin to glisten, but there were still no tears and she didn’t cry. She never cried. Not for him. Finally, Cersei slumped in his arms and he released the bruising hold he had on her. She quietly and guiltily murmured, “Even if I contributed to the pot to make it more likely for someone to want to fuck her... it's just sex Jaime. If you really feel this way about her, then why should it matter than you're not her first?”

And for a second, Jaime felt like there were warring worlds in the part of his heart that remembered how he had loved Cersei. What for him had been a monumental act of love had been for her _just sex_.

But that also implied that she had at least _wanted_ every man that she had bedded, that she believed that Brienne was in a situation where she _wanted_ what was happening to her.

But Brienne didn't... or at least that choice had been taken away from her.

“This is fucking rape Cersei!”

Cersei's eyes widened at that, shocked as she realized the gravity of the situation, the consequences of her actions, how it had all spun beyond her control. Jaime jerked as he realized that Cersei hadn’t expected how far someone would go to win the bet, that she hadn't meant for Brienne's choice to be taken away from her. It had never occurred to Cersei that anyone could force Brienne, Brienne who had a legendary body check, the woman who had taken down every opponent she had ever come across, to do something she didn't want to do. She had never intended Brienne to be raped.

Cersei told him where Brienne was.

* * *

Jaime sent a text to Addam and Bronn, the only two numbers he had of those in the search party, and then slipped his phone into his pocket. Jaime approached Robert’s bedroom door, and put his full weight into his kick. The base of his foot landed right in between the doorknob and the frame. He could feel the wood of the box and under the strike plate give. The door swung open with a crash.

Jaime froze.

Inside Ronnet Connington was hovering over Brienne working at her belt. Ronnet looked up at Jaime's entrance and hissed, “Back the fuck off Lannister." Brienne's shirt and bra were already pushed up over her breasts and even off one of her shoulders. Dark purple bruises wrapped around her wrists, forearms, ribs, and hips and a large dark bruise was forming on her left shoulder. Ronnet noticed where Jaime's gaze had landed, "Bruises like a hairy, rotten peach, doesn't she? Bitch tried to get a good hit on me when she realized I wasn't bringing her to you..." There was even a bruise blooming where Jaime had playfully punched her earlier. She seemed to be barely conscious, making sounds of pain and confusion as her hands pushed weakly at Connington’s own. On the floor was her mostly finished rose Italian soda, soaking into the dirty rug, ice cubes melting in the glass. "..Thank the Seven that she was properly tranquilized. Think the beast still almost broke my collarbone." Ronnet whipped her belt free from the loops and it slashed across her stomach. Brienne whimpered in pain, recoiled at the strike of the leather and her eyes fluttered. "What are you doing still standing there Lannister? Get the fuck out. I don't want you watching me fuck a bear,” Ronnet snapped. Her skin turned red and then purpled right before Jaime's eyes. "You can have her after if you want. Though I don't know why you would. The pot's already mine." Brienne's terrified sapphire blue gaze met Jaime’s feverish one and she reached out for him.

All of Jaime's senses came back to him at once and _he saw red_.

Before Jaime processed what he was doing, Ronnet Connington was on the floor with Jaime on top of him wailing at his face. Jaime registered the feeling of teeth ripping through skin and hands grappling at him and Ron’s body bucking to try and get him off, but Jaime only had one goal. _Murder_. He didn't care if he was done in for murder that night.

Suddenly, Jaime felt multiple pairs of hands grab at him and drag him off Ronnet’s unconscious body. Sound returned to his world as he realized that everyone: Addam, Bronn, Renly, Loras, Sansa, Robb Stark, Jon Snow, and Theon Greyjoy were in the room.

It had taken the full efforts of Addam, Bronn, and Theon to drag Jaime off of Ronnet. Renly and Loras both went over to check and to make sure that Ronnet was still breathing although it was obvious that Renly wanted nothing more than to throw the bastard out of the third story window. Ronnet had a couple teeth missing, and a broken nose but was other wise alive. That was when Jaime realized he had only managed to land about five hits before the others had gotten to him. Jaime immediately turned his focus to Brienne who Sansa was fussing over and Jon had thrown Robert’s blanket on top of to cover her up.

Jaime shook off the three guys, whom warily relinquished their hold on him, and immediately went to Brienne’s side, forgetting Ronnet, because Ronnet didn't matter. Brienne mattered and Brienne had been _terrified_. “Is she okay?” Jaime turned to Brienne and reached out for her. He stopped before he touched her, not knowing what to do, "Are you okay?" Jaime asked choked, feeling like a fool as the answer couldn’t have possibly been yes.

Brienne had no response. Sansa looked up at him with wide, wet eyes. She had no response. It was Jon who ended up replying as he held two fingers to Brienne’s pulse at the base of her jaw and stared at his watch. “Her heart rate seems okay. We should probably phone the police though and—“

Brienne weakly grabbed Jon’s arm, “No.” It was a whisper, barely audible.

Jaime saw tears pooling in her eyes. Jon swallowed and placed his own hand on top of hers, slowly and gently, “Brienne, it’s the best thing to do in this situation,” he said softly.

Brienne shook her head faintly, “No. They… won’t… won’t believe it Jon.” Sansa started crying, great heaving sobs that shook her whole body. Jon put a reassuring hand soothingly on the top of Brienne’s head and looked up to try and find another voice of reassurance.

“There is a lot of evidence Brienne, witnesses; they can get a conviction from this," Robb said, "We can probably even test for Rohypnol in your drink.” He carefully picked up the tipped over glass of Italian soda from the edge of the base and shook it. There was still some ice and liquid left inside. That was when Jaime remembered that Jon was a full-fledged cop and Robb was in law school.

Brienne continued to shake her head as tears pooled. “Big… Brienne… the… Beauty. No. Too strong… can’t possibly… must have wanted…” Her eyes fluttered closed and then she opened them wet with tears. “Please,” she begged. Sansa bawled in wrecked understanding as she clutched the blanket around Brienne, the fabric bunching in her fists. The guys behind Jaime all shuffled around not knowing what to do as Jon and Robb looked at Ronnet with a calculating gaze. Jaime had never felt more useless in his life.

Bronn coughed, “Listen to the lady.” Both Jon and Robb turned to him with steely gazes and Jaime couldn’t help but glare as well. “It sucks, but it’s the society we live in. I mean,” Bronn placated with clenched teeth as he saw that Sansa was going to tear him into shreds, “That if she wanted to go forward with it, we should all support her to the ends of the Earth. This was fucked up, and I know fucked up. But she doesn’t want to move forward with it. We shouldn’t make that decision for her and we shouldn’t make her.”

Theon shifted, “Robb,” Theon appealed, “It _would_ mean throwing her on the witness stand again and again and again,” he said carefully, “And if she was okay with that, then as he said, all fore. I’ll go on that witness stand too, but you _know_ it’s more complicated than that. Even if it shouldn’t be. You’ve told me about the case studies and we’ve all heard about those horrible acquittals in the news.”

“Can you still process all the stuff?” Loras asked as he unceremoniously dropped Ronnet’s head onto the floor with a loud thunk, “Just in case she changes her mind tomorrow morning when she’s sober or in the future and wants to seek charges?”

Robb looked at Jon and Jon nodded, “I’ll figure something out.”

“I’ll make sure that no one comes in here until you’re done,” Renly muttered as he swept his eyes across the room.

“Even Robert?” Addam asked.

Renly’s eyes flashed, “Especially Robert.”

Sansa softly ran her finger’s through Brienne’s hair and articulated between her tears, “Is that okay Brienne?”

Brienne turned to her and nodded wearily. Jaime felt the hot burn of tears at the corner of his eyes as he tried to choke back his own frustration. Renly slid to Brienne’s side, “Do you want me to get you home?” he asked.

Brienne shook her head, “No… dad… not another...” she whispered brokenly.

Renly nodded in understanding, “I don’t think I’ll be able to stop Baratheon Bash so I don’t think you should stay here.”

“Mom will freak out if we bring Brienne home in this state,” Robb muttered as he dropped a hand on Sansa’s shoulder before she could open her mouth to volunteer, “Brienne might not want her to know either.” Brienne gave a slight nod.

With a dry mouth Jaime suggested, “I can get her a hotel room to stay at tonight and tomorrow. Anything she needs.” He hadn't been able to do anything else to help her. He could easily do this.

“She’ll need someone to check up on her frequently,” Theon said as he assessed the situation, “She might forget some events from the evening and if she does and wakes up in a completely unfamiliar environment alone…well…”

“If she needs someone to stay with her I can get a conjoined room or something,” Jaime immediately volunteered. He would buy out the closest hotel if she needed.

“Jaime, if you’re going to suggest that, why don’t you just bring her back to your place?” Addam suggested.

Jaime looked at him as though he had grown a second head, “I don’t think that she would want to be alone with me in my apartment after—“

“Jaime…” Brienne murmured groggily as she touched him with the tips of her fingers. Jaime turned to look at her as she gave him a weak smile, “I trust you.”

Jaime didn’t even give himself a chance to think. He just nodded quickly and pulled out his phone. He opened the MoBaelish app. Renly regarded him and then looked over to Brienne who gave him a teary look. He sighed as he brushed her hair off of her forehead, “Send a message to the driver to meet us at the back door. It’s a bit closer and there will be less people hanging around.” Jaime nodded again and ordered a Premium MoBaelish. Once he was matched with a driver, he slowly typed out the message and hit send hoping that even with the inevitable spelling mistakes it was still decipherable. The driver immediately confirmed that he had received the instruction, which Jaime slowly read, and then Jaime slipped his phone back into his back pocket.

“We’ll try to clear as many people as we can on the path to the back door,” Addam said as he gestured to Bronn to follow him out of the room.

Bronn nodded, “And we’ll distract everyone else when you guys head down.” They exited.

Jon went from Brienne’s side over to Ronnet Connington and started to pat down his pockets. He found what he was looking for and held up a bottle with a couple remaining pills, “Rohypnol, no prescription. We can probably throw him in jail tonight under probable cause. We can say we didn’t find anyone inflicted and maybe that meant they made it safely home. I’ll make up something about his injuries. Theon, help me figure out how we’re going to hull him out. I’ll call someone on shift to bring an unmarked car.”

Renly rubbed his face with both hands, “Gods I hope no one else has been drugged. I think I’m going to have to go break down all of the doors before I drive myself crazy. Gods I could have stopped this from happening.”

Loras grabbed Renly’s forearm and squeezed firmly but not painfully, “This wasn’t your fault Renly, okay?” Renly looked up at him for a long moment and then nodded.

Jaime grunted as he glared at the dirty rug, “It’s fucking mine.”

“Jaime…” Brienne murmured quietly as she stared straight into his soul and reached for him again. His lips quivered as he took her hand and kissed the side of her pinky, his face now covered in tears.

The two guys turned to Jaime. Renly said, “It’s not yours either. You know that right?”

Jaime curled his lips in as he thought about Cersei, and the bet, and why she had escalated it in the first place. He felt like he couldn’t reply. Loras’s eyebrows pulled together, “Seriously man. He used your name, but we know that has nothing to do with you.”

“It’s his fault,” Sansa said resolutely. Jaime turned and saw that Sansa was motioning with her head to where Jon was making a call and Theon was working out the best way to carry Connington out of the bedroom. “He did this. This is his fault. No one made him go this far.” 

Robb grabbed Jaime's shoulder, “Make sure she’s okay tonight Jaime. That's all you're responsible for.”

Jaime swallowed as he took in the support of the people all around him. It wasn't just Brienne who trusted him. He didn't know why, but he wasn't going to question it. “I will.”

Sansa then turned to Renly, “Keep your eye out for three guys named Hyle Hunt, Ed Ambrose, and Ben Bushy. They were friends with Ronnet and seemed to be in the same mind set when it came to the bet.”

Renly breathed out a sigh of frustration. Loras latched onto Renly’s hand, “I’ll go help you break down some doors. I think I know those three. They went to Highgarden High with me.”

Renly rested his cheek on Loras’s shoulder and closed his eyes, “Between the two of us hopefully we’ll be able to make sure they aren’t causing more harm.” Loras gathered Renly up in his arms for a tight hug and kissed him on the forehead. After a moment of respite between the two they nodded at the remaining people and exited the room.

Jon hung up his phone, “There’s a car just a block over. They were expecting an incident here tonight, not of this nature... but you know, Baratheon Bash. Let’s get Ronnet down.” He looked over at Theon and they both hefted up the unconscious body of Ronnet Connington between the two of them.

Jaime’s phone chirped in his pocket telling him the MoBaelish was arriving. “Do you think you can walk?” Sansa asked as she placed her hands gently on Brienne’s shoulder and torso. Brienne nodded as she tried to push herself off the bed and managed to get herself to her elbows before her strength failed her. Jaime caught her before she fell all the way back. Sansa quickly tried to pull Brienne’s bra and shirt over her as best as she could while also holding the blanket up, but the clothing wasn’t going back on quite right. Tears dripped off of Sansa’s chin as she fixated on all the bruises.

“Here,” Jaime said as he gently laid Brienne back down and shrugged off his bomber jacket, “It’s pretty big on me so it should fit on you.”

Brienne looked over at him with half lidded eyes. She nodded. Robb rushed over to help Jaime stabilize Brienne as she sat up again and Sansa pulled the jacket around her. In lieu of trying to get Brienne’s arms into the sleeves, Brienne simply crossed her arms over her torso and Sansa zipped the jacket around her whole entire body. Jaime blinked in surprise. The jacket was a lot bigger on her than he thought it would be.

“I’ll help you carry her down,” Robb said.

Jaime shook his head, “I’m strong enough.” And although Jaime knew that he was strong enough, and he _was_ strong enough, when he placed casted arm under Brienne’s shoulder and his other arm under her knees and launched himself to his feet with Brienne securely in his grasp, he nearly over balanced because she was a lot lighter than he had expected as well.

Sansa fluttered a little bit while wiping at the tears on her face with the sleeves of her cardigan, “Are you okay Brienne?”

Brienne nodded and nestled into the soft, worn cotton of Jaime’s T-shirt. “Safe,” she said and with that she fell asleep.

Sansa looked up at him with still teary, but warm eyes, “That’s good,” she said, but Jaime didn’t know whom she was talking to.

Robb ended up joining Addam and Bronn in distracting people as they hustled down the back stairs and out the back door. There were a couple stares but for the most part they weren’t bothered and when they were, one of the three guys jumped right in to divert the attention. To most people they probably looked like they were getting two drunk party goers home.

Ronnet was thrown into the back of an unmarked police cruiser with little care and Jon climbed into the front seat. A few minutes after, Robb came jogging out of the house with the glass that now only held extremely diluted soda and rose syrup.

Sansa opened the back door of the MoBaelish for Jaime. Jaime gently shuffled inside the car and tenderly placed Brienne in a seat with her head against the window. Sansa pulled Jaime’s belt loop and he turned around and saw that Sansa was holding out her cardigan for him and he nodded at her in appreciation. He pillowed Brienne’s head against the glass. “Thanks little Cat.”

Sansa worried her lower lip with her teeth and handed Jaime back his phone too, which she had stolen out of his pocket, “I programmed my number in there along with Renly’s. Please give us updates. Tell Brienne I’ll have her stuff. And um… if it’s okay…” Sansa hesitated, “Tomorrow… um…” Jaime waved his hand at her and started gradually typing on his phone.

“Can you confirm what I wrote?”

Sansa’s phone beeped and she took it out of her pocket. An unknown number had sent her an address. Sansa let out a breath and reprogramed the contact to Jaime Lannister and recited to him his address. He nodded at her with a small, forced smile. “Thank you Jaime," Sansa whispered as she held her phone to her heart, "You saved her.”

“I wouldn’t go that far little Cat.”

Sansa reached out and clasped the fingers sticking out of his cast, “I _would_ go that far. And I'm not just talking about you kicking down that door either. If you hadn’t come back with Brienne’s drink when you did and made it so glaringly obvious you _knew_ what flavor syrup she preferred, from one date no less, then we might not have gotten there on time. Gods, you _were_ the first one who found her. It _could_ have been worse,” Sansa started to sob as the tears that had dried once again ran freely down her face, “It could have been so much worse. So really thank you, thank you for loving my best friend. Thank you for falling in love with Brienne.”

“What?” Jaime asked startled as he met Sansa's steady eyes.

Sansa gave him a sympathetic look and then closed the car door. Immediately Brienne tipped away from the window and fell against him, her head on his shoulder and the sound of her breathing in his ear as the MoBaelish pulled away from the Baratheon Mansion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this wasn't a hard chapter to write during the first draft, but damn if it hasn't been a fucking hard chapter to edit and revise ever since. It is still probably the chapter that I am the most unsure about mainly because it's so heavy and I am in no way a professional. 
> 
> Usually the Modern AU version of the bet kind of goes this way (though maybe not to the same extremes), but it's often set in the far past. I thought it would be interesting to explore how it would affect the JB dynamic if it happened after they met. The movie/book also had a scene that very, very, very loosely mapped to an event similar to this, so another reason why I chose to explore it. 
> 
> I hope how I've dealt with the situation has been appropriate. Everyone handles sexual assault differently and this is how I interpret Brienne would handle it (from Jaime's POV). We're going to get more into Brienne's head next chapter when she wakes up in Jaime's apartment. I'm sorry I wasn't able to give her more of a voice this chapter.


	14. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where in Brienne wakes up in Jaime's apartment the morning after.

Jaime woke up with a start the next morning to the feeling of her head shuffling against him. “Brienne?” He rubbed his eyes and mentally berated himself for falling asleep. He had planned to stay up the whole night to be awake when she woke, to make sure that she was okay, and to run off if she didn’t feel comfortable having him so near.

“Jaime?” she questioned as she sat up from where her head had been pillowed on his lap. Brienne blinked blearily as her gaze swept around the unfamiliar bedroom, “Where am I?”

Jaime stretched his arms to the sky and then tilted his head back and forth to crack his stiff neck. He regarded her warily as she blinked doe-eyed at the world, uncomprehending of her environment. “You’re at my apartment,” he said gently, watching her turn to him with groggy eyes, “How are you feeling? Do you need anything?” She blinked slowly at him while her brain seemed to load up, still unsure of how it was that she had woken up by his side. It was good that Theon had given him the advice to keep watch of her. The drug had really slowed her processes down.

Brienne turned her head to look around his bedroom again while worrying her hands through his sheets. When she finally saw the bruises on her arms she paused, “Oh…" he saw the memories return from the look on her face, "Right.” She slowly began to flush as she kept her gaze down and away from him. 

He wanted to hold her. He wanted to do something to stop the horror and pain that was invading her, but he didn't know what. Again he felt so useless. Jaime wanted to reach out and touch her, but he didn’t know how. Last time he had a week to plan. Last time he had a memory of a kiss on his side. This time it was not the same. Everything had changed. “I can… I can make us some coffee if you'd like.”

Brienne nodded absently as the expression on her face told him that she was going through the remnants of her memories from the previous night. She frowned slightly as her eyes flickered to him before they flickered back to her lap. He noticed that tears were beginning to gather on her lashes, “I’m sorry for taking up your bed,” she grimaced, “That was very poor of me.”

Before he knew what he was doing, Jaime scrambled to his knees to get in front of her. He still didn’t know what to do with his hands so he set them on the mattress a hair’s width away from hers, “No, no, no… wench.” That brought a small smile to her face. She could still smile. Relief washed through him. She could still smile her amazing sun raising smile. “There’s plenty of space and anyways, I was going to drag in a spare air mattress… Uh Theon Greyjoy told me to watch over you and I was too worried to be in the other room and—“

“Where’s the air mattress?” Brienne asked as she once again wrung her hands, not looking at him, the smile gone, “You were sleeping sitting up.”

Jaime gave her a hopeless look, “Sorry. That was my intention, but you wouldn’t let go of my shirt after I unzipped the jacket to give you some air, you were sweating a lot, and so I uh… yeah.” He wasn't going to tell her that she had also called his name in her restless sleep when he had tried to disengage her from him. There was already so much for her to take in and something she said while unconscious was hardly of import. But after that, he couldn't leave her then.

Brienne nodded in understanding as she flushed redder. “Oh gods,” she muttered as she buried her face in her hands, “You saw me naked.”

Jaime winced, “Not naked,” he said slowly. Carefully.

“Gods, that must have been horrendous,” Brienne muttered as she curled into herself.

“It was!” And then Jaime realized how that sounded, “No, shit. It wasn’t horrendous. The fucking situation was horrendous. Not you. You weren’t horrendous. Fuck!” Jaime clenched his jaw, as he desperately grappled for the right words, “What I mean to say is that I normally wouldn’t uh… I definitely wouldn’t normally complain, opposite of complain really, about seeing you shirtless, but not in that context. Never in that context.” He had fucked it. He had definitely fucked it.

Brienne slid her hands down her face and looked at him over the tips of her fingers. Her sapphire eyes finally met his and they seemed like they were searching his soul, “What?” she whispered. He wondered what she had found.

Jaime dropped his head in defeat, “I’m going to make that coffee. The washroom is across the way. I’ll make sure there’s an extra toothbrush in there for you and uh… if you want a shower…”

Brienne nodded slowly as she continued to regard him. He wished he could read her mind, wished that he knew exactly what to say, what to do to make her feel better, “I’d like a shower.”

“Then I’ll put out a towel and a change of clothes for you.”

Brienne nodded again and Jaime climbed off the bed. He walked over to his wardrobe and pulled out his most comfortable sweatshirt, a nice pair of comfy sweats, and a pair of boxers just in case she wanted them. He squirmed as he pulled out a change of clothes for himself too, wondering if it would be weird to give her a pair of his boxers to wear, but he tried to reason that she could just _not_ wear them if she thought it was weird.

He clamoured out of the bedroom and stumbled into the bathroom where he found a clean, dry towel and a face cloth then dug out an extra toothbrush, which just so happened to be blue. He spent an unreasonable amount of time wondering what had possessed him to buy an extra blue toothbrush a week ago, but banished the thought lest it lead him where he didn't need to be right now. It wasn't the right time to think about that. He set the pile of things on the counter and then grabbed a cloth bag for her dirty clothes, which he folded and placed on top of the pile of stuff. Then he rearranged everything on the countertop so that it was obvious where the soap, toothpaste, and deodorant was. He quickly showered, rearranging everything in there too, and then brushed his teeth with his red toothbrush. He always bought red toothbrushes for himself.

After, he managed to get to the kitchen with no further incident and began brewing some coffee. He heard rather than saw Brienne exit his bedroom and go into the bathroom. He hoped that giving her some time to herself was the right thing to do. He didn’t want her to feel like he was crowding her although his heart stuttered in worry.

His hands shook as he opened his fridge to observe its contents. There were none. He had forgotten he had been living at Addam’s since catching Cersei with Euron. His stomach flipped and he felt nauseous at the thought of Cersei. A feeling he had never associated with her before, not even after he had ended it with her. He leaned forward to rest his forehead on the top freezer door and took in two deep breaths to try and surpress the urge to hurl.

How the hell had he gone from loving a monster like Cersei to loving someone like Brienne?

Because Sansa _hadn’t_ been mocking him.

She had simply pointed out a fundamental truth that he hadn’t yet deigned to acknowledge, hadn’t yet realized until he had fallen so far and was in so deep. More than that, he knew he didn’t want to get out.

He was in love with Brienne.

He was so, so, so in love with Brienne.

What a time to realize.

Jaime sighed as he shut his refrigerator door and pulled out his phone to find a take out app. There had to be a place that delivered a good, or at least half decent breakfast.

Instead, Jaime swiped to his rarely used messaging app and began to slowly text Sansa and Renly.

 _She’s awake. She doesn’t seem to be reacting too badly, but I don’t think she’s fully comprehended what happened yet. It might be a good idea to come over soon._ Was the fundamental crux of what he wrote, spelling errors and sentence structure problems galore, and immediately a burst of messages from both other parties came binging back. He tried to suppress his anxiety as the sheer amount of writing quickly overwhelmed him. It was obvious that Brienne had kept her word and hadn't told a soul about his dyslexia. For once he wished that she was less good of a person.

Jaime squinted at his phone as he processed the general idea of what Renly and Sansa were rapid fire communicating to each other and him. Jon and a select couple of people had returned to Robert’s room as soon as the party had died down to collect evidence. Ronnet Connington had apparently been howling in the cells all night. No one else’s drinks had been laced with Rohypnol, but Renly and Loras had come across other situations concerning dubious consent, which they had dealt with swiftly.

Unsurprisingly to Jaime, but surprisingly to everyone else, Oberyn had been furious about the fact that anyone had questioned whether all of the people in his orgy had given anything less than an enthusiastic and ongoing yes. There was a lot of talk in the chat brainstorming about how to get everyone at the next party to think like Oberyn. Jaime felt like that wasn’t _quite_ the right way to frame the concept considering thinking like Oberyn also meant carrying a plethora of sharp objects, but that was neither here nor there. The conversation was obviously giving comfort to both Sansa and Renly the morning after, so Jaime wasn’t going to say anything to the contrary.

It was eventually agreed that Renly, Loras, and Sansa would be by his place with a late lunch at two. The only message Jaime had sent after his initial one had been an _Ok_.

After the matter had been settled, Jaime finally navigated to the take out app and began narrowing down potential places to eat. When the list had been whittled down to three places he was pretty sure wouldn’t give them food poisoning and would probably even provide good food, he heard the washroom door creak open and steam drifted out along with Brienne.

She was drying the ends of her long hair as she padded towards him. Without her usual light dust of make up on, Brienne looked almost unnaturally pale. Jaime worried his teeth over his lower lip as he regarded her in concern. Fretful as he was, a rush of affection flooded him as soon as she approached him. He loved her. Gods he loved her. However, she wasn’t looking at him again. Maybe giving her space had been a terrible idea. “Thank you for all of the stuff,” she said as her eyes scanned over the expanse of his sparsely decorated apartment. When Brienne lifted her toned arms to ruffle the towel through the rest of her hair, Jaime noted the elastic of his boxer briefs sitting above the hem of his sweats. He mentally told his cock that this was not the time to stand to attention and for once it listened to him.

“Feeling better?” he asked.

Brienne sighed and climbed onto a bar stool, “Better.” She left the towel wrapped around her shoulders and traced meaningless patterns on the granite counter.

Jaime swallowed as he fiddled with the sugar container, “You don’t have to feel better you know. You can feel as shit as you want.”

Finally Brienne looked at him. Her eyes were soft, “Thanks..." she paused, "I do feel shit, but also better.”

“Not shit about yourself though, shit about the fact that someone tried to hurt you,” Jaime clarified not breaking his gaze with hers. Brienne gave a snort. “Okay?”

Brienne nodded, “Okay.”

Jaime slid his phone across the counter to her, “Choose a place to eat and whatever you want.”

“You keep trying to feed me.”

“You need to eat. You’ve lost a lot of weight.”

Brienne seemed to freeze at that and looked up at him, “Isn’t that for the better? At least people can’t call me Big Brienne anymore.”

Jaime shook his head, “You have the genes of giants in you wench, of course you're going to be big," Jaime started and then quickly added before Brienne would get the wrong idea, "And that's not a bad thing no matter what other cunts have said about you. You're an athlete. That's a great advantage to have. You're strong and I like that. I mean..." Jaime cringed, "What I’m trying to get at is that you’re definitely not eating enough to keep up your muscle mass.” One day he would have to get a handle on his motor mouth and learn to filter properly before speaking. Today was not the day. He could only pray that she wasn't misunderstanding him. He reached for the coffee pot in shame.

“Is this about my ass?” Brienne baited as the corner of her lips pulled up ever so slightly.

Jaime coughed in laughter, nearly spilling the coffee he was trying to pour into two mugs. Maybe this kind of conversation was what she needed so he went with it, “No, but it would be tragic for your fine ass to go. I remember you were proud of your physicality in high school. Even when people were jerks about it.”

“Do you remember this now?” Brienne asked amused as she clicked through the app, switching her gaze between him and the phone screen.

“All athletes like their body in some way. We work hard for it.”

“Maybe it’s just a you thing.”

“I am ripped. Glad you noticed wench,” Jaime grinned. Brienne laughed and Jaime nearly melted. It was the sweetest sound.

“My appetite is all over the place," she explained, "I can never predict when I’m going to be hungry and sometimes when I am and the food is put in front of me, suddenly I’m not.”

Jaime stared at her curiously, wondering how she had dealt with that all of high school and still managed to get stronger than everyone else at Riverlands. Then he made a mental note to wheedle her favourite kind of granola bars out of her or Sansa and have some on him at all times. It could be his new cigarette pack and lighter. “What do you take in your coffee?”

“A splash of milk.”

Jaime turned towards the fridge and then paused. He turned back around shamefaced, “Uh… shit. I don’t… I don’t have milk or cream.” He felt like an idiot.

Brienne giggled again though and handed him back his phone, “Black is fine.”

Jaime nodded sheepishly as he slid the mug her way. She took it from him gratefully and held it in both of her hands. The sleeves of his sweatshirt slid down her arms. Ronnet’s handprints were still purple around her wrists. Jaime stared at the bruises with roiling wrath building in his chest as Brienne quickly put her mug down and tugged the sleeves up so they covered half of her palms. Jaime swallowed as he tried to hold down his rage. He hoped someone had shanked Connington during the night in jail. “Do they hurt?” he asked hoarsely.

“They’re a bit tender,” Brienne said quietly as she stared at her lap and fingered the edge of her coffee mug.

Jaime grunted as he sipped from his own, “I wanted to fucking murder him.”

Brienne looked back up at him and gave him a small smile, “Is it bad that I kind of wish you did?”

“No. You don’t have to be a saint about this. You shouldn't be a saint about this. As I said, feel as shit as you need to. Feel as angry too. I’ll listen if you wanna talk about it,” Jaime stated, "You can even punch me a couple times if it'll make you feel better."

Brienne huffed appreciatively even as he saw her roll her eyes at his offer of non-sensical violence, “Thank you Jaime. Just knowing that makes… it, makes everything a lot better.”

Jaime nodded as he looked down at his phone and quickly completed the order and sent it into the ether. “Food will be here in half an hour.”

“Okay.”

“Little Cat and Renly will be here at two with lunch. Little Cat will have your things.”

Brienne smiled, “She’s the best.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, she’s always looking out for me.”

“Always?” Jaime goaded as he thought of the last time he had seen Sansa.

“Always.”

* * *

It was as they were eating breakfast that Brienne first began to talk. Jaime was pretty sure that she had deliberately waited until he had shoved the biggest mouthful of English muffin and yolky egg that he could into his mouth before starting, “I think one of the hardest things about last night was having my autonomy taken away from me,” Brienne murmured as she pushed around the contents of her plate with her fork, “I felt so powerless in that situation. I’m strong. I was an athlete. Under any other circumstance I would have laid waste to him with that one hit. But not only couldn’t I fight back, I couldn’t even make my own decisions. How is it that I couldn’t even make my own decisions? I knew you didn’t like Connington. There was no way you would have sent him to find me, but I followed him anyways...” Her knuckles turned white around her fork.

Jaime stared at her in sympathy for a full second and then with sudden lucidity he realized where she was going and started chewing like his life depended on it.

“Gods Jaime,” Brienne muttered as she dropped her fork with a clatter on the plate and buried her face in her hands as her shoulders shook. She was crying. _Brienne was crying_. “Why was I so stupid? This was all my fault for being a big, dumb, ugly slut!”

Jaime swallowed, not quite caring that there was still a chance of choking as long as he had the time to roar, “Abso-fucking-lutely not!” before he died. He coughed as pieces of muffin got lodged in his windpipe and luckily survived the whole ordeal quite easily. “What happened last night was in no way your fault! You were the _victim_ Brienne. Hell, if you’re not going to blame that fucking bastard Ronnet Connington blame anyone else. Blame Renly, blame me, but don’t you dare blame yourself.”

“Jaime but I—“

“No!”

“Jaime—“

“I’m not going to budge on this Brienne,” Jaime snarled as his left hand gripped the edge of the table and his cast banged on the surface causing everything to jump and shift, “You might be a giant, but you’re not dumb, ugly, or a slut. That’s all complete bullshit. Bullshit now, bullshit yesterday, bullshit _ever_!”

Brienne’s widened eyes watered as she stared at him, shocked at his words. Jaime felt a little bit bad for yelling at her, but still unrepentant.

He took a couple deep breaths as he tried to get his temper under control and then reached out and hesitantly touched her pinky with the tips of the fingers of his right hand, “Last night was not your fault,” he reiterated more cooly, “It wouldn’t have mattered if you had or had not landed a hit. You were drugged and even if you weren’t, you didn’t consent Brienne. It was not your fault. Period. Full stop.” Jaime explained calmly.

Brienne opened her mouth as though to say more, but then slowly it shut as she took him in. Took all of his words in.

Jaime sighed as he rubbed his temples with his free left hand, “As I said, you can always talk to me if you feel this way, but I’ll always tell you the same thing. Maybe it would actually be best if you…” Jaime paused wondering if it was inappropriate to suggest what he was going to say, but at her open look, he carried on, “If you talked to someone whose job it is to listen and tell you the right things. I think my family knows some people if you…”

Brienne gave him a soft smile as she grabbed the hand that he had touched her with. His eyes slid down to where she had made contact with his fingers and his cast, “Jaime…” her eyes watered as she also grabbed his cast hand with her other hand and then brought it all up to her cheek to nuzzle, “I hope it’s alright that I keep talking to you, even if I bring this to my therapist too.”

Jaime nodded slowly and stroked the soft skin of her cheek, “Of course. I'm here for you Brienne. _Of course._ ”

* * *

Bran invited him to play a game of Halo while he was trying to show Brienne the ropes to pass the time after they had finished breakfast. She looked rapidly back and forth between the screen and him and then smiled brightly. His heart hammered in his chest. “You went to see him!”

“Yeah, it was the most terrifying experience of my life,” Jaime chuckled as he leaned back in his seat and jostled the controller in his hands as he ran around the map trying to figure out where Brienne had gotten her character stuck.

“Catelyn is a remarkable woman isn't she?”

Jaime nodded absently as he dodged a shot Bran had fired at him and then suddenly snapped his head to look at her thunderstruck, “Don’t tell me you’re under the umbrella of her protection. By the Seven, does she consider you one of her children? Fuck, of course she considers you one of her children. You’re her fucking daughter’s best friend!” Brienne stared at him wide eyed with confusion, as Jaime recalled Catelyn's threats outside of Bran's bedroom door and nearly threw his controller across the living room in his dramatics, “Shit! And now I’m dead. Well Bran is definitely laughing at me now too,” Jaime groaned as he tipped over. He stopped before his head landed on her shoulder, but to his surprise she shifted so that his cheek landed against the strong curve. He resisted the urge to turn his face into her and nuzzle his nose into the crook of her neck.

“Uh… why are you so angry that I like Catelyn?”

“I’m not angry that you like Catelyn,” Jaime muttered petulantly as his character respawned, “ _I_ might even like Catelyn. Doesn’t mean that I’m not scared shitless of her though. I nearly killed her damn son.”

“The son you’re playing video games with now.”

“Yeah.”

“I think she’s going to let you live… for now,” Brienne teased as she finally managed to manipulate her character out from behind the pile of rocks she had gotten stuck behind.

“For now,” Jaime repeated mockingly as Bran shot him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The way that Brienne is playing Halo for the first time is the way that I play Halo all the time, with absolutely no clue how to move my character with two joysticks and therefore always ending up in the situation where I get stuck somewhere or looking at the sky while spinning merrily around.


	15. Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where in Brienne's friends bring her smiles and everyone teases Sansa.

Right at two on the dot, there was a knock. Jaime took the opportunity to dive off of the couch to get it so that Brienne would stop walloping him at Super Smash Bros. “Gods, Brienne would make a great Samus in real life,” Jaime mumbled under his breath because he had to expel it out to the ether before it tortured him to death. Brienne in full armor. Brienne kicking ass. He already knew she could do the latter, now he just had to convince her to get into the former. He wondered what she would make him do in return for that request if he ever had the balls to request it. Immediately his body put him in an even more compromising state as his mind conjured up the image of Brienne commanding him, commanding him as his mouth was buried between her thighs. Fuck the thought was hot.

Composing his face and making sure that it wasn’t too obvious where his thoughts had fallen, Jaime twisted the knob and pulled open the door. Renly promptly stuffed two giant brown bags of steaming hot take out into his hands and Jaime had to practically sprint for his kitchen counter so as not to burn off the skin of his hands, arms, and chest.

Sansa laughed at him as she swept into the apartment and looked around. “Very single man.”

“Thanks?” Jaime said with a roll of his eyes as he began pulling the cartons of Chinese out of the bag.

Renly, Loras, and Sansa took off their shoes and Brienne waved at them from the couch, her arms crossed on the back. Sansa immediately rushed for her and leapt over the back of the couch to tackle her in a bear hug. “Brienne!” she cried as she rubbed her cheek against Brienne’s cheek as she slowly slid head first to the other side.

“By the Seven Sansa!” Brienne nearly giggled as she flipped Sansa in a way so that she was completely over the back of the couch and was now sitting beside Brienne, still with her arms around her, “I’m glad to see you too.” Sansa snuggled so hard into Brienne that it looked like she was trying to become one with her friend.

“Going to have to say it’s a relief to see a smile on her face,” Loras grinned as he followed Jaime into the kitchen with two six packs in his hands, a bottle of soda under one arm, and a bottle of syrup in the other. Jaime eyed the soda and blueberry syrup and Loras put them strategically on the counter so they couldn’t be seen from the couch or dining table, “In case she asks,” Loras whispered.

Jaime nodded at Loras and then turned to Renly who was also giving Brienne a massive bear hug. The image was endearing: Sansa welded to Brienne’s side, Renly awkwardly embracing both of them by proxy, and Brienne with one arm around each person as they fussed over her. Jaime was only a little bit, just a little... maybe a lot, jealous that they could hug her so easily. “How was the rest of Baratheon Bash?” he called out.

Renly’s face looked haunted for a second before he hid it all behind a mask and snorted, “As always, the place is trashed. And as always, it was Robert’s trash friends who did it.”

Brienne smiled at Renly encouragingly as she tightened her one armed hug around him. Her arms were full of people who cared about her. Jaime could see on her face that she was acknowledging it. He wished that she had realized it under better circumstances. But that was calling the kettle black. Brienne rubbed her chin against the crown of Renly's head, “That sucks. I'm sorry.”

Renly promptly released his bear hug and cupped Brienne’s face awkwardly, staring up at her right in the eyes. She tried to stay serious as his gem-like eyes scrutinized her, but failed miserably and she let out a loud, snorty laugh as she brushed Renly’s fumbly hands off of her face. Renly gave her the biggest smile back and then rushed over to Jaime who was retrieving plates and utensils from his cupboards and drawers. “She’s smiling,” Renly pointed out under his breath.

“You’re a minute too late with the observation Renly,” Loras grinned as he pecked his boyfriend on the lips.

Jaime blinked as he set the plates on the counter, “Uh yeah.”

Renly grinned weakly at him, “Thank gods. I thought you were just a being an inappropriately horny bastard this whole time.” Jaime grimaced, he should not have released the image of Brienne as Samus into the ether after all. “But you _are_ a good person.”

Jaime’s face twisted. It was still only the day after. He _was_ being inappropriately horny. Renly was right to think he was the worst kind of bastard, so he was about to protest, but Brienne was suddenly across the bar, Sansa still on her arm, smiling at him, “Yeah, he is,” Brienne said. Renly gave Jaime a knowing grin and Jaime pursed his lips. He prayed to the Seven for the first time in years that Brienne had only heard the second part of Renly's statement. “Can I have an Italian soda with blueberry syrup? You did bring blueberry right?” Jaime and Loras gave each other a commiserative look and Jaime poured her her drink.

Sansa grinned at him wickedly. “I hope you’ve been thinking about what I said Jaime.”

Jaime’s eyes narrowed as he gestured with two fingers at his eyes and then flipped them towards Sansa, “I’m watching you little Cat.”

Sansa seemed startled by that reply and then she burst into a fit of giggles that she tried to cover up by burying her face in Brienne’s shoulder and Brienne looked between the two utterly bewildered. “Should I even ask?” Renly questioned just as baffled.

Sansa nodded her head enthusiastically as she peeked out from behind Brienne, but then only winked. Renly’s eyebrows furrowed. Sansa’s eyebrows wiggled as she flicked her gaze over to Jaime. Renly’s eyes widened. Loras scoffed as he nuzzled into Renly’s arm, “I mean obviously.”

“Do you know what these three are saying to each other?” Brienne asked Jaime as her friends looked at her far too innocently.

Jaime pursed his lips again as all three sets of eyes turned to him next, “Not a fuck of a clue,” he lied between his teeth.

* * *

Jaime and Sansa collapsed on the couch as Loras, Brienne, and Renly waved wildly at the television. “I never would have guessed that you would be the type of person to have Mario party.”

“This is my first time playing it with people my age and relative size,” Jaime snorted in amusement as he watched Loras and Renly hip check each other in real life and nearly die in the game as a result. Sansa looked at him curiously and Jaime felt the need to expand, “My little brother comes and visits sometimes. He’s a lot younger and has dwarfism. Just started high school this year.”

“You’re fond of him,” Sansa said sweetly.

Jaime laughed, “He’s fucking great, smartest kid I’ve ever known. We call him the smartest Lannister.”

“That’s nice that you have at least one good sibling.”

Jaime winced as he thought about Cersei. Cersei who had escalated the bet, Cersei who had wanted to hurt him, Cersei who had hurt Brienne… Cersei who had felt at least some remorse, “How much do you know?”

Sansa sighed as she leaned back on the couch and stared at the ceiling, “Robb ended up talking a bit to Bronn after you guys left and Bronn told him everything he knew about the bet. Robb then hunted her down—“

“He did what?”

“Oh calm down, Robb’s a diplomatic hunter, not a punch you in the face hunter. Very good strategist, doesn't help him make better decisions when it comes to relationships though. Fatal flaw and all. He almost started a feud with the Frey's once because two different girls thought they were dating him and both of them thought he had spurned him when really... he wasn't dating either somehow. Or at least that's how he tells it. No one believes him. Doesn't do well in a physical fight. Though, I will have to say, I could fully believe that Robb’s disappointment would hurt a lot more than a broken nose. He has mastered the 'disappointed in you' face. It’s worse than mom and dad’s combined.”

“That’s a terrifying thought,” Jaime shuddered.

“Right? Anyways, Cersei would have deserved whatever was coming to her.”

Jaime glared at Sansa half-heartedly, “She’s deplorable, it’s true. And she should have to pay for it. I, for one, hope that she changes her whole world view after this, but it shouldn’t be by way of physical violence. I’m being hypocritical though, I guess,” Jaime looked at his bruised knuckles and the subtle dents in his cast. He was glad his arm was basically healed. He was pretty sure the blows would have set his recovery back weeks otherwise.

Sansa pursed her lips and glowered at him before she nodded. “No. You’re right. Not like that. At least for her… maybe. We’ll see how I feel the next time I see her. Arya's been teaching me how to throw a punch. Anyways, Robb cornered her and got her talking—“

“Robb got her talking?” Jaime asked disbelievingly, “What do you mean by got her talking? Talking, talking?”

“I mean…” Sansa looked uncomfortable as she sat back up on the couch and wrung her hands, “She told him everything…”

“Everything?” Jaime questioned and shifted nervously. His gaze flickered to Brienne who was trying to avoid the gyrating couple causing calamity in the game.

“Your co-dependency on each other after your mom passed.”

“Co-dependency…” Jaime had to breathe a sigh of relief. And then he jerked because Cersei never talked to anyone about their mother's death or anything for that matter. Not anymore. Yesterday had been the first time in years that even he had heard her speak of it. “Is he like a fucking wizard or something?”

Sansa looked at him like he had two heads, “Excuse me?”

“No one gets Cersei to do shit she doesn’t want to do. Especially talk. She’s fantastic at not talking and just being petulant, nebulous, and angry.”

“O-kay, you two have a messed up relationship.”

“You don’t even know the half of it,” Jaime admitted vaguely.

“I have like, four siblings and there was also Jon before he moved out and Theon and Brienne were around all the time… and we all got along just fine. Well, as well as a bunch of teenagers can get along.”

“Because your oldest brother is a wizard,” Jaime reiterated with a wave of his hands, “That disappointed look must be gods sent.”

“Is it really that weird?”

Jaime held up a hand and turned to the three remaining players, “Oi Renly!”

Renly jerked and his character crashed and burned, “Damn it Jaime! I just died because of you.”

“Get over here.”

“What do you want?” Renly asked as he collapsed on the couch on Jaime’s other side.

“Do you and your siblings get along?”

“Did you seriously just ask if I get along with Stannis or Robert?”

Jaime gesticulated at Renly as he turned back to Sansa, “See!”

Renly looked at Jaime with narrowed eyes before he turned to Sansa and understood. He nodded in understanding, “Ah yes. I get what you’re talking about. Oi Loras.”

“Fuck!”

“I win!” Brienne screeched. Jaime’s eye softened as he watched her do a little victory dance. Sansa jabbed him in the ribs with a knowing finger. He jabbed her back. Brienne and Loras both turned around and simply fell to the ground cross-legged as Brienne’s character celebrated her victory on the screen.

“What do you want babe?” Loras asked with a pout.

“How is your relationship with your siblings?”

Loras raised an eyebrow, “You know we get along well. You guys might think Margaery is a bit much—“

“Just call the bitch a bitch Loras,” Brienne said as she leaned back on her hands.

“Language wench!” Jaime mock gasped.

“Suck it Jaime.”

“No!” Loras snapped, “She’s an international treasure.”

Brienne shook her head and mouthed to Jaime, “She’s not.”

He mouthed back, “I know.”

Loras made to jab Brienne in the ribs too, but then thought better of it. Instead he quickly started up a new game and before anyone could protest, he killed off Brienne, then Jaime, then Renly, then Sansa, making himself the winner. “Petty,” Brienne hissed as she frowned at her tiny crying avatar.

Loras stuck his tongue out at her. “Anyways,” Renly said bemused, “My theory is that matriarchal families tend to have kids who get along. Patriarchal families, not so much. Sloppy theory considering the family we’re going to have one day,” Renly gestured to Loras and himself proudly, “But it’s at least true in the context of this little circle.”

And then Jaime realized he was now part of the little circle.

Did he like it?

He was undecided.

Jaime met eyes with Brienne who beamed at him.

He loved it.

“Still doesn’t fucking explain how Robb got _Cersei_ to talk.”

“Robb got Cersei to talk?” Brienne asked surprised.

Jaime gestured at Brienne wildly, “See! Even the wench gets it and she knows the powers of both sides.”

Renly and Loras looked at each other as twin devious grins appeared on their faces. They seemed to communicate with their eyes before it was decided that Loras would be the one to say it, “You do realize this means they’re probably gonna bang, get married, have kids, and she’ll be your sister-in-law, don’t you?”

Sansa’s eyes widened in horror, “No!”

Brienne winced as she contemplated the idea and Cersei as a person, “At least you’ll have Jaime as an in-law,” she teased.

Jaime considered being an in-law of Catelyn Stark, “Every family dinner will be a test of courage.”

“Cersei is dating Renly’s brother! How can you _say_ that?” Sansa screeched at Loras.

“Robert’s not exactly cream of the crop,” Renly snorted as Sansa turned her burning gaze to him, “I mean he had to repeat a year of high school because he skipped so many classes he basically didn’t exist, he nearly squandered his whole trust fund in the first two years of university on booze, drugs and travelling to spring fling destinations to launch himself dick first at college girls, and now that he’s finally completing a degree, he’s on his seventh year, very much due to lack of trying.”

Jaime wondered if Robert was one of the people Renly had found at Baratheon Bash and grimaced at what that would have been like, “How is he such a good athlete?”

“Because he was given every advantage in life right down to his genetics,” Renly shrugged, “One day he’ll get fat and get a beer gut though and I’ll have the last laugh with a handsome husband and no male pattern baldness.”

Loras pointed at himself, “Handsome husband, that’s me!”

“That’s also probably going to be the day Cersei becomes Mrs. Robb Stark,” Renly added with an innocent smile at Sansa.

“Gross, gross, gross!” Sansa screeched as she plugged her ears.

“They’re just teasing you Sansa. No one actually thinks that Robb would date Cersei,” Brienne tried to placate as she gave Jaime an amused look. Jaime returned the look and Brienne had to hide her laughter.

“Yeah little Cat, like hell would my sister be sensible enough to date a good guy like your brother,” Jaime muttered. Brienne’s eyebrows furrowed at that and she frowned at him slightly but didn’t say anything.

Sansa nervously looked at all of her friends and pulled her fingers out of her ears. “Why were we talking about this again?” Renly asked.

“I was telling Jaime about how Robb found Cersei yesterday night and how she told him everything and how horrible of a person she is,” Sansa muttered, “That’s all! She cried, her make up smudged—“

“What?” Jaime asked as he stiffly turned his head to stare into Sansa’s very soul.

“Her… make up ran… it got all over Robb’s shirt,” Sansa said slowly as she met Jaime’s wild gaze, “I had to help him wash it off this morning. Why are you staring at me like that Jaime Lannister?’

Jaime opened his mouth to say something, but then it snapped closed again. Cersei never cried. Not even to manipulate a situation. It was her trademark. After a second his mouth reopened, but he didn’t make a sound. Eventually he ended up rubbing his face with his left hand as he sank into his couch cushions and groaned, “Not only is Brienne under her protection, but I’m going to be fucking in-laws with Catelyn Stark.”

“Shut up!” Sansa cried as she hid her head in the cushions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO excited for the next chapter.


	16. Twelve Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where in Jaime gets his cast taken off and gets to the crux of the situation.

Two weeks after Brienne had slept over at his place, Jaime jolted awake sweating and groaning. It was dark outside. The late autumn sun was rising later and later every morning, but it was still earlier than when he usually woke. Slowly, Jaime realized what had happened. Grumbling, because this kind of shit hadn’t happened to him in nearly ten years, he dragged himself out of bed to clean up. It seemed that even if he pleasured himself in hand most nights, it was still not enough. Not enough because his hand was not what he wanted, not who he desired beyond sense. And this _was_ beyond sense. His body was acting as though he was once again a young teenage boy discovering what sexual desire was for the first time. 

Brienne in his sweatshirt. Brienne in his sweats. Brienne in his _boxers_. He knew that she would look amazing in just his boxer briefs and in one of his dress shirts reaching and riffling through the cupboards in his kitchen with her long legs and toned ass. She would be able to fit into any one of his shirts perfectly. Wrapped up in the presence of him. Gods what an image. His mind had certainly convinced his body of the awe of it all.

The luke warm water of his shower splashed down on him. But it didn’t allay the imagery still lingering from his dreams.

_Brienne was lying on his bed underneath him, her hair tangled around her head like a halo. His sheets and golden locks of hair were tangled between her curled fingers while he was tangled up in her. Her eyes were beautiful, blue, and bright, calling to him with pupils blown with want. She was still wearing his dress shirt, but the buttons had been scattered across the floor, the blue of the fabric accentuating the brilliance of her eyes. Unlike her, he was completely bare. Bare so that he could feel her warmth with every square inch of his skin as he caressed and worshipped her. He pressed wet, open mouthed kisses behind her ear as he thrust into her. She was so tight and warm around his cock, her thighs locked around his hips as she tried to pull him in closer each time he sheathed himself to the hilt. His left hand was tangled in the halo of her hair, exposing more of her neck to him as he nipped and sucked at the soft, freckled skin. His right hand, the cast finally gone, was between them, the thumb circling just above where they met. With every thrust, with every stroke of his thumb, his name poured from her lips, rising steadily in desperation and volume._

In the dream, when they had finally found their release together, the stars that were her freckles had quivered and bathed him in light.

Jaime sighed as he turned the cold tap all the way on and shut the hot tap all the way off. He had only gotten his cast removed a couple days before and there had been one glaringly inconvenient affect that his doctor had not warned him about. Then again, Jaime highly doubted that wet dreams were a typical side effect of cast removal, especially for a twenty-two year old man. It wasn't that having those kinds of dreams about Brienne was bad, he'd had dreams about Brienne like that before he had gotten his cast taken off.

It was just that it had gotten out of control over the weekend. It was that _this_ wasn’t what _it_ was about. Jaime was undeniably attracted to Brienne, the extremes he was going through to make his body calm down being a clear indicator, but that wasn’t the crux of how he felt.

He needed to get to the crux of it.

* * *

Brienne knew that he had been due to have his cast taken off over the weekend, but had been too busy to come by and visit him before the next Winter Semester Fair meeting. Meanwhile, he had managed to forget the tool he needed for his master plan and so had shown up late. Therefore, during the entirety of the meeting, she could only stare at him while he narrated and he had gestured with his right hand the whole time. It wasn't until the dry run was over that they could actually speak. She had instantly rushed over to him in a delighted scramble. “How does it feel?” she asked excitedly as she gently massaged at his right forearm and scrutinized his atrophied muscles.

“Like I have no idea how to use my right arm anymore,” Jaime chuckled and revelled at her casual intimacy. He resisted the urge to step closer to her, “So I’m going to need your help wench.” Brienne tilted her head in confusion, her eyes meeting his, as her palms stilled. Jaime grinned as he held up the familiar feather tipped pen. Brienne laughed joyously, her blue eyes sparkling. “It’s the best way to regain my dexterity without having to write words!”

“Alright, alright,” Brienne acquiesced as she turned towards the exit and the courtyard. Jaime observed her quietly for a moment as she took a couple steps away from him.

It had been two weeks since Ronnet Connington.

In the aftermath, Brienne had gone forward with seeking an assault charge on Ronnet, which Robb and Jon were helping her with.

Brienne was still wary when it came to her drinks. Whenever they were at a bar or a café she would hang around and watch the bartenders and baristas like a hawk. She didn’t trust anyone to get her drinks for her other than Jaime, Renly, or Sansa. Although Jaime thought that maybe one day she might trust others to get her drinks for her, Jaime didn’t think she would ever not be wary again. Sansa had once told Jaime that even she could never not be wary again. 

Brienne also had a low tolerance for crowded spaces and would often panic. Taking her to somewhere isolated would make the panic even worse. There was a fine balance that needed to be struck and Brienne had herself declared she wanted to work on this over time after her third panic attack had left Renly with a sprained wrist. Brienne had told Jaime that it was what she was talking to her therapist the most about. When she had apologized to Renly, he had told her that there was nothing to apologize for.

Most of all, Brienne recoiled at anything rose like or themed. Her tolerance for the flower had bottomed out and Jaime's respect for Loras had grown exponentially when, even as a Tyrell, he had managed to rid of all the rose-like crests he had ever proudly adorned in honour of his family's history.

However, overall, it seemed that she was slowly, but surely coming to terms with what had happened and more importantly, she was not blaming herself anymore. No one would let her. Everyone was there to support her whenever she called.

During the last two weeks, Brienne had spent at least a couple hours almost everyday with Jaime on campus or at his place. If she was, for some reason, otherwise busy, they would instead talk on the phone late at night. She was fully taking him up on his offer to listen if she needed to talk about that night or simply just to chat with as friends.

But, if he could, Jaime wanted to be more than just friends with her.

_Yet, it had only been two weeks since Ronnet Connington._

And the last thing Jaime wanted to do was make Brienne feel uncomfortable around him.

Nevertheless the skin on his arm still tingled from her touch. The touch that she had initiated. That she had almost always been the one to initiate in the past two weeks. They touched nearly everyday.

“Not so fast wench!” Jaime finally called before she could get too far away from him, “Change into this.” He tossed her another of his sweatshirts, one he had ruined by stretching out the collar years ago, but had never thrown away because it was so damn comfortable. Brienne looked at him like he was crazy. “An artist, isn’t going to use the same canvas twice,” he explained as though it were obvious.

“An artist? Oh for Seven’s sake,” Brienne muttered and rolled her eyes affectionately. She walked back up to him, “Hold all of this then,” she dumped all of her stuff into his arms and then ambled into the nearest women’s washroom. When she reappeared, the shirt she had previously been wearing was neatly folded in her hands and his sweatshirt looked perfect on her.

Jaime tried to think of something horrible to fight off his erection, but when the collar of the shirt slipped over one of her shoulders revealing smooth, pale, freckled skin, he knew he was done for. He settled for awkwardly readjusting himself, hoping that Brienne wouldn’t notice. “Ready?”

“This is really comfy,” Brienne said with a sweet smile as she hugged herself and dug her nose into the fabric at one of her shoulders, “Smells like you too.” He lost the battle really hard.

“Ugg, courtyard wench, bench, now.”

“Alright you Neanderthal,” Brienne sniggered loudly as she swept up right in front of him and took her stuff back out of his arms.

Jaime resisted the urge to simply touch his lips to the tip of her nose right then. She was so close that he could almost count the eyelashes framing her astonishing eyes.

They found themselves outside in the courtyard sitting on their oak bench and Jaime swirled the pointer finger of his left hand to get Brienne to turn her back to him. She rolled her eyes, turned her back, pulled her hair over her shoulder so that it wouldn’t be in his way, and then finally Jaime indulged himself.

With a deep breath in, the tips of the fingers of Jaime's left hand pressed gently into her skin as he centered his map of the universe around the shoulder that he had bruised two weeks ago. Brienne didn’t recoil at his caress. Still, he worked quickly and methodically, this time not having a reason to keep his ploy a secret to the very end. Part of Jaime wished he could go back in time and tell Renly to punch him in the face instead of just grabbing his fist. It haunted him still that one of those tender purple markings on Brienne's skin the morning after had been his doing. If he could, he wanted to spend the rest of his life making up for it.

Slowly the heaven's began to form between the freckles on Brienne's skin. Jaime drew line after line, recalling from memory all the maps and images he had referenced in order to get this right, in order to bring the stars down from the sky just for her. He would do it again and again. Move heaven and earth. For her.

And through it all, he touched and touched making sure Brienne was comfortable with the contact. The fingers of his left hand skittered over the expanse of her pale, freckled skin as the side of his right hand slid against the smooth canvas, exchanging his warmth with hers. The design went as far down her back as the collar would let him go and then he circled around the back of her neck and over the top of her spine. When he was done moving in that direction, he returned to her shoulder. He began to circle his design forward toward her clavicle. His chest rested against her back. “Is this okay?” he asked quietly.

“Yes.” Brienne shivered.

“Are you getting cold Brienne?” He should have pulled back, but he didn’t. Instead his hands went to her shoulders and he rubbed them up and down her arms, creating friction and warmth. “It’s almost winter, the first snow should be coming soon,” Jaime said as he eyed the clouds in the sky and the bare branches of the once lush trees around them. He so desperately wanted to just wrap his arms around her from behind and kiss the nape of her neck, but that was going too far. “We can go inside if you want.”

Brienne shook her head, “That’s not why I’m shivering Jaime.”

His hands stilled. “Hm?”

“It’s just…” Brienne swallowed. He watched his canvas turn a brilliant, beautiful shade of red, “I can... it's just that I can feel your breath on my neck and... and it tickles.” She sounded breathless. So breathless.

Jaime's breath hitched, his heart rate picked up its pace, “It... tickles?”

Brienne barely nodded as though she was trying not to move, “Yeah.” Still breathless.

And that was when Jaime remembered what had happened the last time he had done this for her. What had happened the last time he had brought down the stars. _She_ had kissed _him_ and had reoriented his world forever. “Oh,” he said. Jaime regarded the smooth terrain of her skin, and then gently, he blew on her shoulder.

Brienne quivered, “Jaime! What are you doing?” her voice was pitched high and she was gasping.

“Drying the ink,” Jaime stated falsely as he leaned in closer and lightly blew on the side of her neck, just under her ear. 

“You didn’t do that anywhere else,” Brienne yelped, but still she didn’t pull away. Instead she pressed back into him.

Jaime shook his head and then realized she couldn’t see him, “No.” The pointer finger of his left hand left the arch of her shoulder and slid down the curve of her spine.

“Jaime!” Her voice had come out as a low, keening moan. It was a sound so much more intense than he could have ever imagined. He squeezed his eyes shut and willed himself not to bury his face into her hair. “By the Seven,” Brienne recovered and wriggled, finally turning to him. Her pupils were blown, her lips were red and wet from being bitten, and she was flushed beyond the collar of his sweatshirt, “What do you think you’re doing Jaime?”

Jaime opened his mouth and then closed it again. He was once again drowning in the dark, pools of her eyes, but for once, he knew what was in their depths. He had seen that emotion reflected in his just that morning. Desire. But not just desire. Affection. She wanted him too. He sat staring at her for a moment before he leaned in and rested his forehead against hers. His voice came out rough, almost a growl, “I think…” Wrong. Wrong. _Wrong_. “No. I know I’m in love with you.”

Brienne jerked as her eyes widened, gorgeous and wanting, “What?”

He kept his gaze locked with hers. They were so close. He could feel her breath on his lips. “I’m in love with you Brienne.”

She stared at him wide eyed and dazed and he thought about kissing her. Before he was able to tilt his chin forward and snatch his chance, she spoke softly and pulled away from him. The loss of contact struck him at his core, “D-didn’t I tell you not to fall in love with me Jaime?”

Jaime’s eyes sparked as he kept her gaze, “You couldn't have possibly been serious!”

“I was dead serious!” Brienne exclaimed sounding for the life of her like she hadn’t wanted to be.

“Why Brienne? Why is it so wrong for me to be in love with you?”

Tears sprung to the corner of Brienne’s eyes as she tried to back away from him. His heart clenched in his chest. She wasn't saying that she didn't love him. _She wasn't saying that she didn't love him._ He couldn't let her go, so he didn't let her go. He reached out and took her hand softly in his, smearing marker all over her fingers. She could still run if she wanted to, but he wasn't going to let her leave without putting up a fight. “Jaime, please. This was a mistake. This wasn’t supposed to happen. You weren't supposed to fall in love with me.” She wiped her free hand over eyes trying to dislodge and hide the tears before they fell as she shook her head at him.

“Damn it Brienne. I know that I’m not the best guy—“ 

“That’s not it Jaime! Shut up!” Brienne interrupted as she yanked her hand out of his grasp and shoved both of his shoulders to stop him from talking, “You’re one of the best damn people I know. This has nothing to do with you!”

“Then what is it? Why can't I love you?” Jaime roared, not angry, but confused and desperate, “Tell me Brienne! Tell me _please_.”

The tears spilled out of her eyes and ran down her ruddy cheeks as she lost all control. She buried her face in her hands, “Because I love you Jaime. I love you so much. I’ve been in love with you for so long.”

* * *

It wasn’t that long after and they were still sitting on their bench in the courtyard of the Classics department. Brienne had gone quiet. After her declaration, Jaime had gathered her up into his arms and had buried his face into the crook of her neck. After a moment she had done the same and nothing further had been said. She loved him. She loved him too. That was the only thing that mattered.

Now, Jaime was the most content he had ever been in his whole life with Brienne’s head resting on his shoulder, his cheek resting on the crown of her head, the universe drawn between them, and their hands intertwined. He hadn’t finished his masterpiece, but the sentiment was laid out for all to see.

Jaime grinned suddenly. He turned his face to kiss the crown of her head and nuzzled his nose into her hair as he squeezed her fingers between his, “Come out with it wench, when did you fall for me? Was it when you found out I owned Mario Party? Or when I brought down the stars for you the first time?" Jaime swept the pad of his thumb over the side of hers, "Maybe it was just a touch earlier when I presented you with Oathkeeper? Or even as far back as when I put my head on your lap while you were reading The Epic of Gilgamesh?”

Brienne flushed a ridiculous shade of red as she lifted her head from his shoulder and glared at her unclaimed hand, “No.”

“Come on Brienne,” Jaime dawdled as he leaned forward, letting her name roll off his tongue, “Indulge me.”

“You’re going to tease me.”

“When do I not?”

Brienne let out a hard sigh as she turned her gaze to the side and closed her eyes in contemplation. Jaime's eyebrow rose as he watched her face display an array of emotions before she settled on resignation. She gave another hard sigh, “Don’t they say that all it takes for me to fall in love is for someone to do one nice thing for me?”

Jaime blinked. And then blinked again. His mind raced. He stared at her as she continued to avoid his gaze as though her life depended on it. Brienne had said she had been in love with him for _so long_.

It clicked. Jaime’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open. “No…” He thought of Loras's odd behaviour. He thought of Renly's.

Brienne pressed her lips together as she wiped her free hand on her jeans, “Yeah.”

“But we were…” He thought of Sansa's. He thought of Selwyn's.

Brienne cringed, “Yeah.”

The memory came to him unbidden. Jaime found himself back on that playground in fourth grade, jumping down from the monkey bars between a nearly crying girl and a group of older boys calling her names. He thought he had forgotten that day. Jaime's voice came out strangled, “Since we were ten? ”

Brienne casted her eyes to the side as she seemed to shrink, “Yeah.”

Suddenly, almost every expression he hadn’t been able to read on Brienne’s face became crystal clear. “Were you just never going to tell me?” he choked out. For a second he pondered a reality where her list of priorities hadn't included getting to know him one fall day. He couldn't. It was unfathomable.

Brienne winced and bit her lower lip, “Well yeah. I mean you and Cersei…”

“Shit! Shit, shit, shit,” Jaime cursed letting go of her hand so that he could rub both of his palms over his face.

Brienne looked at him utterly bewildered and then flinched, “Um… I know that’s a little weird—“

“No, no, no, wench. Brienne,” Jaime amended and then grabbed both of her hands in both of his, “No. Stop thinking whatever it is you're thinking. I’m just…” Jaime let out a frustrated groan and dropped his head, “Shit.” Out of all the stupid things in his stupid life...

“Jaime, what—“

“Twelve fucking years.” Elementary school, junior high school, high school, university. Countless days, weeks, months, years that he had passed her by and...

“Huh?”

“Twelve bloody fucking years that I should have been with you.” And with that he finally leaned forward and claimed her lips with his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to an event that is going to be sucking up all of my time this weekend, my usual update schedule is going to be screwed up. I'm very unsure how many chapters I'm going to be able to release in the next week so I'm just going to apologize now. Sorry. I really am. It just so happened to line up this way.


	17. You Explained The Infinite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jaime and Brienne go on their first real date and Brienne has more to confess.

Between what Brienne called a ridiculous number of kisses, _it wasn't ridiculous, he had twelve years to make up for_ , Jaime had demanded… begged… asked to go on a date the next evening. He wanted a real date with her under his belt. No crossed arms, no near stabbings during a debate of Valyrian sword ownership, and no interruptions from monstrous siblings. Brienne had agreed with loud, snorty laughter, _even though they would have classes the morning after_ , as he fluffed at her hair with his fingers and nuzzled affectionately into her cheek.

Jaime asked if he could tell Addam and Tyrion and _the world_ , really, that she was his girlfriend, _he was her boyfriend, right?, right?_ , as they had walked to his car with their hands intertwined. He swung their arms merrily as she tried to calm him, _behave for Seven sakes we're still on campus you absolute child_. Eventually, Brienne was infected by his unfettered joy and pulled him to her with a hard tug. She kissed his temple when he was in her arms, and, at a much more reasonable volume, _because I'm an adult_ , agreed that he could tell anyone he wanted as long as she could tell Renly and Loras and _Sansa_. Which would mean that the Starks would know, that Catelyn Stark would know. _The prospect terrified him_ , he admitted freely as he rubbed her forehead with his, but he had told her yes. _Of course yes_.

However, before he dropped her off at her house, after what was decidedly a strangely quiet car ride where Brienne had spent most of it looking out of the window despite his constant jabbering, she asked if he could actually wait until after their first date to declare her his girlfriend. Jaime pouted and wondered if it had to do with how she had been treated all her life by assholes, whom had once included him. Self-chastised, he easily agreed and even promised not to present her to the world as his girlfriend like a newly born cub from the Lion King the day after their date. Brienne smiled at that even though she still continued to look out the window.

It was just one day after all.

And then he could show his off _girlfriend_ , who by some miracle had loved him near all of his stupid life, to the whole entire world. Just... not by gathering an audience, getting them to stomp their feet, and demanding they sing a song in her honour. Jaime could do that. He could be chill.

It did occur and frustrate Jaime as he drove back to his apartment after he dropped her off, with only _one_ kiss goodnight, that even if he loved her for the rest of their lives that she would still always have twelve years on him.

* * *

After classes the next day, Jaime rushed off to find Brienne so that he could drive her home. She thought he was being an idiot since now he was making multiple trips to and from her house in the span of a couple hours and she could have just gotten a ride from Renly, but Jaime had been dead serious about monopolizing all of her rides home. It hadn't occurred to Jaime that he had never actually expressed that thought out loud to her before until Brienne raised an eyebrow at him in incredulity. Addam had seen the whole mess of an exchange because he had been trying to find Jaime. He deduced what was going to be happening that night, and had been waiting for Jaime in his apartment when Jaime got home. 

Jaime pursed his lips as he glared at his friend sprawled on his couch, "Why the hell are you here Marbrand?"

“Because I need to see this.” Addam would never forget the week where he had been witness to Jaime plotting to touch Brienne's lower back. For a guy so objectively good looking, Jaime had not a fuck of a clue and Addam delighted in this new knowledge of his best friend. Jaime scowled, but couldn’t not put on a show for his friend. "It's because you're a drama llama!" Addam shouted. So instead, Jaime had blatantly ignored Addam’s teasing and crowing as he got ready for his date.

His date with Brienne.

His first date with Brienne.

Jaime dug through his wardrobe for the perfect outfit and preened in front of his bathroom mirror for almost an hour after scrubbing himself down in the shower for almost half an hour.

“What do you even have planned?” Addam asked from the couch as he played Halo on Jaime’s account.

Jaime was holding two jackets in his hands, like he had been for the past five minutes, debating between them as though this was something akin to Sophie’s choice. “Dinner and a walk outside the city. The forecast says it’s going to be clear tonight so I’m going to bring a blanket and maybe we can do some stargazing.”

Addam lifted an eyebrow and gave Jaime a grin over the back of the couch, “Stargazing eh? Both of you? Or just her?”

“Shut up Marbrand.”

“Not like you haven’t thought of it. Bring two blankets man, it’s going to be cold and you don’t want your ass cheeks to get frost bite.”

“Fuck off,” Jaime muttered darkly as images of fucking Brienne under starlight flashed briefly through his mind. Suddenly the sound of her moans in his imagination had become much more vivid. He readjusted himself while glaring at his snickering friend. “I’m bringing four blankets just incase she doesn’t want to share.” 

“Gods Jaime, are you serious? I have never met two people who want to fuck each other more.”

“I will not be hearing anything from you!” Jaime shouted like a petulant child as he finally chose his regular bomber jacket and threw it onto the couch beside Addam for ease of access.

“Brienne’s long ass legs wrapped around you…” Addam sang.

“I can kick you out. This is my place.” Just because Brienne was his girlfriend, would be his girlfriend tomorrow, didn't mean that she would want to have sex with him anytime soon and he would sooner hang himself than to pressure her into anything that she didn't want to do.

“But you won’t, because I housed and fed you for a month. You owe me for forever.”

“I owe you for a month.”

“Forever,” Addam repeated as he shot Bran in a pvp, “Was that in poor taste?”

“Bran murders me all the time, even in co-op mode.”

“Oh yeah, there he goes. Respawned and instantly killed me. Oh he says good luck on your date tonight.”

Jaime blanched, “How does he? How do they...?" Addam gave him a pointed look. Jaime did suppose that maybe Sansa had seen him strutting like a peacock and smiling like a fool at some point during the day. Or maybe Brienne had still told Sansa about their date even though he couldn't call Brienne his girlfriend yet. "Gods that family is going to be the death of me.”

“Brutal. But in all seriousness, I hope you do have a good time on your date tonight. Not only does she deserve the best time, but you do too.”

Jaime let out a sigh and gave his friend a half smile that Addam returned, all teasing gone from his face, "Thanks man."

During the time it took for Jaime’s character to respawn, Addam routed around in Jaime’s jacket. “For the love of the Seven Jaime, why the fuck do you have so many granola bars in here?”

“Just in case,” Jaime shrugged.

“Just in case of what? A granola related emergency?”

Jaime snorted in laughter, “Yeah.”

“Gods you’ve gone mad. Where the hell are your smokes?”

“I quit.”

“You what?”

“Weeks ago.”

“Seriously? For her?”

Jaime looked up at Addam, “No,” Jaime paused and smiled, “Because I wanted to.”

* * *

Jaime shifted back and forth on his feet, realizing that this was the first time he had ever gone on a real date, much less picked up a girl up for the date. He wondered if he was doing it right. Jaime knew that honking his horn from the curb was rude and Selwyn would probably shame him with kind eyes or mulch him into the dirt with just one hand, but maybe he should have also brought the man a gift. What did you do to stay on the good side of the father of the girl you wanted to call your girlfriend the next day? Jaime tried to allay the rising tide of panic. 

Jaime raised his hand to knock on the familiar azure door when he heard the muffled voices through the slightly cracked open living room window, “Will you be okay?”

“I don't know dad, but I know I still have to tell him the whole truth.”

A deep, baritone sigh. “Did you really not see it coming my shooting star? Everyone else did.”

“You all always think that good things will come my way.”

"Because they should!"

"Dad..."

“My darling girl, he cares about you. He says he loves you. I believe him.” A pause. “I think he'll understand.”

Silence.

Jaime rapped on the wood before his anxiety could drown him.

* * *

Dinner had gone by without a hitch although Brienne once again pecked at her food. Despite the conversation that he had overheard, Brienne had seemed overjoyed to be on a date with him as they had sat in the small restaurant across from each other talking about anything and everything. It was just so easy when it was her. They could talk about the things they had in common, which was a lot, but they could also talk about the things they didn't. She would listen to him with rapt attention when he went on and on and he couldn't get enough of what she had to say about her passions even if they would never be his. Once again, like it had been over the past two weeks, she initiated contact with him by brushing her calf against his and then leaving it there, and so he had reciprocated by holding her hand over the table. Jaime chose to forget the odd conversation until she brought it up. There was no point in sabotaging his date with her over something he had heard out of context. If she brought it up, then she brought it up.

When he had proposed a walk to a nice meadow in a park just out of the bounds of the city lights, Brienne had readily agreed. The forecast had been right; the sky was clear, and if they went somewhere dark enough, Jaime was sure they would be able to see the stars.

They parked Jaime’s car in a nearly empty lot. It was cold outside and there were few people up for stargazing in such temperatures. Brienne had fretted for a bit as white puffs of condensation had billowed from her lips, but then he had pulled out the massive pile of blankets from his trunk and she had laughed in joy at his preparedness. That was when he clumsily dug out one of the granola bars from his jacket and she had kissed him happily on the cheek. With a pile of blankets in hand, he had only been able to return her gesture with a sweet touching of their lips, but he would make it up to her later. They scurried away from the parking lot to find a nice grassy glade to make their observatory.

When they found a nice spot, Jaime dropped the pile of blankets into Brienne's arms. "What are you doing?" she squeaked as she tilted her head to try and see over all of the fabric. 

Jaime grinned and popped up behind her to press a kiss under and behind her ear. She squealed and nearly dropped the whole load but he steadied her as he nipped playfully at her earlobe. "I'm just setting up."

"You are not!"

Jaime grabbed one blanket out of her arms and spread it on the ground. "I am, see?" he grinned as he swept back in to press a kiss to her hairline just over her ear.

“Jaime,” Brienne said exasperated with humour, “Are you trying to seduce me?”

Jaime wiggled his eyebrows, “Are you seducible?”

“Not at this very moment. It’s very cold.”

“Next time then,” he grinned as he pulled a second blanket out of her arms and laid it next to his. Internally he jeered at Addam.

Brienne’s laughed at the set up and then her smile faded, “Maybe.”

Jaime’s eyebrows pulled together as he tried not to panic, tried not to think of the conversation he had overheard. He trusted that she would tell him what she wanted to tell him in due time. He could take it. He could take it if she told him that she had fallen out of love with him just in time for him to fall in love with her. That _would_ be a hand fate would deal him.

Taking a deep breath in, he waved away the thought and concentrated on _her_. It was selfish he knew, but if he was going to be turned away tonight, he at least wanted a couple hours to remember and cherish. He would pack it all away, of course, into a box, if she asked him, and continue to be her friend. But alone he would unseal that box, take out these memories, and love them forever like he loved her now.

Jaime led Brienne to sit on the blankets and then wrapped one around her shoulders and placed the remaining one over both of their laps as he sat down beside her, “Maybe?” he couldn’t help but repeat anxiously. So much for waving it away.

Brienne nodded vaguely, chewing on her lower lip, before she looked up at the sky with a gasp and tugged on the sleeve of his jacket. He looked up and saw that it was dotted with twinkling stars, the Milky Way splattered across the cosmos. Brienne then pulled him down, laying them side by side. Jaime pulled his blanket over both of them as Brienne cuddled up closer to him than she had ever gotten before. Every line of her body pressed up against every line of his. He relaxed. She wanted to be here with him right now at the very least. Internally Jaime relented to Addam, maybe they had only needed two blankets, but at least that just meant Brienne was extra warm.

Suddenly a palm patted him on the chest excitedly, “Jaime did you see that?” Brienne squeaked in awe, “I think there’s a meteor shower happening tonight.”

Jaime turned his head to grin at her, “Yeah, the Leonids.”

Brienne giggled and turned to look at him too, her chin resting on his shoulder, “Did you plan that?”

Their faces were so close, he would only have to tip his head forward a bit in order to kiss her. For some reason, for the first time in twenty four hours, he didn't dare. “Yes wench. I designed the universe so that at this very moment in time I could present to you a thousand shooting stars originating from the lion constellation.”

Brienne giggled again, turned back to the sky, and tipped her head so that her temple rested on his shoulder. Her hair tickled his cheek. “That would be very romantic.”

“I am incredibly romantic wench.” Brienne hummed happily as they watched the stars dart across the sky together. “You know… you’re supposed to make wishes on these things,” Jaime said as he turned to face her, “What are you going to wish for?” He knew what he was going to wish for. 

“There have been so many of them, I don’t think I have that many wishes,” Brienne said and met his eye.

“Come on, fulfill their destinies. All shooting stars want to be wished upon.”

Brienne smiled at him and turned back to the sky. She closed her eyes and Jaime watched as her breath danced above her lips as she breathed deliberately in and out. Slowly her eyes fluttered back open, “Okay, I’ve made my wishes, but there weren’t as many today as there would have been two days ago.”

Jaime stared at her inquisitively and she met his look meaningfully. With an expulsion of breath out of his lungs, Jaime pushed himself up to his elbows and rolled himself slightly so that he was hovering over her. His left arm supported his weight, but the fingers were already tangled in her straw blonde hair. Her hands found their way out from under the blankets and they tangled into his golden locks as she pulled him closer. He took his right hand and cupped her cheek as he felt his heart swell and flutter.

What was he thinking?

She had told him she _loves_ him.

Present tense.

Fate wasn't dealing him a losing hand.

He was trying to deal himself one. 

Again and again.

But he had learnt from his mistakes.

He wasn't going to fold.

Jaime’s lips met hers, soft at first, until he felt her teeth rake across his lower lip. Jaime parted his lips in surprise and suddenly her tongue was there to sooth the dull ache and he met it with his own. Brienne gasped at the contact even though she had started this fight and suddenly he couldn't help but want to consume her. His right hand slid from her cheek to cup the back of her jaw and then the back of her neck. Underneath him he could feel her body arch against his.

When they finally broke the kiss, he felt as though his world was in a haze. But there were two bright spots shining through. Her eyes, so beautiful and blue. They shimmered at him in adoration, passion, longing, desire, love… and hopelessness.

Jaime didn't hesitate to kiss Brienne again.

* * *

As they were packing everything back into Jaime’s convertible, Jaime noted that Brienne had gone sullen although just moments before, when they had left the meadow, she had been laughing and kissing him without abandon. She hadn't wanted to do anything more than kissing, but making out under the stars was just as gratifying and they had thoroughly enjoyed exploring each other over their clothes. Closing the trunk, Jaime regarded her worriedly and asked, “Brienne? Is everything okay? Did I do something to make you feel uncomfortable?”

Brienne shook her head vehemently, “No Jaime. No, that’s not it at all.”

He breathed out a sigh of relief. “Can you tell me what’s wrong then?” he asked quietly, finally, as he stood in front of her and gently ran his knuckles down the line of her jaw. He leaned forward and kissed the corners of her mouth. Before he could pull away, her hands reached up and cradled the back of his head as she kissed him desperately, her teeth nipping clumsily at his lips and their breaths becoming one. He kissed her back, a bit bewildered, but welcoming of it all the same.

She swallowed deeply when she pulled away. Brienne took his hand by her face in hers and stared into his eyes. “Jaime, before we continue this I need to tell you something… If anything, I should have told you this yesterday, a month ago, when we first started talking. Before… before all of this.” Jaime lurched and his eyes widened. What Brienne had to say to him wasn't about the present. It wasn't about how she felt now. All kinds of different scenarios ran through his mind. All of them concerning all of the shitty things he had done in his life. The things he had done that had hurt her. The things he remembered… and the things that he didn’t. The things that were unforgivable. His gaze dropped to his feet in dread. “Jaime, look at me please. This has nothing to do with you,” Brienne said earnestly as she squeezed his hand and he met her gaze again. "I'm so sorry. I know you've been thinking all night that my strange behaviour has had to do with you, but it hasn't. Not at all." The blue of her eyes were so clear; he could read the emotion in them, the desperation that had been in her kiss. _What she thought would be the last kiss he would give her,_ he realized. “It just might affect what you choose to do from now on is all,” Brienne took a deep breath in, “And that’s the simple reality of it. You can choose what you want to do. I’m not here to change you. I’m definitely not here to make your choices for you.”

He wanted to prove her wrong, he desperately wanted to prove her wrong and kiss her again, but he knew she wouldn't let him. “You said that yesterday and the rest of that stuff way back…” he choked out, his heart hammering in his chest. She looked so sad, so resigned to the fact that the kiss they had just shared, the date they had just gone on would be their last. That tomorrow he wouldn't _want_ to call her his girlfriend. _But why?_

Brienne nodded as she squeezed his hand tighter as though grasping for a lifeline, “Jaime, all I ask is that you listen to everything I have to say. And then you can take as long as you want. I won’t judge. You can curse me. You can hate me. I won’t even be mad if you decide to disappear.” Her voice broke. She held onto him tighter and he realized she was warring with herself. Her words were true, but so had been her kisses, her touches, the looks in her eyes.

Jaime felt his heart skip a beat and squeeze, “What are you talking about Brienne?” He could never. He could _never_.

Brienne’s brilliant, astonishing, dark blue eyes watered as she cupped his jaw with her other palm and gently stroked his cheek with her thumb, “Jaime…” She took a breath in, her eyes fluttering closed, “Jaime, I’m sick. I have cancer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of the chapter comes from the first part of Sleeping at Last's Saturn.
> 
> I also have to say... I hadn't timed for their first date to happen in mid-November. I just wrote and then counted the weeks from the beginning of the story and it just so happened to land at that time. So I was like... let's see if there's a chance their could be a meteor shower at that time... and there was... and it was the fucking Leonids. Jaime might not have created the universe for Brienne, but damn if the stars didn't align for this story and their first date.
> 
> I love this chapter, but it was also so hard to write because Jaime... your emotionssss. Once again... I am so sorry I'm going to be busy this weekend and so I probably won't be able to get the next chapter up until early next week.
> 
> Also, I wasn't able to express this in my comment replies, but to every person who questioned all the hints I had been dropping, you guys drove me mad, but in the **best possible way!!!!!** I didn't want to spoil it for those who didn't already know it was coming, but also you guys comforted me in the fact that when this chapter was going to be dropped, it wasn't going to be coming out of no where! 
> 
> I love you all. <3 <3 <3
> 
> Also shameless promotion and something extra since I won't be able to update this weekend. Check out my one shot [Only One Loser Here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20134990)


	18. The Fault in Our Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where in Brienne isn't Jaime's girlfriend the day after their first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm not an oncologist but I did the best research I could considering the internet. I wanted to give Brienne's leukemia a real trajectory unlike in the source material where Hollywood fudging gave the protagonist... something? As far as I know, everything here is correct but I'm so sorry if there is something inaccurate.

Chronic myeloid leukemia. The doctors had incidentally detected it the summer after they had both graduated high school during some routine blood work after Brienne had spent the whole year coming off the field more bruised and battered than usual. The diagnosis had rearranged all of her priorities.

Jaime listened to what Brienne had to say in absolute silence. He understood now why she had been so scared to tell him. Those three words were like a wrecking ball. All the walls that he had ever built were falling down and for the first time in nearly a decade he had to confront his demons.

The cancer explained so much: her weight loss, her pale complexion, her loss of appetite, the exhaustion, the sweating, and the bruising. She didn’t have all of the signs and symptoms all the time, but most people didn’t. He knew that. He had seen it all before. Why hadn't he seen it now?

She had told him that she was still in the chronic phase, which meant that her prognosis was very good. This was why only her father, some of her friends, some of the people in their families, and those that were required to know knew about her disease.

She hadn’t responded to the most tested drug treatment with the most well researched outcomes, which wasn’t abnormal. So instead of having a five-year survival rate of 90% or higher, which was pretty average even for someone without cancer, Brienne was hovering somewhere around 80-85%, which was still significantly better than other forms of blood cancers, cancers, and diseases in general. Many people with chronic myeloid leukemia remained in the chronic phase and lived full lives.

Brienne had also been brutally honest with him as well. If she ever progressed beyond the chronic stage into the accelerated phase, it was going to be a fight to survive for her. Her prognosis would nose dive into the deep end and the likelihood that she would be gone in five years was higher than not. There was a chance, but it wasn’t good, and at that point her life would be forever changed. It was less than wasn’t good. If she got to the blast phase, it was basically over.

The very thought of her being _over_ made Jaime want to scream at the universe, beat his fists against the earth, and cry.

Although her life was mostly, _mostly_ , unchanged _for now_ , there was suddenly a bomb with a hidden clock that could suddenly go off at any time and could take her life in a few swift years. This was why she had to tell him now even if she would have told him eventually. If he was even considering wanting to spend a lifetime with her, which he did, _he did_ , he had to know that her lifetime could be cut short at _anytime_.

After Brienne had conveyed to him all she could, she had gently told him he could drop her off at home and take as long as he needed to think about things. He never had to contact her again, as though they were strangers. He could pretend certain things had never happened, as though they were acquaintances. He could retract particular confessions, expressions of want, and they could go back to being friends. Like he was just Renly or Sansa. She would accept whatever choice he made. The one request she had made of him was to tell her if he purposefully or accidentally revealed to anyone else that she had cancer, so she would at least know who knew, because now he was in a special group of people who _knew_.

“What about what you want?” he asked her quietly as he had driven her back to her house.

Brienne smiled at him sadly, “I had to arrange my priorities.”

Jaime wanted to curse her out for putting him, for putting _anyone_ , higher than herself, but he didn’t, because he couldn’t even begin to understand _having_ to do that. When he had flippantly told her that he had rearranged _his_ priorities, it had been because he had wanted to. Brienne’s disease didn’t care about what she wanted. Cancer didn’t care about who it affected and who it left behind.

“Can I just ask you one more question before you go?” Jaime asked when he parked his car in front of Brienne’s house. His eyes were squeezed shut as he pressed his whole body into his seat, trying to hold himself together for just one more moment. Jaime's eyes were still dry.

Brienne nodded as she fingered the door handle. She couldn't meet his gaze either, “Of course.”

“What’s on top? Of your priority list,” _of your_ _bucket list_. It was a fucking _bucket list_ he had been helping her fulfill. “What did you wish for tonight?”

“Jaime,” Brienne sighed as she tapped her fingers against the door of his car, “I don’t think I should tell you.”

“Please,” he felt himself beg as his teeth clenched painfully, “If it’s because of me, please tell me. If you don’t want to say because of you, then I understand.”

“I don’t want you to get the wrong idea and you might get the wrong idea. It was at the top of my want list since before I was diagnosed, before I even met you, so don’t feel this is like a last wish, ride or die—“ she rambled as her eyes turned to the roof of his car, her hands waving in the air.

“Brienne…” He finally looked over at her.

Brienne sighed, resigned, as she covered her eyes with the palm of one of her hands, “I’ve always wanted to get married, have a family. I’ve wanted it since before I understood that I was ugly or undesirable,” she put up a finger to stop Jaime from refuting her statement, “Before I came face to face with my mortality. It’s just something that I’ve _always_ wanted.”

Jaime nodded as he felt his eyes sting, “Thank you for answering my question.”

“Don’t get the wrong idea Jaime Lannister.”

“I won’t get the wrong idea, I promise.”

Brienne nodded, unbuckled her seat belt, and climbed out of his car. However, before she shut the door, he leaned to her side and said, “Before you go, know that no matter what I decide to do that my feelings for you right now are real. I’m just… you know why… why it’s complicated. I understand why you didn’t tell me earlier. I _do_ love you Brienne.”

Brienne nodded as she gave him a weak and watery smile, “Thank you. I understand. I love you too Jaime.” And then she shut the door.

He drove away before he saw her get safely in the house. Selwyn had been at the window anyways.

* * *

Jaime didn’t drive back to his apartment after dropping her off. He drove _home_.

Jaime left his car parked haphazardly in the grand driveway and marched to the front door. Without a care for the time of night he mashed the doorbell and slammed his fist against the surface. Tyrion answered the door in his pajamas.

“Jaime?” Tyrion asked with wide eyes as he looked up into his brother’s face, “Oh Jaime...” Tyrion spread his arms wide and Jaime simply fell to his knees and finally cried. Tyrion immediately took his older brother into his embrace and held him there on the front step as Jaime cried and cried and cried. His tears carved down his ruddy cheeks, salt stinging the skin, and soaked into the flannel of Tyrion's shirt.

Tyrion didn’t ask any questions until Jaime was ready to talk. He simply ran his hand up and down Jaime’s heaving back as he felt his brother’s world crack at the seams. Jaime hadn't come home once since he had moved out after high school. It was always Tyrion who had gone to Jaime's apartment. Both of Tyrion's siblings hadn't been able to tolerate the memories of the place and had run the moment they had been given the chance.

When Jaime’s sobs finally died down, Tyrion drew his brother into the house and sat him down on the couch with a tumbler full of whiskey. He hopped onto the couch beside Jaime and let Jaime lean against him.

“Where did it all go wrong?” Jaime asked quietly after he had drained half his glass of amber courage.

Tyrion gave a half smile, “I’m going to guess when mom died.”

Jaime laughed. The sound was harsh and broken. He took another gulp of the warm whiskey, the liquid burning his throat, “How do you think? You were just a little kid.”

“Kids know more than they let on,” Tyrion shrugged and tapped his temple against Jaime’s arm as a light and amused reprimand for his awful humor.

“Do you remember much about her?”

Tyrion shook his head, “No. That’s why I didn’t feel like I needed to move out with you when you offered for me to come with you. Father has always been father. Cersei has always been Cersei and…” Tyrion turned then to Jaime and placed his hand on Jaime’s knee, “You have always been you. And I knew that no matter where you were, you would always be there for me. You’ve always been the best of us.”

Jaime scoffed and shook his tumbler, “I keep hearing that.” The sound of ice cubes hitting glass filled the air.

“Well I’ve been telling you for years.”

“Am I really?”

Tyrion chuckled and his eyes scrunched in gladness, “Are you finally listening?”

“No,” Jaime sighed as his head slumped.

Tyrion regarded him with his mismatched eyes. Jaime shifted in his seat. Tyrion nodded slightly, “Someone you care about is sick.”

Jaime turned to his brother with an unbelieving expression on his face, “How did you know?

“Because when you care about someone, you care with your whole heart.”

“Do I now?”

Tyrion nodded and observed the palms of his hands. He turned to Jaime, “Trust me. _I_ would know.”

Later, when the glasses were empty, but the pain was no less bearable, Jaime dragged his old mattress into Tyrion’s room. They stayed up most of the night catching up on each other’s lives.

* * *

The day after their date, Jaime didn’t call Brienne his girlfriend. He didn’t even go to campus. He just slept and slept and slept, drowning in the memories.

Jaime didn’t call her his girlfriend the day after that either.

Jaime sat across the room from her during tutoring. Brienne didn’t say a word about it as she had sworn not to. Part of him wanted to march over to her and scream at her for it, but he didn't, he couldn't.

Pod still switched between them mid-way through the session, but he looked noticeably worried as he took his seat next to Jaime. Jaime had smiled at the first year and had immediately dived into the content, not giving time for Pod to ask him how he was, because Jaime didn’t think he could handle being asked that right now. Not with her sitting there, alive, _but also dying_ , just across the room.

However, once in a while, Jaime couldn't help but sneak a glance her way. And every so often, when he did, he caught her looking back before she quickly turned away and went back to working with her kid. Tears stung at the corner of Jaime’s eyes again. He loved her. She loved him. Why wasn't that enough?

Pod poked him with his pen and gave him another worried frown. Jaime forced a smile and remembered the first day of tutoring. The boy had wanted to run for the hills when he had discovered that Jaime was his tutor. But Jaime hadn’t originally been Pod’s tutor. No, that had been Brienne. She had switched with him. Switched with him because she had promised herself that she would try to talk to him, try to help him.

That was when Jaime realized that Brienne had only helped him because she had made a bucket list. And she had made a bucket list because she had been diagnosed with cancer. His stupid self would never have found her if she hadn't gotten sick.

Jaime sent Pod back to Brienne and left tutoring early.

* * *

Hours later Jaime reappeared on the doorstep of the Stark house with sore, red eyes and the taste of pile still thick in his mouth. Sansa was once again the one who opened the front door. “I would rip you apart if it didn’t seem like you were already doing a pretty good job of it yourself,” she said with a hint of humor and an ocean of sympathy.

“Is your mother home?” Jaime croaked willing himself not to hurl again.

Sansa nodded with a small smile, “She has the tendency to become everyone’s mother doesn’t she?”

“I'm beginning to understand now how you’ve turned out like you have,” Jaime laughed dryly as he took off his shoes. Two wolf-dogs appeared, but, this time, instead of chewing on his things, they both nuzzled him and circled him fondly.

Sansa laughed sadly as she stared forlornly at the floor, “My… I never thought I would get a compliment from Jaime Lannister.” She led him into the kitchen and sat him down. Instead of going to get Catelyn right away, Sansa paused and looked at him, really looked at him, “I thought that you loved her enough. Was I wrong?”

Jaime rested his head in one of his hands, the elbow firmly planted on the table, “Sansa…” she jerked at his use of her name, “Like your mother. You’re should be right. You are right,” he said and her eyes widened, “But it’s more complicated than that.”

Sansa didn’t know. She was one year younger and so hadn’t been there when Jaime and Cersei had been eleven and twelve. Brienne had though. She had known; she had been there. This was why she had told him not to love her even as she had loved him. It was probably why she hadn't been as repulsed by his relationship with Cersei as she should have been. Had she been more appalled before she had been diagnosed?

Sansa stood there staring at him for a long moment, before she nodded and rushed off to retrieve her mother.

It didn’t even take a minute before Catelyn Stark was in the kitchen and sweeping him back to his feet in a motherly hug because she _did_ know. He immediately began crying on her shoulder, surprised that he still had tears to shed. Jaime lamented for the millionth time since Brienne had torn down his walls that this warmth had been missing since his childhood. Maybe if someone like Catelyn, _his mother_ , had been around: his father would have become kinder instead of crueler, he and Cersei never would have progressed beyond being brother and sister, Cersei and him could actually be friends, and Cersei and Tyrion would not hate each other.

But that was awful and unfair.

Believing that the lack of a mother was to blame for what the Lannister family had become.

Condemning _his_ mother for dying of cancer.

* * *

“So Jaime, don’t get me wrong, it’s good to see you. But why are you here?” Catelyn asked. They smiled shallowly at each other, very aware of how vastly things had changed since he had last greeted her here at this very kitchen table.

Jaime chuckled weakly, “I think I need someone older and in a strong, stable relationship to talk to.”

Catelyn nodded sharply, “I understand,” she said simply, “I’ll answer any questions you have the best I can.”

Jaime took a deep breath in, knowing that he was probably going to ramble, but Catelyn looked like she was ready to listen no matter how long he spoke for. “I’m done with thinking about love as though it’s some kind of great destiny. I don’t want to believe in soulmates anymore. I don’t want to think that the universe has created that special someone just for me. I don’t want to feel entitled to that. I used to think all of this, and…” Jaime thought of Cersei, “And like all fairy tales, it ended. But… _without_ this big cosmic force to keep people together through the bad times, through strife and anguish and grief and sorrow, what is there to keep two people together? Is it just _them_? Is something as great and powerful as love simply held together by two people?”

“So you’re asking if love is really just a choice?” Catelyn asked.

Jaime nodded and wrung his hands together as he continued, “Two choices, I guess. And for myself, I _want_ it to be a choice… over this great destiny. I want it to be a choice so that I know down to my very core for all time that I was the one that chose her. But is a choice enough to hold us together? The last thing I want to do is choose to be with her now and then because of my choice, I hurt her later. I couldn’t do that to her because even if for some reason I am no longer _in_ love with her in the future, I can imagine always loving her. It would be impossible not to.” He couldn’t imagine not being in love with Brienne either. This was not what was stopping him from going to her.

“Brienne is unlike any other.”

“And then even if two choices can hold a love together, what happens…” Jaime felt his throat close up as he thought about the day, the week, that he had been pulled out of school with Cersei, the day that his mother had finally lost her long battle, “What happens when two becomes one again? How can just one person hold that love upon their shoulders and still _breathe_? Survive?” Because Tywin hadn’t been able to. He hadn’t been able to bear the loss of his wife. He had become even more cold and cruel and uncaring. It was how Jaime and Cersei had ended up in each other’s arms at thirteen after their mother had passed. Had made each other their destinies, because they still needed love and light and laughter to be true. “How can _I_ —?“ Jaime’s voice faltered. He could almost conceptualize loving Brienne until the day she died. But _after_? After was a different story. Would his fear of losing her ruin his now with her? Would he let it? This was the choice he had to make. Because he couldn’t stomach becoming his father, couldn’t disappoint Cersei, Tyrion, and Brienne by becoming his father.

“You’ve had a lot to think about Jaime,” Catelyn murmured gently, her pale blue eyes sympathetic and proud. “Can I speak?”

“Please,” Jaime croaked as he leaned forward and rested his head on his arms.

Catelyn reached out and grasped his forearm firmly in her hand. “I’m glad you came to me Jaime Lannister. Thank you for that and I hope whatever I have to say will help you. I _can’t_ say that I have all the answers or that my situation was anything like yours is now, but for Ned and I… our love was a choice too.”

Jaime swallowed and nodded.

“And from that choice we built a happy relationship, marriage, and home. You’ve met many of my kids, you know a lot of their friends, their families. It’s not as simple as saying that just because love is a choice between two people, that only those two people will help uphold that choice,” Catelyn murmured soothingly, “You build a house with your own choice to love that other person, but make it a home with actions and also the love, help and support of others around you. And once you have this foundation, even if the structure weakens, even if the house begins to crumble, it is still a home.”

Jaime nodded. Tywin had never made a home. When Jaime's mother had still been alive, she had been the sole architect of their home; Tywin had built a company instead. After she had passed and her structure had crumbled, there had been nothing else for his children to seek shelter under. 

“Before…” Catelyn paused meaningfully, “I wouldn’t have been able to say one way or the other if you could have made your relationship with Brienne a home, but now I think that you can. If anything, I can at least say I will be there to support you when you need it and I’m sure the rest of my family will be there too.”

Jaime wanted to cry again, but he felt that maybe he had already cried on Catelyn enough. “Thank you Catelyn,” he whispered instead, the ice in his belly melting for the first time in days. Unlike Tywin, Jaime could build a home. That was what Tyrion had been trying to tell him.

Catelyn took his hand, infusing it with warmth. “You’re welcome Jaime.”

* * *

On the weekend, Jaime parked his car in the Harrenhal parking lot and immediately went to find Brienne. When he found her he didn’t give her a chance to say the first words and simply grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles, “I’m not going anywhere,” he said as he looked stalwart into her ocean blue eyes.

Tears gathered on her lashes as she met his gaze with what he now understood was the love she had carried for him for over a decade. He squeezed her hand as he gave her a look that told her he would return to her decades back. "Jaime..."

“Can I kiss you now?” he asked as he tugged her into his arms.

“Why are you even asking?” Brienne murmured softly as she gripped the fabric of his jacket and pulled him to her.

“Because I need to know you’re choosing me too.”

“I am.” And his other hand went to the back of her neck where his fingers tangled into her hair and he pulled her the rest of the way toward him where they could finally come back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of the chapter comes from John Green's book The Fault in Our Stars, which made me bawl my face off in an airport lounge years ago. The movie was meh to me, but the book struck a chord when I read it the first time.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who commented last chapter. You all give me life. I promise that a pile of bricks isn't going to be dropped on anyone's head, literally or figuratively.


	19. Stupid Hair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where in Jaime learns more about the people around him

“You’re going out with Brienne the Beauty?” Robert roared in laughter, “Brienne the fucking hairy bear?”

“Fuck off you bastard and don’t call my girlfriend that,” Jaime snarled as he ripped his headphones out of his ears, abruptly cutting off the sounds of his audiobook and made his way forward to punch Robert square in the face.

“Hold on, hold on!” Addam shouted as he got in between them before violence was had, “You’re already banned from the team Jaime, don’t get yourself banned from the court too. Robert, stop being a fucking scum bag and see the good side of things. Jaime Lannister is officially off the market.”

“Fucking finally,” Bronn cheered, “No wonder you were never into all those girls. Not blond or tall enough for you eh?” Jaime twitched as he tried to piece together if Bronn was insulting Brienne or not, but gave him the benefit of the doubt.

“I think he just wants a virgin cunt. A half woman like that has definitely never been balled deep,” Euron goaded. Robert and Euron gave each other a high five as Jaime near tackled Addam out of the way to try and get at them.

Oberyn stepped in and placed a hand on Jaime’s shoulder, “Both of you are just bitter because the lovely Cersei Lannister has dumped you both.”

Jaime snapped his attention to Oberyn, “What?”

“Did your sister not tell you?” Oberyn asked with a raised eyebrow and a slinky tongue.

Both Addam and Bronn shifted uneasily as Jaime said slightly strangled, “We’re not exactly on speaking terms right now.”

Oberyn hummed at that new factoid and then shrugged, “I hear she has a new paramour.”

Jaime was about to reply as the plethora of men on campus raced through his mind, but then Cersei was suddenly there at the basketball court herself, dragged in by half of the cheer team. Jaime stared at his golden twin and she stared right back at him. After a moment she made her way to him, “Hi,” she said not quite meeting his eye.

“Hey,” he replied, nearly choking on the word.

Cersei sighed as she eyed both Robert and Euron who were leering at her, “I know… I know that you would rather not see me right now, but the girls won’t let me go home and between you and those two… well. You don’t have to talk to me, but can you… can you keep both of them away from me? They haven’t been—“

Jaime thought of Brienne and how scared she still was that someone was going to drag her off again. Jaime wished he could do more to help her other than to hold her tight when the fear set in, but she had told him it was enough for now and he certainly knew that he didn't want others feeling like Brienne did. Everyone deserved to feel safe. “Of course Cersei.”

She looked at him shocked, “Really?”

Jaime nodded and his eyes softened, “Really. Just try not to date anymore fucking wangs.”

Mystifyingly enough Cersei turned the lightest shade of pink and nodded her head. But before Jaime could question any further, they were corralled out the door and to the nearest pub. Cersei coughed awkwardly, “I hear congratulations are in order.”

“From who?” Jaime asked.

Cersei shrugged, “The girls and I could hear you shouting ‘girlfriend’ from down the hall and I thought it could _only_ be her.” They walked beside each other out of the gym, “I hope… I hope she makes you happy.”

Jaime chuckled as he thought of how he sometimes had to press onto his tiptoes to kiss Brienne and how Sansa had been so frustrated to find them making out between the stacks at Harrenhal every time she left for even a second, “She does.”

Cersei winced as they ended up at the back of the group, “Happier than we ever were.”

“What is this Cersei? You’ve never spoken to me like this before.”

Cersei clucked her tongue and sucked on her teeth as though she were in physical pain, “I know, but I would like to start. Maybe we should even grab Tyrion one day and have a nice family dinner,” she paused, “A family dinner without dad.”

“Definitely sans father.”

Cersei laughed her musical laugh, the one that Jaime had loved, and still loved, just in a different way. They walked in silence for a few beats. Cersei’s voice was quiet, but sincere when she finally said it, “I… I'm also sorry.”

“Okay, who the fuck are you and what have you done to my twin?”

Cersei rolled her eyes at Jaime’s dramatics, but Jaime was hardly trying to be dramatic. He was genuinely surprised. Cersei huffed as she gnawed on his lower lip, “I-I never intended it to go _that_ far.”

“I got that.” Jaime remembered that night at the Baratheon Halloween Bash, the look on Cersei’s face when he had confronted her with the consequences of her actions.

“Good,” Cersei murmured, “It’s killed me a little, thinking that you thought I was… _that_ much of a monster.”

“So you know you’re a bit of a monster.”

“I know that you’re undercutting it by saying ‘a bit’,” Cersei replied.

“I’ve had… opportunity to analyze why we became who we did.”

“Me too.” Silence fell between them, the chatter of the basketball team and the cheer team filling in the space.

“I think we’re going to be good at being siblings,” Jaime said finally.

Cersei snorted in amusement and then covered her nose, “I think so too.”

Jaime took a deep breath in and shook his shoulders, “So I hear there’s a guy?” Jaime teased to break the ice and change the subject.

And then Cersei did something that he had never seen Cersei do before, turn a bright flaming, crimson, Lannister red, and screech without care or preamble for the world around her, “THERE IS NOT!” And then she stomped away to be with the rest of the group.

Jaime stared at her bewildered and then chuckled as Addam found him with questions in his eyes.

Siblings.

This was great.

* * *

They ran into Loras at the pub and shockingly, Renly wasn’t with him for once. Loras grabbed Jaime and pulled him to the side of the bar where no one usually stood on account of the kitchen door constantly slamming against their heels, “Hey can I talk to you?”

“You kind of already are,” Jaime pointed out as he raised an eyebrow. He stared at the pint in Loras’s hand wondering just how many the man had already downed. It wasn’t even that late yet.

Loras frowned a little bit and looked over Jaime’s shoulder, “I heard from Renly that you and Brienne are dating now. Officially.”

Jaime snorted, “Yeah, I guess that’s the best way to put it. I just call her my girlfriend,” a dopey smile came over Jaime’s face, “My girlfriend.”

Loras looked mildly disgusted by Jaime’s mooning, but continued on, “Then I imagine you must know.”

Jaime deflated a little bit. He had suspected that Loras was also in the know, “I do.”

“Did she tell you?” Loras asked as he turned towards the bar top and set his pint down on the wooden surface. He ran his finger around the rim, staring intently at the glass surface.

Jaime nodded, “She did. Didn’t she tell you?”

Loras pressed his lips together and then shook his head, “No. Renly told me.”

Jaime coughed awkwardly as he leaned against the bar, “I see. Why are you telling me this Loras?”

Loras grunted as he rested his forehead in his hand, “Because you were an ass to her before,” Loras rubbed his face and took a swing of his beer. Jaime felt fury light up in his underbelly, but he didn’t know whom it was directed at. But then Loras continued, “Because I was such a fucking asshole before too, more of an asshole than you I think.” Jaime’s eyebrow shot into his hairline, “I mean, there’s a reason that Brienne isn’t as close to me as Renly and Sansa even though we all hang out in pretty equal amounts.”

“Is there?” And then Jaime remembered Margaery whispering to him in the gym as the basketball team and the cheer squad had all made fun of Brienne. “You’re a fucking bastard too then?” Jaime choked out remembering how he hadn’t done anything to refute Margaery’s mockery.

Loras huffed as his lips pulled up in chagrined amusement, “Worse. I was the one who came up with Brienne the Beauty.”

“You did _what_?”

Loras gritted his teeth, “Renly and I had just started going out in the first year of university and he was so close with Brienne. And I was… was absurdly jealous about the fact that they spent so much time together, that she had feelings for him. Don’t fucking patronize me, I _know_ that’s stupid,” Loras snapped as Jaime opened his mouth. “It didn’t help that I had always been free to be openly gay and Renly had just publically come out and was still scared of public displays of affection, something I couldn’t comprehend and wasn’t dealing with properly. We almost broke up because of what a shit I was being to him… to her.”

“You two?” Jaime asked surprised.

Loras snorted and took several gulps of his beer, draining the whole entire glass. He waved for another, “He got so pissed at me when he learnt I was the one who had come up with the name. Told me she had…” Loras paused and looked over Jaime’s shoulder and then simply nodded. Jaime nodded back in understanding. “Once I knew I felt like a right bastard, so I treated her better.”

Jaime stared at him for a beat and then his eyes narrowed, “But only after you knew.”

Loras chuckled as another pint was set down in front of him, “You got there fast Jaime Lannister. Inside I was fucking _angry_ with her. Angry with her for being sick because that made _me_ feel guilty. It eventually got to a boiling point where I couldn’t keep those feelings in anymore. Gods it’s a shock she even tolerates me. It’s a shock Renly does too if I’m honest.”

Jaime reached out and gripped Loras’s shoulder, “It’s because he loves you.”

Loras nodded as he sipped his beer, “I got _so_ lucky.”

“Are you still angry at her?”

Loras snorted in laughter, “Can you be angry at her once you get to know her? Can you even be unkind?”

Jaime couldn’t help but let out a bark of laughter, “I get that.”

“I’m glad you did it the right way Jaime. I just get to live with _this_ guilt forever now.”

“But you’re still here.”

Loras snorted, “But I’m still here.”

“So your relationship with Renly and your friendship with Brienne is more important than that guilt.”

“Much more important,” Loras sighed and set down his glass.

“Good. Then that’s what matters.”

“Fuck. Brienne was right. You are a good person.”

“Is _she_ why everyone keeps fucking saying that?”

* * *

Brienne nibbled his lower lip and arched her back, one of her hands was tangled up in his hair and the other was gripping his ass. He groaned as he swept his tongue over her teeth and pressed his body against hers. He ran his hands up and down her sides, under her shirt, feeling the warm smooth skin over her ribs. “Wench,” he breathed when the kiss finally broke, “We need to stop.”

“Why?” Brienne nearly whined as she tugged at his hair and brought her lips to his jaw.

“Because it’s going to get really messy if we continue,” Jaime groaned and rested his forehead against hers, “Sorry.”

Brienne blinked slowly, her hazy blue eyes taking him in, “Okay… we can stop for tonight.”

“I didn’t say for tonight. Just give me… five minutes.”

Brienne burst out into a fit of giggles. “Jaime!”

“Fuck wench, don’t say my name like that.”

“Sorry,” Brienne grinned sounding not at all sorry while biting her lower lip and curling her chin into her chest .

Jaime stared as her teeth tugged at the plump, wet, sensitive skin. He was about to swoop down to ravish her again when he caught himself, “Okay, we need a change of scenery.”

“Huh?” Brienne asked far too innocently. Her tongue darted out and swept over her plump lips. Minx. He should have known she was playing with him.

He thought of a perfect way to calm down. “Can I ask you something?” Jaime asked as he rolled them over so that he could lie back on the couch and Brienne could lie on top of him. His hands ran through her hair, playing with the flaxen strands and curling them between his fingers.

Brienne smiled at him with her kiss swollen lips as she rested her chin on his clavicle. Her feet were hanging off the other side of the couch, “Anything.”

Jaime untangled his fingers and nervously ran the palms of his hands down Brienne’s back in long strokes, “Would you have helped me if… if you hadn’t—“

“Are you asking me if I would have left you to struggle needlessly if I hadn’t been diagnosed with leukemia?” Brienne asked with a raised eyebrow as her arms wrapped around his neck.

Jaime pursed his own kiss bitten lips, looking embarrassed. “Maybe.”

“Do you think I would?”

Well… he felt like an idiot. Jaime shook his head, “No.”

“No,” Brienne agreed and turned her head so that her cheek rested against him, “Jaime, I have been waiting for a good enough excuse to talk to you long before we graduated from high school. Twelve years… remember?”

Jaime let out a long sigh as he rolled his eyes to the ceiling, “I’m never going to forget what a fucking idiot I am.” Brienne let out a snort and nuzzled her head into his shirt. Jaime groaned, “Brienne, you need to stop that.”

She popped her head up to stare at him, “What?”

“What?” he repeated with a roll of his eyes and an amused grin, “You can feel what wench. You’re reversing all of my hard work.”

Brienne dropped her head back down again and chewed her bottom lip. “Jaime…”

“Hm?”

She didn’t meet his eye as she asked, “Can I stay overnight after Harrenhal this week?”

Jaime lurched, nearly throwing both of them off the couch. “What?” he managed to choke out, the air knocked out of his lungs. One of his hands found her cheek and turned her face towards him.

Brienne was flushed a bright red and then she ever so slightly lifted herself up and off of him. Jaime was about to protest when she slid her whole body against his until they were face to face. Her whole body, against his whole body. She could definitely feel how hard he was. She could probably even feel him twitching in his jeans. He was nestled right between her thighs. Jaime swallowed as all nerve left him at the open look in her eyes. She dipped her head, placing a quick kiss on his lips before she let her full weight fall on him again. Brienne’s face nestled into the crook of his neck, her lips brushing his ear. “This weekend Jaime. I… I want to have sex with you.”

Jaime could only let out a strangled sound as Brienne shyly clung onto him.

* * *

Jaime’s eyes pulled together as he stared at Sansa. “Is she sick?” he asked Brienne quietly. She was in his arms and attached to his hip, cuddling into his warmth as they stood outside in the sparsely falling snow.

Brienne shook her head, “I don’t think so,” Brienne murmured and kissed his cheek before snuggling back into him again, temple to temple. Sansa gave them a little glare, the effect of which was completely nullified by her giant grin.

“You two are so cute,” she cooed, “I just wish you two would stop making out while we’re volunteering.”

“And you’re an alarming shade of chartreuse. Are you fucking okay?” Jaime asked.

Brienne poked him in the side, “Did you really just say chartreuse Jaime?” she giggled.

“Aye wench, I told you I’m an artist,” Jaime grinned and pressed up to his toes to kiss her on the forehead.

Sansa cooed again and then abruptly frowned, “Please don’t remind me.”

“Remind you of what?” Brienne asked gently.

“That would be reminding me,” Sansa whined.

“Mysteries of the little Cat,” Jaime teased.

“Shush! The trucks are finally here.”

* * *

Brienne was over that night playing Super Smash Bros with him to relax and loosen up before… _before_. Her calves were in his lap, distracting him every time he got even close to winning against her, when his phone rang. He looked at it perplexed and saw that it was Cersei’s picture on the screen. He stared at the screen in wonderment. There were no missed texts. Cersei was actually just calling him for the first time in years.

Jaime tapped Brienne’s leg so that she would stop rubbing them against his incredibly hard cock and waved the phone screen at her. She retracted her legs and instead sidled up to him, pressing one side of her body to his. Not wanting to pause the game because he was winning and this was why Brienne was cheating so dastardly, but also not wanting to immediately cause his newfound brotherly relationship with his sister to crash and burn, Jaime put Cersei on speakerphone.

Before he could warn her that Brienne was in the room, Cersei went off. “Can you believe he called me hateful?” Cersei screeched.

Brienne looked at Jaime wide eyed and Jaime looked at her back with just as wide eyes. He hadn’t expected them to rush right into brother-sister ranting and raving so quickly. “Um, who?” Jaime asked tentatively as he knocked Brienne’s character off the map. Brienne retaliated by jumping on his head from inside the bubble. Jaime considered taking Cersei off speakerphone, but Brienne was leaning closer and he was sure that her curiosity was already high enough that her honour wouldn’t prevent her from smushing her face up against his to hear Cersei through the receiver.

“Rob! Rob called me hateful!”

“You’re talking to Robert again?” Jaime sighed immensely disappointed and taking it out on an NPC.

“No! Not that bloody buffoon,” Cersei hissed, “Robb Stark!”

“Oh by the Seven!” Brienne piped surprised as Jaime lurched and they both died as two different NPCs got the upper hand on both of them.

“Jaime! Is your girlfriend there?” Cersei shouted.

Jaime sighed and grimaced, “I tried to warn you but you were too quick. Sorry.”

“You know what? _I’m_ not sorry. Brienne, it is Brienne, yes? How the hell did you handle my annoying ass brother?”

“Um… I…” Brienne stuttered and flushed looking like a deer caught in the headlights. Jaime couldn’t help the smirk that crossed his face as he buried his mouth into the crook of her neck and nipped ‘twelve years’ into her skin. Brienne playfully smacked him away, “Why are you asking me about this?”

Cersei screeched on the other end of the line, “Because before you two fell in love or whatever, you must have had a crush on him or something!”

“Or something,” Jaime whispered real low into Brienne’s ear and she kicked him in the shin. He was never going to let her live this down. Then Jaime realized what Cersei had just said. “Holy fuck you have a crush on Robb Stark,” Jaime roared in amusement as he pointed at his phone and then pointed at Brienne and then gestured at the whole entire room where they had predicted this outcome only weeks before.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” Cersei continued to squawk. “I do not, _do not_ , have a crush on Robb Stark!”

“Uh huh…” Brienne murmured and looked at Jaime coyly. She shifted his phone closer to her and escaped to the other end of the couch in a play for privacy that was in no way private and Jaime accosted her in a big hug that had them sprawling over the cushions. He nuzzled her neck affectionately, pressing his still hard cock against her ass, and wiggled his eyebrows. Brienne gestured at the phone with a muffled giggle and mouthed, “Watch this,” and then spoke to Cersei, “What do you think about his hair?”

“Robb’s hair?” Cersei asked, “Well, it’s not strawberry blond, and it’s not brown either. It’s auburn coloured I think. And shifts in the sun. And it falls in these loose curls around his stupid face and in his stupid sky blue, maybe more like robin’s egg blue eyes...”

“Robin’s egg blue?” Jaime mouthed at Brienne who muffled another giggle against arm.

“And he always has this stupid smile on his face, and it always reveals that he has one dimple. Just one! Isn’t that stupid?”

“Cersei,” Jaime chuckled, “I think we need to help you expand your vocabulary.”

“Shut up!” Cersei groaned. And then without any prompting, “He always wears these stupid padded jackets to make his stupid shoulders look bigger, even though they are already pretty big—“

“I thought this was a conversation about hair,” Jaime teased.

“And he gives great hugs Jaime,” Cersei whined, “Why does stupid Robb Stark who thinks I’m hateful give such good hugs?”

“Guess we know why Sansa looked sick now,” Brienne stated aloud and then spoke into the phone, “Were you on a date with him this afternoon?”

“It was not a date. It was _not_!”

“Uh huh,” Brienne smiled.

“We were just getting coffee,” Cersei insisted.

“And hugging willy nilly,” Jaime pointed out.

“Willy nilly Jaime, really?” Cersei taunted.

“Robb Stark Cersei, seriously?”

“Fuck you Jaime, I’m hanging up now.” And without a second more, she hung up.

Brienne burst into laughter, “Well wasn’t that something?”

“It was certainly something.” Jaime grinned as he peppered kisses all over the back of her neck and into her hairline. “What do you think of _my_ hair?”

Brienne turned a bright flaming red as she avoided his gaze, “It’s blonde.”

“Blonde?”

“Yep.”

“That’s all?”

“Yep.”

“I feel like if I ask either Renly or Sansa they’ll tell me you’ve had more to say.”

“Jaime… shut up.”

He laughed loudly as he nipped at the shell of her ear. He shifted his body against hers suggestively, “So wench, now that I’ve trounced you at Super Smash Bros…”

“I know we had plans, but I am not having sex with you for the first time after that conversation with your sister,” Brienne laughed as she tried not to moan at the hardness of him pressed into her.

Jaime dropped his forehead on her shoulder and sighed, “Already doing the sibling duty and cockblocking me, but I get that,” Jaime chuckled as he stopped teasing her with his movements, but continued to embrace her. “Um…” Jaime looked up, “Did you still uh… want to stay over tonight though?”

Brienne smiled at him and turned in his arms. Before Jaime realized what she was doing, his hips were cradled between her legs, and even through the multiple layers of clothes he could feel the warmth of her. “Yeah. My bag is already here,” she said. She brought him down for a long, wet, languid kiss and thrust up, rubbing her core against his hard cock. “Can we still…?”

Brienne moaned as he met her movement with his own, desperate and needy for more of her. “Gods yes,” Jaime panted. His hands roamed under her shirt, seeking a small breast and when his fingers brushed against an uncovered nipple, Brienne threw back her head and keened loudly.

His jeans and pajamas were definitely not going to survive the night, but Jaime couldn’t even begin to care.

What mattered was the warm, peaceful feeling that immediately infused into him when he woke up in her arms, their legs tangled, his arms also around her, the morning after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that they are officially together and all pretences are down "Shut up Jaime" basically is going to become Brienne's tag line as his brain to mouth filter dies a brutal death.
> 
> Also the hijinks that would be Robb/Cersei has tortured me since reading the author's notes in angel_deux's amazing Two Halves of A Soul so I'm letting it out.
> 
> Warning? Kind of? This fic _is_ tagged explicit. There be smut coming.


	20. Into the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where in Brienne stays over at Jaime's again.

After tutoring later that week, Brienne stayed over at Jaime’s again.

They sat on the couch, leaning up against each other, holding hands, as the credits to some film they hadn’t quite paid attention to rolled over the screen. “Do you get scared sometimes?” Jaime asked quietly. His thumb stroked the rough skin over her knuckles.

Brienne smiled a little and rubbed her head against his shoulder, “Terrified really.”

Jaime squeezed her hand in his, taking care not to squeeze hard enough to bruise, “I’ll be there for you... every step of the way.”

“I know.”

Jaime turned his head so that his lips pressed softly to the skin of her forehead. “Appointments, hospital visits, anything, everything,” Jaime murmured turning every word into a kiss, “It’s all a bit of a blur, but I remember my mom had a lot of them.”

“Jaime,” Brienne whispered as she pulled away from him and turned her body toward him. Her free hand came up to lightly dust the pads of her fingers over his cheek. He took it and kissed her palm, his eyes not leaving hers, “You have to promise me something Jaime.”

“I’m not going to promise you anything unless you tell me what I’m swearing to. There are things I know I could never promise Brienne.”

“Like what?” Brienne asked with a note of amusement in her voice.

“Like to stop loving you.”

“Silly,” Brienne sighed and rested her forehead against his, “Why would I ever make you promise to do that?”

Jaime chuckled lowly, “You once told me not to fall in love with you wench.”

Brienne hummed and skittered her fingers along the line of his nose, “Okay, you got me there.”

Jaime grinned against her palm, “What do you want me to promise you Brienne?”

Brienne tilted her head, “I want you to promise me Jaime… that when I’m gone,” Jaime opened his mouth, but Brienne shook her head, “That if I go before you,” she amended gently, “That you won’t become your father.”

Jaime stared at her, his emerald eyes shining. She had no way of knowing that he had already sworn to himself this exact thing. “I can’t even fathom right now—“

“I know Jaime, but if you can promise me this—“

“I promise Brienne,” Jaime uttered as he closed his eyes and then opened them again, “I promise that even if you’re…” he paused and steeled himself to put to words what his choice had been, “Even if you’ve gone… I-I will do my best to be a good man. I want to be a good man. And I don’t ever want to disappoint you… even if you’re…” Jaime hiccupped and squeezed his eyes shut so that the tears would not escape, “Not here anymore.”

Brienne leant forward and kissed him chastely on the lips as a single tear ran down her face, “Thank you Jaime.”

He nodded and pulled her fully into his arms and held her both gentle and firm, “Terrified is right,” he croaked and buried his face into her hair, taking in the sweet tropical scent of her shampoo.

Brienne nodded quickly as she wrapped herself with his warmth and buried her face in his shoulder, “Some days I get so scared.”

“You can be scared wench,” Jaime said as he ran his lips down the side of her throat, “I'll be scared too, but that means we can be scared together.”

Brienne sighed into his touch, “I don’t want to miss a thing,” she murmured as her hand brushed over his sides.

“Tell me anything you want and I’ll do my utmost." Jaime pulled back and looked into her eyes.

Brienne found his gaze with hers, “Take me to bed Jaime.”

He nodded.

* * *

Their first time was slow and gentle. Jaime didn’t know what to do to make sure that he didn’t hurt her, bruise her, make her bones ache, so she guided him the whole time with insistent touches and urgent words.

Their clothes had gone slowly. When they had landed on Jaime’s bed, all they had managed to divest were their socks outside in the small hallway. Although they had touched skin on skin before, they started first with hands on clothes.

Jaime had positioned them so that Brienne would be on top. Her hands roamed his torso and shoulders, her short nails scrapped against the fabric of his shirt. His hands skittered across her stomach and up to her breasts where he looked at her face as he gave them a gentle caress and then a squeeze. She moaned in pleasure as the pad of his thumb ran over the fabrics covering her nipple and she tipped forward to place sloppy kisses starting from his mouth, arcing up to his ear. The hand that wasn't bringing her pleasure slid down to stroke her thighs and give her ass a squeeze. At the flesh of Jaime's ear lobe, Brienne gently bit him and he jolted at the sensation, growling in pleasure.

The contact of teeth to skin set them both aflame.

Jaime tugged at the hem of her shirt and she nodded at him before he pulled it over her lean abdomen and up above her head. It was the first article of clothing to hit the floor and he marvelled at the smooth expanses of skin that were laid bare before him. He had touched it all, but he hadn’t seen her yet. The freckles of her face, shoulders, and arms covered every inch of her. One day he hoped to have every mark of her committed to memory. A celestial map of his own universe.

Taking his hands he took her waist and ran his thumbs over her lower ribs before he pushed himself up to a sitting position. They both moaned as she straddled his hips and his hard cock pulsed between them.

She grasped the hem of his shirt next and tried to pull it off of him, but she had a world more trouble since he wouldn’t stop kissing her collarbone and the shallow dip between her small breasts. Brienne berated him between her sighs and his chuckles. Finally the article of clothing was off and she chucked it right across the room in a dramatic flourish and his laughter lit up the space around them. “Is that how you treat my things wench?” Jaime teased as he began to undo the clasp of her bra.

Brienne hummed as she admired his bare chest and shoulders, “It’s how I treat the things that get in between me and you.”

Jaime growled as the hooks gave, “Oh, I like this side of you.” He helped her slide her bra down her arms and then dropped it on the floor. “Are you cold?” he asked her lazily as he leaned forward and took one nipple into his mouth while one of his hands went to cup the other breast.

Brienne’s fingers grasped at the hairs on the nape of his neck as she threw her head back and keened, “Gods, no.” She ground her hot core against his pulsing cock and his teeth grazed the pert peak as his jaw clenched at the overwhelming feeling. As Brienne tried to pull herself back together, she slid one hand across his shoulder and began to draw, with her nails, down the curve of the muscles of his arms.

Jaime grunted in pleasure as he released her nipple with a wet pop and stretched up to capture her lips again. The hand still at her waist curved around her to bring her closer, to try and merge him and her into one, and his palm laid flat against the small of her back. He pulled away from the kiss to see that her pupils were blown and that her eyes were dark with desire. “Gods Brienne, you’re amazing.”

Brienne nodded as she moved the hand on his arm to his back and then she ran a finger deliberately down the length of his spine. He moaned so loudly at the touch that Brienne couldn’t help but giggle as she buried her face into the crook of his neck. She turned her head a little bit to whisper into his ear, “Think about how I must have felt when you did that to me in the middle of the Classics courtyard.”

“Gods, I played dirty,” he breathed heavily, trying to clear the stars from his vision, as he simply continued to hold her closer.

Brienne nipped on his shoulder and he shuddered, “Lay back Jaime,” she commanded quietly. He complied and felt the cold rush between them when she didn’t follow. Swallowing deeply he saw her fingers move to undo his jeans. Taking his own hands and swirling them around her navel he looked up into her eyes and she nodded with a shy smile. He flicked at the button of her jeans too.

Jaime internally waxed sad poetics about the fact that Brienne had to move further away from him in order for them to get infinitely closer but he wiggled out of his own pants fast enough and she pulled down hers with the same urgency. Then she was back, lying down on top of him, and the only thing that was separating them was her underwear and his boxer briefs. “You have got to wear them again,” Jaime murmured into her lips.

“Hm?” Brienne questioned as she looked down at him.

For a moment he forgot what he was thinking about as he realized that she was stretched over him, nearly naked. The soft, subtle curve of her breasts were pressed against his chest, her hips were in line with his and her calves tangled with his own. His hands caressed every part of her that he could reach. And then he came back to himself when his fingers played at the hem of her underwear, “My boxer briefs. You have no idea how hot that was,” Jaime breathed.

Brienne giggled, brushed his hair from his forehead, and raised an eyebrow, “Already thinking about putting me back into clothes?”

“Gods no. That’s a job for tomorrow morning, or we can skip class and make it a job for the day after that.”

“We can’t be naked all day tomorrow Jaime,” Brienne teased and tapped the tip of his nose with her finger.

“So no protest to skipping classes then?” Jaime grinned.

Brienne hummed happily, “Maybe.”

“What do I have to do to convince you?”

Brienne’s eyes traced over the line of their connected bodies, “There are probably many things you could do,” she murmured near breathlessly. Jaime moaned and grunted as he flipped them, taking care once again, to not bruise Brienne. “I’m not a porcelain doll. Some bruises…” Brienne swallowed as she meaningfully held his gaze, “Some bruises are fine,” Brienne flushed, “Pleasurable even.” Her fingers dug into his shoulders and he groaned loudly. Brienne nuzzled him to make her point.

He sighed as his grip on her hips firmed, “I know, but you’re going to have to let me work this out over time. I’ll feel like a right bastard if I hurt you. And you must tell me if I hurt you, if you don't like something I do.” He wanted to banish Connington from her head.

Brienne gave him a sweet smile and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, “Don’t you mean _we_ are going to have to work this out. I don’t want to hurt you either.”

Jaime chuckled and kissed her brow, “Yes of course that’s what I mean wench. We can work this out again and again. Tomorrow… if you want,” he gave her a lighthearted smirk. He was going to banish Connington from their bed.

Brienne burst into a flurry of giggles and smacked him lightly on the chest, “Let’s get through the first time first!”

Jaime smirked and nodded. He began by kissing her lips and then Jaime traced the curve of her jaw, down the column of her neck and across her collarbone. At the center dip of her clavicle, his kisses swooped down her upper chest and slowly across one breast and then the other before he traced the arc of her abs with his tongue. Brienne reached for him as long moans and short cries tumbled from her lips at his ministrations and he gave her his hand to grasp onto with one of hers while her other brushed through the locks of his golden hair.

When he reached the edge of her underwear he slowly sat back up and let go of her hands. He could smell her arousal and could see that the garment was soaked with her need. Jaime took a moment for himself as he marvelled at the fact that she had become this wet for him, _because of him_. He had spent so long wrestling with his own body’s reaction to her that he had never contemplated how she could have been reacting to him. Did she become wet like this when they were making out in the stacks of Harrenhal? When he drove her home from campus? When he wore something pleasing to her eye? He hoped so.

Taking in a deep breath, he slowly pulled her underwear down the length of her long legs and admired the soft flaxen curls, and dark pink cunt revealed. As he brought them down, he worshiped kisses onto her inner thigh, to the back of her knees, down the slope of her calves to the bones of her ankles. He chucked the article of clothing the way of his shirt. He moved to touch her soft sex, to lick the wet desire from her seam, but she closed her legs to stop him. He looked up at her perplexed.

Instead of regretful, as he feared, Brienne looked at him dark and heady. She hurriedly pushed herself up to a sitting position and reached out to pluck at the hem of his boxers. She then shifted and guided him so that he was off the bed and standing before her, her blue, open gaze never leaving his. He swallowed deeply at the position, imagining that she could so easily wrap her lips around his throbbing length at the heights they found themselves at. Brienne shifted then so that her legs were pulled underneath her and she became eye level with his chest. She helped him removed his boxer briefs, all the while peppering kisses in patterns across his torso, even swirling her tongue where his nipples were and gently biting on them with her teeth. He jerked as his cock sprung free and groaned low in his throat as the feeling of cold air washed over his hot member. He stepped out of his boxers while Brienne gripped and caressed his muscled thighs.

He looked down at her sitting form from his standing position. She was eying his cock and licking her lips, one of her hands stroking his ass. Her other hand reached out to grasp his shaft and he understood why she had stopped him from touching her earlier. Jaime backed away and Brienne gave a surprised squeak. He made an indistinguishable sound, which he hoped she understood the meaning of, and then scrambled across the hall to grab a condom, cursing under his breath the whole time about how he had forgotten to move them from his washroom to his bedroom.

When he came back Brienne was once again lying down on the bed curled on her side and waiting for him with a big smile on her face and a beckoning hand. He waved the box of condoms at her with a smile of his own and she laughed as he crawled into bed beside her while ripping the box open and discarding all but one on the bedside table.

“Are you ready?” Jaime asked as he tore the packet open.

Brienne nodded as her fingers traced patterns on his chest, “Yes.”

“I’ll go slow.”

“I know.” Jaime grinned at her as he reached for his cock to roll the condom on. Instead he found that Brienne’s hand was already there waiting and when he looked up at her face, it was flushed a dark shade of red. “Can I?” she asked shyly.

Jaime grunted, “Of course, but try not to do anything that will make me embarrass myself.”

Brienne giggled as her hand wrapped around him carefully and he groaned loudly at her touch, “Like what?” she asked as she slowly began sliding her hand up and down over his hard length, the smoothness of the skin a new, different, but pleasing sensation.

Jaime nearly choked on his words as her hand worked him and her thumb caressed the soft head, smearing the bead of precum around in a small circle, “Like that, stop, stop,” he murmured, “Gods wench, you’ll be the end of me.”

Brienne grinned, “That’s not the goal.”

Jaime kissed her, “Well you’re doing very poorly then.” Brienne snorted in laughter as Jaime brushed her hand away so that he could roll the condom on.

Brienne watched, fascinated the entire time, and when he was done he looked at her with a raised eyebrow and she shrugged at him. “Call me curious. I’ve only ever seen that done on a banana.”

“Alright, no more talk about bananas. Come here, wench,” Jaime grinned as he wiggled closer to her. Brienne wiggled back and they pressed their bodies against one another and wrapped their arms around each other. His cock tried to slide between her thighs, knowing where it wanted to be. “So as to not embarrass myself too badly,” Jaime murmured against her lips as he reached one hand down between them and began to run his fingers through the curls of her mound and then between the wet folds.

Brienne moaned as Jaime found her clit and began to gently massage it, “Like that,” her breath stuttered as his fingers passed over her in a particular way, “A little harder Jaime.”

Jaime grunted as he kissed her jaw, “Yes Brienne, tell me what you like.”

Brienne whimpered and keened at his touch as he continued to play with her. His fingers circled her engorged nub, gentle and slow, but every so often, when she pushed against his palm, he would give her a light pinch that would cause her to cry his name in a way that would almost make him lose control.

Before Brienne reached her climax, but while she was shaking from pleasure, Jaime dipped two fingers into her pussy, her arousal coating his hand. He went slowly to the first knuckle, then the second, and then all the way. Brienne let out a loud moan at the feeling of his fingers spreading, curling, and thrusting into her as his thumb continued to play at the bundle of nerves. “Oh gods, Jaime.”

“Yes Brienne?” he hummed with a smirk on his face as he nuzzled and gently nipped at the skin of her neck.

Her hands clutched at his shoulders as her nails dug in, “Jaime, fast _please_!”

He kissed her again and again and again as she continued to keen his name in ways he never could have imagined. Suddenly, her spine snapped taut and then arched. Her hands grappled at the muscles of his back as she sobbed his name. He continued to thrust his fingers into her, extending her release as far as he could, until she was quivering in his embrace begging for relief. When her breathing finally slowed to the feel of his lips peppering her temples and hairline, he smiled gently at her, “Are you okay?”

Brienne nodded slowly, deliriously, “Yeah.”

“Did you still want to—?“ It was quite frankly a miracle that he hadn’t cum from the feel of her peaking in his arms.

“Definitely,” she breathed as she shifted so as to get Jaime to hover over top of her. He complied and she once again skittered her fingers over his cock, pumping him slowly as she opened her legs so that he could settle his hips between them.

Jaime stared into her eyes as she guided him to her core and felt the head press into the dip of her entrance. Brienne bit her lower lip and nodded at him. He nodded back and kissed the crook of her neck as he gradually pressed into her. She moaned low in her throat, her sheath stretching to accommodate him, and he could feel as she clenched tightly around him. He continued to push into her until he couldn’t push anymore, until he was in her to the hilt. He took two deep breaths in, “Good?” he asked strained as her muscles rippled around him.

Her voice was high and her eyes were glazed in desire, but she whispered, “Very good.” He began moving.

Her legs wrapped around his hips, crossed at his lower back, and her arms wrapped back around his shoulders. Her nails dug into the muscles of his deltoids and he let out a hiss of pleasure as he kissed her cheek. Jaime almost couldn’t think as he thrust into her. He felt her clench around his cock, he felt her arms tighten around his shoulders, he felt her teeth bite desperately into his shoulder as she cried out her pleasure. The sensation of her around him was all encapsulating and then too quick he felt his release. She squeaked as he shuddered above her and flexed within her. Jaime rued that he hadn’t brought her to a second climax with him, but he had known that this was probably what was going happen. That he wouldn't last very long their first time. Still, she held him as he trembled and then slowly her legs loosened and he tumbled to the side so as not to crush her.

“Ugg,” he groaned as he covered his eyes with his forearm, “That probably could have been better for you.”

She nuzzled her way under his other arm and propped her head onto his shoulder as he threw away the condom and pulled his blanket over both of them before the sweat and the near winter air could affect her. “What are you talking about Jaime?” Brienne said dreamily as she nuzzled him sweetly, “That was amazing.”

He smiled at her with hooded eyes as she wrapped herself around him and he wrapped himself around her. “It was amazing for me too.”

“Oh thank gods,” Brienne murmured as she fully relaxed into a being that resembled jello.

“Another round in five minutes?”

“Jaime!”

“You know when you say my name like that it’ll only be two.”

Brienne bit her bottom lip, “I know.”

Jaime chuckled and held her closer, “Minx.”

"I want to taste you next time."

"Minx!"

"Do you not like that?"

Jaime sighed, "Of course I like that though, but not before I get to taste you." Jaime grinned as Brienne flushed crimson, "The goal is to have you not walking by tomorrow night."

"Jaime!"

They both laughed together between slow lazy kisses and then they fell asleep.

The didn’t go to classes the next day. Jaime brought them dinner in bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't write smut very often... I hope it doesn't show too badly haha.


	21. Semester's End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the Fall Semester ends and Christmas is coming.

“Do you have any plans around Christmas?” Sansa asked as she jumped back and forth on the sidewalk and rubbed her hands together to get warm, “Also stop cuddling, or include me, it’s freezing.”

“Come here,” Brienne grinned as she opened her arms.

Sansa squealed as she dived right in between Jaime and Brienne and snuggled between their two overly tall bodies. “I have nothing in particular planned,” Jaime muttered as he brushed the snow off of Sansa’s locks of hair and then brought her in deeper into their warmth circle. “But I was hoping…” he looked at Brienne implicitly.

“I spend Christmas day with my dad, which you are more than welcome to crash, but my Christmas Eve is completely free… right Sansa?”

Sansa chirped, “Yes, yes. Mom is having our Christmas party on the twenty second this year.”

“And I think the Baratheon Christmas Bash is on the twentieth,” Brienne murmured. Both Sansa and Jaime looked at Brienne meaningfully and she gave them both a small smile. “I can’t be scared of going to parties for forever,” she said, “But maybe just… don’t let me out of your sight.”

“Of course,” Sansa murmured as she hugged Brienne tightly and didn't let go. Jaime didn’t even say anything, just gave her a look and Brienne knew.

“Are there any traditions at the Stark Christmas dinner that I need to worry about?” Jaime asked.

“No mandatory present exchanges, which means no set present exchange time. You can bring them, but just give them out whenever and open them whenever,” then Sansa giggled, “And then mistletoe! Mistletoe everywhere!” she cried as she waved her arms in the air and nearly smacked both Brienne and Jaime in their faces.

Jaime stared at her, “That doesn’t sound very Catelyn Stark.”

“Well no one kisses under the mistletoe, there would be a lot of awkward situations if we did that,” Sansa continued to giggle. “What we do instead is that when everyone arrives, they can go get this book of stickers. When you see someone standing under the mistletoe, instead of giving them a kiss, you stick a sticker on their Christmas sweater, oh that’s another tradition, you _have_ to wear one, and usually the stickers mom gets are really hard to get off, but they dissolve in the washing machine. It’s like this fun test to see who is completely unaware of their environment.”

“It’s usually Jon. It has been Jon since we were really young.” Brienne said.

Sansa nodded his head, “He knows nothing. For being a competent cop, he’s _completely_ unaware of his environment when there isn’t danger involved. Now, the person who has the most stickers at the end of night is made to kiss someone. It’s usually just a kiss on the cheek though because that’s gross otherwise.”

“I’m guessing your mom didn’t propose that,” Jaime chuckled.

“Absolutely not. But she was over ruled when we all got old enough,” Sansa giggled, “We’re nice to Jon and if he brings a girl, its usually her and if not we choose Arya who is his favourite Stark cousin to kiss on the cheek, mainly because she thinks it’s torture too.”

“It’s a fun game,” Brienne said. Her eyes flashed, “I’ve never lost of course.”

Jaime’s eyes twinkled, “Who ever gets the least number of stickers?”

“Gets what?” Brienne asked as she rose to his challenge.

Jaime’s eyebrows wiggled and Brienne burst into laughter. Sansa looked between them and pouted, “Please stop. I have a need to be warm, but it’s very awkward when you’re making sex bets over my head.”

“Sorry little Cat, sorry,” Jaime laughed as he huddled her in closer.

Sansa just continued to pout, “I’m going to miss this. I can’t believe today is the last day. Harrenhal is going to open in the New Year.”

“We can still hang out on the weekend Sansa,” Brienne said as she nudged her friend.

Sansa eyed both of them, “Are you sure you’re not just going to replace this time with…” She made incredibly explicit motions with her hands that made Brienne blush and Jaime guffaw.

“Gods no!” Brienne squeaked.

“No?” Jaime teased.

“Shut up Jaime!”

Sansa laughed.

* * *

Brienne rolled her hips while gently sucking at the sensitive skin at the base of Jaime’s jaw. Her fingers idly rubbed at his nipples as her nails scraped at his chest. “Fuck, wench, move faster,” Jaime groaned as he tried to gain some leverage from his sitting position on the couch to thrust up into her. Brienne simply grinned, biting her lip in mirth, and tensed the muscles of her thighs and calves, holding his pelvis down as she continued to slowly ride him.

“I quite like this pace,” Brienne teased as she deliberately rolled her hips again, letting him slide nearly out of her warmth before sheathing his cock with one swift movement. She sighed in pleasure.

Jaime’s fingers dug into Brienne’s waist as he desperately sought her lips with his own, but she continued to evade him by marking kissing down the long line of his throat. “I swear Brienne…”

Brienne bit the curve of his shoulder and then gentle lapped at the dull ache while Jaime shuddered underneath her, once again thrusting up to try and rut desperately into her. “Swear what Jaime?” asked with a playful lilt as she ran her fingers down his side. She clamped her legs around him tighter and caused the muscles of her sex to ripple around his engorged shaft. But she didn’t roll her hips again, choosing to stay still above him, and he nearly began to beg.

“Fuck,” Jaime swore as his back arched off the couch. He squeezed his eyes shut trying to survive Brienne’s onslaught, “If you don’t fuck me harder right now, I’ll move this to the bedroom and fuck you ‘til you’re screaming.”

Brienne’s blue eyes shone and one of her eyebrows arched, “You can’t move me Jaime, I’m too heavy for you.”

Jaime’s eyes glinted as he held her gaze, “You doubt me wench?” Jaime moved both of his hands to cup her ass, planted his feet on the floor, and with a grunt pushed himself to a standing position.

Brienne squealed as Jaime moved inside of her and threw her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, “Jaime! You’re going to hurt yourself!”

Jaime grinned against Brienne’s cheek, “Too heavy for me? What fucking nonsense,” he said as he squeezed her ass and drove into her.

Brienne squeaked as her arms tightened around his neck, her hands dug into his hair, and she buried her face into the crook of his neck. “Oh gods,” she panted in desire as she grappled as his back to pull herself closer, “Okay fine, you’ve proven your point. Just take us to the bedroom before you pull something!”

“Not what a man wants to hear when he’s fucking his girlfriend wench,” Jaime smirked as he sucked at the long, pale, freckled column of her neck. If she was going to mark him up, he was going to do that same to her, “And I’ve decided the bedroom is much too far.”

Jaime started to walk and Brienne groaned when each movement caused him to slide in and out of her until suddenly, her back was pressed up against a wall. “Jaime?” Brienne questioned as she met his lust darkened gaze. The moment she understood his intent, her pupils blew wide open, and the blue of her eyes deepened. He could feel her cunt get slicker around him whilst she gave him the smallest of nods.

Jaime nibbled on the lobe of Brienne’s ear before growling, “Never tease a lion, wench.” And with that he used his upper body to pin Brienne up against the wall, her warmth and his warmth mingling into one. Jaime quickly slid one hand from her ass and looped the arm under one of her knees, replacing the hand on the wall for stability. Then, he plunged into her dripping wet core again and again, while kissing her passionately between her wails of pleasure. The sweetest voice echoed his name around him.

* * *

The last Winter Semester Fair meeting was held the following week. Christmas break would come after and then in the first week of the new school year there would be a dress rehearsal and then the Fair itself.

Jaime sighed as he was given the final fit of his costume. Luckily, being the narrator meant that he was dressed fairly plainly.

Not that it mattered; this was a _modern_ retelling of Classic poems and prose. Modern, being not modern at all as communicated by the script, but by a myriad of not quite modern but also definitely not Classics appropriate costumes. Jaime wondered if they had simply run out of money along the way and had to borrow and alter from the Drama Department. It would make more sense than this flimsy excuse of an idea.

Jaime pulled at the long sleeves of his white shirt and lifted his arms as he checked the fit of the chestnut waistcoat. It all worked fine enough with his dark brown breeches and calf high boots. The cravat was a bit much though, and was itching his neck, but he would suffer with it for now and see if he could get it burnt before the Fair. He was pretty sure he was borrowing the costume of someone from a Regency era play. All he was missing was the tailcoat. He went to find Brienne to see how much she liked Mr. Darcy.

When he found her, the first thing Jaime did was burst out laughing. “Oh Gods, wench!”

“Shut up Jaime, I swear!” Brienne growled while rubbing her bare arms, “I am so cold right now.”

Jaime walked up to her and kissed her cheek as she hugged herself in a desperate bid for warmth, “I’ll go find you a coat… or you could do some aerobics,” he suggested with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

At the glower he received, Jaime chuckled and turned on his heel, rushing to find where he had left his bomber jacket. He was back in a couple of seconds and he helped Brienne wiggle her bare arms into the sleeves, “Thanks,” she muttered darkly as she buried her face into the collar of the coat and her hands in the pockets.

“Are they going to tease your hair too?”

Brienne glared at him, “Yes,” she finally said as she rolled her eyes to the ceiling. “Yes they are.”

Jaime threw his arm around her shoulders as she snuggled into him, still pouting and petulant but unwilling to reject his affection and warmth. “You _do not_ look good in fluorescent pink.”

“I know,” Brienne whined.

“But I do like those purple leg warmers on you,” Jaime smirked suggestively, “If we exchanged them for a sensible pair of wool knee high socks, oh or thigh high socks, we’d be killing two birds with one stone. Your feet would stay warm and—“

“Shush Jaime Lannister,” Brienne muttered as she poked him in the ribs, “Or else I will never wear knee or thigh high socks.”

“That would be a fucking waste,” Jaime grinned as he kissed her temple, “Those socks with your legs…”

“After the meeting.”

“Where _do_ they sell those fucking socks? Will the place still be open?” Jaime chuckled with a tease as he peppered more kisses into her hairline.

“At the mall.”

“Thank you for your vast oceans of knowledge wench,” Jaime sniggered. He went back to observing the room. “Gods, I’m dashing Mr. Darcy and you’re in a green leotard.”

“I’m more partial to Captain Wentworth.”

“You pierce my soul.”

Brienne sighed as she snuggled deeper into his arms, “I may have just fallen more in love with you.”

Jaime preened, “Audiobooks Brienne. Audiobooks.”

* * *

Before he could hit the green call button, his phone rang and he nearly dropped it on the floor. Sometimes with Cersei, you just thought about her and like a demon she appeared out of the deep. Jaime answered the call, “I was just about to phone you,” he said.

“About what?” Cersei asked testily.

Jaime grunted, “Well maybe you should fucking tell me why you phoned me first.”

“You’re going to the Stark Christmas dinner with your girlfriend right?”

“Yes…” Jaime said slowly, “I am… why are you… no! You aren’t. You didn’t. You did!”

“He asked me! Okay? And it would be rude to say no.”

“Yes, because you’ve never been rude a day in your life.”

“Obviously.”

“Of course.”

“Shut up Jaime.”

“So, what about it?” Jaime asked as he tried not to snicker too much.

Cersei hissed on the other end of the line, “I need your help buying a Christmas sweater.”

“You’re actually going to wear one? Isn’t that like… the ultimate fashion faux pas or something.”

“He said it was mandatory!”

“When has this ever stopped you from doing anything?” Jaime questioned. At the silence he got back, Jaime let out a bark of laughter and decided to play nice, “Let’s go shopping together then. Because somehow buying a Christmas sweater is impossible for you.”

“Really? You’ll help me?”

“Yeah. It’ll be fucking hilarious and because the reason I was going to call you was to ask you what I should buy my girlfriend for Christmas.”

“Buy her what she wants Jaime.”

“Thanks for the great advice Cersei.”

“Oh Seven help us all. Fine. I will help you with that if you help me with the sweater.”

Jaime chuckled, “Okay. How does this weekend sound?”

“Fine by me. Meet you at the mall?”

“Sure.” And with that Cersei hung up. Jaime sat laughing silently at his kitchen table for a straight ten minutes.

* * *

On the last day of tutoring for the fall semester, there was no tutoring to be had. Most of the finals were already underway or completed and instead a party was held for all of the tutors and their students.

Jaime and Brienne sat beside each other at the party exchanging quips and talking to a bunch of the first years that they had helped during their time that semester.

Pod, being the student that had worked with both of them the most through out the semester, had bought them both presents and had insisted that they open them together. He had blushed hotly when Brienne and Jaime had pulled at the gift wrap and two personalized mugs, meant to compliment each other, were unveiled. Both of the mugs had a stylized cartoon picture of Oathkeeper on the ceramic, Pod was also a fan of the Valyrian steel sword, and in writing Brienne’s mug said _Brienne Tarth #1 Tutor Mom_ and Jaime’s mug said _Jaime Lannister #1 Tutor Dad_. Brienne had very nearly cried at the gesture and had quickly exchanged emails with Pod so that they could keep in contact, passing Jaime’s details to Pod as well.

* * *

Basketball season was also wrapping up and Jaime was glad that he would never have to see the likes of Robert Baratheon and Euron Greyjoy ever again. He could keep the friends he liked and finally dump out the bastards he didn’t. Addam seemed to agree whole heartedly and even Bronn and Oberyn whom always seemed a little more forgiving of Euron at least and tolerated Robert’s antics at most seemed excited to be free.

“You won’t get a fucking invite to Baratheon Bash!” Robert hollered angrily.

The four of them had left the basketball court with plans to go to the nearest pub and had blatantly not invited either Robert or Euron. “You forget Robert! I’ll have a personal invite; I’m buggering Renly!” Jaime replied with a grin and a resounding high five with Addam. Bronn and Oberyn laughed.

“Excuse me, who are you buggering?” Jaime jerked and turned to see Renly coming out of the squash courts looking for all the world like a god come from on high with Loras behind him who looked equally amused and only slightly less attractive even though both of them were gross and sweaty, “I don’t see you for just a couple of weeks Jaime Lannister and suddenly everything goes out of control. Brienne has been weaving these intricate tales, but your attraction to me hasn’t been one of them.”

Jaime grimaced wondering what those stories could possibly be about and then remembered that the last time he had seen Renly was after Baratheon Halloween Bash more than a month ago. A lot _had_ happened. “We should catch up,” Loras jumped in helpfully and looked at everyone there, pausing for just a moment on Jaime to give him a meaningful look, “All of us. Crisis makes character.”

“Crisis makes character,” Bronn repeated as though he had just eaten a lemon, “Do you fucking hear yourself you giant flower?”

“We’re going to the pub now if you want to join us,” Addam said instead as he palmed Bronn’s face and pushed him backwards, “Maybe we can talk about Baratheon Christmas Bash.”

Oberyn hissed testily as he recalled the crashing of his orgy at the last Baratheon Bash, “It is people who don’t understand concepts such as consent that give perfectly beautiful concepts like polyamory and BDSM a bad name.”

“I get where you are coming from,” Renly said slowly, “And it’s totally true,” he continued, “And I don’t think I could prevent you from starting an orgy if I tried,” he muttered, “But please, please, keep your more risqué bondage gear to your own home.”

Oberyn grinned the same grin he had when he had stabbed the Mountain during his initiation match, “No promises.”

“Oh gods,” Loras echoed as Renly turned pale and shook his head.

* * *

“So there is a non-zero chance that if I open a random door in the Baratheon mansion, that I will find Oberyn and an unknown number of people using a sex swing,” Cersei said slowly as they walked side by side at the mall.

“Yup,” Jaime said popping the P. “A sex swing decorated to look like a Christmas tree, star on top and all. So put your ear to every door first, because as it turns out, you’ll be lucky if it’s _just_ a sex swing.”

Cersei grimaced, “He _does_ like to have fun and the girls and guys I know who have slept with him say he’s very good about it.”

“He could be a fucking great sex education teacher if he wasn’t bat shit crazy,” Jaime chuckled, “He would need someone to hold him back and that is a task too big for any mortal man.”

Cersei snorted as she looked into another store. “What about perfume?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever smelled her wearing any before and I don’t want to accidentally get her something with a floral note,” Jaime explained.

Cersei pursed her lips ignoring the fact that Jaime could probably just use his own nose to determine if there was a floral tone, “Okay. Jewelry.”

“She plays sports.”

“She _played_ sports Jaime. Neither I nor anyone on the squad has seen her on a team since she started uni.”

Jaime paused and looked at her, “You’re right.” And his mind began to buzz a mile a minute.

“I speak only truths.”

Jaime chuckled and teased, “Sure...” as he stuffed his hands into his pockets and grinned. This was strange, but great. He was about to make fun of his sister for her crush on a _boy_. They had been too young when they had started what they had started, crushes had never been a thing for either of them. It was probably a huge part of their problem. “How _is_ Robb Stark doing these days?”

If hair could suddenly puff up, that was what Cersei’s hair did as what almost seemed like a small explosion occurred in the circuitry of her brain, “Robb Stark is nothing!”

“Nothing meaning... everything?”

“Absolutely not. I would never kiss those stupid cherry red lips that…” Cersei gestured erratically with her hands and ended the wild movements with a choking motion, “...Pull up and reveal that stupid dimple.”

Jaime snorted, he hadn’t mentioned anything resembling kissing, “Gods Cersei, dimples? Really.”

“Dimple Jaime! There’s only one!”

“I know! I’ve heard!” Jaime laughed as he nearly tripped over his own feet. Cersei smacked him in the thigh with her shopping bag and huffed loudly.

She looked back into the bag and frowned. “Do you really think that this is a nice sweater?”

“As I said before, I think that it would _not_ look good on you. You know that vibrant reds, greens, and golds compliment you best,” Jaime grinned, “But since you want to match Robb Stark’s eyes so much, that robin’s egg blue sweater will do just fine.”

Cersei looked up at Jaime scandalized, “That is _not_ what I want to do! Why the hell would I want to match Robb Stark’s eyes?” She smacked him with her bag again.

“Uh huh, I’ve seen the Stark eyes, I know the shade even if I have no idea what colour a robin’s egg is,” Jaime groused.

Cersei grimaced, “Does it actually match?” she asked as she once again peeked into the bag.

“Were you not going for that?”

“No!” Cersei whined, “Why didn’t you say something?”

“Because I thought you were going for that!”

“You were just going to let me embarrass myself in front of him?” Cersei cried as she shook the bag with both of her hands, “I need to get a different sweater!”

“Oh Seven help us all,” Jaime guffawed as Cersei glared at him, willing him to burst into flame, “Cersei you obviously like him. He probably likes you.”

“Robb Stark likes me?”

“He invited you over to his fucking family’s Christmas dinner. I know in our household that’s usually a punishment that we wouldn’t inflict upon our greatest enemies, but it’s supposed to be a good thing in theirs.”

A coy smile curved onto Cersei’s lips, “Robb Stark likes me.”

“Oh Seven hells what have I done.”

“I knew it.”

“Gods this Christmas…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be completely honest, the reason why everyone is dressed up in silly clothes for the showcase and why Jaime is in Regency era get up is because I was trying to stop myself from starting a Braime Persuasion AU. It worked but that means Jaime is going to be quoting Persuasion on and off all over the place now because Brienne (I) liked it so much haha.
> 
> This was another merger chapter. The next one will be like... half the length of this one haha.


	22. The Stranger in the Corner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jaime goes to a check up with Brienne

Brienne had a doctor’s appointment, the last one of the year, before the Christmas holidays. It was the first one that she asked Jaime to attend with her. It was almost like a right of passage and even though Jaime had been the one to ask her to rely on him, he was the one that was terrified on the day.

Jaime knocked on the azure door to Brienne's house and Selwyn opened it once again. "Little Jaime Lannister," he greeted cheerfully and stood to the side to let Jaime in.

Jaime tried not to shake. He really did, but not only was he nervous about going to an appointment with Brienne, he was also nervous about talking to Selwyn again for the first time since he and Brienne had started going out. There was no way that Brienne had told her father that they had engaged in sexual acts, right? _Right?_ But it was hopeless either way, Brienne had stayed over at his place too many times for Selwyn not to know what was going on. Maybe Jaime should have bought a peace offering. _I'm sorry I am sexually attracted to your daughter sir. Please don't squish me._ The fact that Selwyn hadn't hunted him down when he had dropped Brienne off on the curb after she had told him she was sick was already mercy enough. "Hello sir."

Selwyn's mouth quirked up in the most amused of smiles, "Call me dad."

Jaime blanched. A pillow came sailing from the second floor landing and thwacked into the side of Selwyn's face before slowly rolling off of his shoulder, "Stop making fun of Jaime dad!" Brienne shouted.

Selwyn burst into mirthful chuckles as he committed Jaime's wide eyed look to memory, "Come on in. Brienne is still getting ready." Jaime tried not to gurgle on his own saliva as he entered the house and slipped off his shoes. He picked up the pillow Brienne had chucked at her father and fluffed it. "Make yourself comfortable, I'll go make us some tea," Selwyn whistled, clearly delighted at the response he had garnered from his daughter's, _finally_ , boyfriend.

"I can help," Jaime said as he hugged the pillow to his chest. It was one of Brienne's; he could tell by the scent and it calmed him somewhat.

Selwyn simply waved him off as he disappeared into the kitchen and Jaime collapsed onto the couch trying to gather back his wits, smoothing the pillow on his lap. If Jaime had been unsure about whether or not Selwyn had known about Brienne's crush on him, Selwyn's positive delight spelled it out pretty clearly. 

When Selwyn returned, it was with a soothing cup of chamomile tea. Jaime found it mildly ironic that Selwyn was now trying to reduce his anxiety after ramping the meter up off the charts, but Jaime supposed it had worked in a way. For about five minutes, he hadn't thought about the check up. "It's okay to be nervous son," Selwyn said as he took a gulp of his pipping hot beverage. Jaime's head snapped up to stare at him, but the term of endearment had been like water rolling off of Selwyn's tongue. Jaime wondered how often Selwyn referred to him that way when he spoke to Brienne. "Do you want me to explain to you what you should expect?" he asked kindly.

Jaime nodded, "Yes sir. If it's not too much trouble."

Selwyn gave him a smile, "Not at all," and then he talked to Jaime soothingly for about ten minutes, about the appointment and about other things.

Soon enough Brienne appeared down stairs and Jaime did indeed feel calmer. Jaime didn’t know if this was all part of the procedure, and Renly and Sansa had gone through the same thing, or not, but it had helped. The appointment was going to more or less function like a regular check up and there was absolutely no reason to freak out. No reason. No reason whatsoever. _Calmer_. Not calm.

"You weren't too hard on Jaime?" Brienne teased as she came to her father's side.

"I was on my best behaviour my shooting star," Selwyn chuckled. Brienne kissed her father goodbye on the cheek and Jaime gave her his arm as they exited the house. She looked at him like he was a lunatic, but went along with it in the end and took his elbow as though he were a gentleman caller. He breathed a sigh of relief, said goodbye to Selwyn, who gave him a reassuring smile, and then Jaime led her out to his car.

“You know what’s annoying,” Brienne pouted as Jaime climbed into the driver’s seat. “I’m always hungry on the morning of my appointments, but I’m not allowed to eat.”

Jaime grinned at her and took her hand in his, smoothing his other hand over her knuckles, “We can get something to eat right after.”

“Ah,” Brienne sighed as she leaned over and bumped the crown of her head to his chin, “By then I’ve lost my appetite.”

“What about the second you’re done your appointment?” Jaime asked as he nuzzled her hair.

“Still usually hungry then,” Brienne huffed and sat back in her seat, “But you can’t get delivery at the clinic Jaime,” she warned.

Jaime pouted a bit as he turned on the ignition and put the car into drive. He then dug into his pocket as the car pulled onto the street and waved around the granola bars he still had stored in there, “And Addam made fun of me for being prepared for a granola related emergency.”

Brienne’s eyes lit up in laughter as she reached for the hand waving around, took it, and then dragged it to her lips to kiss it, “My hero.”

Jaime beamed, “I keep saying wench. I keep saying.”

* * *

“Oh he’s cute.”

“I know, right?” Brienne giggled as she hopped onto the examination table and pulled up one of her sleeves. Jaime awkwardly shuffled by the entrance to the examination room before Brienne nodded at a chair in the corner and he sat down stiffly, looking around with wide eyes.

“First time?” the nurse asked as she took Brienne’s blood pressure, pulse, and blood oxygen levels. Jaime eyes swivelled to the petite nurse, swallowed, and nodded slowly. The nurse smiled at him in understanding, “It gets easier.”

“Listen to Dany, Jaime,” Brienne murmured gently and tilted her head to give him a small smile, “She sees people like you and me all the time.”

Dany winked at Brienne, “Well not quite like him… though you do bring them in Brienne.”

Brienne laughed as her attention turned back to the nurse, “Renly right?”

Dany gave a low whistle as her eyes rolled to the ceiling, “If that man was into women…”

“He’d definitely be taken.”

“He would so be taken,” Dany sighed loudly as she dismantled all of the equipment she had attached onto Brienne’s arm, “Alright. Your blood pressure and everything else is in the normal range even though it could do with being higher since it’s very close to the lower bound. We’ll have to make sure you’re not anemic. You’ve gained some weight, that’s good. It’s what boyfriends do, don’t they Mr…”

“Lannister,” Jaime croaked as his eyebrows pulled together at the praise Renly Baratheon fest that was happening in front of him, “Jaime Lannister.” And then he remembered that Brienne had already said his first name and flushed.

Dany giggled, “Oh my.”

“I know right?” Brienne said affectionately as she reached out a hand. Jaime shamefully gave her one of his as he hid his face in the other.

“Wait... is he _the_ Jaime?"

Jaime's head snapped up, his hand still on his face, as Brienne flushed a dark red. "Maybe," she muttered quickly, not meeting Jaime's eye even though his grip on her hand tightened. Had she blathered on about her crush on him to her nurses too? Jaime's heart swelled in his chest as he stared at his girlfriend in awe. 

"Get ‘em girl!" Dany grinned as she looked back and forth between the two, "I’ll get Dr. Tarly in here soon. He’ll have a blood work requisition and a prescription ready for you.”

“Thank you,” Brienne murmured, still flushed, as she traced Jaime’s knuckles with her thumb.

Dany smiled, “No problem.” And with that she slipped out of the room.

Brienne bent down and tried to peak between Jaime’s fingers, “You okay?” she asked shyly.

“I feel like a fucking idiot in more ways than one,” he replied, his voice dripping with affection for her, "You told her about me?"

"I see her so often that eventually we had to talk about something interesting," Brienne murmured and bit her bottom lip, "She asked me if I had a significant other."

"And you told her about me."

"And I told her no."

"And then you told her about me."

Brienne sighed, "And then I told her about you."

Jaime stood up from his seat and gathered Brienne up into his arms, "Gods, I'm such an idiot."

"You're not."

"But I am. First, not seeing you sooner and second, being a complete mess today when you have to do this all the time."

Brienne's mouth dropped open as she suddenly understood part of the reason for his embrace. She rubbed her face into the fabric of his shirt and wrapped her arms around his waist. “You’re doing fine. Sansa couldn’t even speak the first time. We were worried she was going to faint.”

Jaime frowned down at her, “And Renly?”

Brienne gave him a sheepish smile, “Sorry, he was perfect.”

Jaime groaned as he held her closer, “Ugg, I can’t believe this. A guy my girlfriend used to have a crush on is doing doctor's appointments with her better than me… wait…" Jaime loosened his grip and placed his hands on Brienne's shoulders and held her just far enough away that he could look into her eyes, "When did you like Renly? He didn’t go to elementary with us.”

Brienne pressed her lips into a thin line, “First year of high school,” she said softly and quickly.

Jaime gaped at her, “But. I thought… I thought you said… wench!”

“I did like you the whole time!” Brienne cried with a slight giggle at his indignation, “It was, you know… at that point it had already been years and you were obviously not into me…”

“Right… Cersei,” Jaime grimaced as he brought Brienne back towards his chest and tangled his fingers into her hair, “Your crush on me is why you knew about me and Cersei. And because you knew about Cersei you went and started liking perfect fucking Renly. Oh by the Seven calamity begets calamity.”

“I think you’re being overly dramatic Jaime,” Brienne giggled as she stretched up to kiss the underside of his chin.

Jaime only continued, “Calamity,” he said solemnly.

“All he did was dance with me once Jaime. He wasn’t a hero,” Brienne tried to comfort.

Jaime frowned, “I haven’t danced with you yet,” he whined.

“Oh bother.”

* * *

Brienne had looked a great deal more exhausted after getting her blood drawn and Jaime could already see that a very big bruise was going to form at her elbow crease where the needle had gone in. He had basically plied her with granola bar after granola bar after they left the medical laboratory and although she had eaten with relish she didn't want to go get more substantial food.

“Sorry Jaime, I just want some sleep,” Brienne sighed as he helped shuffle her into the car and then placed her bag of prescription medications on her lap.

“Do you want me to take you home then?” he asked as he scurried over to the driver’s side and slid in.

Brienne looked at him meaningfully and bit her bottom lip, “Actually, I was wondering if we could go to your place. Cuddle a little bit…”

Jaime grinned adoringly at her, “Of course!”

“I probably won’t have the energy to—“

“Wench, I love a good cuddle. Cuddle me up real hard. Fucking cuddle me up good.”

Brienne giggled, “I can do that.”

“Excellent.”

* * *

They were lying snuggled in his bed together and she was fast asleep in his arms as he ran his hands through her long hair. The sunlight outside was fading even though it was only late afternoon.

Jaime enjoyed the peace, the quiet sound that was just Brienne breathing in and out, and the whisper that was her breath against his collarbone. Their legs were tangled beneath his heavy blanket and she was wrapped around him, comfortable and safe.

He didn’t mind this at all, this soft respite that he got with her. He enjoyed it even, because it meant that he could feel her alive in his arms. She was a large, warm body that wanted to be close to his warm body, and not only were the close, they were each other’s.

He could imagine the rest of his life being like this: Brienne in his arms as she slept during the day, during the night, in bed, on the couch, in his apartment, in a glade, or by the sea.

He couldn’t imagine the day that she wouldn’t be anymore.

But that day would come.

It was either going to be him or her and it was scary that it was much more likely going to be her and it wasn’t going to be when they were both ninety, old, and gray.

But that was the fundamental of it. Whether she did or did not have cancer.

Someday the Stranger would come and take one of them and leave the other behind for a second, a minute, a year, a decade… more. They couldn’t know when or even how.

So Jaime was glad he was here, right now, with her, in his arms.

However, he still prayed that the Stranger would not yet touch her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Brienne says "Oh bother" I imagine it as her doing a Winnie the Pooh imitation


	23. Story of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where in it is the day after Baratheon Christmas Bash.

The day after the Baratheon Christmas Bash everyone woke up in Jaime’s apartment.

Renly hadn’t wanted to stay at his place once he was done with the Christmas revelry, it was Stannis’ turn to deal with Robert’s mess anyways, Loras had followed, Sansa had cemented herself onto Brienne’s side, stealing Jaime's side of the bed and leaving him to the living room floor with the other guys, and Addam was still slowly collecting on Jaime’s refrigerator debt. The four blankets that Jaime had bought for his first date with Brienne had come to use once again, although Addam was highly concerned if they had been washed since that starry night. He had gotten two pillows thrown at his face, one from either side, for his inquisition.

It was now late in the afternoon and Jaime turned on the fireplace channel and some music in the background as those who drank recovered from their hang overs and Brienne buried herself in a pile of reacquired blankets with Sansa to keep warm as they all gathered on the living room floor.

“Remind me to never drink again,” Addam groaned from his prone position on the floor.

"Aww, but you were so fun last night," Brienne teased.

Addam turned and grinned at her as best he could when moving his face hurt, and gave her two thumbs up. Jaime rolled his eyes at the two of them and sat down behind Brienne and pulled her and her pile of blankets into his lap. Brienne shifted the pile so that her back was pressed right up against Jaime’s chest and she nuzzled into his neck.

“Ugg, all of you, stop being adorable,” Sansa whined as she petulantly shifted in Brienne’s arms and glared as Renly and Loras who were curled around each other. “Some of us are single.”

“I’m lonely over here,” Addam grinned at her and opened his arms. She turned to him with a wrinkled nose, but genuinely seemed to consider the offer to Addam’s obvious delight.

“You don’t have to go to him,” Brienne declared dramatically as she hugged Sansa tighter, “Stay with me,” Brienne said lowly into Sansa’s ear, channeling her inner prince charming. Sansa squealed in laughter as she cuddled into Brienne, “I won’t give you to him.”

“Brienne makes the best knight out of all of us,” Renly chuckled as he cracked open one eye to watch the scene.

“I like this arrangement, the wench gets everything and Addam gets nothing,” Jaime grinned, “Means you’re on door duty when the food arrives Marbrand.”

Addam pouted as he dropped his arms back to the floor with a thump, “Ah, you all suck. Maybe I’ll just eat all of the food myself.”

“Then I’ll eat you,” Loras groaned against Renly’s skin, “No one gets between me and my hangover breakfast.”

"Lunch," Brienne corrected and then tilted her head, "Dinner?"

Renly chuckled and ran his fingers through Loras’s hair while kissing his aching temple, “He means it. Even I don’t get that luxury.”

“My goodness, I’ll make sure to stay out of the way then,” Sansa said as she rearranged the blankets around their group of three. “This is nice.”

“It is nice,” Brienne sighed as she pulled Sansa closer to her own chest while trying to melt into Jaime's. Jaime rubbed his hands up and down Brienne's sides soothingly.

“Snow is falling outside. Jaime has an endless amount of coffee, tea, and hot chocolate. I’m going to guess that’s Brienne’s influence…” Brienne smiled and kissed Jaime on the jaw. He responded by littering a flurry of kisses all over her face. Sansa’s hand came out of the blankets to palm Jaime’s face and pushed him away from Brienne. Jaime chuckled as he playfully snapped his teeth at her. Renly went on, “It’s going to be a white Christmas. Good company too,” Renly murmured as he hugged Loras closer and massaged the base of his scalp.

Jaime leaned forward and whispered into Brienne’s ear, “My idea of good company wench, is the company of clever, well-informed people who have a great deal of conversation; that is what I call good company.”

Brienne giggled quietly, “Laying it on real thick Jaime.” Jaime chuckled and rubbed his cheek over her straw coloured hair.

Sansa hissed impishly, “Stop flirting!”

Loras grunted, but accepted the affection from Renly, “Don’t forget the painkillers, I think I need another one.”

“Addam! Fetch the bottle!” Jaime crowed while resting his chin on Brienne's shoulder.

Addam glared at him, but got up anyways, “I hope Sansa cockblocks you for the next year.”

“Don’t make me suffer for his transgressions,” Brienne chuckled.

Addam shook his head as he picked himself slowly off the ground and routed around Jaime’s store of supplies, “This is what happens when you associate yourself with Jaime Lannister.” Addam found the painkillers and threw them at Loras who howled when the bottle hit his head. Addam sat back down and wiggled his eyebrows at Sansa, “This is why you associate with an Addam Marbrand; he’ll get things for you.”

“And chuck them at my head?” Sansa teased.

“And chuck them at the heads of anyone you want.”

“Oh you are making a convincing proposal. Can you chuck things at my brother’s head?” Sansa asked.

Jaime and Brienne both burst into fits of laughter as the other three men looked at the group of three warily. “What’s Robb done to earn your ire now Sansa?” Renly asked as he propped himself up with interest.

Sansa’s nose wrinkled as she turned a shade of yellow-green. “Must be bad if you’re turning chartreuse,” Loras muttered as he too sat up and opened the bottle of painkillers, popping two into his hand and then dry swallowing them. From the noises he made right after it seemed he regretted that decision instantly.

Jaime beamed, “I told you wench, I am an—“

Brienne covered his mouth but couldn’t quite hold back her bark of laughter, “Don’t!”

Sansa rubbed her face with both hands, “Robb asked Cersei to come to the Stark Christmas dinner.”

“Ohh,” a chorus of three baritones harmonized.

Loras winced, “Gods the Lannisters are just infiltrating aren’t they?”

Renly grinned and did the shooing motion with one of his hands, “Away from my family with you all.”

“As long as you’re friends with Brienne, I’m never going to be too far away,” Jaime grinned. A silence settled over the room as everyone regarded each other and the weight of Jaime’s casual words sat with them.

“Never?” Renly asked slowly roving his gaze between Jaime's determined look and Brienne's flushing face.

Jaime’s arms tightened fractionally around Brienne, mindful of her ribs, “Never,” he repeated.

Sansa let out a long, high sigh, and turned her head to regard her friend, “I’m so happy for you. You’ve been pining after him for so long.”

Brienne instantly flushed bright red as Jaime grinned and kissed her neck, “Pining wench? Oh, I've been meaning to ask. What has Brienne said about my hair?”

"Oh gods," Loras groaned.

"Don't even get me started," Sansa decried.

"One can't remember an hour long monologue," Renly grinned.

“Shut up Jaime! And I hate you all.”

“For a moment in time you had good taste,” Loras muttered and leaned into Renly. He reached up to run his hands through Renly's dark hair, “But he’s mine.”

Brienne levelled a look at him and then snorted, “I got that. You don't have to start marking your territory.”

“Everyone has their minor faults,” Jaime said as he flicked his fingers, dismissing Brienne's momentary crush on Renly, “Minor transgressions.”

"What did I just say Jaime."

Everyone barked out in laughter except for Addam who hadn’t come out of his contemplative state since the silence. “I feel like… I’m missing something.”

Everyone paused and stared at him. They had forgotten that there was once again someone in their circle who didn’t know. Everyone turned to look at Brienne as she gave Addam a small smile. “You know you don’t have to tell him Brienne,” Jaime murmured gently, “Addam will understand.”

“Yeah uh, sorry. You don’t have to tell me anything,” Addam quickly reiterated as he waved his hands in the air, “I didn’t mean to seem like I was—“

“It’s okay,” Brienne said simply, “It’s not like I’m purposefully keeping it a secret anyways. I’m just not shouting it to the skies.”

Addam nodded and straightened his spine, stealing a look at Jaime in worry, “Um… I’m listening at full attention.”

Brienne took in a deep breath, “I have cancer. Leukemia.”

Addam’s eyes widened as he stared at Brienne and then he looked at Jaime again, who gave him a small, sad smile back. Addam and Jaime had been family friends all their lives. Addam knew about Jaime’s mom. Knew about what her death had done to Tywin. “Oh, I’m… I’m uh…”

“You don’t have to say anything, I know it’s awkward,” Brienne laughed under her breath, “Just please, if you tell anyone else, can you tell Jaime or I who? Just so that I know who knows?”

Addam nodded frantically, unsure of what else to say, “Of course.”

“Thank you Addam.”

A moment of silence passed before Sansa decided to break it, “Jaime has a little brother, maybe he’ll eventually get with Margaery?” Sansa grinned, fluttering her eyelashes innocently.

Loras glared at her, “Dishonour. Dishonour on your whole family. Make a note of this. Dishonour on you—”

“Oh, what a good idea. We _should_ watch Mulan,” Renly muttered.

“I hope Robb does marry Cersei,” Loras continued to hiss at Sansa. Sansa looked downright affronted.

“Brilliant, classic Christmas movie,” Jaime chuckled as he picked up his remote and went to order it.

* * *

That night after everyone had left and Brienne still remained, Jaime put the fireplace channel back on and turned on a slow waltz. “What are you doing?” Brienne asked from the couch.

“I am going to ask you to dance wench, what you do after will determine the next course of action,” Jaime stated as he swept in front of her and held a hand out to her.

Brienne quirked an eyebrow at him, “Is this about Renly?”

“It’s not always about Renly,” Jaime mumbled, “But this time... maybe… but just a little bit. I just want to dance with you too, Brienne.”

Brienne sighed in laughter and shook her head. She stood up and took his hand. “Have you ever danced with anyone taller than you?”

“No,” Jaime replied honestly and caressed her palm, “But I haven’t done very many things with anyone taller than me before you came into my life wench.”

“I came into your life over a decade and a half ago,” Brienne laughed as Jaime took her into the circle of his arms. She nervously looked down at their feet, “I might step on your toes.”

“Then step on them,” Jaime shrugged and kissed her on the cheek, “And don’t remind me about all the time I’ve squandered.”

“We were ten Jaime. It’s not like we could have dated,” Brienne giggled as Jaime began to move them around his living space to the beat of the music. To Jaime’s surprise, Brienne had a dancer’s grace. His toes were perfectly safe from harm.

“Tell that to all of the people who had childhood sweethearts,” Jaime barked with amusement as he slowly spun Brienne around and then dragged her back closer than before, “But that’s not entirely what I meant. I mean it would have been nice, but I will admit highly unrealistic. I would have liked to be friends with you Brienne Tarth. Friends to best friends to lovers. Instead of… well on my part: acquaintances to me being a jackass to lovers.”

“Childhood crush to pain in my backside to lovers.”

“Oh, say enemies. Enemies to friends to lovers,” Jaime grinned wistfully, “Best romances.”

“Chemistry,” Brienne agreed as they swayed.

“Choices,” Jaime murmured and held her tight, nuzzling his nose against hers.

Brienne hummed and rested her chin on Jaime’s shoulder. “This is nice. I’m happy. Very happy.”

“I’m happy too,” Jaime said as he turned his head and kissed her neck as they continued to awkwardly dance around the room, “I must learn to brook being happier than I deserve,” Jaime murmured.

“Really leaning into this Captain Wentworth thing aren’t you?” Brienne giggled, “I hope you know you quoted Anne Elliot earlier.”

“Oh, I know wench,” Jaime said, “But it was a perfect quote. I couldn’t not.”

“Fair enough,” Brienne agreed as she pulled her head away from him, “You do know that happiness isn’t something you deserve right?”

“Thank the Seven for that, or else I should really be getting none.”

Brienne shook her head, “That’s not true Jaime.”

“Wench, you’ve always seen the best in me.”

“I try.”

“It might be your one failing.”

“Or my greatest insight.”

Jaime chuckled, “Maybe.”

He kissed her softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is no missed chapter in case anyone is worried :).
> 
> And yes, I am eluding to non-post S8x02 show canon and book canon. Because honestly these two have such an epic love story and it just... poof. sUbVeRt ExPeCtAtIoNs. But fuck it... S8x04.5-06 never happened, right?
> 
> Btw... does me editing previous chapters send out subscriber notifications? Because if it does... I'm so sorry D: my bad.


	24. Infernal Stickers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which no one told Cersei about the mistletoe.

Jaime lurched as a hand grabbed his shoulder. He turned around from his conversation with Bran and Brienne and came face to face with Cersei who looked more frazzled than he had ever seen her before in his life. Jaime’s eyes ran over her Christmas sweater and he tried not to laugh, tried really hard actually, but his whole entire chest still shook and he was pretty sure he looked like he was having convulsions. “Enjoying the party Cersei?” Jaime asked innocently.

Cersei puffed a couple times and eyed both Brienne and Bran. Bran was hunched over in his wheel chair trying to muffle his laugh against his knees while slamming his fist into the armrest and Brienne had her lips so tightly pressed together that her whole entire face was distorted. “Jaime,” Cersei hissed, “Why does Robb keep putting these infernal stickers on me?”

“Was that just the work of Robb?” Bran asked between laughs. There were tears in his eyes as he leaned back and just out right cackled for everyone to hear.

Cersei’s eyes narrowed at the young boy before her nose wrinkled, “It was just Robb at first and then your stupid sisters and then cousins and then friends started sticking them on me too!”

“Cersei…” Jaime said his eyes lighting up as he reached back and grasped Brienne’s hand so that she could ground him and he wouldn’t collapse in mirth, “Have you been trying to kiss Robb under the mistletoe?”

Once again Cersei’s hair seemed to puff up in all directions as she seethed at him, “I have not!” she near screeched, only toning down her volume because she didn’t want to attract more attention than Bran’s guffaws were already gaining. “Why the hell would I want to kiss Robb Stark?”

“Gods she does protest, doesn’t she?” Sansa grinned as she popped up behind Cersei with the biggest grin on her face. “There’s a reason most of those stickers are still from Robb. Mistletoe everywhere!” Sansa cheered again as she arced both her hands in the sky and wiggled her fingers.

“What are you not telling me?” Cersei snapped.

“Has anyone seen Cersei?” Everyone watched as Cersei’s spine snapped straight and she began to flush ever so slightly. Robb turned the corner with his wolf-dog and looked into the room. The wolf-dog pranced in and immediately started begging for pats, circling Cersei in particular even though she did not look like she was in the state of mind to give the pup attention. Robb gave them all a dashing grin and leaned against the doorframe, “Oh there you are.”

Cersei turned around and practically melted, “I’m here,” she murmured softly.

“Oh Seven save us all,” Jaime muttered his eyes widening as Brienne saddled up beside him looking just as bewildered.

Sansa gestured at the two of them and mouthed “Right?”

Robb swept into the room, “I was looking for you,” he grinned, “Hey Jaime, Brienne, little bro, little sis,” he ruffled Bran’s hair until Bran swatted him away and Sansa leapt across the room to get away from Robb’s gentle tipsy affection.

Cersei practically mooned at Robb’s hand as he failed to ruffle her hair. “Wow,” Brienne whispered into Jaime’s ear, “Wow.”

“And I grew up with her,” Jaime muttered as he reached down and scratched the wolf-dog behind the ears.

“Wow.”

“Do you have a drink?” Robb asked Cersei, his hands going into his pockets as he smiled down at her winningly.

Cersei shook her head, “No.”

“What do you want? I’ll get you something.”

“I’ll go with you… um… I’ll join you, in a moment.”

Robb grinned at her, “Okay Simba.” He swept out of the room with his four legged companion, leaving calamity as he came.

“Gods Robb knows how to play a room as well as he knows how to play the stand,” Bran muttered as he finally caught his breath.

“Simba?” Jaime asked.

Cersei’s whole entire face scrunched as she stared out the door where Robb had gone, “He calls me Simba because he thinks my hair looks like a lion’s mane.”

“Better than wench,” Brienne teased.

“Hey! Wench is a term of affection.”

“It really isn’t,” Brienne said as she kissed Jaime chastely on the lips, “But I tolerate it from you.”

“Tolerate me wench.”

Cersei turned to them with a sneer on her face, “Gross.”

“I know right,” Sansa chirped, “But also very cute. Like _Simba_.” Cersei flushed and looked at Sansa like she was willing the girl to combust.

“So why didn’t you follow him and try to corner him under some more mistletoe?” Jaime asked as he turned back to his twin with a shit-eating grin on his face.

Cersei hissed again as she flushed darker. She looked at her hands and then at her brother, and then at her hands and then at Sansa, and then her hands and then at Bran, and then she looked at Jaime again with softer eyes, “I thought you said he liked me.”

“He might like you,” Jaime tried to amend at the vulnerable look his sister was giving him. It was all very new. “I was trying to say that he probably likes you if he invited you—“

“He definitely likes you,” Sansa said as she rolled her eyes and patted Cersei on the shoulder awkwardly, “Next time try asking one of _his_ siblings instead of yours. Robb likes you _a lot_. You’re the first girl he’s ever invited to the Stark Christmas dinner. Usually he’s too afraid of how we’ll embarrass him.”

Cersei turned to Sansa, “You’re serious.”

“She’s very serious,” Bran added, “He doesn’t do pet names.”

“We’re just Sansa, and Arya, and Bran, and Rickon to him. Little sis and little bro. He’s best friends with Jon and Theon and he only ever calls Jon, Jon and Theon, Theon even though it’s hilarious when you call Theon, Theo.”

“You’re sure?” Cersei asked as she wrung her hands and looked out the door again.

“Sure as we’ll ever be,” Bran encouraged.

Cersei nodded her thanks and ran out of the room to go find Robb. “No one told her about the mistletoe,” Brienne pointed out.

“Because wench, that would ruin the fun,” Jaime said as he wrapped his arm around her waist. Everyone in the room laughed.

* * *

At the end of the night, surprisingly, Cersei didn’t lose the mistletoe competition by a landside. She had actually ended up neck in neck with the boy that Arya had brought along with her to the party and insisted was just a friend who was part of her band. “Stupid” seemed to be the key word of secret adoration that night.

Jaime squinted at the guy for a long while before he realized where he had seen the kid before, “Baratheon!”

“What?” Gendry asked as he looked up from his place on the armrest of the chair Arya was seated in. Arya looked up from her Switch as well and frowned at Jaime, her eyes sparking with vicious intent.

Sansa’s mouth popped open, “You’re a Baratheon?”

“Yeah,” he muttered, “Didn’t Arya tell you guys anything? Didn’t you tell them anything?” Gendry looked down and asked the murderous sprite.

Arya just fidgeted in her seat as she turned off her Switch and buried it under her thigh, “At least I didn’t bring a Lannister!”

“Hey!” Jaime and Cersei protested in tandem. They looked at each other and snorted.

“My home has been invaded by all sorts this year,” Catelyn said with a smile as she circled around Cersei. “My children didn’t tell you two what was happening did they?”

“No,” Gendry muttered, “Because apparently Arya just doesn’t tell anyone anything.”

“Shut up stupid,” Arya grumbled and shoved him off the armrest. He retook his position like this was an hourly occurrence.

Robb waved his hand, “All part of the plan.”

Cersei eyed him warily, “The plan?”

Robb gave her a winning smile as Cersei fidgeted, “Keep calm Simba, no need to roar.”

“I hate you,” Cersei growled even as her cheeks turned pink and she couldn’t meet his eye.

Catelyn chuckled, “Play nice Robb,” she scolded lightly. She made a couple more tally marks in her notebook and nodded her head. “Cersei has nine more stickers than Gendry.”

“What does that even mean?” Gendry whined.

“It means I know something!” Jon shouted as his fists pumped into the air, “The streak is broken!” he continued to cheer as he picked Theon up and shook him haphazardly in his excitement. Theon was less than amused as this treatment.

Jaime snorted in laughter as Brienne tugged on his sweater. He turned to her and she smiled, “I won our bet,” she said as she fingered one of the stickers on his sweater.

Jaime grinned at her, “No fair wench. You know I get lost in your eyes.”

“No sweet talking Jaime,” Brienne giggled and bumped her forehead against his.

“Well then wench, what would you like me to do as your winnings,” Jaime murmured softly into Brienne’s ear.

He watched her flush crawl swiftly out from under the collar of her sweater and over her neck and face. He pulled back and raised an eyebrow at her as she looked at him shyly, “I was hoping that I could stay over at your place until Christmas Day.”

“Done!” Jaime declared, “At great sacrifice to myself I’ll have you know. Ruins all of my plans to spend more time with you this Christmas season…oh wait!” He teased with a wink. Brienne shook her head at him and he drew her back into his side.

“Well,” Catelyn murmured, “Since Cersei has more stickers on her…”

“It means we get to choose who Cersei has to kiss!” Sansa cheered as she clapped her hands.

Cersei turned to her with an open mouth and wide eyes, “Excuse me?”

“It’s Christmas tradition Simba.”

Cersei’s mouth open and closed before her jaw locked. “We’re usually very nice,” Sansa said helpfully.

Cersei’s nose wrinkled, “Fine. Whatever. It’s just a kiss.”

“Maybe we should get her to kiss Jaime,” Theon joked. Everyone laughed except for the Lannister twins and Brienne who all winced just a touch.

“Please not my stupid brother,” Cersei said finally, “Anyone but my dumb brother.”

“Anyone?” Jon asked, “Even little Rickon? He a bit slobbery still.”

Cersei smiled, “Little kids are cute, I wouldn’t mind.” Jaime’s eye twitched. That was definitely not what Cersei had thought of very young children mere weeks ago. Or had she? He had never known, he realized.

“But don’t you have a preference?” Catelyn asked kindly.

Cersei bit her lower lip. Her eyes immediately went to Robb but then they went back to Catelyn. “No, absolutely not,” she said resolutely.

“Oh Gods, just end her misery. There’s a reason she’s peppered with stickers and everyone who put one on her knows,” Jaime said with a roll of his eyes, having recovered, and Cersei looked at him both angrily and gratefully.

“Everyone who votes Robb?” Catelyn said, revealing that even she knew and was probably part of Cersei’s demise. But of course she knew.

Everyone put their hands up. Even Robb.

He stepped forward and finally took Cersei’s hands in his. “You don’t have to kiss me if you don’t want to,” he said kindly, “None of us are going to force you. It’s why we’ve done this with the mistletoe game to start.” Cersei looked up into his eyes, the ones that matched her sticker covered sweater and nodded. “You can also just kiss me on the ch—“ Cersei pushed herself to her tippy toes and kissed Robb straight on the lips quickly before she balanced back to the flats of her feet. She was bright red. Robb let go of one of her hands and ran his hand through her long golden locks with a big smile on his face, “Oh Simba.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad that so many people expressed their like of redemption arc Cersei because... she has basically become the biggest joke in this fic and I kind of adore writing her.


	25. Everything Me is You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jaime and Brienne exchange presents.

Lying in bed naked the morning after the Stark Christmas party, Brienne traced patterns of lion manes on Jaime’s chest. “How did it feel?” Brienne asked quietly as she danced her finger over his skin.

“How did what feel?” Jaime questioned as he turned to her and ran his hands over her hips and his lips over her temple.

“To see your sister be genuinely happy… with someone else?”

Because for all of the mess that the mistletoe game had caused and for how much Cersei had continued to deny that all of her stickers had anything to do with wanting to kiss Robb, she had still kissed Robb, had held his hand for the rest of the night, and had vehemently denied liking him, while waving around her hand still holding his. Cersei had eventually given ground when Robb had loudly declared that he wanted to spend Christmas Eve with her, but _only_ if she wanted to spend it with him too. It had been do or die for Cersei and to everyone's shock, she had grown up just enough to say she wanted to spend the day with him too. But only because she felt bad for him. Robb seemed happy enough with that answer. Indeed, it was more than what anyone had expected from her. The two of them were absolute nonsense, but the pair seemed contented enough with their unusual courtship.

Jaime regarded Brienne for a long moment, seriously contemplating her question, before he let out a low sigh, “When I ended it with her, I thought I had cut the only cord holding us together. That cord, the love, we thought we had for each other had been fraying at the edges since we started. I thought our ties had completely broken when I caught her cheating on me and at the time it had felt weird that it was so easy just to end it. But it wasn’t quite over. It could never be over because she’s still my sister, my twin. It's undeniable that we came into this world together. Although I had seen hints of the other strings before, yesterday it was revealed fully to me that there were other threads holding us together all along. We hadn’t really resolved ourselves properly. Last night though, last night was good. For the both of us.”

Brienne let out a long breath and nuzzled Jaime's nose gently with hers, “That’s good.”

“I love you Brienne,” Jaime murmured as he kissed her upper lip and brushed his fingers through her hair, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too Jaime,” Brienne whispered back as she tangled her legs into his, “More than most things.”

“More than Renly and Captain Wentworth I hope,” Jaime teased as he wrapped his arms around her waist and dragged her closer.

Brienne hummed as their bodies pressed into one, “Oh much more. Maybe I love you more than anything.”

* * *

Jaime convertible raced down the highway with starlight streaking in the dust they left behind. “Another meteor shower?” Brienne gasped, staring out the window as Jaime drove them out of the lights of the city on the night of Christmas Eve. They had spent the majority of the morning and afternoon at Jaime's apartment enjoying the presence of one another and then had gotten dinner at one of Brienne’s favourite places. For once she had been able to finish her entire plate and had even ordered dessert.

Jaime grinned at her with twinkling emerald eyes, “Indeed wench. The Ursids!”

Brienne turned to him and looked at him flatly, “The Bear? Really Jaime?”

Jaime chuckled as he checked the rearview mirror, “Little bear.”

“Still a bear.”

“You really do seem to think I created the universe just for your eyes Brienne.”

Brienne laughed and buried her face into her scarf, “I wouldn’t put it past you Jaime Lannister!” Brienne grinned. “Isn’t it too cold for stargazing though?”

“I rented a small cabin with a skylight. It’s not perfect, but it will do,” Jaime replied as he flicked on his turn signal and eased down on the break for the upcoming turn, “The website said that people stay there to stargaze so one would hope they don’t have flood lights on the grounds.” The horizon was dark before them, so it looked fairly promising.

“And we’ll be back in time to spend Christmas day with my dad?” Brienne questioned as Jaime made the turn onto the single lane country road.

“I would never slight Selwyn Tarth like that,” Jaime said earnestly.

Brienne nodded, “Good, he’s excited to have you over Jaime.”

“I’m excited to be over! Christmas with the Tarth's.”

“And you’re spending Boxing day with your brother?”

“Tyrion is the master of sales. If you think I’m charming wench, you should see my brother. There’s a reason he has dwarfism, or else he would be a god!”

Brienne laughed, “Are you trying to say that you’re half a god then?”

Jaime grinned at her and winked, “You’re the one who thinks I made the universe for you wench.”

“Gods Jaime,” Brienne giggled as she reached out a hand and placed it on Jaime's thigh.

* * *

“Open your present,” Jaime said as he pushed the small wrapped package towards her like an excited little boy as they sat on the bed in the loft of their wooden cabin with the universe falling above them.

Brienne shook her head and slowly pulled at the sloppily tied ribbon and carefully picked at the tape. Jaime frowned impatiently as he wiggled in place and started idly playing with her knees which were resting on either side of his hips. Brienne gave him an exasperated look from the corner of her eye before she ripped all of the wrapping off lightning fast to reveal a blue, sturdy box. Jaime grinned at her excitedly and leaned forward to smack a kiss onto her forehead and Brienne giggled as she returned a kiss to the corner of his mouth. Placing the box on her lap, she gingerly pried open the lid and blinked quickly at the contents inside. The lid dropped from her hands as she reached into the box and pulled out the small stack of tickets. “These are games for all of my favourite teams,” Brienne murmured as she riffled through the tickets finding some for basketball games, rugby games, volleyball games, hockey games, and so, _so_ much more.

“They are also court, field, or rink side,” Jaime grinned, pulling her forward by the calves so that she was almost straddling him. He nudged the crown of his head under her chin and nuzzled her collarbone while she continued to rifle through the tickets above his shoulders, “And there’s two of each. And although I’m not saying you have to take me... you should take me.”

“Jaime, this must have cost a fortune!”

Jaime pulled back and shook his head, “I knew some people and since I was getting so many they discounted the tickets further.”

“This still couldn’t have been cheap.”

“I work at my dad’s place during the summers, have been since I was sixteen. Tyrion made me invest a chunk of it before I could squander it all at university and my mom… well she left me, Cersei, and Tyrion trust funds and she had a really good life insurance policy.”

“Jaime, that doesn’t mean…”

“Yes, it does mean Brienne,” Jaime said as he cupped her cheeks and rested his forehead against hers, “I know you can’t really play anymore and that makes you sad, but you still like watching the games. I remember you watching the athletes at the sports hall and so I thought why not? If it would make you happy.”

Brienne’s eyes filled with tears, “Of course this makes me happy Jaime.”

Jaime nodded his head and kissed her softly. She kissed him back just so and he pulled away with their mingled breaths between them, “Then that’s all I want.”

Brienne leaned forward and hugged him tightly, “Thank you.”

He hugged her back, “Of course.”

“My present is going to seem so dumb now compared to yours,” Brienne muttered as she carefully placed all of the tickets back into the box and set the box to her side, on the bed.

“Never wench.”

Brienne huffed and sighed as she reached behind her and then pushed a gift at Jaime. Jaime slowly took the present in his hands, the box was much larger and heavier than his had been, and undid the neatly done wrapping paper before he opened the lid. He stared at its contents a little bit bewildered. “Books wench? Physical books?”

Brienne blushed as she traced patterns on the back of Jaime's hands, “Diaries,” she murmured hesitantly looking like she was close to snatching them all back. Jaime stared at the contents of the box. Three spines of three brand new... diaries. His head jerked up to look at her as he slowly realized what she had given him. “Not all of the pages, I um… I photocopied and pasted the relevant passages into those books so it looks a bit like a scrapbooked mess, and I know that it’ll take you a while to go through them, if you want to go through them, but it was too embarrassing to make a recording instead and…”

“How far do they go?” Jaime asked, choked. He could feel tears gathering in the corner of his eyes.

“From the day you cursed out those kids to the day you were told you were the narrator for the showcase,” Brienne murmured quietly, not looking at him and flushing darker. The stars that were her freckles stood starkly on her skin. “There was too much to say after that. So I stopped. It felt stupid anyways at that point. Um… it’s not a complete rendition of my thoughts or anything. There are several month long breaks when we weren’t in the same class and I only saw you in the hall sporadically but…” she rambled, as though something so wonderful needed to be explained away.

“Gods Brienne,” Jaime murmured as he ran his fingers over the three spines. Three books that detailed when, how, and how long ago she had been in love with him. Those three books were priceless. “How could you ever say that my present is better than yours?”

Brienne shuffled in her spot as she continued to flame red, “It’s just a child’s thoughts. And then a girl who went through puberty, and then just… a girl’s.”

“A woman’s,” Jaime corrected as his eyes slid across the covers. One was blue like the colour of her eyes, the other was green like his, and the last was Lannister red. Brienne bit her bottom lip and nodded. Jaime carefully closed the lid of the book box and then closed the lid of the ticket box as well. He gently placed both presents on the nightstand and then shoved all of the wrapping paper and ribbons onto the floor. “Come here Brienne.”

She fell into his arms.

* * *

“Da-ad! I’m home!” Brienne called as she swung the front door open and tapped her boots on the mat outside on the porch, “I have the things you asked me to pick up and Jaime’s with me!”

“Wouldn’t have expected it any other way,” Selwyn grinned as he came down the stairs, “Welcome to Christmas with the Tarth’s little Jaime Lannister.”

“Thank you for having me sir,” Jaime greeted as he brushed the fresh snow from his hair and shoulders before entering the house, “I brought mulled wine and some Christmas cake.”

“I hope you also have brandy sauce to go with that,” Selwyn chuckled as he took the things that Brienne was holding out to him. Brienne divested herself of her boots and her socks, chucking them onto the stairs. Selwyn shook his head fondly.

“I do!” Jaime grinned as he slipped off his own boots.

“Excellent my son,” Selwyn boomed. Jaime jerked. Selwyn grinned. Brienne rolled her eyes. Selwyn shrugged, “Would you like something to drink?”

“I drove so something non-alcoholic please.”

“You won’t be leaving until late in the night.”

“Even so,” Jaime said, “I don’t drink at all when I know I’m going to be driving.”

Selwyn raised both eyebrows but smiled proudly, “Overly safe, but sensible.”

Jaime remembered the night of initiations and how they had found his blood bone dry, “I’d say so.” Jaime turned to Brienne, “Do you want something to drink?” he asked.

“Italian soda,” she said with a smile.

Selwyn chuckled, “I have all of the fixings. You really don’t even have to ask her son.”

“They’re good!” Brienne protested as she touched Jaime’s bicep in understanding, “Guilty pleasure.”

Selwyn led Jaime to the kitchen where Jaime dropped off his treats. While storing the brandy sauce in the fridge Jaime turned to Selwyn and gave him a smile, “Thank you for inviting me over for Christmas sir.”

“You’re welcome here anytime little Jaime Lannister. For now, for always,” Selwyn said warmly and patted Jaime on the hand. Jaime understood what he meant. "It's nice to have more than just Brienne and I in the house again." At those words, Jaime thought of all of the pictures on the walls. Selwyn had lost his wife before Jaime had known Brienne. Selwyn had been given less time with Brienne's mother than Tywin had been given with Jaime's mother and yet here the man was, a kind and gentle giant. Never cold, always caring, only one child, but she loved him dearly. Jaime remembered another child had been in some of those family photos and his eyebrows pulled together. Had Brienne always been an only child? Had she once had a younger or older sibling? "If you make Brienne her soda, I'll make you some tea?"

"That would be great, thank you," Jaime replied. Jaime mixed Brienne her blueberry Italian soda as Selwyn rambled through the, quite frankly, ridiculous amounts of food he had prepared for the day and then brought them back into the living room where a real fire was burning in the fireplace.

“Brienne and I only light it up on Christmas day,” Selwyn explained as he set down two tea cups and checked the fire. Brienne pouted at her father for questioning her work. “Otherwise its just such a mess to clean up. The rest of the year it’s filled with those fake logs and a gas burner.”

“The real thing on Christmas is a fantastic touch,” Jaime said, passing Brienne her soda and then holding his hands out to the flames so that his fingers could warm.

“So what did you two get up to yesterday?” Selwyn asked as he sat down in his armchair. Jaime sat down on the couch with Brienne at his side, picked up his cup of tea, and instinctively put his arm around her as she began to tell her father about their Christmas Eve date and the cabin that Jaime had taken them out to. Jaime didn't know when she had found the time to remember them all, but she was rattling off to her father all the games Jaime had bought her tickets for and Selwyn looked both incredulous and delighted that his daughter had the chance to enjoy the sports she had once loved to play.

While Brienne babbled excitedly, Jaime looked around the living room to see that there was a large fir tree at one end, taller than Selwyn himself, and underneath was piled a whole hoard of presents. Even from this distance, Jaime could identify the Stark packages from the wrapping paper decorated with wolves in Santa hats, and the Baratheon and Tyrell packages by the garish rainbow paper. The tree was decorated messily and he imagined that Brienne and Selwyn had decorated the tree together before Brienne had decided to stay over at his place. He didn’t remember the last time he had decorated a Christmas tree with his family, it was probably when his mom had still been alive and Tyrion had been a toddler covered in tinsel. The whole atmosphere of the Tarth house was cozy. Jaime could see himself spending every Christmas Day for the rest of his life like this.

Jaime swallowed.

Even if one day it was just him and Selwyn.

His arm tightened around Brienne's shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've reached an interesting mile stone with this chapter. The original first/second draft of this fic was only up to where this chapter is now at in word count. So this fic has grown quite a lot in the last draft of editing! Just means there has been a lot more content for you guys and more to come!
> 
> Sometimes Brienne out romances Jaime and Kill Bill sirens go off in his head. Those diaries are totally going to come back for some fluff fodder.


	26. You Are Not Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Brienne gets a fever and Jaime and Selwyn talk.

Brienne got a fever over New Year’s and Jaime refused to leave her side. The cold had passed through the majority of the Stark clan before it had gotten to her and although it had only given most of the adults and children a mild case of the sniffles, with Brienne’s compromised immune system, it had practically knocked her out.

Her condition reminded Jaime of the time that Renly had picked Brienne up from the showcase meeting and Jaime idly realized, while wiping sweat from her brow, how much duress Brienne must have been in that day. He wished he could go back in time and kick himself in the ass for not loving her sooner, for not being there to take care of her sooner.

Brienne spent the vast majority of the end and beginning of the year asleep with Jaime cuddled next to her to keep her warm and to get her anything she needed. Her bed was smaller than his was, but with how close they now were, neither minded that they were pressed together at all times. If anything Brienne appreciated Jaime’s constant presence when she was lucid and he enjoyed spending time in her childhood room finding things he recognized from the years they had grown up together, but also apart.

Selwyn checked in on them constantly through out the couple of days, not at all bothered by the fact that there was suddenly a camper in his home.

During the times that Jaime left Brienne’s room to eat with Selwyn, Selwyn naturally engaged Jaime in comfortable conversations. It was both strange, but wonderful to sit down with a father figure at a dinner table and not feel a stilted silence permeate the room. The first topic that came up was Brienne’s diagnosis. It seemed that Selwyn had been waiting a long time for someone to talk to about his experiences. Jaime eased himself into his chair and listened.

Selwyn fiddled idly with the mug of tea in his hands as his gaze drifted off, back in time. “When she was first diagnosed, it didn’t really register for the longest time. How could my darling daughter have cancer? She was so healthy. She was so young. She could take down anyone in her way with just the tilt of her shoulder and a hard shove,” Selwyn looked at Jaime with a smile and Jaime chuckled and nodded, “She had so much life left to live and high school had just ended. It was her time to start living it. But suddenly…” Selwyn’s eyes teared up and his nails tapped on the ceramic mug, “Suddenly she was advised to stop doing the things she loved, to change who she was. It became so hard for her to look at her clothes Jaime. All those team shirts, you know?” Jaime could imagine it. Her closet upstairs filled with all of Riverland High’s sports uniforms. Uniforms she wouldn’t ever be able to replace with KLU ones. “I couldn’t do anything to fight the cancer, but at the very least I could help fight the sorrow. We went on a shopping spree. It was the first time we had ever gone on one. I’m sure you can understand that Brienne isn’t the spree type. Sansa and Renly both came along, even though at that time they didn’t know why yet. It was a lot of fun. That day was the first time she had smiled since the doctor’s office.” The summer between high school and university had only been two months. Jaime couldn’t imagine having your entire world flipped upside down in only two months.

The next morning Jaime asked about Brienne’s mother and the other child in the photos around the house. At the look on Selwyn’s face, Jaime tried to retract his question, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—“

“No, no son. You can ask me anything,” Selwyn replied as he set Jaime’s plate of scrambled eggs and bacon in front of him. That day Selwyn spoke of loss and fear. “They both passed when Brienne was two. We were vacationing on Tarth… it’s why I can’t go back, even though Brienne wants to so badly. I can’t really stand the ocean anymore in fact. I stayed behind to take care of Brienne while my wife and Galladon went swimming again for the fourth time that day. I was tired, didn’t want to go. Just wanted to laze with my infant daughter in the sun. Galladon loved the water you see. Was essentially a fish. Swimming pools, rain, puddles, he loved it all. He had barely been out of the sea that whole vacation there. We had gone to Tarth so many times before, swam that beach so many times before. It was our place, you know? But that time..." Selwyn's voice broke as a tear ran down his cheek, "That time they got caught in a rip current. My wife wasn’t from the island, she didn’t know what was happening and Galladon didn’t understand either. They were swept far from shore and drowned before rescue could get to them. If I had gone out with Galladon instead, if I hadn't been too tired to go swimming with my precious wife and son, maybe they would both still be alive. There are a lot of warning signs for tourists in the area now, but that was before.”

Jaime stared at Selwyn, who suddenly looked so much older, and for the first time it struck home that he wasn’t going to be the one most hurt by Brienne’s passing. If imagining a reality that no longer held Brienne was hard, a reality where Tyrion and Cersei, the two people most analogous to Selwyn’s wife and son, were gone too was unfathomable. Jaime wondered if it was cruel or kind to hope that Selwyn would pass before Brienne.

“Coming home from that trip, I couldn’t take care of her properly for months. That was when Catelyn came in. Robb and Galladon had been in the same class the previous year and she had heard what happened. It’s why Brienne is still so close with the Stark’s, even now. I owe them a lot… even though sometimes seeing Catelyn and Ned still brings me some shame.”

“You made sure that Brienne was well taken care of. There isn’t shame in mourning,” Jaime said quietly, “The shame comes from disquiet and coldness. One only has to mention you around Brienne to know you were anything but. I remember you were anything but. You were always the Gentle Giant.” Selwyn met Jaime’s eye and they looked at each other for a long moment before Selwyn gave him a small, but soft smile.

“Gentle Giant hm? Please tell me I still scared you all,” Selwyn jested.

Jaime chuckled, “I’ll be honest, you still scare me.”

“Oh good. I haven’t lost my touch.”

During another meal Selwyn recounted stories of when fever, such as this one, had driven him into a panic and ambulances were called nearly monthly, before he had finally listened to what Brienne was trying to say to him about her own health and had slowed down. “It was a struggle,” Selwyn murmured over his cup of coffee, “The fear never really goes away. But at some point you just have to come to terms with the fact that you have to make a call and that choice can be right or wrong. That the call could cost you nothing… or everything,” Selwyn sighed as he rubbed his face. Jaime nodded silently over his dinner. Knowing what he knew now about Brienne’s mother and brother, he could understand the gravity of that choice.

On the worst day of Brienne’s fever, after she had finally fallen back into a peaceful sleep, Selwyn quietly professed from the foot of her bed, “I think… the hardest part of this for Brienne is her complete loss of independence. She needs to rely on her medication to survive now. She needs to be monitored constantly. She can’t really do things alone anymore without someone checking up on her every hour. She can’t do everything she wants to do. Every opportunity in the world isn’t open to my baby girl anymore,” Selwyn rued with a sheen of tears in his eyes. He leaned back in his chair and stared out the window.

Brienne shivered and Jaime tucked her covers more securely around her shoulders. If Selwyn found it awkward that Brienne had her head nestled on Jaime’s lap while he spoke, he didn’t show it. It had been the only way to get her fever dreams under control.

“Maybe you’ve noticed the change… since you’ve known her for so long,” Selwyn said with a small smile, “But she’s gained a great deal of confidence since high school.” Jaime remembered. He especially remembered being shocked that day in the sports hall when she had stood up for herself and thrown back the insults hurtled her way, “She used to be so sensitive about her appearance, how people thought of her. There were moments in time where her confidence would surge... like after a particular event in grade four," Selwyn gave Jaime a pointed look with a mirthful smile and Jaime flushed, "But otherwise she always made herself a wallflower when she wasn’t on the field. Having Renly and Sansa helped… but it’s sadder to say that the cancer helped more. Now she’s not too shy to say how she feels anymore and she’s not as afraid of what others think of her. She still has her insecurities, of course…” Jaime swallowed as he ran his hands through Brienne’s hair, oh how he knew, “But she doesn’t create her own hurt anymore. Sometimes though…” Selwyn struggled with his next words, “I feel that her sudden confidence is a symptom of being resigned. Resigned to a fate that the leukemia has given her,” Selwyn couldn’t say death, “Maybe she feels that she’s not going to be around for much longer, so why even bother caring? And that… that isn’t _why_ anyone should suddenly love themselves more.” Tears gathered in the corner of Jaime’s eyes as he lightly traced the freckles on Brienne’s cheeks. Selwyn was right, there were so many more reasons to love her.

Even after Brienne’s fever finally broke, Jaime clung onto every single one of Selwyn’s words and experiences.

“I must have talked your ear off little Jaime Lannister,” Selwyn stated as they sat drinking tea by the fake fire place.

“Not at all. If anything, I would be glad to hear more.”

Selwyn chuckled and placed a comforting hand on Jaime’s. “It’s a sad thing, but in the moment she’s happy, son. That’s all that matters. She has good friends. Sansa has been around for a long time. Renly has been around for a good while too now,” Selwyn looked at Jaime earnestly, “And now there’s you.”

And Jaime took the worth of those words to heart.

He was a part of Brienne’s happiness now.

Just as she was a part of his.

* * *

“Jaime…” Brienne whispered as she shifted in her bed.

Jaime pulled out his headphones and looked down at her from where he was leaning against her headboard, “Do you need something? Water?”

She gave him a smile and shook her head slowly, “No. I just wanted to say your name, get your attention.”

Jaime ran his hand through her hair, plucking apart the small knots that he found. On his second pass, he paused at her forehead and felt that her temperature was still normal. “You have my attention wench.”

She smiled sleepily at him. “Distract me.”

Jaime quirked an eyebrow in confusion. Brienne shifted again and lifted her head to place it on Jaime’s lap, she looked up at him meaningfully and he laughed as he recalled an autumn’s day in a courtyard months ago. “Alright… what could I do to distract you?” Jaime murmured from memory as he leaned forward and rested his forehead on hers.

“Oh, what a good soul,” Brienne murmured as she tipped her head to kiss him, “Read to me.”

“You know that’s going to be a trying experience wench,” Jaime grinned. He waved his phone, “We can listen to an audiobook together though.”

Brienne frowned, “No. I want to hear your voice.”

“Ah yes, my voice is dulcet.”

“Unequivocally,” Brienne giggled, “Quote Persuasion. Tell me a story. Anything.”

“I thought you would be tired of me yabbering on by now,” Jaime grinned as he kissed her again.

Brienne kissed him back, “Never.”

“Alright. I’ll tell you a story,” Jaime said as he tapped his chin thoughtfully, “And like all great stories, it shall be a love story.”

“Hurrah.”

“Enemies to friends to lovers,” Jaime declared.

“The best ones.”

“Except for childhood crushes to pain in the asses to lovers.”

“Or acquaintances to being a donkey to lovers.”

“Did you just call me a donkey?” Jaime teased.

“You called yourself that if I recall.”

“Not what I meant wench!”

Brienne giggled and nuzzled his stomach, “Okay. Enemies to friends to lovers.”

“Between a knight and his lady.”

“Boo, unoriginal.”

“Fine. How about a knight who is not a true knight and a lady that thinks she's a terrible lady.”

“Hmm… could be better.”

“Goodness wench. You _are_ hard to please. Let’s see then. A knight that is not a true knight, but wishes to be a true knight and a lady that is a terrible lady, but wants to be a lady. Oh! A grand twist! The lady becomes a knight before she becomes a lady!”

“Better, though it gives away the game when you tell me the twist Jaime,” Brienne playfully admonished, “I can already see the brewing conflict and chemistry though. How is this story going to end?”

“I thought you said no spoilers.”

“Jaime!”

“You know I’m going to give it a happy ending wench.”

Brienne giggled, “Yeah?”

“They’re going to have a hoard of kids and live in a meadow.”

“People can’t live in meadows Jaime.”

“Ah! This knight and lady can.”

Brienne laughed, “Alright. Tell me their story.”

“Well, it all begins when…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all know how it started and Jaime just told us how it actually ended. So... *shrugs*
> 
> Even while writing this I felt like I was hitting myself in the solar plexus. I love Selwyn, but damn if his story isn't by far the most tragic story in this alternate universe.


	27. Uncertain into the Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which it is finally time for the Winter Semester Showcase.

The day of the showcase rolled around quickly after the start of the Winter Semester. Jaime shook with anticipation as he peaked out from back stage to see all of the people he knew that were gathered out in the audience awaiting the start of the production. He could see Tyrion was out in front with some of his high school friends. Tyrion waved at him with an amused smile and Jaime grinned sheepishly as he realized that probably everyone could see his blonde head just sticking out of the curtains, but he didn't care. In the middle of the crowd stood Selwyn, Catelyn, Renly, Loras, and Sansa. They all shot him the same exasperated smile and he winked cheerily at them. Sansa gestured emphatically to her left while making a gagging face. Off just to the side of the large group stood Robb and Cersei. Cersei looked offended, as she often did around her probably now boyfriend though she would never admit it, and Robb looked unrepentant as he gave her his one dimpled smile. Jaime blinked and suddenly Cersei was on Robb and they were gratuitously making out. Robb's hands were definitely on Cersei's ass. Sansa looked sicker than before. Jaime was relieved he wasn't within ten meters of whatever that was. Jaime continued to scan the audience and found Addam and Bronn hidden in the back. They both waved at him, their phones ready to record what they were convinced was going to be a spectacle, but Jaime knew they were genuinely there in support. He wasn't expecting to know anyone else in the audience, but as he was about to return backstage, he saw someone wave and a smile came to his face when he saw Pod in the audience with his friends. 

It was crazy to think that when this had all started, he had been convinced that this was going to be the worst thing that had ever happened to him. It wasn't. It didn't even come close. It was probably somewhere in his top ten best things actually. And that was due to one particular person.

Jaime retracted his head and winked at Brienne, who was standing beside the heat vent, giving her two thumbs up. Brienne shook her head and gave him an amused smile. "Be happy that Dr. Mormont didn't catch you," Brienne teased. 

He strode over to her with a smirk on his face and gathered her up into his arms, “Ah, he loves me wench."

"He tolerates you."

"Adores me," Jaime refuted, "Warming up?”

“Somewhat,” she murmured as she immediately fell into him, “Gods winters are the worst,” she muttered darkly as she made the effort to steal all of his body heat, “Thankfully my headband is soaking up all this cold sweat.”

Jaime rubbed her back to try and give her additional warmth with friction, “Maybe if you contact your dad he can hand you your jacket and maybe mine too?” Jaime suggested.

Brienne shook her head, “I’ll be fine for a bit. I’m only in the first half anyways and then I’ll be in the audience booing at you with the rest of them.”

“Wench!” Jaime crowed, “You’ll be admiring me and hypnotized by my alluring voice.”

Brienne laughed as a loud call told them that the show would be starting in five minutes. “Good luck Jaime,” Brienne said as she leaned forward and kissed him chastely on the lips, “Don’t mess up.”

Jaime ran a hand through his hair and puffed out his chest, “I won’t.” Brienne rolled her eyes affectionately and then trudged off to where she needed to be.

Jaime positioned himself at his mark and when the curtain rose he waved at the audience. There was a loud cheer, but he could also hear his friends and family being obnoxious and booing him too. He grinned at them all. The stage lights shifted and he started to narrate the history and myths of the Classical era with dramatic flourishes of his arms. He could hear the eyes rolling.

He had never expected to enjoy his time being forced to volunteer with his department’s Winter Semester Fair, but that was what he was doing. He was enjoying it spectacularly.

When it came to the story of Atalanta, Jaime couldn’t help but turn his body to watch Brienne along with the audience, although he had been told to stop doing that multiple times during dress rehearsal. Maybe Dr. Mormont really did just tolerate him, but really, who was he to stop true love? Jaime watched happily as Brienne, in her 80’s athletics gear, performed the actions that his voice dictated and resisted the urge to ad lib in order to make her do something ridiculous.

As Jaime watched Brienne move on stage, he was once again hit by a sort of melancholy. She had such grace, such definition to her movement even though she was tall and her shoulders were large. She was in full control of her body at all times, efficient in every way, things that had made her excel at the sports that she could no longer play. Her muscles flexed and relaxed under the spandex of her costume. Every part of her was a piece of art and though it was true she wasn't conventionally beautiful, she had her own kind of beauty, which was only accentuated by the brilliance which were her eyes. 

Jaime’s eyebrows scrunched together as he thought he saw Brienne stumble as she walked off stage. However, after she had gotten changed out of her ridiculous costume, she was with her friends and father in the audience waving at him happily, so he allowed himself to relax and continued narrating on through the first half of the showcase. He knew it wasn't what he was supposed to do, but he kept his eyes on her as he finished up the first half. She looked puffy and adorable wearing two coats. 

At intermission, Jaime loosened his itchy cravat and made his way down to the audience to make sure that Brienne had managed to get warm.

Instead, when he got there, Brienne had fainted and wasn't coming to.

Catelyn had called an ambulance.

And Selwyn was catatonic with fear.

* * *

“I can’t stay,” Jaime choked, “I’m sorry, but someone will just need to read from the script. Even if I stay I won’t be able to…” Tears rushed down his face and he hurriedly wiped them away with the palms of his hands as Jorah Mormont stood there unsure of how to handle the situation. Cersei and Tyrion were with him, still not fully understanding the situation, but were worried nonetheless as they tried to prevent Jaime from falling apart.

 _Accelerated phase_ kept flashing through his mind. A fight to survive. The likelihood that she would be gone in five years higher than not.

Jaime almost couldn’t breathe.

“In. Out,” Cersei whimpered as she rubbed Jaime’s back and gave Tyrion a desperate look as Tyrion slowly began to piece the puzzle together while staring at his brother slack jawed with sympathy. Jaime tried to take deep breaths at his sister's insistence, but he felt like his lungs just couldn't quite fill.

Jorah, the organizer of the showcase, nodded, looking wretched, as he attempted to think of anyone who had a paper copy of the script on hand, "I understand Jaime," he said as his mind desperately raced to save his show. The curtain was supposed to rise again in five minutes.

A hand came down on Jaime’s shoulder as Renly huffed and puffed, “The ambulance has arrived. The paramedics say that she’s stable.”

Jaime nodded and then he it dawned on him, “Shit! You!”

“Me?” Renly asked, “I’m going too,” he said as he gestured vaguely to where Jaime assumed the ambulance had parked.

“Of course you are,” Jaime nodded and turned back to the organizer, “I have a recording of the narration, as long as you know where to start and stop it you won’t need to have the script.”

“Oh thank the Seven,” Jorah said as he collapsed into the nearest chair, “I’m sorry, this is probably not where your priorities are right now…”

“No. This is bloody fucking important to you and to all of those who put in the work last semester. I’m so sorry I can’t…” Jaime winced as he flicked through his phone and found the original email Brienne had sent him with the file. He passed the phone to Jorah, “Send this to yourself and you’ll have it.”

Jorah quickly keyed in his email and hit send. Jaime, Cersei, Tyrion, and Renly stood there as Jorah took out his own phone, opened his email, then the audio file, and then hit play. Loras’s voice immediately began to narrate from the beginning of the script. “I’ll connect this to the sound system,” Jorah said, “Go.”

Jaime nodded and said earnestly, “Thank you.”

“No. Thank _you_. You could have just left Jaime. No one would have blamed you.”

Jaime shook his head, “I couldn’t do that either.”

Renly nodded at Jaime and Jaime's siblings and they ran out to the parking lot together. The ambulance had already left along with the first wave of people. “I’ll drive us all. I think I’m in a better condition.”

Jaime whipped off his cravat and nodded, “I agree.” He looked back at his siblings.

Cersei and Tyrion nodded at him and quietly followed.

They all climbed into Renly’s car and Renly turned on the ignition and pulled out of the parking spot. “Can you call Sansa? I just realized I don’t know which hospital Brienne’s going to and it might not be the closest one.”

“I’ll do one better,” Jaime muttered as he searched through his contacts. He found the picture of the man he was looking for. Clicking the green button he put the phone to his ear, “Selwyn? How is she? Are you okay? Yeah, I’ve managed to sort it out with the showcase. Renly’s driving. Okay, we’ll be there soon," Jaime ended the call and rubbed his face, "They're taking her to Oldtown.”

“Good oncology department,” Renly nodded as he bit the inside of his cheek.

Cersei coughed quietly from the back seat, “Oncology department?” she whispered hesitantly.

Jaime looked at Renly and Renly gave him a quick glance before turning back to the road, “Brienne’s always said that it isn’t a secret. Just remember to tell her… after.”

Jaime nodded and elected to ignore Renly’s pause for the sake of his own sanity and turned in his seat to face his siblings. He could see from Tyrion’s face that his little brother had already figured it all out. “Cersei…” Jaime murmured wretchedly, “Brienne… Brienne has cancer.”

Cersei gasped and tears came to her eyes, “Breast? Like mom?” Jaime could see his twin reliving the memories of their childhood. The loss. The devastation.

Jaime shook his head and wrung his hands, “Blood. L-leukemia. Um… c-chronic myeloid,” he managed to spit out. Jaime squeezed his eyes shut as tears once again pooled at the corners.

“By the Seven,” Cersei murmured as she leaned back in her seat, her hand still over her mouth, “Jaime I’m so…”

Jaime winced and Tyrion leaned forward and reached out. Jaime gave him his hand. “She’ll be okay,” Tyrion said confidently, “It’s a cold comfort, but it won’t take her this suddenly.”

Jaime choked out a sob as Renly lurched on the road a little bit, “Sorry,” Renly said with a strangled voice as his knuckles turned white around the steering wheel.

“I think you could have phrased that better,” Cersei said softly.

“I think I could have too,” Tyrion replied as he tightened his hold on Jaime's hand.

* * *

Jaime didn't even wait for Renly to park the car. Renly simply slowed down at the emergency entrance and Jaime practically jumped out of the moving vehicle and dashed into the emergency room.

Catelyn, Sansa, Robb, and Loras were all in the waiting room. Catelyn and Sansa immediately grabbed each of his elbows and immediately took him through the doors while Robb and Loras stayed back to wait for the rest. “Your friends went home,” Sansa said quickly, her grip tightening around his arm. She was shaking like a leaf. “Bronn had no idea what was going on and Addam just whisked him away.”

Jaime nodded, “Probably for the best.”

Sansa nodded and leaned her head on his arm for comfort. Catelyn updated him where her daughter could not get the words out, “She's currently still stationed on a gurney in a corner of the emergency ward. They didn't want to put her into a permanent bed here since they are going to transfer her to a room as soon as one is free. Jaime..." Catelyn paused as she set a hand on his shoulder, "She’s fully hooked up and all of her vitals are stable.”

“Have they done the blood work though?” he asked. Stable was good, but he needed to know if her disease had progressed. He prayed, as he had never done before, that it had not.

The two women shook their heads at him indicating that they weren’t sure. But then they swept around the corner and there was Brienne lying still unconscious with her heart monitor beeping steady counts. Selwyn was sitting in a random chair, dragged by her side, holding her hand, still crying, but no longer looking like the world was ending.

Jaime approached him slowly and Selwyn turned to them and gave a weak smile, “She’s still in the chronic phase,” he said, “She’s okay.”

Catelyn and Sansa weren’t able to catch him in time as Jaime fell to his knees in relief.

* * *

Brienne had woken up a couple hours after getting to the hospital and had immediately been accosted by her friends and family. Jaime had fluttered around her helplessly as the nurses transferred her into a private room. After, he had done everything in his power to make her comfortable until she finally asked him if he had eaten and he had to admit that he had not. Eventually, Jaime had conceded Brienne’s bedside for a couple hours, her damn eyes begging him to take care of himself. He got dinner with Cersei and Tyrion at a diner across the street from Oldtown Hospital.

Cersei moved her food around her plate as she rested her cheek in the palm of one hand, “This wasn’t what I had in mind when I said we should have a family dinner,” she said weakly. Her hair was pulled up in a sloppy bun and she looked less than immaculate. It was disconcerting, but also, she looked that way because she had stayed around for him, so Jaime felt pleasantly warm despite the heaviness in his soul. 

Jaime smiled at her feebly, “At least dad isn’t here. That went according to plan.”

“There is also food, sort of,” Tyrion muttered as he stared at his also half empty plate. The food hadn’t been bad, it just hadn’t been good either and it had turned to ashes in all of their mouths.

“I’m sorry about your girlfriend Jaime,” Cersei said softly as she placed her fork down, “Although I don’t know if that’s the right thing to say. I’m sure you’re not sorry for being with her.”

Jaime nodded and rubbed his face, “Not even a little bit.”

“It’s all more complicated than it seems isn’t it?” Tyrion muttered as he stabbed a sausage, “Life, love. You never know when it's going to fold back on itself and parallel an event you've already lived. A second chance of sorts.”

Cersei eyed Tyrion and then snorted a bit with laughter, “Why are you so philosophical? We weren’t like you when we were in highschool. We were stupid and shallow. I hate that about you.”

“You hate many things about me,” Tyrion stated matter of factly as he popped the cold sausage into his mouth and screwed up his face in distaste.

Cersei nodded deliberately, “I did. But that’s because I’ve never... never actually tried to get to know you T-Tyrion. I… I want to try.”

Tyrion eyed her and then looked at Jaime who could only shrug. He couldn't answer for what had come over Cersei either, although Jaime was aware of the inciting incident. Jaime imagined that Tyrion's brain was racing at the moment, trying to piece together why in all names his horrid older sister was suddenly being... _nice_ to him. He probably hadn't seen Cersei since she had moved out the summer after highschool. “What if I don’t want to try?” Tyrion asked eventually while regarding her.

Cersei winced and looked down at the table in from of her, “Then I would understand. I mean... I don't even know if we'll get along after we know each other. Maybe we'll hate each other more.”

Tyrion seemed to contemplate on her words and then let out a sigh, “We’ll go slow. We'll try.”

“Okay,” Cersei said. Jaime couldn't help the smile that tugged on the corner of his lips as his two siblings awkwardly tried to create a truce for the first time in fifteen years. It was stilted and weird, but it was something. Suddenly, Cersei dropped her face into her hands, “Oh gods,” she moaned.

“What’s wrong?” Jaime asked as he leaned forward in worry.

“This is going to seem so pedantic now. Like I’m trying to steal the show.”

“Well having things go back to normal would be nice right about now. I’m sure you agree. Right Jaime?” Tyrion said with a weak grin.

Jaime let out a small bark of laughter, “Come on; tell us Cersei.”

“It was supposed to be good news, after your show. An olive branch to both of you to say that I’m trying to be… better. I think I even meant to say it before..." Cersei waved at both her and Tyrion, "But it's all just so scrambled in my head now.”

"Well get on with it. Both of you are so dramatic," Tyrion scoffed.

"I am _not_ as dramatic as Jaime," Cersei hissed. Jaime's eyebrow rose. Tyrion snorted. Cersei pursed her lips and then shifted in her seat, opting to ignore her two brothers, “I wanted to tell you two what I’ve decided to do about my future.”

“I think that’s a good topic of conversation,” Tyrion said as he stole a glance at Jaime, “I think we should talk about the future, because there _will_ be a future,” he said resolutely.

Jaime smiled at his brother and reached out to grasp his hand, “Thanks little man.”

“Chop!” Tyrion shouted as he brought down the side of his hand on top of Jaime’s for calling him that old adage, but smiled nonetheless. Jaime retracted his grip with a chuckle. It had always been a term of affection from the one sibling.

Cersei rolled her eyes at the interaction, but couldn't help the lift of her lips, “I’ve decided I want to go to law school.”

Jaime’s eyebrow shot up, “To be with Robb Stark?”

"Who's Robb Stark?"

Cersei shook her head, “Of course not!" Jaime wondered if this was Cersei's denial kicking in again, "He’ll be done by the time I start." Jaime's eyebrows nearly shot off his face, for that was an admission of a relationship if there ever was any. But he didn't interrupt despite Tyrion's curious look and calculating eyes. "But he did introduce me to his world, told me a little bit about what he does, what he's learning, and let me meet some of his colleagues. I don’t think I’ll specialize in the same area of law even, but I think it’s something I’ll excel in. It sounds interesting. I'm interested.”

Tyrion regarded her, “I think you’re right.”

Cersei startled slightly and looked back at him, “Really?”

Tyrion nodded, “Really. You've always sought control and power. Law is a good place to channel that in a healthy way... or in an unhealthy way, but I have a feeling in the back of my skull this Robb Stark will help you do it properly.”

Cersei's nostrils flared, "We're not dating."

Tyrion's face contorted as he fully understood the situation, "I never implied that sweet sister, but now I know you definitely are."

"We're NOT!"

"By the Seven," Tyrion muttered as he looked at Jaime who merely shrugged his shoulders and chuckled at Cersei's minor fuming.

“So Cersei plans to go to law school and not date Robb Stark. What about you Tyrion?” Jaime asked.

“Well I’m going to finish high school,” Tyrion grinned, “And then I am going to complete a business degree and take over father’s company.”

“And he’s going to let you?” Jaime asked as he leaned forward to hear his brother's schemes.

“Well, one of the only two other options took a degree in Classics and has openly declared multiple times that he hates his summer job and the other, who is about to complete a business degree, has just said that she’s going to law school instead, so unless father wants the company to sink, he’ll just have to deal… or die.”

“Don’t kill him,” Jaime snorted, “The stink that would cause wouldn’t be worth it. Just out compete him.” Tyrion raised an eyebrow at Jaime’s suggestion and Jaime grinned at his younger brother, “Oh come on, we all know you’re business savvy enough to do it. He might not acknowledge it, but father knows that every suggestion I give him is just my parroting of you or else he’d have never let me out of his claws.”

“He’s right,” Cersei said, “You were in elementary when we got access to our trust funds and gave us the best investment advice out of all our relatives. Screw taking over dad’s business, destroy him.”

"You listened to my investment advice?" Tyrion asked.

"I made her," Jaime smirked. Cersei's nose wrinkled, but she didn't refute the statement.

“Your faith in me is inspiring,” Tyrion chuckled as he brought a hand to his heart, “I’ll consider it.”

“You already have a plan don’t you?” Jaime asked.

“Maybe,” Tyrion laughed as he rolled his eyes to the ceiling, “Maybe.”

“What about you then Jaime? What are you doing with your degree?” Cersei asked as she turned to her twin.

“Well unlike what dad thought, I didn't just choose Classics to rebel,” Jaime said.

Cersei laughed, "Still did a pretty good job of it though."

"There was some method to the madness, even if it hadn't been the plan at the time," Jaime replied.

Tyrion's eyes shone, "Oh, I know."

Jaime regarded his younger brother softly, "Yeah. I want to use my degree to pursue my childhood dream job. Museum curator. If I can. It’s going to require a lot more education and training still, but I’m up for the task."

Cersei gave him an encouraging smile, “I didn’t know that.”

“I only ever told Tyrion,” Jaime laughed and rubbed at the darkening bags under his eyes.

"When you two were in high school and he didn't even know if he would get the grades to get into university," Tyrion added, "He was sloshed... told me all his childhood dreams, but I also knew that he had a different reason for wanting to go to KLU then."

Both Cersei and Jaime straightened as they looked at each other in the eye. An understanding seemed to pass between them and then Jaime turned to Tyrion. "You knew."

"I love you, of course I knew," Tyrion said simply, "I'm glad it's done now though."

Jaime swallowed. Cersei's eyelashes fluttered, "Me too," they said in unison.

"So Museum Curator? That's what you want for your future?" Tyrion asked to cut through the tension.

“I know I want…” Jaime swallowed and fiddled with his utensils.

“Want…” Tyrion prompted.

Jaime sat there for a moment, “I know I want Brienne in it,” he said decisively, “My future. For as long as I can have her.”

“It’s okay if that’s your most important consideration you know,” Cersei said as she reached out a hand to clasp Jaime's, “Even over the dreams you had before. It’s not wrong to have love be a driving force...” Cersei took a deep breath in and stared at Jaime earnestly, “It _can_ be wrong, but it’s not inherently so.”

Jaime smiled weakly at her, “Yeah.”

Cersei nodded, “Yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was hard to write in so many different ways. So much happened and there wasn't as much fluff and love. Fluff and love comes next time. I don't know if I'm 100% happy with it, but I think it's about as good as it's going to get.


	28. The Taming of the Fox

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jaime has an excellent idea to curb Brienne's boredom.

Brienne was asked to stay in the hospital for a week to undergo some extensive testing and monitoring despite the fact that she had been in a relatively stable condition from waking up after the play. Really, it was only Brienne who demanded out. Everyone else insisted she stay, and even though she tried the pout on her father, he had resisted with zero qualms and she had immediately dropped the act.

However, from day one, Brienne acted the bored, petulant child when only Jaime was around and she could even be just a bit spoilt. Well as spoilt, as Brienne got. Which was basically a two on the zero to Cersei scale. He genuinely wished Robb Stark the best with that one.

No one believed Jaime though when he told them that Brienne was on the scale at all: not Renly, not Sansa, not Catelyn, and certainly not Selwyn, who was convinced Jaime had gone crazy from lack of sleep. Although minorly flummoxing, it definitely made Jaime feel a little bit special, if his puffed up proud, boyfriend, peacock strut had anything to do with anything, and especially so when he got ahead of her desires and produced bottles of blueberry Italian soda from his bag and granola bars from his pockets before she could even ask.

Jaime, of course, couldn’t spend twenty four seven with her this time, but that wasn’t for lack of trying. It was the new semester now, their last semester even, and they both needed to pass. So, Jaime settled with spending every evening and night by her side, visiting hours be damned. The Lannister name was finally useful for something and that was for hanging out with his girlfriend and haunting her hospital room at all times of the night. During the day he attended both of their classes where he could and then brought her notes to her after so that she wouldn’t fall behind.

Jaime groaned as he rolled up into Brienne’s hospital room and dropped his bag onto the floor by her bed. “Good day?” Brienne asked, amused as Jaime hefted the chair in the corner of the room over to the side of her bed.

Jaime just groaned again and handed her a folder of school documents and flopped his upper body on hers so that they were pressed cheek to cheek. He took a couple deep breaths and smiled into her hair as her scent washed over him. The day had just got better.

“Articulate,” Brienne grinned and turned her head to kiss him on the cheek he took the time to close his eyes for just a moment. “How was your day today?”

“Eh,” Jaime shrugged and then slid like a slug into the chair he had previous prepared, “Like any other day. Could have been better.”

Brienne snorted, “Probably less boring than mine was. Today I learnt that Dr. N. King, the pathologist, keeps the bodies in the morgue too cold. But also! That it’s not a problem.”

“Thrilling.”

“Right? Why don’t all medical dramas have a season dedicated to that premise?”

“The rating would be too high!” Jaime exclaimed as he leaned forward and took her hands in both of his and kissed the knuckles one by one. Brienne shifted in her bed and leaned forward to kiss Jaime on the forehead.

Brienne sighed loudly as she rested her cheek on the crown of his head, “I miss your bed.”

“Scandalous wench.”

“There’s nothing to do here, but remember and fantasize Jaime.”

Jaime reared back with wide eyes that were suddenly several shades darker, “Oh by the Seven, you’re serious.”

Brienne simply looked at him with a raised eyebrow and then leaned forward to whisper in his ear, “Regretting siding with my dad yet?”

Jaime dropped his face in his hands as Brienne giggled and, looking extremely pleased with herself, settled back onto her pillows. “Blood rushed in and then out real fast there wench.”

“Whatever do you mean?” Brienne smirked.

Jaime peaked between his fingers to glare at her, “Minx.”

“Bored!”

“Well then, because I’m the best boyfriend, I have something that should take care of that, at least for tonight.”

“Well I’m not bored when you’re around Jaime.”

“Even so.”

Jaime leaned over the side of his chair, reached into his bag, and pulled out a sapphire blue book. Brienne turned an alarming shade of red and her heart monitor sped up. Jaime glanced over at it and waggled his eyebrows. “You were too shy to make a recording, but how about you read some passages to me?”

“You’re joking!” Brienne cried while her eyes flickered between him and the book, “You wouldn’t make me!”

Jaime gave her a soft look as he placed the diary down on her bed and leaned forward to take her hands away from her face and into his, “Of course I wouldn’t _make_ you.”

“That’s dirty! You know you’re cheating,” Brienne trilled as she yanked back one hand and covered her eyes. After a moment she peaked out from between her fingers and saw that not only was he giving her his soft look, but he was also pouting. “Oh for the love of the Seven Jaime, fine!”

“Excellent,” Jaime said with a massive grin as he placed the diary into her hands. Brienne sighed and shook her head, though she couldn’t help the smile that lit up her face. She scooched over on her hospital bed and Jaime removed his shoes before he climbed in beside her and huddled into her warmth so that he was under her arm and his head rested on her shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her torso and got comfortable, “I’m ready to hear how you fell in love with me Brienne.”

Brienne light heartedly glared at him even as she flushed a light pink. She petulantly flipped to the first page. “ _Today…_ ” Brienne immediately went bright red, her cheeks turning splotchy, but her heart didn’t speed up.

Jaime frowned and rubbed his cheek against her shoulder, “Today?”

Brienne snickered as she ran a hand through Jaime’s hair as though to soothe him, “Remember you asked for this. _Today the mean older kids from grade six made fun of my teeth and freckles again. I was about to cry and then shoulder check them like daddy taught me how when INSTEAD short, little Jaime Lannister jumped down from the monkey bars between me and the older kids and did something super, duper dumb._ ”

“Excuse me wench? Are _you_ why your dad calls me little Jaime Lannister? Because _you_ were bigger than me?”

“Am bigger and wait for it,” Brienne snickered as her eyes quickly ran over the diary entry and she giggled under her breath, “Oh man, maybe I should have read more carefully through these before I gave them to you. The beginning of a romance, this is not.”

Jaime lifted his head ever so slightly, “What happened? I don't remember the event in great detail.”

“ _Jaime’s so small and looks so girly. He has these bright blond curls and pretty green eyes. Actually, I wasn’t even sure if it was him or Cersei at first until he opened his big, fat, mouth._ ” Jaime’s eye twitched. While it was true that he and Cersei had looked like identical twins until the hard onset of puberty, hearing it from his now girlfriend was a different kettle of fish. _“But still, even though Jaime was smaller, he shouted at the older boys as though he were a big kid too, ‘Hey you f*cking c*nts (he said bad words that I can’t write here because it’s bad) can’t you see she’s a big beast and will squish you?’_ ,” Brienne read.

“You fell in love with _this_ asshole?” Jaime asked perplexed lifting his head to stare at her.

“Quiet down,” Brienne chastised as she patted his hair until he was once again resting on her shoulder looking more confused than ever, “ _’If you want to get beat up, you should keep on going you mangy bears, otherwise go the f*ck away,’ and then stupid little Jaime turned to me and told me to not care about those kids cause they didn’t know what they were talking about. That they just didn’t know what a lion looks like. I think Jaime has no idea what a lion looks like. I don’t look like a lion at all. I think Jaime looks like a lion though with his golden mane that curls just around his ears. Jaime's actually very cute._ ” Brienne paused for a second as she cringed and turned hot red again, “ _Rawr._ ”

Jaime cackled as he leaned in and squinted, trying to decipher the four letters himself, “Did you actually write ‘rawr’?”

“Oh shut up, I was ten,” Brienne muttered as she quickly turned the page.

“So that was how it started,” Jaime mused.

Brienne sighed resigned, “Yeah… that was how it started.”

“With you wondering if I was a cute girl and a rawr.”

* * *

" _Sansa was sick today so I didn’t have anyone to sit with at lunch. Jaime sat down beside me at lunch today. It was the best. day. of. my. life.”_

“Please tell me I talked to you and that my friends and I didn’t just sit with you because you were a loner taking up a whole table.”

Brienne shook her head and Jaime groaned, burying his face into Brienne’s shirt.

\---

_“Jaime has a really young brother. You can tell that he really loves him. Jaime will talk about Tyrion any chance he gets. I would like to meet Tyrion one day.”_

_\---_

_“Today Jaime said hi to me. He also said hi to everyone else, but he didn’t skip me! I’m never going to forget this.”_

_\---_

_“Jaime’s mom came in with Tyrion to pick up Jaime and Cersei today. Tyrion is really small for a two-year-old and Jaime demanded to carry him around. While Jaime’s mom was talking to Ms. Donyse, Jaime showed Tyrion the playground and the garden in the schoolyard. I think…_ Oh gods…”

“You think?”

“ _I think Jaime would make a great dad someday.”_

“There’s more to that entry isn’t there?”

"You will never know.”

_\---_

_“Jaime tattled on Aerys today. He finally got in trouble with the teachers for bullying all of the younger kids, but now all of Aerys’s friends hate Jaime. I think what Jaime did was really brave though and all the kids calling him a tattle-tale are dumb.”_

_\---_

_"The class went swimming at the local pool today, and I was really scared of taking my towel off and going into the pool. Jaime asked me why I wasn’t swimming and I told him that I didn’t look right. He just looked at me weirdly and said that he saw nothing wrong with me, and then when I finally took off my towel he said that I look nice in blue. The other kids still made fun of me, but Jaime tried to drown one of them when I tried to get out of the pool, so it wasn’t too bad. I think I’m going to wear blue more.”_

* * *

“Another one wench,” Jaime demanded as Brienne steadily flipped through the book and chose random entries to read.

Brienne hummed, “Maybe this one…”

Jaime snuggled into her shoulder again and closed his eyes to listen. It was nice having Brienne read to him again. It was odd seeing his childhood in a different light, reliving memories that he couldn’t remember, and having them be told to him from another’s perspective. It pained him though, to hear the insecurity that Brienne had felt all her life. He idly rubbed her hip and hooked one of her legs with one of his. “Still fourth grade?”

"Yeah. The whole blue book and most of the green is fourth grade.”

“You had a lot to say about me.”

“First year of my first crush,” Brienne said with a smile and poked Jaime in the cheek, “Plus you were in my class.”

“Okay, read the next one to me.”

“Okay. Are you ready?” Jaime nodded. “ _Today I was paired up with Jaime and we were told to read The Little Prince_,” Brienne murmured gently.

Jaime froze.

“ _Dad had already read me The Little Prince before so I knew that my favourite chapter was the one with the fox, so I asked Jaime if it would be okay to read the chapter about the fox,_” Brienne continued, “Are you okay? Do you want me to keep going?” She ran her fingers through his hair in calming strokes.

Jaime swallowed as he nodded and buried his face into her shoulder. His fingers pressed into the flesh of her hip. Although his eyes were dry, he felt like he was crying, “Please continue.”

“ _Dad told me the chapter about the fox was about love and I wanted to tell Jaime that I love him_ ,” Brienne read with a small, wistful smile, “ _But I was too scared to say it directly and he probably thought I was ugly too, even if he thought I was a lion that looked nice in blue. He probably thought I was an ugly lion._ ”

“I know I didn’t think that,” Jaime chuckled lowly into her shoulder between deep breaths, “None of that. No ugly lions here.”

“ _So instead of telling him, I tried to let the fox tell him, but I think that like me, Jaime didn’t get the fox either_.”

“No… I didn’t.”

“ _I read half of the chapter and then gave Jaime the other half to read_ ,” Brienne took in a deep breath, and Jaime held his, “ _He read really slowly and stumbled over the words a lot. He even squinted at and tilted the book. It was a bit strange, but I didn’t mind,_ ” Brienne read, “ _I was just enjoying my time with him_.” Jaime released his breath and held onto Brienne tightly, “ _He started to cry though and I felt bad for him. My dad once told me my mom had a hard time reading because she said the words jumbled up for her and so that’s why my dad liked to read out loud so much, so I asked Jaime if they jumbled up for him too. He told me they did. I told him that he probably had dyslexia._ ”

“Your mom?” Jaime asked surprised.

Brienne nodded with a smile, “And my older brother before he died too.”

“Your dad told me about him, but not that.”

“Most of my memories of him I’m pretty sure are actually my dad’s. I was too young when he passed to really have made that many. It feels like… like I really knew him though… you know?”

“I know. Your dad paints really wonderful pictures with his words. You get it from him.” Brienne blushed. Jaime touched the page Brienne was reading from, “Was there anymore to that entry?”

Brienne looked back to the book, “No.”

“By the Seven. It was after that moment that was so life changing for me.”

“Well for me, the important stuff was before,” Brienne grinned, “Even though you didn’t understand a word of it.”

“You did write fox a lot.”

“The fox was very wise.”

That night as Brienne slept in his arms with the sound of her heart monitor beeping in the background, Jaime listened to The Little Prince and the philosophy of the fox.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you would like to know what Brienne and Jaime were reading, here is [The Little Prince](http://www.angelfire.com/hi/littleprince/frames.html). The chapter with the fox is chapter 21. Don't feel you need to read it. Anything that is painfully relevant will be quoted. But if you do read it... well... you'll see why some quotes might be painfully relevant and other quotes just go with Jaime and Brienne's story. It's just too bad that The Little Prince loves a rose the most, out of all things, because otherwise it would be perfect. Golden wheat fields, departure, and all.
> 
> I'm going to fully admit. While I was unsure of the previous chapter, I loveeeeeeee this chapter. It's about as close to a Brienne POV as we're going to get, and we basically get to see super soft!Brienne.
> 
> Nurse!Dany and Bully!Aerys are cousins.
> 
> Bonus diary entry from the green book (the summer after puberty hits Jaime hard):  
>  _Jaime and I weren't put into the same class and I almost didn't recognize Jaime in the hall today. He looks so different. Can someone change so much between elementary and junior high school? He cut his hair over the summer, his shoulders are broader, his muscles are toned, and his face is less round. He definitely doesn't look like Cersei anymore. Three words: HE'S SO HOT. But also still short._
> 
> Aka at no point in time was Jaime ever taller than Brienne.


	29. Domesticity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Selwyn makes a suggestion.

Brienne’s bag slipped out of Jaime's grip and dropped to the floor with a loud clatter. He looked up at Selwyn wide eyed as Brienne stared open mouthed at her father. “What?” she asked, surprised.

Selwyn rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as he leaned against the door frame of the hospital room, “I think you should move in with Jaime my shooting star, if you want to that is… and if he’s okay with it. But I’m only really suggesting this because I already know that you do and he is.”

“But dad…” Brienne said as she walked up to her father. Selwyn straightened himself and took her by the upper arms, smiling down at her sweetly, “That means that you’ll be in that house all alone.”

Selwyn chuckled as he brought Brienne in for a tight hug, “Every parent must learn to let go someday and I have already had twenty two wonderful years with you fluttering about in my household, my darling girl.” He looked up at Jaime, “I think… I think that it’s important not just for me to let go, but for you two to have your time now too. I had been meaning to suggest this after the Fair anyways, but…” Selwyn looked around the hospital room and his embrace tightened.

Brienne’s eyes watered as she buried her face into her dad's shoulder, “Are you sure?” she breathed as she wrapped her arms around her father's torso. It wasn't often that Brienne felt small, but in her father's arms, she always felt little and protected.

“I was pretty sure before the New Year,” Selwyn said and then looked at Jaime earnestly, “But I was positive after. You practically spend all of your time there anyways.” Selwyn's eyebrow raised for Jaime to see and Jaime blanched ever so slightly. "And when you're not there, it seems like Jaime isn't either," Selwyn quipped.

"Stop teasing him dad," Brienne berated half-heartedly.

"Let a father enjoy his daughter's romance and happiness twelve years in the making. I don't get to hear much about it anymore, when as a sprite you wouldn't stop talking—"

"Dad!" Brienne shouted. Selwyn merely grinned.

“Sir, um…” Jaime croaked as he made a mental note to tease Brienne, “I will make sure to take really good care of Brienne, the best I possibly can.”

“I know you will my son.”

“I’ll still visit,” Brienne promised, “All the time. I'm sure Jaime will piss me off enough at some point for me to go storming back home for a night or week.” Brienne took a peek at Jaime's face and as she expected, he look scandalized by her accusation.

Selwyn chuckled loudly as he soothed a hand down the back of Brienne’s head, “You two have taken to this idea quite quickly.”

Brienne flushed hot red as she reburied her face into her father’s familiar warmth, “Thank you dad,” she murmured simply.

“We’ll start moving your stuff over today,” Selwyn stated simply.

* * *

Jaime had ordered a second wardrobe by the time they had arrived at the Tarth residence. Brienne only grabbed a weeks worth of things to start with, not quite ready yet to move everything out of the home that she had grown up in.

Selwyn had provided them all with dinner and they had chatted over the warm food. Mostly Selwyn made light jokes about all of the things Jaime would have to be aware of when it came to living with Brienne. “She takes her socks off everywhere,” Selwyn warned, “You will find them in the couch, you will find them under the rugs, you will find them in the washroom, you will probably even find some in the kitchen!”

Jaime laughed as Brienne blushed, her socks already pulled off her feet and lying under the dining room table.

“Brienne is actually quite a good cook, but she uses all of the dishes when she does,” Selwyn laughed, “You shouldn’t leave her alone in the kitchen or else you will come back to empty cupboards. Wash as she cooks son,” Selwyn advised, “Or just cook yourself.”

“This is unfair,” Brienne eventually declared as her father continued to spill all of her homemaking habits, “Jaime now knows what to be prepared for and what to make fun of me for, but I don’t know any of his dirty laundry.”

“I don’t leave dirty laundry everywhere,” Jaime teased as he drank from his hot mug of tea with his arm thrown over her shoulder. Brienne gave him a flat look, but before she could tell him to shut up, Jaime grinned, “Don’t worry. There’s nothing to look out for. I’m perfect.”

* * *

Cersei stirred her drink with her straw, “So she’s moved in with you?”

Jaime nodded as they walked side by side down the crowded street on the cool spring day. “Most of her stuff has been moved over now. There’s a lot less room, but it’s really… cozy.”

“So less single man.”

“Why do women keep calling my decorating style that?” Jaime frowned.

Cersei rolled her eyes, “Because that’s exactly what your decorating style was,” Cersei stated as she looked into a shop window, “Do you think she’ll like something from in there?”

“Gods no, something less… just less. Brienne isn’t very materialistic.”

Cersei frowned, “I feel like you’ve asked the wrong person to help you Jaime.”

“Well who the hell else would I ask? It’s not like Sansa Stark will be able to keep it a secret.”

“Point,” Cersei sighed as they continued walking down the street, “I guess it’s also good that you live closer to the hospital too.”

Jaime chuckled, “Yeah I think we both realized long after, that maybe Brienne’s dad had an ulterior motive.”

Cersei snorted, “You two idiots are too in love to see the obvious.”

“And you? How is Robb? How are law school applications going?"

"I'm working to make sure that I have a strong application," Cersei said waving a hand through the air, "It's a lot of hard work, but I am... I'm enjoying it. I'm learning more and more every day and I think that I'll be competitive."

Jaime smiled and then quirked an eyebrow, "And Robb?"

"Who?" Cersei answered with the worst poker face Jaime had ever seen.

Jaime guffawed, "Robb Stark, you know the one you've bought all those gifts for?" He grinned gesturing at her bag containing a matching set of men and women's spring sweaters in robin eggs blue and a box with a pretty red bow stuffed full of small cakes. All of the Starks had monster sweet tooths.

"I have not a clue what you're talking about," Cersei continued to huff indignently.

Jaime gave her a devious smile and gestured at her neck, "So that isn't a hickey?"

Cersei slapped her hand onto her collar and turned a flaming crimson red, "That imbecile! And he told me not to..."

Jaime's grin grew.

Cersei wrinkled her nose and petulantly ignored her dumb brother before stating, as though Robb had never been brought up, “How about this shop?”

“Cersei, that’s a shop for teen girls. Everything is made out of cheap plastic.”

Cersei giggled and continued nonchalantly, “I’m just pointing out your options.”

Jaime rolled his eyes, “Thanks, you _are_ helpful.”

Cersei shrugged, “So what’s it like living with her.”

Jaime smiled as he buried the lower part of his face in his scarf, “It’s amazing. She’s amazing.”

“That literally gives me nothing,” Cersei snorted.

“She leaves her socks everywhere, which means she has a drawer that is just for socks and then still steals some of mine when hers empties. I bought a separate wardrobe for her but all of our clothes are kind of mixed together now because we’re close to the same size and for the most part wear similar things so she wears my stuff a lot and I can wear hers. Once in a while though, I pull out one of her more fashionable tops and…”

“Do you actually put it on?”

“Before you try and contact her, there is no photo evidence of any kind,” Jaime grinned as he eyed Cersei’s hand.

Cersei pouted and tapped her fingers on the phone that she was reaching for in her pocket, “You ruin all the fun.”

“That’s what she said.”

“Alright, what else?”

“We cook and clean together. Her dad warned me not to leave her alone in the kitchen. I made the mistake once and I came back to about two hours of dish washing after a ten minute shower, but I like it when she cooks and she likes it when I cook, so we just…”

“Do it together, you said that,” Cersei snorted in amusement.

Jaime laughed, “It’s never awkward. There are moments of silence, of course, when we’re doing our own thing. She doesn’t really play video games and I don’t read.”

“I thought you liked being read to,” Cersei said with surprised eyes.

Jaime chuckled, mildly surprised that Cersei knew that fact about him, “Fiction and history. She sometimes likes to read boring non-fiction about boats or something and that’s dull to have read to you so I game and she reads her boring fishing facts. But the silence is nice and usually her feet are buried against my thigh or we’re just cuddling. There's a lot of cuddling. Blankets are everywhere in the apartment now so we can cuddle anytime anywhere.”

Cersei’s face began to screw up, “This is getting too cute. I’m starting to regret asking.”

“The guys come over sometimes,” Jaime remarked so as to ease the cuteness, “Not Robert or Euron, because they’re fucking bastards and I mean that with the utmost offence,” Jaime laughed and Cersei elbowed him. “Brienne’s friends come over all the time too and we have dinner parties.”

“Domestic.”

Jaime smiled happy and content, “Yeah.”

Cersei huffed, “I definitely regret asking.”

Jaime just shook his head and chuckled again, but that was when he saw the shop. “By the Seven, this place is perfect.”

“Are you fucking serious Jaime? A Valyrian blacksmith? I thought you said she wasn’t materialistic.”

Jaime waggled his finger, “This isn’t materialistic; it is merely expensive.”

“She’s going to kill you.”

* * *

“Wench! I’m home!” Jaime shouted as he opened the front door.

“Welcome home,” Brienne replied, “I’m in the kitchen.”

“Please don’t tell me you’re cooking,” Jaime teased as he pulled off his shoes and swept into the kitchen, kicking discarded socks into the living room as he went.

Brienne huffed at him when he entered. She poured hot water into two mugs, “I’m making you tea Jaime.”

Jaime grinned, came up behind her, wrapped his arms around her torso, and leaned forward to kiss her on the cheek, “Thank you wench.”

“That’s right,” Brienne groused, “Feel shame at being accusatory.”

“I am shamed,” Jaime declared as he rested his chin on her shoulder, “You haven’t made plans with anyone this Spring Break have you?”

“Nope,” Brienne replied as she pulled on the tea bags to disperse the colour in the cups.

“Excellent, because I would have made you cancel them,” Jaime declared.

Brienne turned around in his arms and gave him a look through narrowed eyes, “What have you done Jaime Lannister?”

Jaime awkwardly dug around in his coat pocket while he continued to hold Brienne between him and the kitchen counter. Eventually, he managed to pull out a small packet of documents. “I thought it was about time to tick off another box on your fun list,” he said as he bit his bottom lip in excitement. He refused to call it a bucket list. Jaime flipped open the packet with one hand and spread the contents over the counter surface.

Brienne turned in his embrace again as she regarded what he had lain out before them. He kissed the freckles on the back of her neck in delighted anticipation, “You have got to be… Jaime! We haven’t even gone to a quarter of the games you’ve bought me!”

“I don’t see how this has anything to do with that,” Jaime said as he hugged her tighter and kissed her on the crook of her neck.

“We can’t do this Jaime, I would need—“

“I’ve already purchased the proper travel insurance, it’s all sorted wench,” Jaime cut in, “All you have to do is say yes.”

“Jaime,” Brienne turned back to him, “This is too much.”

Jaime shook his head, “We’ve talked about this. It’s never too much. Please Brienne.”

Brienne pressed her lips in a thin line as she looked at the tickets and reservations on the counter and then back at Jaime, “Did you really already organize everything?”

Jaime nodded, “Everything. The cancellation fees will be extraordinary. More than the trip itself!”

“You’re exaggerating.”

“Yes, but my effort is worth something even if it’s not money,” Jaime teased, “Come on Brienne. You’ve always wanted to go. I want to go. Come with me.”

“Is that what this is now? Me going with you?”

“Yes, that’s exactly it. Come with me to Tarth Brienne, don’t let me go alone,” Jaime said with a pout and wide eyes.

Brienne let out a loud sigh as she rested her forehead against Jaime’s, “Fine,” she muttered and poked his nose, “But only because I don’t want you to go alone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh gosh, the chapter numbers are climbing and the ball is rolling! Updates may be a little bit more sporadic from here on out due to uh... unwritten content issues, but the chapters should still be coming out fairly quickly!


	30. Oblivion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where in Jaime and Brienne go to Tarth.

“How is it…” Jaime groaned as they stepped off the plane, “That your family hails from a fucking hot and humid tropical island and yet you’re pale, blonde, and freckled?” He wondered if sunscreen was going to be enough to keep Brienne from burning or if he would be gifted with the sight of Brienne carrying a parasol around with her. Wouldn’t that be the most unusual of images… tall, broad Brienne with a white, lace parasol skipping down the beaches of Tarth. He then imagined Brienne closing the delicate thing with a snap of her hand and then beaming some miscreant on the beach over the head with it before opening the parasol again and continuing on her merry way. 

Brienne adjusted her sunglasses over her eyes as she took Jaime’s offered hand and stepped onto the open-air gangway, “It’s why we moved away,” Brienne replied easily as Jaime moved her hand to his elbow and they moved side by side to get to the gate, "I already feel like I'm burning."

“Well at least it’s nice and hot,” Jaime grinned as he squinted at the sun, "None of this dreary spring business."

Brienne swatted at him, “Stop doing that, you’ll ruin your eyesight.”

“My goodness wench, you are a nag,” Jaime teased as he pulled on his own pair of sunglasses and wiggled his eyebrows at Brienne. He paused when he saw the way that she was looking at him. Her eyes were roaming over his hair and his complexion, the expression on her face endearing to him. “What is it?”

Brienne just gave him a small, sweet smile, “You look like a golden lion in the sun Jaime.”

Jaime chuckled and raised his free hand to imitate a claw, “Rawr.”

Brienne guffawed and smacked him again as they made their way to immigration.

* * *

“You got us an ocean view room?” Brienne exclaimed in delight as she burst through the door, threw her bag on the king sized bed, and ran across the room to the balcony. Immediately, she flicked the latch and slid open the glass with a loud bang and hopped outside where the breeze whipped her long hair around her shoulders. She turned around to gesture at him to come closer, “Jaime, you have to see how blue the water is!”

Jaime had paused at the door to regard her. The sun reflected off of Brienne's flaxen hair, her blue sundress billowed in the breeze, and her smile lit up the room as she waved for him to come over to her. If he could define happiness, this was it before him. His heart tightened in his chest as tears nearly sprung to his eyes. Gods. Happiness and Brienne. It all just seemed so right.

Jaime smiled as he set his bag down and let the door fall closed behind him. He joined her, more calmly, out on the balcony with an arm around her waist and stared out to the ocean. the view was indeed picturesque. There were seabirds soaring in the sky, families on the beach, and sail boats at the marina. Out in the distance, craggy cliffs framed the village to the left and an endless expanse of sandy beaches were to the right, only broken every so often with a rocky out crop that promised tidal pools and life. The village they were in all had azure blue roofs that perfectly matched the shade of Selwyn Tarth’s front door while the houses themselves were a beautiful rose colour.

Jaime shrugged as he gazed out at the seas of Tarth, “I’ve seen a more astonishing shade of blue.” His fingers pressed into Brienne's side as he instinctively drew her in closer.

Brienne turned to him with a raised eyebrow, “Really Jaime? Those are Tarth’s famous sapphire waters out there.”

Jaime turned to her, lifted her sunglasses from her eyes and said, “Really.”

* * *

“Gods wench, we need to go swimming more,” Jaime muttered. He started his gaze at her freshly pedicured toes and ran them up the endless expanse of her long, long legs. Her swimsuit was a simple navy blue one piece, but the hard curve of her hips and the slight dip of her waist made Jaime remember how perfectly his arms and hands fit there. He brought his eyes up over her chest where his mouth watered at the thought of her small, but soft breasts and then his eyes ran along the strong slants of her shoulders. There was no way that he had ever truly thought she was ugly. Unusual maybe, but that wasn't ugly.

Brienne looked at him flatly, “You see me naked nearly every day.”

Jaime whistled lowly as he took a step towards her as though drawn in, “It’s not the same.”

Brienne rolled her eyes as she finished applying her sunblock over her thighs, “Can you do my back for me?” she asked as she passed him the tube of sun cream and turned around while pulling her hair over her shoulder.

Jaime squeezed a healthy amount of sunscreen into the palm of his hand and threw the bottle onto the towel before he began to slowly work the cream into the smooth skin of her back. “Your freckles have already gotten darker,” he observed as he firmly pressed his palm into her shoulder where he could feel tense muscles.

“I know,” Brienne whined as she pressed her back into his palms, urging him to continue massaging out her knots, “I’m going to be very blotchy by the end of the week. Remember to get under the strap.”

“I like blotchy,” Jaime murmured huskily as he lifted first one strap and then the other to make sure that he got the sunblock on every inch of her skin. With his thumbs he even worked in as much sunscreen as possible close to the hairline at her neck.

Brienne hummed in pleasure as Jaime checked to make sure that he had managed to cover every freckle while still massaging her muscles and then nodded to himself. “I’ll do you now.”

“Gods wench, don’t phrase it like that,” Jaime groaned as he passed her the sunblock.

Brienne laughed as Jaime sat on the beach towel and she sat down behind him, “Down boy.”

“I’m trying,” Jaime said with tight lips. They had already spent a day and night ravaging each other under the Tarth sun, moon, and air-conditioned heat, “It’s not working with you touching me like that.”

“Like what?” Brienne asked lowly as her hand squeezed his shoulder and then ran down his shoulder blade, her other hand working its thumb at the small of his back, “Like this?”

“You siren,” Jaime hissed as he flexed the muscles of his shoulders, “Tonight I’m going to ravage you again.”

Brienne leaned forward and blew on the shell of his reddened ear, “Not if I ravage you first.”

“Do we really have to go find a sea cave?”

“Yes!” Brienne chirped as she sat back and quickly capped the tube of suncream.

Jaime huffed, “Minx!”

Brienne giggled and leaned forward again to plant a kiss on his shoulder. “Come on Jaime. We could have stayed at home and had sex all spring break. Let's go appreciate the island.”

"Maybe you were right and I shouldn't have funded this trip," Jaime dramatically sighed. Brienne giggled and nipped on his ear. Jaime grunted and swiped at her, "Stop that wench or else I'm carrying you back to the hotel room."

They both stood up and brushed the sand off of themselves and left their towels behind as they wandered down the beach to where they had seen the first rocky outcrop from their hotel room the day before.

Brienne held onto Jaime’s hand as their feet sunk into the sand, “This place is so beautiful,” she murmured and wiggled her toes while taking in the sights.

Jaime stared at her, “Yeah, it is.”

“Look at the ocean Jaime, Seven help us all,” Brienne teased as she tugged his hand.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m looking,” he grunted as he looked away from her and out across the water, “I can see why you’ve always wanted to go here.”

“My dad has pictures that he shows me of what it used to look like. Other than a couple new hotels, it’s still the same.”

“That’s crazy,” Jaime muttered, “A place like this usually gets overrun with resorts and tourists really quickly.”

Brienne turned to him and grinned widely, “It’s the magic of the mermaids! Well maybe not magic, but their protection.”

"You do realize that the stories your dad told you as a kid about Tarth are probably untrue, right?"

"This one is absolutely true Jaime!"

“Excuse me? Wench, I think you’re back in the realm of the fanciful.”

“It's not fanciful at all Jaime, I’ll show you,” Brienne continued to grin as she tugged him to the water. She passed him a pair of goggles he hadn’t noticed had been pulled over her arm and pulled on her own pair. Brienne then quickly waded into the water without him.

“Wait up!” Jaime shouted as he tugged the goggles on, mindful of the cheap rubber pulling at his hair and then went in after her. The water was pleasantly warm, heated by the rays of the sun over the long day and for as blue as the water was around Tarth, it was much darker around the rocks. When Jaime got into the sea, he instantly discovered why, “Oh fucking gross!”

“It’s just seagrass you big ninny!” Brienne shouted back, “Now come here,” she demanded.

“Did you just call me a ninny, wench?” Jaime called back as he quickly followed her voice around a rock where the water suddenly dropped and he found himself needing to tread.

Brienne’s head and shoulders were also just above water and she smiled at him, “Let’s go search for mermaids.”

Jaime lunged at Brienne, and she squawked in surprise as he pinned her against one of the rocks, their legs brushing under water, as his heated skin pressed against her heated skin. Jaime practically preened at the low moan Brienne let out. “I think you’re the only mermaid in these waters,” he breathed into her ear and then placed a kiss on the tip of her nose.

Brienne hummed happily at his advances and brushed her hands up his sides, “Then let me drag you to the deep,” she murmured back and then sank below the surface.

Jaime frowned slightly as he watched Brienne go under, and then suddenly she yanked his foot and he was fully submerged too.

When he surfaced, he found that Brienne had already disappeared behind more of the rocks. With an exasperated sigh, he dived in after her and followed her through the water. He nearly caught up to her a couple times, but Brienne wouldn’t let him get a single word in before she swam off again and Jaime didn’t want to just grab her to stop her, he was more honourable than she, he decided, so he simply followed her lead even though he thought his girlfriend had drifted into the far side of crazy. Maybe it was all of the tropical sex for he definitely felt more light headed.

Suddenly, Brienne stopped and Jaime crashed into her. They both surfaced for air, “What in the Seven—?“

Brienne grabbed his hand and yanked him over to her side and said, “Jaime just look!” with a squeal.

He huffed and dunked back underwater to find what she so wanted him to see.

And there beneath the waves, happily chomping on the seagrass was a manatee.

* * *

Later in the week Brienne brought him to the beach where her mother and brother had drowned. As Selwyn had told him, there were signs everywhere warning beachgoers of the rip tides and life guard towers were station fairly regularly down this stretch of the coast.

They had decided to go to the beach in the early hours of the morning when the stars were still in the sky and there were no people around to intrude during their small vigil.

Jaime draped a towel over the sand as Brienne dug out two candles and a lighter from her backpack. They both took a seat on the towel, and Brienne lit each of the candles while humming softly to herself. Jaime closed his eyes and listened to the sound of her voice echoing with the waves of the ocean beating on the beach. When the wicks were lit, Brienne handed the candles over to Jaime, who buried the bases in the sand side by side. The orange flames of the candle light threw their shadows into the night.

Brienne sighed as she set the lighter down by her side and leaned into Jaime. He wrapped his arm around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder as she stared out at the calm horizon. "From the way it looks, you would never suspect this ocean to be dangerous," Brienne said as she ran her hand up and down Jaime's back.

"No," Jaime agreed, "Your dad probably also thought that."

"Until he didn't," Brienne sighed as she hooked her ankle around Jaime's ankle, "Will you be able to return to the place where I pass?"

Jaime buried his nose into the crook of her neck, "Don't talk about it as though it's inevitable."

"I think I would feel compelled to return if you left before me," Brienne murmured as she kissed the crown of his head.

"To each their own."

"So would you?"

"I don't know Brienne. I don't know," Jaime replied. His mother had passed in a hospital and for years he had been scared of the white walls and floors, but as time had gone on, the feelings of fear had passed, but the memory of his mother had not. He had never been scared of going to visit where her body rested though. Her grave, he had never feared. "All I know is that I never want you to feel that you're alone."

"I would be more worried for you in that regard."

Jaime simply let the thought sit. Slowly the sky began to lose it's darkness as the sun began to creep up towards the horizon.

“Sometimes I wish I had more memories to mourn them by,” Brienne whispered softly.

Jaime let the candle light flicker and the air buzz around them, heralding the coming of morning, before he sighed, “Memories and mourning can be a double edged sword.”

“Is it worth it then?” Brienne asked.

“What is?”

Brienne turned to him, “Making the memories.”

Jaime lifted his head from her shoulder and turned to fully face her, “Every memory Brienne. Every moment.”

As he leaned down to kiss her, his hand cupping her cheek, the sun rose over the horizon, throwing hues of pink, orange, and yellow over what was once the night sky.

* * *

Brienne hummed happily as she sat down on the bench beside Jaime and Jaime turned off their lamp. The illuminations of Evenfall hotel shone in the distance, and the little town sparkled with light as the moon casted its glow over the water and buildings. “The view here is beautiful, worth the hike,” Brienne said as she rested her head on Jaime’s shoulder.

Jaime let out a gentle sigh as he rested his head on the crown of Brienne’s and they took a moment of silence to observe the landscape before them from the cliffs.

“This week went by so fast,” Brienne stated as her eyes fluttered and she took Jaime’s hand in hers, “Thank you for taking me to Tarth, Jaime.”

“Thank you for coming with me.”

Brienne let out a low laugh, “Of course. That’s right. I agreed to come with you so that you wouldn’t be lonely.”

“And I would have been alone, without you."

“Well there were a lot of nice people at—“

“I don’t mean just here Brienne,” Jaime said as he lifted his head and turned so that her head slipped off his shoulder, “I mean… I would have been alone if I hadn’t… if you hadn’t come into… come back into… made yourself a part of my life.”

Brienne shook her head, “That’s not true. You had Addam, Bronn, and Tyrion and you were the one who fixed your relationship with Cersei and—“

“Maybe… but none of those could have been what they are now without you.”

“That’s silly to say Jaime,” Brienne admonished, “Nothing would be the way it is now if anything changed.”

Jaime huffed and sighed, “Well maybe. But I don't absolutely agree. I would always eventually fall in love with you. In this life or the next, that's inevitable."

"You think you loved me in the life before too?"

"Also inevitable."

"Also silly.

"Well, then wench,” Jaime cracked out a grin, “I’ll just say it straight out, I guess, since you aren’t letting me be poetic about this.”

Brienne raised an eyebrow, “Poetic?”

Jaime smiled and reached out a hand to caress her cheek, “Thank you for being a part of my life Brienne. It’s the greatest gift and that’s why things like this… sports games, trips to Tarth, could never match up.”

“You being a part of my life does though,” Brienne replied as she tilted her head and regarded him reverently.

“Hardly equivalent.”

Brienne laughed lowly, “I could agree, but no one would believe it.” Jaime gathered her up in his arms and held her tight to him as he kissed her temple and she kissed his. She wrapped her arms around him and held him tight. “Thank you Jaime… for choosing me. I know it was a hard choice.”

“It was actually the easiest choice I ever made,” Jaime laughed as he kissed her neck, “I had made it the instant you gave it to me… I just… I just needed to make sure.”

Brienne snorted and nuzzled his cheek, “And you’re still sure?”

“Undoubtedly.”

Brienne let out a relieved sigh, “That’s good.”

They sat there in each other’s warmth for a long time before they pulled apart and went back to watching the island and sky.

“I’m half expecting for there to be another meteor shower,” Brienne said as she gestured at the sky, “Maybe from Vulpecula.”

“Well fuck wench, you’ve finally found evidence I don’t control the universe,” Jaime teased.

Brienne laughed musically, “And all this time I thought you were half a god!”

“Maybe I can still tilt the universe on its side.”

Brienne frowned as she tilted her head inquisitively, her eyes going far away, “Is the universe flat?”

“Gods woman. How I love you.”

“It’s a serious question Jaime!” Brienne exclaimed and then she turned to him, her lips pulled up and her teeth exposed in the most genuine of smiles, “I love you too.”

Jaime huffed as he turned to her and took her hands in his. His thumbs ran across her knuckles, dip by dip. With his gaze, he followed the bend of her wrist, to the smooth expanse of her forearms, up the curve of her biceps, over the build of her shoulders, up the length of her neck, and the softness of her cheek to her astonishing, ocean eyes. He regarded her softly as his hands clenched around hers. “Brienne… will you do something for me? Something that is _just_ for me?”

She considered him. Really considered him. And then nodded. “Anything.”

No conditions.

She trusted him to never ask of her anything she would not want to do.

He let go of her right hand and reached into his pocket with his left as he smoothly slid off the bench and onto one knee. Brienne gasped. Jaime swallowed. “Marry me?”

Her eyes widened as her free hand went up to cover her mouth, “Jaime?”

“Will you marry me Brienne Tarth?” he said again as he held out a Valyrian steel ring for her to see, “Will you make me the happiest man in the universe?”

Tears pooled in Brienne’s eyes, “Jaime you can’t…”

“For _me_ , Brienne,” he stressed, “ _I_ want to marry you.”

“But it’s—“

“We’ve already made the most important choice,” Jaime said as he gazed into her eyes, “The rest are just formalities, but formalities I want to take. So what do you say?”

Brienne closed her eyes, pressing the lids shut as one large tear slid down her face. She then opened them and brought her hand down so that both of hers were clasping his right, “Of course it’s a yes Jaime.”

The biggest smile bloomed over his face as he slipped the Valyrian steel over her left ring finger.

It was a perfect fit.

Brienne swooped forward and swept him into her arms as they both stood on the cliffs of Tarth, tangled in an embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title of this chapter is from Oblivion by Bastille.
> 
> I feel like there are so many small moments that could be written in Tarth, but I had to stop somewhere and I got through the most important of events I wanted to lay out. I hope you enjoyed :)
> 
> Tarth's mermaids are actually endangered manatees. The protect the island by preventing big companies from coming in and wrecking their habitat and polluting the waters haha. Yes. It is random af.


	31. This is My Love Song to You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jaime and Brienne get married.

Sansa had immediately burst into tears when she had seen the engagement ring. “I’m so happy for you Brienne,” she had managed to get out between loud sobs, “You deserve all the happiness in the world.”

Brienne gathered her friend into her arms and Sansa clung onto her like a koala, “Thank you Sansa,” Brienne said as Sansa snuggled into her.

Sansa gave Jaime a weak glare, “You better treat her right mister, or else I’ll bring the fury of the Stark clan down on your head.”

Jaime grimaced and a shiver raced up his spine, “You know how to lay down a threat little Cat, true fear.”

Brienne laughed at Jaime’s expression as Sansa gave him her haughtiest expression, “Sansa, I want you to be my maid of honour.”

Sansa jerked in Brienne’s arms and looked up, her neck craning back so much that she nearly fell backwards. When she met Brienne’s eyes and saw that she was serious Sansa nodded her head so vigorously that Brienne was afraid that Sansa would make herself dizzy. “Of course! Of course!” Jaime simply snorted at the display.

* * *

Renly and Loras had reacted a little bit more calmly than the oldest Stark daughter. Loras spat out his drink and Brienne held up a napkin just in the nick of time to prevent herself from being sprayed in the face, “You want me to be a part of your wedding party?” he asked incredulously.

Brienne snickered as she dropped the cloth down on the table and Loras wiped at the rest of the mess he had made, “You’re a bitch Tyrell, but I’ve grown to like you.”

Renly gave Brienne his most heart warming smile and reached out to grasp her hand, “I would be honoured Brienne.” Brienne smiled at him as he leaned forward and tapped his forehead against hers, “Gods and to think… do you remember, when I first came out in highschool?”

“Yeah,” Brienne said with a wistful smile, her eyes closed in rememberance.

“What happened?” Loras asked watching the duo as they relived a shared memory.

“We both thought neither of us would ever find someone that would want to marry either of us. Stannis hadn’t come out yet at that point and well… in highschool you just feel like you’re going to be alone in the world forever if you're at all different,” Renly explained before he opened his eyes and drew back away from Brienne. 

“You didn’t think…” Jaime questioned as he looked worriedly at Brienne.

Brienne shook her head and gave Jaime a small, sad smile, “No… I never thought it was in the cards for me.”

Jaime’s eyebrows furrowed. It seemed crazy to him that two great people like Brienne and Renly had ever thought that they were unlovable. It made him regret all the more every moment he hadn’t loved her back then.

Renly grinned and plopped his head on Loras’s shoulder, “Fuck the cards.”

* * *

Jaime asked Tyrion to be his best man during the next Lannister sibling dinner. “You will need to provide me with an ornate stool to stand on,” Tyrion stated with a large grin, “Preferably one that makes me taller than you and is gilded with golden lions.”

Jaime guffawed as he drank his wine, “You’re not supposed to be the man of the hour at my wedding.”

“Says who?” Tyrion quipped.

Jaime snorted and then turned to Cersei, “I’d like for you to be a part of my wedding party as well Cersei.”

Cersei’s eyes widened as her salad fork dropped out of her hand and clattered loudly on her plate. She brought her hands to cover her mouth. Jaime could tell from her expression that she had never expected the offer to extend to her, “Really Jaime?”

Jaime nodded at his twin, a soft smile on his face, “Really.”

And then, for the first time, Jaime saw tears gather in Cersei’s emerald eyes and roll down her face as she sobbed out her happiness over Tyrion’s excited ovations, "I'm so glad she didn't kill you when you proposed with that expensive ass ring," she sobbed.

Tyrion eyed his brother, "Does she know how expensive it was?"

Jaime shook his head emphatically, "Gods no. I don't think she even knows it's real Valyrian steel."

* * *

“I cannot believe you’re getting married to Brienne the Beauty," Jaime automatically turned to glare at his best friend, his fist clenching around his controller, "Don’t punch me Jaime. I purposefully said that to recall a _time_ ,” Addam implored as they sat beside each other on Addam’s couch playing Halo with Bran, “This time last year more precisely. I don’t think any one of us would have predicted this and to anyone who says they would have, I say that they are lying.”

Jaime chuckled as he ran around the map shooting at their enemies and hiding from Bran, “Fine, you’re right.”

“Gods, please tell me Brienne is going to have some hot bridesmaids I can woo and have my happily ever after with too.”

“There’s Sansa.”

“Don’t think she’s into me man.”

“Cersei’s on my side.”

“Sorry man, I’m gonna leave you sister to the wizard. Nobody should go messing with magic.”

“Well you can always try either Renly or Loras.”

“If you were too pretty for me, then they are _much_ too pretty for me,” Addam sniggered.

“Hey!” Jaime protested as he elbowed his best friend, “I’m better looking than Loras Tyrell!”

Addam raised an eyebrow. “Yeah… Renly is one _good_ looking man.”

“Did you know he once thought that he would end up alone?”

“Gods, if a man like Renly fucking Baratheon ended up alone there would have been no chance for the rest of us.”

* * *

Selwyn stared at the ring on Brienne's finger, blinked a couple times and then looked up. “I might understand now… why one would name a sword Oathkeeper. Swords often represent the heart in literature don’t they?”

Brienne and Jaime just looked at him with identical smiles on their faces. "It's not real Valyrian steel dad," Brienne said. Selwyn raised an eyebrow and looked over at Jaime, who quickly shook his head. However, Brienne saw the movement. Her eyes narrowed, "It's not... right Jaime?"

Selwyn smirked at Jaime's terrified look and thought of a nice way to turn the conversation elsewhere... at least for the moment, “Though don’t swords also stand for something el—“

“Oh for the love of DA-AD,” Brienne shrieked as she nearly leapt across the kitchen table looking like a tomato. Jaime had gone a bit paler instead and rested his face in his hands to try and piece himself back together as Selwyn chuckled merrily to himself.

“To be honest though, I thought you two were already engaged.”

“What?” Jaime asked surprised as he looked up from the pieces of his sanity lying shattered on the ground.

“And you thought we just wouldn’t tell you?” Brienne asked even more shocked.

Selwyn shrugged nonchalantly, “Life and love are complicated. I thought maybe you two wanted to secure the engagement, but postpone the marriage. Jaime certainly spoke as if he already intended to marry you over the New Year.”

Jaime flushed slightly as Brienne turned to beam at him, her anger already long forgotten.

“And you my shooting star have wanted to marry him since you were a child. I remember many a ten year old's play acting of a Lannister wedding.”

“DA-AD!”

* * *

On a warm sunny morning the summer after they both graduated from KLU, the Classics courtyard, the place that Jaime and Brienne had found each other, became the place that they swore before all of their family and friends that they had chosen each other. It became the place that they declared they would love each other, and that they would continue to love each other, even after.

Ned Stark, Catelyn's husband, officiated the wedding. They stood in front of the old oak bench that Jaime and Brienne had often sat on, the sun shining down on the couple and their guests as they made their vows not just before the gods, but before all that they cared about and knew.

Brienne slipped a thick gold wedding band onto Jaime’s ring finger, and Jaime smoothly slipped off Brienne’s engagement ring to slip on a thin, matching, gold ring before he restacked the Valyrian steel one on top.

After Jaime and Brienne kissed, Jaime leaned forward and whispered lowly into her ear, “A man does not recover from such a devotion of the heart to such a woman. He ought not. He does not.”

Brienne softly replied with, “How quick come the reasons for approving what we like.”

Jaime laughed loudly, Brienne also laughing delightedly in his arms, for all their guests to hear. As the couple continued to laugh, their guests stood and cheered.

* * *

Jaime had barely let go of Brienne the whole evening during the reception, but at one point during the night someone had whisked her away from him. He tried not to panic. There was no one in the vicinity who would want to hurt her and besides, no one would be stupid enough to think they could get away with hurting the bride. Or so he thought, until Cersei and Tyrion ran up to him. “Father’s here,” Tyrion breathed with Cersei panting at his side with wild eyes, “I saw his secretary.” When Tyrion pointed the man out, Jaime realized that the secretary had been the one to call Brienne away.

Words didn’t even have to be exchanged between the Lannister siblings; they split at once to find the Lannister patriarch. Jaime was going to kill his father for crashing his wedding and if there was even one hair out of place on Brienne's head, Tywin Lannister was going to wish for the gift of a swift death.

After only five minutes, the siblings all convened outside the reception hall in front of a small office, the only place that all of them hadn’t yet looked.

Inside they heard Tywin’s strong berating voice. “I hope you know that you will not be getting any money from me Ms. Tarth—“

“If you’re not going to call me Brienne, at least call me Mrs. Tarth-Lannister,” Brienne snapped.

Tywin suddenly sounded infuriated, “You’re the girl who told my son that he wasn’t perfect and now you’ve deigned to _marry_ him.”

“I’m sorry sir, but actually, I do think your son is perfect. You’re the one who ascribes differences to imperfection,” the Lannister siblings heard Brienne’s voice rise, “What would your wife say if she were here? If I were she, I would be disappointed in you for thinking that any of your children were in anyway _less_. All of them are fine young people, you should try to get to know them and figure that out for yourself.”

“Don’t speak as though you understand girl. I know my children quite well.”

“I am a woman,” Brienne hissed, “I know your children too. And I understand the late Mrs. Lannister more than most.”

The door was thrown open with a bang and Brienne was ready to stomp out of the room in a rage when Jaime caught her in his arms. Brienne twisted and seethed in his hold, but he gently ran his hand down her back until she was at the point of only minorly boiling. Cersei frowned at her father as he turned to look at them with cold disapproving eyes, obviously disappointed that they had been eavesdropping like the children he still considered them all to be.

Tyrion coughed and straightened to his full height, “I wouldn’t go forward with that merger with the Boltons,” he said to break the ice as Jaime murmured lowly into Brienne’s ear to stop her from launching herself back at Tywin Lannister, who was looking down at Tyrion like he was an insect.

Tywin’s eyes flickered and he scowled, “Don’t speak of things you know nothing about.”

Tyrion simply shrugged as Brienne continued to rage, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

And with that they all swept away as Jaime tried to continue to calm a simmering Brienne. The moment Jaime spotted Selwyn, he gestured in the direction of Tywin Lannister. Selwyn nodded, a frown marring his face as he regarded his harried daughter, and left the hall like a man on a mission. Tyrion, who had seen the interaction between Selwyn and Jaime, followed after the soon-to-not-be Gentle Giant with his phone already in camera mode. Jaime would ask for the footage later. He was very glad that he wasn’t the Lannister that was about to be squished.

* * *

“I’m not going to say you look light on your feet,” Jaime said as he found where Brienne had once again wandered off to while he had gotten her a blueberry Italian soda. Brienne might have been the bride, but she wasn’t accepting drinks from anyone else. Jaime didn't mind getting her drinks for her at all, other than the fact that she kept disappearing into the crowd of their guests.

Bran grinned at him from Brienne’s side, “But at least I’m on my feet! And Arya showed me how I can use these crutches to take out people’s shins.”

“Arya’s a demon,” Brienne snorted as she sipped at her drink and took Jaime’s hand in hers.

“Arya’s probably running around challenging someone to a fight right now,” Catelyn sighed as she came upon them. “Congratulations you two. The ceremony was beautiful. The reception is exquisite.”

“Thank you Catelyn,” Brienne said with a bright smile. Catelyn moved in to give Brienne a hug, which Brienne returned in kind. When Catelyn backed away, she looked over to Jaime.

Jaime nodded at her and Catelyn nodded back at him. An acknowledgement of what she had done for him, first in anger and eventually in compassion.

“Do you two have a plan to go anywhere for your honeymoon?” Catelyn asked.

Brienne took another large gulp of soda before she replied, “I told Jaime that if he bought me another big trip to somewhere I would kill him, so no.”

“I tried,” Jaime bemoaned, “But she wouldn’t give me any clues about where else she wanted to go. Do you know?”

Catelyn laughed and shook her head, “I wouldn’t. I’m sorry. There was only one thing she dreamt about as a child.”

“Catelyn!” Brienne exclaimed scandalized, “Not you too!”

“You’re getting married to him dear. It should be okay that he knows,” Catelyn laughed.

“He already knows too much,” Brienne implored.

Jaime shook his head and grinned, “One can never know too much. Please tell me more.”

“Never trust mom to be on your side,” Bran said to Brienne, “It’s how wise men fall.”

“This is just because I told him I wouldn’t get him a pet bird,” Catelyn scowled playfully, “I’ve already told you, the house is loud enough without a parrot squawking all the live long day.”

“A raven mom, I want a raven.”

“Can you even _get_ a pet raven?” Jaime asked.

Bran glared at him playfully, “Now _you do_ have to be on my side.”

“Catelyn, you should get the boy his raven,” Jaime said solemnly.

* * *

“Okay everyone!” Addam shouted into the microphone. A screech of feedback echoed through the reception hall and everyone winced, “ Sorry! Sorry, but at least that got your attention. It’s time for the shoe game! Jaime give one of your shoes to Brienne, Brienne give one of your shoes to Jaime and get your butts down on those chairs. Everyone gets one question maximum, you don’t have to ask one, but why wouldn’t you?”

Jaime and Brienne sat back-to-back as most of their friends and family crowded around them. “Okay!” Sansa voice came over the microphone next, “Let’s start easy so everyone understands what this is all about. Who loved the other first?”

Jaime pouted and held up Brienne’s shoe. Brienne held up hers too.

“No contest? Brienne definitely loved Jaime first?” Addam questioned. At the laughter from a very specific part of the audience at the colour that Brienne turned, Addam grinned, “Well, there’s definitely a story behind that.” Many people laughed. “Well then, who initiated the first kiss?”

Jaime grunted again as he once again held up Brienne’s shoe and while Brienne flushed, she held up hers too. Sansa grabbed Addam’s wrist and shoved her face back into the mic, “Really!? You never told me this! How daring Brienne!” Jaime cackled as he imagined Brienne going hot red. Now that he thought about it, it was always Brienne who initiated everything. Jaime frowned, he really needed to get on top of his game.

Selwyn got the mic next, “Who is the better cook?”

Jaime held up Brienne’s shoe and Brienne held up Jaime’s. Some fond titters rang out from the crowd.

“Who has the hottest friend?” Bronn asked vivaciously.

“Oh up yours Blackwater,” Jaime shouted as he held up Brienne’s shoe along with Brienne who just simply laughed as everyone turned to Renly who simply bowed. Bronn frowned, that was not what he had been aiming for.

Cersei got the mic next. She paused for a second before an idea popped into her head, “Who… sheds the most hair?”

Instantly Jaime brought up Brienne’s shoe. The crowd erupted in a roar of laughter. “Jaime Lannister, do _not_ tell me you are holding up my shoe,” Brienne shouted as she twisted to see what he had done, “You leave your hair everywhere!”

“My hair? Yours are the ones that always clog the drain wife!” Brienne jerked as Jaime beamed at her. He had been training himself to smoothly replace ‘wench’ with ‘wife’ come their wedding day. Brienne looked both shocked and pleased. More than that she looked happy. Mission success. He was officially the best husband.

“Yes, hair is always clogging the drain, and it's yours,” Brienne chastised fondly, her voice now low, her cheeks flushed.

Cersei laughed, “Wow, hair _is_ contentious,” she murmured while turning to look at Robb with glowing eyes. After a second, she seemed to realize what she had done and looked around frantically, shoving the microphone into Robb's chest and turning away from him as thought he weren't there. The whole effect was ruined by the fact that she was still holding his hand.

Robb snorted at Cersei adoringly, his thumb stroking hers as he took the mic, “Who uses more hair product?”

Jaime sighed as he held up his own shoe knowing that Brienne was doing the same.

Theon took the microphone next, “Who buys the tropical body wash you two always smell like?”

Brienne snickered as she held up Jaime’s shoe while he felt personally attacked. “It smell delicious!”

Arya snatched the mic, “Who would win in a…” she mulled over her words, “ _Fair_ fight?”

Jaime once again lifted his own shoe, but by the reaction of the audience he knew that Brienne had thrown up her own. He looked over his shoulder at her with narrowed eyes and she looked back, her eyes alight with the glitter of a challenge that would never come to pass, “You’ve seen me body check,” she stated simply.

“Have you seen me?” he growled back.

“Yeah, and I say I would’ve taken you down easy.”

“My heyday against yours? I would win. I would be more than strong enough.”

“Oh Jaime Lannister what a brilliant fighter, said no one ever,” Brienne teased.

“And they’ve said that about you wife?”

“I took down my father once.”

Jaime choked, “Seven help us all.”

Very nervously Podrick took the mic next, “Um… who knows more about the Classics?”

Jaime raised his own shoe. Again the laughter made Jaime’s eye twitch, “You have got to be kidding me wife!”

“You’re making a joke of yourself!” Brienne shot back.

Podrick looked absolutely devastated that he had caused a ruckus. Everyone else though thought it was the funniest thing to see Jaime try to convince Brienne that he knew more than her. The only two people who were actually unsure were Brienne and Jaime themselves, but neither was going to concede the argument.

Loras got the mic next and grinned at Renly who gave him two thumbs up, “Who had better previous crushes?”

Jaime and Brienne instantly put up Brienne’s shoe. Cersei didn’t even take it personally and Renly once again bowed. “Shut up Renly! Today isn’t supposed to be about you!” Brienne called out.

“I didn’t even say anything,” he chuckled.

“Your ego speaks for itself!”

Renly grabbed the mic, “Alright, let’s make it about you two. Who is louder?” He asked vaguely for the children in the room.

Jaime snorted as he kept Brienne’s shoe up and Brienne turned Lannister red, but also kept her shoe up. The adults in the audience laughed.

Gendry was the next to take the microphone, “Who is the bigger romantic?”

And to a lot of people’s surprise both of them held up Jaime’s shoe. Gendry gave Arya a pointed look. “Fuck,” she swore and wrinkled her nose, “Fine you’re not the _only_ stupid one.”

Bran merrily took the mic from his twin's boyfriend, “Another easy one. Who is the bigger asshole?”

Jaime’s shoe stayed up in both of their hands and no one was surprised.

Jon took the mic next, “Who wants kids more?”

Jaime blinked. Brienne blinked. “Uh…” they both resonated and then slowly raised their own shoe.

“Tarth-Lannister babies!” Sansa cooed loudly.

Brienne turned to Jaime and leaned back so that she could be almost face to face with him, “You know I want kids,” she murmured softly.

“Yeah, I know,” he smiled at her as he pecked her on the lips, “I want them too.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

Catelyn delicately took the microphone from Jon, “Who has changed for the better the most in this relationship?”

Both of them raised their own shoe and Jaime rolled his eyes, “You can’t be serious wife.”

“I’m dead serious Jaime,” Brienne huffed.

Jaime’s eyes softened as he thought of Selwyn’s words, “You’re going to have to tell me.”

Brienne’s eyes softened too, “I will.”

And then Tyrion, in all of his infinite wisdom, asked the question that caused the most calamity, “Who loves the other more?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of the chapter comes from SafetySuit's Never Stop. Amazing song, I have been obsessed with it for forever. The acoustic version is *chef's kiss*.
> 
> I hope people are happy with the wedding chapter although it's not very... wedding-y haha. I do love the shoe game.
> 
> Reminder that the next couple of chapters might not be on as quick of an update schedule due to some larger scenes not having quite been written yet, but the plan is to have this fic finished within the next two weeks so...
> 
> Gosh it's coming to an end D:


	32. We'll Share Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where in we find out Brienne's mom's name.

The first morning that Jaime and Brienne woke up as husband and wife was almost like any other morning. The only difference was that when Jaime ran the back of his left hand down Brienne’s cheek, the warmth of his fingers were interrupted by the feeling of smooth metal.

They spent the morning in bed, slowly exploring each other again as though it was the first time. Brienne couldn’t help the strange fixation she had with the metal band around his finger and he adored the look on her face every time she came across the ring again and again. Sometimes when she came across the shining gold, she would simply pause for just a moment and then move on, other times she would linger and finger the metal carefully before continuing, and once in a while, when she wanted to take the time, she would turn the band just to feel it move against his skin. The gold ring itself didn’t mean much, but it symbolized something great between them, a promise made corporeal.

Jaime understood the fascination. He had acted very much the same way after she had accepted his proposal on Tarth. Jaime’s captivation with Brienne’s golden wedding ring didn’t come close to rivalling the way he had felt about seeing the Valyrian steel on her finger on those craggy cliffs, but it touched him to the depths of his heart when their left hands were entwined together and he could see how they matched, see how they had chosen to be a part of each other’s lives.

Jaime didn’t make a promise to himself that he would never take off his wedding band. He didn’t think that it was a promise he could keep. But he did tell himself that he would do his best to always have it on his person, in some way. Jaime contemplated about what kind of chain he could wear so that he could slip the ring on that when it couldn’t be on his finger. He also thought about how the chain would have to match Brienne’s style too, incase she wished to do the same as him.

But for now, he knew he didn’t have to take off the ring. He would try to not take it off for as long as he could. So he stopped thinking about the chain, and just thought about Brienne as her hands moved over him and his hands moved over her.

“Jaime,” Brienne murmured as she breathed him in, “My Jaime,” she said.

He swallowed deeply as he looked into the ocean of her eyes. When she said his name like that, it was not to possess him, but to tell him that she held him dear, “Brienne, my Brienne,” he returned in kind knowing that words would never be able to capture the depth of his devotion.

She slid her body on top of his as he held on to her hips. Her hands massaged his shoulders before they slid in toward his collarbone where her fingers tickled his skin before she slid her palms down his chest. She braced herself against him as she leaned forward and kissed him on the lips, mouth open as their tongues touched and danced and skittered across skin, teeth, and lips.

His hands slid from her hips to her ass where he gave a firm squeeze and then he drew his hands, flat and open palmed, the way she liked, up the small of her back and to her shoulder blades. She moaned at the warmth of the touch and her fingers curled into his side as her body slid against his until his cock sat nestled within her wet folds.

Breaking the kiss, she pulled back and lifted herself ever so slightly. He reached between them and gripped himself and slowly she lowered, clenching tightly around him as she moaned in satisfaction, in completeness. As individuals they were whole, but together… together they were _whole_.

As soon as he was in her to the hilt, Jaime took his hand and braced himself on the bed and sat up so that he could hold her close to him as she rolled her hips and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He kissed her collarbone slowly and sweetly as the tips of her fingers slid over the dip of his spine. One of his hands moved to her waist and the other was once against flat and open on her back, between her shoulder blades as she rode him to both of their pleasures.

He groaned softly as she nuzzled his forehead with her nose and looked up so that she could capture his lips again. He nibbled gently on her bottom lip and she keened at his ministrations.

“Gods I love you so much,” he murmured against her lips.

“I love you more,” she whispered back.

He thrust up into her deeply, “Don’t start with me again wife.”

She laughed and broke their kiss to nip at the crook of his neck. “I can’t believe you think you love me more than I love you,” Brienne murmured as she ground hard against him.

Jaime pulled her hips flush against his. “I do though,” Jaime grunted as Brienne rolled her hips, “I must. It must be impossible to love someone more.”

“I can defy the impossible.”

Jaime groaned as he thrust up into her again, this time holding her hips steady so that she would feel him through and through. “If you can, then I can.”

“It’ll just be endless, won’t it?” Brienne contemplated as she ground against him as her heart sped up and her breathing accelerated.

“I’ll take endless,” Jaime ruminated as he felt the pressure in him build to a crux, “I’ll take endless with you.”

They came together.

* * *

Their first child was born three years later. The pregnancy had been manageable, but difficult to balance with Brienne’s medication. However, they had been able to get through it with very few complications. They hadn’t waited much longer after their wedding to have their first child because the doctors had told Brienne that if she intended to have kids that it would be easier if she had them when she was still in her mid-twenties. The idea had initially been scary for both of them since neither had planned on having kids until their early thirties, but with the support of their families and friends they had decided, together, to take the leap.

Jaime and Brienne had been smitten with their daughter from the moment she was born. She had golden hair and infant blue eyes that neither parent could predict would stay blue or turn green. She was covered in Brienne’s freckles. She was big and strong, like both of her parents, with a grip unlike any other child’s. She had the lungs of her father. As Tyrion playfully remarked, she just didn’t shut up.

Brienne had held her and cared for her for a short while before it was deemed that Brienne needed extended amounts of medical rest which required her to stay in bed, optimally be asleep, and not be caring for a child, and so, Jaime got most of the new born baby cuddling and care duties. It was a task that he had relished from the moment he was given them. Jaime always kept himself and their daughter close to Brienne though, never in the hospital nursery if he could help it, for any time Brienne had the energy to hold her.

“I know we haven’t talked about it yet, but can we name her Joanna?” he asked quietly as he looked up from the sleeping bundle in his arms into the tired and drawn, but shining blue eyes of his wife.

“Are you sure Jaime?” Brienne asked sleepily as she ran the tip of one finger across her daughter’s forehead before she moved her hand to cup Jaime’s cheek. He leaned into her touch and scrubbed his scruffy beard against her palm before he turned his head to gently kiss the inside of Brienne’s wrist.

“Only if you are.”

“Of course. I just thought you would have wanted to name her after your mom.”

“What?” Jaime’s eyebrows pulled together as he regarded Brienne, “She would be though.”

“No… that would make her named after my mom,” Brienne said slowly as her hand dropped to his shoulder and slid down his arm to where the crook of his elbow cradled their daughter’s fuzzy, golden head.

Jaime opened and closed his eyes slowly as though trying to clear the haze of exhaustion that had been permeating all around them. Then he said, “Joanna Lannister.”

Brienne shook her head as a fond smile tugged at her lips, “Joanna Tarth.”

“Oh!”

“Oh.”

“How the hell has this never come up in conversation wife?” Jaime chuckled as he leaned forward to kiss Brienne on the cheek and then the lips. He settled back down into his seat and then kissed his freckled daughter on her nose. Her face scrunched in a way that was so familiar and dear to Jaime that tears came to his eyes.

Brienne laughed quietly as she looked down at the peaceful bundle in his arms, “Hello little Joanna Tarth-Lannister.”

* * *

Jaime had quickly received the qualifications and experience needed to replace the retiring Arthur Dayne as the museum curator in the two years before Joanna was born. As it turned out, when Jaime had documented his dyslexia during his tutoring sessions, it had gone into the university records and the proper concessions were made when he had applied for further studies. As many had always known, he had never been stupid and Jaime had scared himself by rocketing to the top of his graduate class, therefore securing his dream job with ease. Although he was offered positions at larger institutions in the following years and decades, Jaime was happy with the small and familiar collection he now liked to call his own. The small museum also allowed him to keep sensible hours. Jaime could go home each evening to his wife and eventually his kids and never have to spend a weekend working.

Also before having Joanna, Brienne had found a job that she could do from home. She became an editor for a publisher that created anthologies and retellings of ancient stories and legends from all parts of the world. Her hours were more erratic so she sometimes found herself working evenings and nights, but always with Jaime sitting in the room by her side, first alone, and then sometimes with a smattering of their children. However, because her hours were not strictly mandated, she was able to accommodate the schedule of her medical appointments and their ever changing and erratic lives.

Jaime and Brienne ended up having two more kids; all while Brienne was still under thirty. When Brienne discovered that she was pregnant with her second child only months after having Joanna, many a _congratulations_ were been made by many a people, most of which were punctuated by high pitched squeals, wiggly eyebrows, and pats on the back on a job well done. Most of those pats had been on Brienne’s back much to Jaime’s chagrin.

Soon after the announcement, they moved out of Jaime’s apartment and into a large two-story house a couple of blocks away from Selwyn’s home. From the moment they had moved in, the house was never quiet. Jaime painted the front door the same shade of blue as Brienne’s eyes.

* * *

“Story!” Galladon shrieked as he bolted through Jaime and Brienne’s bedroom door and vaulted onto their bed, “Story!” the four-year-old cried again as he bounced on the mattress impatiently and even flopped on the covers a couple times to try and make a point. Selwyn had once said that Galladon looked a near replica to his namesake, except for his stunning emerald eyes, but Galladon had definitely adopted Jaime’s brand of dramatics.

Brienne giggled as she swept out of the washroom and gathered her son into her arms, raining kisses all over his freckled nose, “I think you were too fast for daddy and Jo, Gally.”

“Daddy’s just slow mama,” Galladon giggled triumphantly as he threw his arms around Brienne’s neck, snuggling himself into her warmth as she threw back the bed covers and got themselves situated before the others arrived.

Joanna was the next one to appear at the bedroom door, a book in her hands, which she held proudly over her head. “Daddy helped me choose,” Joanna explained as she clamoured over and climbed onto the bed. She took her place beside Brienne, a location that she knew would eventually land her sandwiched between two large, warm, bodies. It was a comfortable and safe place and she was never going to tell her siblings what they were missing out on by just snuggling with just _one_ parent.

“And then Jo abandoned us,” Jaime grinned as he finally entered the bedroom and shut the door behind him with his foot. Two-year-old Catelyn was in his arms, cradled against his hip, sucking on her thumb. Everything Catelyn was Jaime, except for the deep, sapphire blue of her wide, curious eyes.

“Dad hurry up!” Joanna berated as she fluffed her father’s pillow, “Mama never starts without you here.”

Brienne gave Jaime a sweet look and Jaime simply chuckled under his breath with a shake of his head, “I’m coming, I’m coming,” he said as he sauntered across the room. Joanna dragged the covers out of the way for him and Jaime fell into the bed beside her with his back against the headboard. He shifted Catelyn so that she was sitting in his lap, much the same way that Galladon was in Brienne’s lap. She babbled happily and pressed her cheek against Jaime’s chest. Jaime brushed one of his hands through Catelyn’s golden locks and another hand ruffled through Joanna’s straw ones.

“You can start now mama,” Galladon declared as he wiggled excitedly, “Did you choose something with knights Jo?”

“If you had stayed Gally, you would know the answer,” Jaime teased as he leaned over and kissed Brienne’s shoulder. Brienne hummed happily at the gentle affection. Although Jaime missed the days where he could have his head on her lap while she read to him, the trade off had been more than worth it.

Galladon shook his head as he hugged his mom again, “Jo always tries to steal mama.”

“None of you can steal me,” Brienne replied easily as she ran a soothing hand down Galladon’s back, “Plus Jo likes being in the middle.” Joanna gaped at her mom for exposing her secret.

“Except when you two kiss,” Joanna added petulantly, trying to turn off the curiosity in Galladon’s eyes. Jaime raised an eyebrow at Brienne and Brienne rolled her eyes, but leaned over towards him anyways. “NO!” Joanna decried as she tried to throw her hands between her parents’ lips, but she failed in her task. Jaime and Brienne exchanged a brief, but soft kiss as Joanna continued to make faces. “Gross!”

Jaime and Brienne didn’t separate again and simply rested the crowns of their heads against one another over Joanna’s own, “So what did you choose Jo?” Brienne asked as she reached out for the book still in Joanna’s hand.

Joanna squirmed in her seat excitedly and gave her mom the picture book, “Beauty and the Beast!”

Galladon groaned loudly and buried his face into Brienne’s chest, “Jo! There’s no knights in Beauty and the Beast!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter comes from Ronan Keating's This I Promise You (NOT NSYNC'S EVEN IF I LOVED THEM).
> 
> Gosh writing an accelerated time line is HARD. I have to concentrate so much more on making sure all the pieces fit together right. Is it weird for you that the first 26 chapters occurs in four months, the next 5 in the next four months, and now the rest is going to happen over X number of years? Cause it's definitely weird for me. I'll put Jaime and Brienne's ages down here if people want a reference to follow along (hints of their ages are imbedded in the text, but even I sometimes have to go... WHERE IS IT *foams at mouth*)
> 
> Part 1: 22, Part 3: 25, Part 4: 30
> 
> Also, as this fic is coming to a close. For those that don't know. I'm [eryiscrye](https://eryiscrye.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. Come interact with me! I basically spend an inordinate amount of time reblogging Jaime x Brienne and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau content. Ask me anything about UiAtW. Probably not about the next couple of chapters, cause I mean... those will be out in the next week ish, but if you do have any questions after those are out, or questions otherwise, or even just to say hi, I love you all!
> 
> This chapter is short, but to make up for it... the next one will be long...er. Also the crack dial is going to be amped way up for one scene... but sometimes one can't help what happens when the Lannister's are involved.


	33. Generations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which one generation teaches another, teaches another, teaches another.

Jaime grinned from his position, his emerald eyes sparkling with mischief. Brienne wasn’t mad though. She wasn’t even close to mad. She was desperate. Wanting. Her hands tugged at his hair as she keened, “ _Jaime_.”

“I don’t understand what you want wife,” Jaime teased from between her spread thighs.

Brienne pouted as she tugged at his hair again and slid further down the couch to try and bring his mouth closer to her, “More,” she demanded softly.

Jaime bit his bottom lip in mirth, “More what?” he asked before he brought his tongue back to her wet folds, and swirled it lightly around the pulsing bundle of nerves, “More this?”

“Oh gods, yes,” Brienne moaned.

Jaime gripped Brienne’s thighs more firmly as he adjusted his kneeling position, ready to worship her until she could do nothing but beg by the sound of his name. It had been so long since they had had enough time for more than a quick or quiet fumble. There were always so many eyes and ears roaming about the house.

Placing one of her thighs over his shoulder, Jaime ran the tips of his free fingers over her wet folds. Brienne keened his name again and with a nip to her sensitive bud, he plunged two of his fingers into her right to the third knuckle. Brienne cried out from pleasure as she once again slid down on the couch to try and take his fingers deeper. He curled them and worked her to oblivion.

Jaime wasn’t going to take a single minute of their solitude for granted.

Just as Brienne’s voice began to rise in pitch and volume, calling his name, her spine arching in bliss, the front door opened with a loud bang.

“Mom! Gally forgot his overnight bag again!”

“Well Cat forgot Mr. Lumps!”

“I need, need, neeeeeed Mr. Lumps!”

“Upstairs kids, in and out! Your mom and dad are having a date night!” Sansa voice chirped.

“By the Seven!” Brienne screeched as she grabbed the nearest throw off of the back of the couch and threw it over her lap and subsequently also Jaime’s head.

Jaime was still wrestling his way out from below the throw when Margaery Tyrell strolled to the entrance of the living room space. She leaned against the entrance with a raised eyebrow and a wide smirk plastered on her face, her eyes zeroing in on the blanket on Brienne’s lap and the straining of the crotch of Jaime’s pants, “That didn’t take you two very long.”

“You try having three kids!” Jaime snapped as he fell back on his ass with his arms crossed petulantly, his hair stuck up in every which way both due to Brienne’s hands and the static of the blanket. He had been so damn close.

Sansa popped up behind Margaery with an apologetic smile on her face, “Sorry, we tried to turn around as soon as we could so that we wouldn’t interrupt anything but uh…”

“You mean you were,” Margaery corrected with a wink as she turned her head and kissed Sansa on the cheek, “I was trying my hardest to catch them in the act. Turns out we probably could have just gone out to the car and back.”

Brienne groaned as she tilted her head back and thumped it purposefully on the back of the couch, “I’m glad you found ‘the one’ and everything Sansa, but did it really have to be Margaery bloody Tyrell?”

Sansa giggled as she wrapped her arms around Margaery’s waist, “Sorry Brienne, love finds you when you least expect it and all of that.”

“I’m a treasure,” Margaery primed as she tossed her hair.

“You could have at least asked her for her fucking last name before you went all in,” Jaime grumbled, “Hell you should have run for the hills when you heard the name Margaery, there aren’t that many of them.”

“We could just not take your kids tonight you know,” Margaery threatened mischievously.

“Marg! No!” Sansa berated as she stepped to the side, letting go of her girlfriend. Margaery pouted, “Remember? It’s our chance to out do Renly and Loras!”

Margaery’s eyes sparkled as a million ideas went through her head.

Brienne glared at them, “Remember what I said about all of you trying to out do each other. You’re all spoiling them. Renly, Loras, you two,” she turned to Jaime, “Addam, your siblings!” Jaime shrugged helplessly. It was a universal fact that no one stopped Cersei or Tyrion when they had their mind set on something. And being the first kids to be born of their cohort, Brienne and Jaime’s children were spoiled rotten on all fronts.

“Did you say Uncle Ren and Uncle Lor?” The four adults turned to the little six-year-old boy, his eyes glowing in reverence. “Are we going to go see them tonight?”

“No Galladon,” Sansa said as she swept towards him and hulled him and the bag he was carrying into her arms, “You’re hanging out with Auntie Sansa and Auntie Margaery tonight and we’re going to have so much fun that you’re going to forget all about silly Uncle Renly and Uncle Loras.”

“But they’re so cool!” Galladon espoused, “Did you see their new movie? They played these knights. And they did the fighting. They had to fight against each other! Can you imagine Uncle Renly and Uncle Loras ever fighting?”

Sansa simply giggled as the other three adults exchanged looks. Galladon had been a fanatic of critically acclaimed actors Renly Baratheon-Tyrell and Loras Tyrell-Baratheon since he had been able to comprehend screens. His love of them was only rivalled by his love of sports and breaking his bones doing risky things.

Before anything more could be said to Galladon about how Renly and Loras were stupid and Sansa and Margaery were the best, Joanna literally tumbled down the stairs. Limbs splayed every which way on the landing, she popped her head up in a waterfall of golden curls, her infant blue eyes having turned her dad’s emerald green as well. She beamed at them all as she jumped back to her feet, “Whoops.”

“Are you okay Jo?” Jaime asked from inside the living room as he gave Brienne an amused look from the corner of his eye. Brienne shook her head with a smile on her face. Joanna was not steady on her feet. She had gotten most of Brienne’s build and none of her grace.

“I’m okay dad!” Joanna shouted as she dusted herself off. “Cat’s just trying to find Mr. Lumps still.”

“I have Mr. Lumps!” Catelyn screamed as she ran down the stairs at full tilt. Margaery ran forward to grab her before her four-year-old body could careen into the nearest wall at the foot of the stairs.

Margaery swept Catelyn up into her arms where she giggled and waved around a lion stuffed animal with a missing ear and looked pointedly at Sansa, “No to having three kids in four years.”

“I’ll remind you that Sansa, Arya, and Bran were born within three years of each other,” Brienne called out. She was duly ignored.

Sansa snorted and laughed with Margaery, “I’m pretty sure everyone that knows these three hell spawn have the same mantra.”

“Don’t call my kids hell spawn little Cat!” Jaime called out to the foyer.

“They are though,” Brienne whispered as she leaned forward on the couch and rested her chin on Jaime’s shoulder.

Jaime turned towards her and smirked, “I know,” he muttered back, “But you got to keep up pretences when they’re your own kids.”

“They all get it from you,” Brienne teased.

“You lie wife!” Jaime gasped with mock affront. Brienne giggled and pecked him on the lips.

“Eww! Mom. Dad. No!” Joanna yelled with disgust as she wrinkled her nose and stuck out her tongue, “Auntie Sansa, Auntie Margaery, let’s go! Mom and dad are being gross again.”

Margaery burst out laughing at that while Sansa tried to shush her girlfriend, “We’ll have them back mid-day tomorrow,” Sansa beamed.

“Bye mama, bye papa, have fun,” Catelyn chimed.

“Have fun littlest Cat,” Jaime replied.

“Keep Auntie Sansa and Auntie Margaery in line you three!” Brienne teased.

“Yes mom!” Galladon answered.

Margaery wiggled her eyebrows at them as she disappeared through the front door, “Enjoy your night! Don’t keep yourselves in line,” she called out and then the front door slammed.

Brienne turned around on the couch and Jaime climbed onto it. They peeked out from between the curtains and watched as Sansa and Margaery piled their children back into their car and drove away.

“Do you think they’ll be back?” Brienne asked with a tilt of her head as she watched the car turn down the street.

Jaime frowned and contemplated, “No…”

“Good.”

Brienne turned on the couch and pushed Jaime against the back by the shoulders before deftly undoing the button of his jeans and pulling them down along with his boxer briefs. Within seconds she was straddling him and lowering herself onto him as he grunted in surprise and pleasure. “Gods, wife. You _do_ know what you want.”

* * *

Jaime was the first one to notice it. It was just the slight tilting of a book, the gentle squint of her eyes, and the unwavering stare on a page. A lump grew in his throat that threatened to choke him.

He took a night to process it, crying in Brienne’s arms as she patiently soothed him, whispering loving words into his hair and pressing kisses upon kisses upon kisses on to his eyes. There was nothing wrong with him, like there had been nothing wrong with her mother or her brother… or their youngest daughter.

The next day, Brienne and Jaime went together with Catelyn to a specialist. Catelyn didn’t have very much to say during the appointment, her disposition ranging on the side of quiet to begin with, but Jaime still worried. It was hard being told you were different, even if it was better than being told you were stupid.

When they left the appointment, Brienne brought them both to get ice cream and asked them both, “Are you okay?”

Catelyn happily chomped through her cookie dough and nodded enthusiastically, she had ice cream after all, while Jaime had given his wife a small smile. She reached out and took his hand, anchoring him when he felt lost at sea.

That night, he sat down with Catelyn alone while Brienne entertained Joanna and Galladon. “You know littlest Cat,” Jaime said as Catelyn snuggled into his side and he wrapped his arm around her, “Daddy can’t read very well either.”

“I know,” she said simply, hugging Mr. Lumps in her lap, “It’s why mom always reads us the bedtime stories and you always tell them from memory.”

“So you know it’s going to be okay, right?” Jaime asked.

Catelyn’s little six-year-old face furrowed in confusion, “What do you mean daddy? Why would it not be okay?”

“It’s okay that you can’t read that well. We’ll make sure you’ll get all the help you need.”

Catelyn smiled at him brightly as she finally understood what her dad was trying to tell her, “Oh daddy. You’re so silly,” she giggled as she wrestled out of his hold and stood up on the couch and kissed him on the forehead like she had always seen her mother do, “Of course it’s going to be okay daddy,” her ocean blue eyes sparkled, “I want to be just like you when I grow up anyways.”

* * *

“Foul!” Brienne screamed as she shot to her feet.

“Mom!” Joanna decried as she slapped her hands over her face.

“You’re embarrassing Gally and Coach Marbrand,” Catelyn pointed out sweetly.

Brienne teetered slightly on her feet. Jaime grabbed Brienne’s arm and dragged her back down into her seat. Addam rolled his eyes from the sidelines, but then signalled at the referee. It had indeed been a foul. “The ref needs new eyes,” Brienne hissed under her breath as Jaime rubbed her arms.

“Also Gally is going to pout all evening about the fact that you called foul on _his_ team,” Jaime snickered as he watched his son throw his head back and stare listlessly at the ceiling while his team lost possession of the ball.

“Maybe Addam needs to impress better discipline on the boys,” Brienne mumbled feeling mildly guilty about her son. But what were sports without rules. Nothing. They were nothing. Her beanstalk of a sportsman son would get over it anyways. He would get the ball back in no time flat and he would do it without fouling anyone. Brienne was so proud of him.

“They’re twelve years old, wife. This is about as disciplined as they get,” Jaime chuckled as he wrapped his arm around her waist.

Brienne sighed in acquiescence, and leaned into Jaime’s warmth. She shivered and Jaime’s fingers curled protectively into her. Today had been a hard day for her. From the moment she had woken up her bones had ached, her skin was clammy, she hadn’t been able to eat, and she just couldn’t get warm. Jaime pulled her closer as his teeth worried over his lower lip. But she was still alive. And every moment that she was, Brienne made a point to attend all of their children’s games, all of their children’s plays, attend every milestone of their lives that she could. He knew that she didn’t want to miss a thing, not while she was still around.

Jaime kissed her on the temple, “Do you want a granola bar?” he asked as he slipped one out of his jacket pocket.

Brienne’s eyes watered as she nodded and leaned her face in close to his. Jaime kissed her softly, his fingers brushing gently across her cheek.

“Gross,” Joanna complained half-heartedly as she leaned against her mother.

* * *

“Good morning wife,” Jaime yawned as he sauntered into the kitchen, his hair still a mess although he was already dressed for work.

“Good morning Jaime,” Brienne greeted lovingly as Jaime came up behind her and hugged her around the waist.

“I’ll get breakfast going in a second,” Jaime murmured gently as he snuggled her. He nuzzled his nose into the crook of her neck and kissed the base of her jaw.

Both of their eyebrows pulled together when a protest didn’t sound from the kitchen table. Jaime and Brienne looked up to see that, indeed, Joanna was still sitting there, eating her toast, and texting on her phone. “No protest Jo?” Brienne questioned.

Joanna placed her toast back down on her plate and her phone down on the table beside her plate and turned towards her parents. “I am a changed woman,” the whole fourteen years of her declared.

“Are you now?” Brienne asked, somewhat amused.

Joanna nodded, her emerald eyes shining, “I don’t think kissing is gross anymore.”

Jaime’s eyebrows pulled even more together. “You… don’t?”

Joanna shook her head. She looked to her phone and her other hand hovered up to her lips, “Actually, I think kissing is quite nice now.”

If Jaime had been drinking coffee he was pretty sure it would have splattered all over the kitchen counter. But since he wasn't, Brienne just felt him wheeze on her neck. Brienne patted the hands he still had on her waist soothingly and calmly enquired after who Joanna had been kissing and _were they nice?_ _They better be nice_.

Joanna’s exposition nearly put Brienne’s to shame. Nearly. Nothing beat the contents of those precious diaries.

\---

After Jaime dropped the three kids at school, he called into work and took a sick day. Then, he drove to Selwyn Tarth’s house and banged on the front door like a crazed lunatic, because he wanted to handle this situation _right_ and like hell did he know how to handle this situation right. So he needed to talk to the man who had definitely handled the situation right.

Selwyn opened the door and smiled at his harried looking son-in-law, “Brienne called me to tell me you would probably be rushing over.”

Jaime couldn’t help the pleasant swelling in his chest that he still got, even after seventeen years of marriage, when Brienne knew what was on his mind. But that wasn’t what he was here for. He was a man, a father, on a mission. “Can I come in?”

“Of course. I’m guessing you’re looking for some fatherly advice?” Selwyn asked with a strangely amused smile on his face.

Jaime stepped over the threshold with a nod and took off his shoes. “Fatherly advice is right.”

“Tea then?”

“Please,” Jaime implored. Selwyn nodded and swept away into the kitchen, still looking oddly entertained. “I don’t think I can handle the thought of Joanna dating without some caffeine in me,” Jaime muttered as he stepped into the living room.

“Joanna is seeing someone?”

Jaime blinked. He stared into Selwyn’s living room. His eyes narrowed. He blinked several more times. He closed his eyes tight and then opened them wide. He shook his head back and forth. He stepped back out of the room and then back in again. He turned around and then back. “Selwyn!” he called out, “When did the entrance to your house become a portal to the eleventh dimension?”

“Why eleventh?” Selwyn asked from the kitchen clearly holding back his laughter.

“Because I don’t think that even in the fourth to tenth would my father be sitting in your living room,” Jaime replied as he continued to stare at Tywin Lannister sitting in what used to be Brienne’s armchair. Jaime blinked again just to make _sure_ his mind wasn’t playing tricks on him. His father was still there.

Tywin rolled his eyes. He _rolled his eyes_ , “Dramatic as always Jaime.”

“Obviously, I'm still asleep or Tyrion has switched my water with absinthe and all of today has been a hallucination. Well that's good to know that Joanna hasn't actually kissed anyone yet. I have more time to prepare. ”

Selwyn reappeared out of the kitchen with a steaming hot mug of black tea, “You’re not drunk or asleep son.”

“Don’t call my son, son Selwyn.”

“Then maybe you should have been more of a father Tywin.”

And for a second, Jaime thought that another throw down would happen between Tywin Lannister and Selwyn Tarth and he grappled for his phone. After all, the last time this had happened, at his wedding, the video had earned Tyrion a fortune in ad sense money on VarysView when it had gone viral. The money had gone into some key investments and was part of the how Tyrion had managed to so cleanly overtake their father in the business game some years ago. Irony at its finest. This time, it could be Jaime bringing in the big bucks. Maybe he could buy Brienne Oathkeeper with the kind of money a seventeen-year redux video would make. Jaime imagined her all too adorable “I love you, but what the fuck have you done Jaime!” face. His plan was flawless.

“I’m not going to throw your father out the window, son,” Selwyn chuckled as he sat down in his own armchair after setting the tea down on the table.

Jaime frowned as he lowered his phone with a childish pout unbecoming of a thirty nine year old man, “Why not?”

“Because he and I are friends.”

Jaime blinked. “Excuse me?”

Tywin primly sipped at his own tea. “I come over every Tuesday.”

“Since when?” Jaime cried while reaching for his cup.

“Since Roose Bolton razed his company to the ground,” Selwyn chuckled merrily.

Tywin’s eye twitched, but he didn’t say anything. A sign of defeat if there ever was any and Jaime’s respect of Selwyn grew all the more. Though he supposed the collapse of a business empire would hinder the hiring of assassins, especially assassins that could take on even a seventy something Selwyn Tarth.

Jaime inched into the living room slowly and took a seat on the couch, eying his father. “No one is ever going to believe me…”

Tywin pointedly ignored Jaime’s incredulous look. “So even Joanna has a boyfriend now?” Tywin reiterated eventually, “Cersei has really missed out on her chance.”

Jaime placed his cup down on the table in front of him and rubbed his temples. His father’s views on women were sometimes archaic. How his mother had managed to temper this for over thirteen years, Jaime still could not comprehend. “Father… Cersei is married, she has been… for like… a decade.”

Tywin furrowed his eyebrows, “Why do none of my children invite me to their weddings? I guess there are no more to attend.”

Jaime scowled, “Tyrion’s getting married next month, but somehow I’m not surprised you’re not invited.”

Tywin genuinely looked surprised that someone would want to marry his youngest son. Jaime was ready to throw his father out the window in Selwyn’s stead. Selwyn Tarth had the patience of the Seven to deal with this every Tuesday. “Well then,” Tywin tsked, “Who is Cersei married to? She’s always at work.”

“Yeah, with her husband. Stark Lannister-Stark? She’s one of those Starks in the practice’s name? There aren’t two lawyers in that family, thank the Seven.”

Tywin’s eyes narrowed, “That starry eyed boy? But she hates him, won’t stop complaining about him every time I see her, telling me about how displeasing his… dimple is.”

Jaime snorted so loudly that his nose hurt. “Does she still go off about his hair too?”

Tywin nodded, not understanding why Jaime was cackling so uproariously. “She vehemently denies any relationship with that boy.”

“For the love of the Seven father. Cersei denied being married to him at their own wedding reception. It’s what she _does_.”

“Well how was I to know when neither Cersei nor the boy invited me—“

“The _man_ is your son-in-law; his name is Robb Stark. And she really doesn’t hate him. She’s actually quite smitten _still_ and I dare say it’s _too_ adorable. You would know this if you cared to actually spend time with her rather than just see her for an occasional lecture. They have two kids. Do you somehow not know about Tommen and Myrcella?”

“I thought they were bastard children.”

“Oh holy fuck. Did you actually just call your grand kids bastard children?”

“I keep telling you Tywin. This is why none of your children call you dad,” Selwyn chastised, “But do you listen? No. You still think you know your children best.”

“Wait…" Jaime's face twisted, "You want us to call you _dad_? And not like… grand overlord supreme?”

Tywin pursed his lips until they were a thin line. At that very moment in time, Jaime abruptly realized where Cersei had gotten her big personality. Tywin was less naïve than Cersei had been when it came to money and business, but he had no handle on the consequences of his words and actions on his interpersonal relationships. Suddenly, his father seemed less tyrannical and more… sad. Cersei, if she had never been forced to face herself.

Jaime wondered if even Brienne would believe him if he told her of his day at her father’s house.

“So Jaime, you were here to ask a question?” Selwyn asked still all too clearly delighted at this confrontation.

Jaime’s eye twitched. “I think it’s been answered,” he pointed at Selwyn, “Act like you,” he pointed at Tywin, “not like you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY FOR HOW CRACK THE LAST SCENE GOT BUT I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF. I love that last line. Makes me laugh every time.
> 
> Jaime and Brienne's ages - Part 1: 32, Part 2: 34, Part 3: 38, Part 4: 39
> 
> For those that don't know. I'm [eryiscrye](https://eryiscrye.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. Come interact with me!
> 
> Two chapters left, yikes!


	34. Love That’s More Than Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there are milestones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is from The Script's Never Seen Anything "Quite Like You".
> 
> So... the penultimate chapter of UiAtW. For this chapter my notes are going to come before so that I can give you all the chance to choose the ending that you would prefer to read. This fic was written with the full ending in mind, but the place I am suggesting an early stop is also fulfilling, though more ambiguous. If you would prefer that ending, do not read part 4/the last line. I will use a double line separation so you can really see it coming. It also means you probably shouldn't read the last chapter either haha. 
> 
> Whichever ending you choose, I just want to say. **Thank you.** Thank you so much for reading my first foray into a multi-chap JB. It's been a wild ride from my one week fugue state where I mashed out 70,000 of this fic to the detriment of the rest of my life (worth it), to the edits I have done ever since, which have grown this story into what it has become. It has gotten better and where it is because of all of you. 
> 
> I have so many JB WIPs in my fics folder now, some of which are one-shots, some of which are multi-chaps, and I'll probably post a bunch of stuff on my [tumblr](https://eryiscrye.tumblr.com/) about them soon to motivate me through writing them. Come on by and send me prompts if you'd like a drabble... or a long ass fic if that's just what my fingers happen to do.
> 
> Let's get on with it!
> 
> Jaime and Brienne's Ages- Part 1: 40, Part 2: 42, Part 3: 46, Part 4: ???

The heart monitor beeped in the corner as Jaime held her hand. It was the middle of the night and Selwyn had already taken the teenagers home to rest some, but Jaime refused to leave the halls of the hospital. His fingers tightened around hers as she let out a deep breath and her eyes finally fluttered open. She turned to him with a half lidded gaze, “I’m sorry. Did I give you another scare?” she asked with a low grainy voice.

Jaime swallowed. No words would come to him. So he just nodded his head.

She sighed bitterly as her eyes fluttered closed, exhaustion still permeating her bones. “I guess it wasn’t just a fever for once,” she murmured as the fingers of the hand he held brushed against his palms.

Jaime shook his head vigorously as his hands clenched around hers.

She turned to look at him. She regarded his state of dishevelment. From the bags under his eyes, it was obvious that he hadn’t slept for days. His clothes were wrinkled and his hair and beard were unkempt and greasy. Her eyes wavered as she stared at the nearly broken man before her, “Do you regret it sometimes?”

“Gods no,” he choked out, his voice raspy from disuse. Jaime hadn’t been able to speak much since he had woken up on the third morning of her fever and hadn’t been able to wake her up too. Joanna was the one who had called the ambulance in full hysterics as her father had gone catatonic and her younger siblings had been equally distressed.

“We’d only really known each other for like two and a half months when I told you Jaime,” Brienne sighed as she turned her gaze to glare at the cold, white ceiling, “It was surely callous and devious of me. I stole your future away from you with the stroke of a pen.”

“If I could be mad at you right now Brienne, I would be furious,” Jaime said as he leaned forward and rested his forehead against her hands. “Do you regret it?” he asked quietly.

“No,” Brienne said resolutely as she continued to glare at the ceiling, “But I’m the one who’s dying.”

“Please don’t force me to tell you to shut up wife.”

“I manipulated your feelings by telling you that I had loved you for years.”

“Brienne.”

“I influenced you into marrying me at seven months into our relationship…”

“Brienne.”

“Gods, I forced you into fatherhood when you were only in your mid-twenties.”

“Brienne!” Jaime roared having heard enough, “I chose you. I wanted you for forever before I knew about any of this. I wanted you for forever _after_. I would never have called you cruel before. But to imply that the way I feel about you, the way we feel about each other, is any _less_ because of any of those things, anything at all really, that’s… that’s deplorable.”

Brienne jerked and looked over at him and saw that tears had flooded his eyes. Tears flooded hers too. “I’m… I’m sorry Jaime...” She instinctively moved over to one side of the hospital bed.

“I know,” he replied quietly as he took off his shoes and climbed into the bed with her and held her tight, “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have yelled. But you were being absurd wife.”

Brienne wrapped her arms around him and held on as tight as she could. She tucked her nose below his chin and began to sob, “I’m just so scared Jaime.”

Jaime clenched his jaw as his tears fell. He buried his face into the hair on the crown of her head, “I am too. I am too.”

“I love you. I love you.”

“I love you so much.” _Please don’t leave me_. He wanted to say.

* * *

_Twenty years._ They had been married for twenty amazing years. Jaime sat on their bed waiting for Brienne to finish getting ready in the washroom and adjusted the cuffs of his light blue dress shirt.

Why his children insisted on making this more than just a casual event, he would never know, but it was an excellent idea to have a party in the garden either way. Their wedding had not just been a celebration of their marriage, but a celebration of all of the family and friends they had made along the way, so why not have it be the same for an anniversary? Jaime just really hoped that his teenage children could actually plan as well as they boasted they could. He really hoped that Joanna and Galladon wouldn’t break too many things.

“Wife,” Jaime called gently, “The children said to be downstairs at three on the dot, and you know how Joanna can get about punctuality.”

“I’m almost done,” Brienne called back, “Do you need help with your tie?”

As though he were compelled by the pull of gravity, Jaime stood up from the bed and walked to the washroom door and pushed it open. It wasn’t locked. He shook his head at himself, of course it wasn’t, he should have invaded her space sooner. When his eyes flickered up to look at her, he felt his breath get caught up in the back of his throat and the back of his eyes water.

Brienne was in front of one of the mirrors applying a second coat of mascara to her lashes and blinked as the natural light from the summer day suddenly flooded into the room and made her skin shimmer. “Oh, artificial light really does make one look like an old hag.”

Jaime couldn’t help the warmth that infused him at her choice of dress and chuckled as he came up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders, “You look nothing like an old hag ever,” he said and kissed the back of her neck. He saw the reflection of Brienne’s dazzling smile in the mirror and his lips curved against her skin.

Brienne was wearing a brilliant blue dress with shoulder straps that showed off the expanse of her shoulders and arms and hugged the beauty that was her form. It was the dress that he had gotten tailored especially for her exactly ten years ago for their ten year anniversary. Not only did the blue suit her, but also, the cut of the dress allowed all to see the love he had etched upon her skin that morning while they had been couped up in the bedroom, waiting patiently for their children to prepare the party.

Jaime traced a finger over the shimmering golden lines that he had drawn between her freckles. The finished masterpiece didn’t constellation the story of the stars, like its predecessors had, but instead, it imagined the story of their lives. Constellations of lions and manatees, of foxes and swords, of books and benches, of soda and granola bars, of children and fathers, of so, so, so much more were etched upon her skin. It was a tale of love and hope.

Brienne turned around and smiled at him, her blue eyes glowing. “What are you thinking about?”

Jaime blinked back the tears in his eyes, “Of us.”

Her hands went up to cup the back of his head and she stepped forward so that their bodies were pressed together and their foreheads touched. She blinked slowly and Jaime’s watched her kohl lashes flutter, “I love, you know,” she breathed.

His hands went to the small of her back as he pressed them closer together, “Oh I know,” he said and tilted his head so that he could capture her lips. “I know so much,” another kiss, “I know,” and another kiss, “And by the Seven how I love you too.” And another and another.

Brienne beamed at him as their kisses slowed and she pulled her upper body back to look at his tie, their legs still intertwined. “Let me tie that for you.”

Jaime nodded as her hands slid down his shoulders and over his chest before she grasped the two stretches of fabric and carefully looped them before pulling the knot so that it loosely hung at his throat. “Thank you.”

Brienne smiled and wrapped her arms back around his neck and rested her cheek on his shoulder, “Every time Jaime.”

He kissed her temple and they stood there for a moment just breathing each other in.

“Should we get downstairs?” Brienne eventually asked.

Jaime nodded and drew away from her. However, he caught her hand as it fell off his shoulder and interlaced his fingers between hers. “Let’s go see what the children have done.”

They exited their bedroom right as the clock hit three and ventured down the stairs. Just as they got to the very bottom, they were assaulted with a shower of streamers and confetti while their three children grinned at them, all dressed up and in a row. “Happy Anniversary!” they shouted.

“Happy Anniversary!” A louder ovation repeated.

Jaime and Brienne’s eyes widened as they looked around their living room and kitchen and even out into their garden to see all of their friends and family gathered, dressed up and clapping for their sakes amongst a sea of decorations. Most of the adults looked positively amused at the spectacle they were taking part in while all of the children rocketing about where having the time of their lives with their streamer and confetti guns.

“Where did you get all of these decoration from?” Brienne asked as she looked around what she was sure was her house.

Renly and Loras appeared out of the crowd and high fived each other. Brienne gasped in surprise to see them. “Benefits of knowing people in the film industry,” Renly grinned as he stepped forward and kissed Brienne’s cheek and gave Jaime a firm squeeze on the shoulder, “When our biggest fan contacted us, not only could we not say no, but we had to do even better.”

Galladon turned a bright red, but didn’t deny the fact that he was still obsessed with Renly and Loras. Jaime let out a muted laugh. Galladon’s obsession was driving him into spending half of his time in theatre and it was a relief that “break a leg” was just an expression rather than the common occurrence it had become with their overly active son.

“Thank you so much for taking the time out of your busy schedule to be here, I haven’t seen you in so long,” Brienne said as she dragged Renly back to her and gave him a large hug.

Renly hugged her back and sighed happily, “Missed you too Brienne.”

Sansa marched over and smacked Renly on the shoulder, “Stop hogging them, we’re all here to celebrate!”

“But I haven’t seen her in a month!” Renly argued.

“I didn’t even get a hug yet!” Loras protested.

Sansa rolled her eyes, but smiled, “Then visit more you idiots,” she then turned to Brienne and squealed, “Congratulations Brienne. Twenty years being married to this joker, how have you survived it?”

Jaime rolled his eyes, “Thanks little Cat.”

Sansa’s eyes soften, “There’s no other Cat for me to be little to anymore.”

Jaime shook his head and brought her close for a hug, “You’ll always be little Cat, little Cat.”

“And I’ll always be littlest Cat,” Catelyn chirped as she popped up between them, “Come on, you haven’t even moved from the bottom of the stairs. There are so many more things and people to see! Renly and Loras brought so many cool props!”

Sansa blinked away the tears in her eyes and nodded. Catelyn Stark had passed away a little over a year ago peacefully and in her sleep surrounded by her family and friends. “Come on,” Sansa said and grabbed Brienne’s hand to drag her away with Renly and Loras in tow.

“Uncle Jaime!” two kids screamed as they careened into him before he could take a step. Brienne simply giggled as Sansa continued onward anyways. “We’ll find you next Auntie Bri!”

Brienne burst into laughter, “I’m sure you will Myrcella!”

Jaime grunted on the floor as his niece sat on his chest and his nephew patted his cheeks, “Hello niblings.”

Tommen gave him a toothy smile, “Hello Uncle,” and gave him a big kiss on the forehead.

Myrcella bounced and Jaime tried to time his breaths so that he wouldn’t be left gasping for air, “Mom says that you and Auntie Bri have been married for twenty years! Twenty! You’re so old Uncle Jaime,” she sing songed.

“Oh, let your uncle up,” Cersei finally cut in as her face appeared in his vision. She raised an eyebrow at him as he rolled his eyes. He knew better than anyone that his sister had told her kids to tackle him down to the ground.

Tommen and Myrcella listened and climbed off of him and Jaime sat up. Robb offered him a hand and he took it. Tommen happily dusted Jaime’s now slightly crinkled shirt. “Congratulations,” Robb said and gave him a smile, “Simba?”

Cersei rolled her eyes, “Congratulations on not pissing off your wife enough for her to leave you, is that a Valyrian steel sword on your mantle?”

“Be nice,” Robb chuckled as his children clung onto him.

Cersei pouted at him and he kissed her on the forehead. Cersei immediately gave him her softest smile and then it disappeared when she turned back to her brother. It was equal parts sweet and creepy. “Seriously though Jaime.”

Jaime shrugged, “It’s just a replica, sadly father and Selwyn haven’t duked it out yet.”

Cersei eyed the two old men who had accosted a quiet frankly incredulous Brienne. No one was ever going to _ever_ get used to Tywin being around, ever. “I still don’t believe it even while I see it.”

Tyrion appeared with a camcorder in his hand and Tysha, his wife, by his side, “But I am always at the ready none-the-less, congratulations on not pissing off your wife enough for her to leave you Jaime.”

“Tyrion,” Tysha scolded.

“One day you’ll understand how foolish my older brother can be.”

Tysha shook her head, glanced at the open front door, and then glanced at Brienne who was still staring at Tywin as though he were a specter she might chuck salt at, “Not too foolish, I see.”

Tyrion chuckled, “Most of the time.”

Jaime rubbed his temples, “That is not what you should be congratulating me for.”

“Tomato, tomato,” Cersei and Tyrion said in unison. They looked at each other and snorted.

“Papa,” Tommen said as he pulled on Robb’s pant leg, “I’m hungry.”

Robb smiled down at his boy and ruffled his hair, “Let’s get you something to eat.” Tommen nodded and Myrcella chirped happily.

Cersei contemplated hanging out with her siblings for only a moment before she stuck her tongue out at them and skipped after her husband and children, hanging onto Robb’s arm like the smitten teenager she often was around him. Jaime and Tyrion watched Cersei excitedly pat Robb’s arm and heard her exclaim, “Darling, let’s send Tommen and Myrcella at the grand overlord surpreme next!”

“I’m never going to get over it,” Tyrion muttered as he lowered his camcorder, “Our family is _weird_. It’s like half of us never learnt normal human behaviour.”

Jaime shook his head at Tysha while mouthing, “All of us.” She giggled. Then he turned to Tyrion, “Neither am I.”

“Look at us,” Tyrion laughed, “All happy, even father.”

“You mean…” even for the joke Jaime choked a bit on the word, “Dad.”

Tyrion’s face twisted involuntarily, “Stop please. That was horrific.”

“You’re right, never again.”

“I’ll find you again in a bit?” Jaime nodded and Tyrion and Tysha swept away to the garden.

Jaime only just made it to the kitchen before a beer was shoved into his hand and Addam raised his own in a toast to him, “Congratulations man.”

Jaime cracked open the can and tapped it against Addams, “Congratulations,” he grinned and took a large gulp, “I heard that you team is doing well this season.”

Addam shrugged, “They always do well. I’m a great coach.” Jaime laughed. “I saw Bronn and Oberyn milling about. Oberyn’s nephew too. Your niece was making eyes at him.”

“But she’s ten!” Jaime exclaimed.

Addam raised an eyebrow at him and then snorted loudly before breaking out into laughter. Jaime coloured as he realized the ridiculousness of his exclamation. He looked over at Brienne who was now amiably chatting with her father. His heart warmed while his eyes swiveled to the mantle. Even if the sword had actually been Oathkeeper, it would not have been the most valuable thing above the fireplace. Three books: blue, green, and red, were, by far, more priceless. “Well hopefully the Martell kid isn’t as stupid as you were.”

“I hope it doesn’t play out exactly the same way,” Jaime said.

“I hope so too,” Addam agreed. “What are you doing man? Go back to your wife.” Jaime looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Addam rolled his eyes, “You keep mooning at her. It’s why everyone keeps walking away from you. Just go find her, I’ll come chat with you again soon.”

Jaime reached out and gave Addam a hug, “Thanks man. You’re the best.”

“Nah, you are,” Addam grinned and hugged Jaime back.

Jaime politely greeted all of his guests as he passed them, but no one could stop him on his way back to Brienne. No one except for one person. Joanna swept in front of him, “Hi dad,” she smiled.

Jaime grinned and looked right into her eyes, she was so tall, like her mother, “Hi sweetie.”

“I’m sure you’ve heard congratulations many times already,” she said.

Jaime laughed, “I have.”

“I think that’s kind of silly,” Joanna giggled, “It’s not like you wouldn’t have gotten to this point for any other reason than…” Joanna trailed off.

Jaime understood, “Thank goodness there’s one person who thinks I don’t annoy your mother enough for her to want to leave me.”

Joanna’s laugh was loud and bright and beautiful, “No. She’d never leave you unless she had to.”

Jaime’s eyes softened and he brought his daughter into his arms, “I know. She wouldn’t leave any of us unless she had to.”

Joanna nodded, her eyes dry as she hugged her father, “So I’m not going to say congratulations. I’m going to say thank you. Thank you for loving each other and loving us.”

“Easiest thing I’ve ever had to do Jo, sweetheart.”

Joanna laughed, “I didn’t realize I go my artistry from you until I saw mom earlier.”

“I am an artist,” Jaime grinned as he pulled away.

Joanna nodded and laughed, “I hope you have fun today dad.”

“I already am.”

Joanna smiled, “Good!” And with that she swept away, tripping slightly over her two feet.

Jaime shook his head and then felt two arms wrap around his waist. “Are you going to congratulate me too?”

Brienne giggled and kissed the shell of his ear, “No. I think I’m going to take a page out of our daughter’s book and say thank you.”

Jaime turned around in her arms and kissed her on the nose, “Thank you too.”

* * *

Brienne swept her long hair over her shoulder as she turned her back to Jaime. He reached out and grasped the little silver zipper and pulled it up along the curve of her spine as he kissed the nape of her neck. She turned around and reached to fix his tie and readjust his collar, patting her hands gently on his shoulders and collarbone. Slowly, Jaime swept Brienne’s hair back over shoulder and tucked errant strands behind her ear. Brienne ran her hands through Jaime’s neat, short, gold and silver flecked beard, the texture on her fingers and palms tickling her. “You’re ridiculous.”

Jaime caught her hand with his own and turned his lips into her palm to press a kiss there and then into the inside of her wrist, “What are you talking about wife?”

Brienne’s blue eyes softened, “Somehow you’ve gotten even better looking with age and I’ve just gotten uglier and more sickly.”

“Now who is the one being ridiculous?” Jaime murmured as he tugged her close and fluttered kisses over the line of her jaw, “You’ve never been ugly wife. Not then and certainly not now.”

Brienne ever so slightly leaned back with a raised eyebrow, “You’ve said this before. That I’ve never been ugly.”

“And I’ll say it again because it’s true,” Jaime said back simply, “I’ve never thought you were ugly.” Brienne raised an eyebrow again. Jaime chuckled, “Okay fine. I’ve been stupid and agreed when someone has called you ugly. But I’ve never said that you were ugly.”

“Then what would you call me?” Brienne asked, “And I’ll know you’re lying if you say beautiful Jaime.” She tapped him on the nose. Her sapphire eyes sparkling still.

Jaime shook his head, “I’ll be honest. I’ve never thought that either.” Brienne nodded with a small smile on her lips. Jaime scrutinized her for a moment, even though he already knew what he was going to try and say. She still looked lovely despite the fact that she did indeed look sicklier, but he didn’t dwell on that long. She was still _alive_ after all. That was what mattered. The deep blue of her simple, summer dress brought out the still spectacular colour of her eyes and the way the sun shone on her now even lighter flaxen hair only made her glow. The crooked bridge of her nose gave her face character and he loved her natural build and height. “I guess I never really put words to how you look. Unusual, maybe. Unique, probably. Different, certainly. But to me… you were just a girl, and then you were the girl who told me I wasn’t stupid. Then you became a woman who was good and kind and then, of course, the woman that I loved.”

Brienne blinked slowly as she registered his words and then gave him a soft smile as she hugged him close to her, tucking his head into the crook of her neck as she tucked her own into the crook of his. “Gods Jaime.”

“Hm?” he asked as he kissed her freckled skin. He had memorized the map of her body long ago.

“You’re ridiculous.” Her voice was watery with emotion and he smiled and tilted his head to rub his temple against hers. He took one of her hands in his and led her into a slow gentle sway around their bedroom to the sound of their own music.

He chuckled, “Maybe I am.”

A knock sounded on their bedroom door.

“Come in son,” Jaime said.

Galladon opened the door slowly and stuck his head in and smiled when he saw his parents dancing, “We need to go soon or else we’re going to miss littlest Cat’s graduation. Jo’s outside in the car already.”

Brienne stood back up tall and flicked the tears from the corner of her eyes, “We’ll be right down Gally.”

“Okay mom,” Galladon nodded and closed the door again. They both heard him amble down the stairs.

Jaime held his elbow out, “Are you ready to go see our youngest child graduate high school wife?”

Brienne laughed fondly as she took his elbow, “I am husband.”

Jaime placed his other hand over hers and felt the metal of their wedding bands clink together. They made their way down stairs.

* * *

* * *

And then, one year later, when Brienne turned forty-seven, her blood work told them she had progressed into the accelerated phase.


	35. I’ll Explain the Infinite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jaime listens to Brienne read to him.

Brienne departed on a warm, summer’s evening, resting on her husband’s shoulder, comfortable, in the home that she had made with him.

The cancer took her before she turned fifty. And although it can not be said that her death was ideal, everyone that Brienne had ever loved and everyone that had loved Brienne had been able to say goodbye and then her goodbye had been a gentle passing.

It wasn’t how Selwyn would have wished it, if he had been given a choice, but he had outlived his only remaining child. Fortuitously though, Brienne had expanded their family in the time that she had been given, and he would grow old enough to know and love some of her grandchildren, his great grandchildren, where she couldn’t.

The Tarth-Lannister family still spent every Christmas day at Selwyn’s house, even after Brienne had gone. It was a tradition that had naturally transferred to Jaime’s home when Selwyn had eventually passed away in his late nineties.

As Jaime had promised Brienne, he hadn’t grieved her death the way that his father had grieved his mother’s. He had loved his children more, had adored and supported them through every step of their university years, and had continued to be around for them for the rest of his life. Jaime had channeled the late Catelyn Stark and had become everyone’s father or everyone’s grandfather as it may.

As Catelyn Stark had once hoped for him, he had built a home out of the life he had lived with Brienne. He had friends and family, so even when she had gone, they all supported him through the darkest periods of his mourning.

But he never stopped mourning.

The person who supported Jaime the most through his periods of grief was Brienne herself.

She had left behind recordings for him.

Brienne had been too shy and embarrassed when they had been twenty-two to narrate her diary entries about him to him, but when she had found out about her leukemia’s progression, those reservations had all flown out the window. Not only did she narrate to him her diary entries, but she also told him the story of _them_ through her eyes, from the moment he was chosen to be the narrator for the Winter Semester Fair’s showcase to the day she couldn’t record anymore. She then had the audio files emailed to him, one recording a month, over the course of the first year after she had passed, to buoy him when he felt like he would drown.

It had been more than he could ever wish for.

On the one year anniversary of her death, Jaime had received a package in the mail. Inside had been a sapphire blue audio player, over a year outdated in make and model, filled with audiobooks… all read by her.

There wasn’t a single day after her passing where Jaime didn’t hear her voice.

* * *

_("I am looking for friends. What does that mean--'tame'?"_

_"It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. “It means to establish ties."_

_"'To establish ties'?"_

_"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys.)_

The sweetest giggles. She had ascribed herself the fox after that first meeting for the Winter Semester’s Fair and even then she had known that those words were her grandest lie.

_(And I have no need of you.)_

More giggles. A smile bloomed on his salt stained lips. Hardly professional, but gods, he wouldn’t trade it for the world.

_(And you, on your part, have no need of me.)_

Wrong. Gods. So, so wrong. He had never needed anyone more.

( _To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world . . .")_

Jaime sat below the large oak tree that Brienne’s body had helped nourish ten years ago. The wind whistled through the leaves, throwing shadows and light over his hair and face, caressing him with summer’s warmth. The pads of his fingers stroked the rough, dark bark of a jutting root as the sun glinted off of his polished, gold wedding ring. Jaime was now much more silver, but there wasn’t a day where he let his ring go to tarnish.

His three kids were all in the open glade, filled with picnic tables, not too far away, playing with their own children, his grandchildren. His friends and family were once again gathered up for the anniversary of Brienne’s passing and they had just finished eating their lunch at the Memorial Cemetery Park. Brienne had chosen to have her final resting place here, where it was easy to celebrate and live and love. It was where Jaime planned to go after as well, under the same oak tree.

_(“But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life.)_

She was indeed the sun, like the bursts on the Tarth crests.

_(I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow.)_

He missed the days where before he could even slot his key in the front door, blue like her eyes, she would throw it open with the brightest smile on her face, anticipating his arrival and greeting him truly.

_(And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the color of gold!)_

A giggle again. He had eventually managed to get out of her what she thought of his hair. Never did he think his own locks were so beautiful until the hours she spent expressing how mesmerizing they were after one too many painkillers. He missed her fingers in his golden hair. Especially while she was reading to him.

_(Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat . . .")_

Jaime took in a deep breath as he leaned his head back and rested it against the rough bark, allowing for her presence to wash over him. She was ever present in his life, but he rarely ever let her consume him during the day. It was only on special occasions, like today, that he would give himself this respite and pretend that the rest of the world just simply didn’t exist.

_(So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near--_

_"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry.")_

And cry and cry and cry.

( _"It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you . . ."_

_"Yes, that is so," said the fox._

_"But now you are going to cry!" said the little prince._

_"Yes, that is so," said the fox._

_"Then it has done you no good at all!"_

_"It has done me good," said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields.")_

He didn’t know how long he had been sitting there for, listening to Brienne’s voice reading to him The Little Prince, but it must have been at least an hour, probably closer to two.

_("Goodbye," said the fox.)_

Said Brienne.

He tasted salt on his tongue.

_("And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.")_

“Poppop?” Little fingers brushed at the tears on his cheeks.

Jaime’s eyes flashed open as a small child climbed into his lap and blew at the drop of brine on her skin. He hit the pause button on his audio player and pulled his headphones out of his ears. Emerald eyes swerved up to gaze at him. He searched through the trees and saw Joanna making a gesture of apology at him from a distance, but he smiled and waved her away. Joanna nodded and whisked herself back to the group of people.

“Poppop?” the child said again, her eyes large and doe-like. She reached out to him again.

Jaime wrapped his arms around their granddaughter and cuddled her close, wiping at the tears that were running down his face and dripping off his chin with his sleeve, “Poppop’s here,” he murmured and rubbed his cheek against the child’s head, “Did you run away from mama, darling?”

“I went to find poppop. What is poppop doing?” the girl asked as she changed direction now that his face was dry and reached out for the audio player in Jaime’s hand.

Jaime swallowed nervously, but let her hold it, “Be careful with that darling. It’s very important to poppop.”

She looked up at him again with her doe eyes and nodded. She fiddled with it gently before giving it back to her grandpa. He carefully placed it into his pocket. “What is poppop doing? Why isn’t poppop playing with all of us?”

“Poppop is spending time with nana,” Jaime explained. He glanced at his wedding ring, which he slowly began spinning around his finger with the tip of his left thumb, feeling the smooth metal against his skin

The girl peeked around him and regarded the tall oak tree, “This is where nana is?”

Jaime nodded and touched the root again, “This is where nana is.”

The girl bit her lip, her tiny hands fisting in his shirt, “Poppop, what was nana like?”

Jaime sighed as he looked up to the sky. It was so hard to find the right words to describe Brienne. She was just so special, so _dear_. How did you describe an emotion? How did you describe love? “She is wonderful, darling. The kindest person, so spirited, and smart, and I love her so.”

The child smiled sweetly as she accepted that answer, “Do you love me too, poppop?”

Jaime chuckled and picked the girl up so that he could nuzzle her nose with his. “Of course poppop does! Poppop loves you so much… little Brienne.”

Their granddaughter, Brienne, burst into a flurry of giggles and sloppily kissed Jaime’s cheek. He smiled at her as tears stung his eyes. He wondered if Brienne could see their granddaughter and he wondered how proud she was of her. Brienne would be so proud, like she was of all of their children. “Down please poppop.” Jaime nodded and placed their granddaughter back in his lap.

Brienne settled back into cuddling with him. However, she made a face as her cheek came into contact with something hard underneath Jaime’s sweater and she stared at Jaime with furrowed brows, demanding an explanation.

“Sorry,” Jaime chuckled and reached for the chain around his neck. He tugged it gently and two rings, which had been sitting in the dip between his collarbones under the collar of his sweater, clinked together.

Brienne stared at them fascinated while he slowly warmed the gold and Valyrian steel in his palm. “What are those poppop?”

“Rings. They belong to nana.”

“And you keep them with you, always?”

Jaime fingered the metal, “Always.”

A silence settled between them as Jaime idly played with the rings on the chain around his neck and their granddaughter settled back in against him, unencumbered by discomfort.

Brienne bit her lip again, “Are you okay poppop? You were crying.”

Jaime sighed and leaned heavily on the tree. He closed his eyes and let the breeze wash over him, “I’m okay little Brienne. Today poppop just misses nana more than usual.”

“Is it like when I miss you when I have to go home on Sunday’s?”

“A little, darling.”

“That’s sad.”

“It can be,” Jaime agreed, “But when you miss someone you also know that you love them.”

“I do love you poppop!”

“I know you do,” Jaime chuckled.

Brienne nodded and tapped her temple on his chest. “Is poppop going to stay here with nana for a little bit longer then?”

Jaime regarded the rings in his palms for a long moment, and then gazed at the tree for even longer. He let out a slow breath as his eyes softened, “Do you want me to stay here, little Brienne?”

“No,” she said emphatically as she wrapped her arms around his neck, “I want poppop to come play with us.”

Jaime smiled gently at her and her sad demeanour, “Then poppop will come play with you.”

Brienne looked up at him in surprise and grinned toothily, “Really?”

Jaime nodded, hefted his granddaughter into his arms so that she was braced against his shoulder, and stood up, “Really. But is it okay if poppop says goodbye to nana first?”

“Okay,” Brienne said as she looked up into the green leaves.

Jaime nodded and pulled out his audio player again. He inserted one earbud into his ear then hit the play button. His granddaughter settled in his arms, laid her head on his shoulder, and patiently waited.

And like Brienne always did at the end of every diary entry, of every memory, of every musing, of every book, and of every chapter she narrated to him, she said, _(“I love you, Jaime.”)_

Jaime eyes watered and his free hand, his left hand with the gold wedding ring, reached out and touched the oak tree. 

_I love you too, Brienne._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title of the chapter is once again from Sleeping at Last's "Saturn". The excerpts that Jaime is listening to come from chapter 21 of The Little Prince.
> 
> Oh god. 
> 
> It's the end. I cannot believe this. 
> 
> I am so unbelievably nervous ending this haha, but it had to end someday and today has come far too soon. Exactly 2 months after the first chapter, woof.
> 
> Thank you so much, to everyone who has been here since the beginning, to those who have joined part way through, to those who have just started reading, and to all of those reading in the future. This has been a whirl wind ride. It's been a long, long, long time since I've written a multi-chap in any fandom (one-shots being more my foray---happy, fluffy, funny one-shots for that matter, jesus) and this was definitely a challenge, but also so much fun. Thank you to all of those who left kudos and comments, you guys fed me through the hard days.
> 
> I hope that everyone enjoyed this story even the ending. I, at least, hope that the ending was fulfilling, even if it was bittersweet. The goal was tears and I have definitely harvested a ton of my own.
> 
> Follow me as [eryiscrye](https://eryiscrye.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. I'll probably be posting a list of my multi-chap WIPs and any comments or support on those idea are appreciated :).
> 
> See you all again soon! Much love to you all <3


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